What to do when the days grow very short
After 54 years of marriage, British conductor Edward Downes, 85, and his wife Joan, 74, traveled to Zurich last week to take the last step in life together. Sir Edward was described by his children as almost completely blind and increasingly deaf; his wife suffered from terminal cancer.
In Zurich, at an assisted-suicide clinic that operates legally under Swiss law, the famous conductor and the successful dancer and choreographer drank a barbituate cocktail and laid down together and died. Their grown children reportedly watched, weeping.
The case has stirred up a lot of commentary, but the best I’ve seen has come from Melanie Reid, a columnist at the Times of London. She writes:
“… before we rush to judgment about the rights and wrongs, let us grant this couple one thing: the right to make their own decisions about their lives, as they had presumably done in all the years before. Let us allow their absolute moral entitlement to choose what they considered to be a good death: together, lucidly, peacefully, and in control of their circumstances.
They euthanased themselves. It’s a kinder word to use than suicide.
Whether we, the public, considers what they did to be a good death is quite frankly immaterial. It was what the couple decided; and it was a brave, private decision. In that sense, how dare anyone be so patronising as to question it?
…. The end stages of life must become better managed here. If we were more adult about addressing what old people want, we would discuss this properly and understand what a good death means. It means counseling, by someone who understands the looming loneliness; and it also means the decriminalisation of helping someone to die. The point is that sometimes proper counselling would avert a suicide and sometimes it might not, but the choice would be with the individual.”
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209 comments Add your comment
FinnMcCool
July 15th, 2009
12:11 pm
The answer is on the table: Universal health care will solve all our health care problems!
DB, Gwinnettian
July 15th, 2009
12:12 pm
Another pertinent graf from Melanie’s piece:
The sadness, perhaps, is that the Downeses were required to leave their home and travel, in their state of physical decline, to the clinic. This is the grubby bit, the point at which it becomes the business of death: the sense of a road travelled by the desperate; of money changing hands.
TnGelding
July 15th, 2009
12:14 pm
Deaths with dignity. Noble acts indeed..
Wyld Byll Hyltnyr
July 15th, 2009
12:14 pm
Obumbler, through his healthcare proposal, stands ready to manage the end of life – if you are over 50 you won’t get anything that costs more than aspirin once the Obumbler rationing committee sets in unless, maybe, you are a latina wench and have the empathy of the court system on your side.
I Report :-) You Whine :-(
July 15th, 2009
12:15 pm
Do your government a favor; off yourself.
How stirring.
ew
FrankLeeDarling
July 15th, 2009
12:16 pm
Wow,that’s heavy and romantic.
david wayne osedach
July 15th, 2009
12:19 pm
We should have these legal death clinics here in the US. The less one has to travel to get here – the better. Moreover they should be 100% private.
Gandalf, the White! (!)
July 15th, 2009
12:20 pm
8th!
Gandalf, the White! (!)
July 15th, 2009
12:21 pm
They are both going to HELL!
Gandalf, the White! (!)
July 15th, 2009
12:22 pm
Death with Dignity? They committed murder!
Gandalf, the White! (!)
July 15th, 2009
12:26 pm
Logan’s Run anyone?
TnGelding
July 15th, 2009
12:26 pm
Gandalf, the White! (!)
July 15th, 2009
12:21 pm
Not if they believe in the Lord Jesus Christ:
“No one comes to the Father except through me.” – Jesus Christ
http://www.thelordjesuschrist.us/
Stan
July 15th, 2009
12:27 pm
They owned themselves. No one can make any claim on their lives but them. They went out in the manner of their choosing. Bravo to a well lived life.
Angry Black Man
July 15th, 2009
12:27 pm
All I can say is WOW!! I don’t know if I could make that decision for myself.
TnGelding
July 15th, 2009
12:30 pm
Gandalf, the White! (!)
July 15th, 2009
12:22 pm
They chose to go out on their terms instead of suffering the indignities of having their privacies and bodies violated. Lord, give me the courage and strength to do the same.
ByteMe
July 15th, 2009
12:30 pm
GtG: Soylent Green comes to mind here. Tastes like Wheat Thins.
@@
July 15th, 2009
12:30 pm
Switzerland does not have an assisted suicide statute, permits assistance by non-physicians, and does not require that the patient be terminally ill. In fact, assistance in suicide is technically illegal unless it is motivated by unselfish reasons.
How many times have a heard leftists here argue that re-distribution of wealth (a socialist tenet) is the “unselfish way to go?”
Creepy creepers!
Normal
July 15th, 2009
12:30 pm
Gandalf, If you came across a badly wounded man, with no hope of his survival, and nothing to ease his pain, would you put him out of his misery? If yes, would you have committed murder? and if so, would you go to your grave knowing you did the right thing? Just askin…
Normal
July 15th, 2009
12:33 pm
ByteMe
July 15th, 2009
12:30 pm
GtG: Soylent Green comes to mind here. Tastes like Wheat Thins.
—————-
…and good with peanut butter….
Doggone/GA
July 15th, 2009
12:34 pm
” don’t know if I could make that decision for myself.”
Well, think of this decision: my Mother had a brain tumor that she knew she would not survive. The doctors told her (and us) that NO ONE who had that kind of tumor had ever lived more than 2 years after diagnosis. They also said they could operate on it and give her a better chance at living that (possible) 2 years, but they already knew they couldn’t get it all and it would come back. At this point, she was having great difficulty communicating.
She chose to have that operation and she did VERY well after it. No healing issues, her communication abilities came back and she had no pain. She was able to work on getting her affairs in order. When the symptoms started to come back the doctors told her that because she did so well after the first operation they could operate again, but again, they were not going to be able to cure the problem.
She chose not to have the 2nd operation and she died, at home, about 14 months after being diagnosed.
For those who think a voluntary suicide such as is the subject of this blog…did she commit suicide or not? And if you think she did, do you think she went to hell?
I already know what *I* think.
Redneck Convert
July 15th, 2009
12:36 pm
Well, I’m against these clinics. They got no right to die before God wants them to die. They went and run out on the rest of us. If the rest of us are going to be miserable with old age and sickness they should be too. You can’t take a church group out to pray with somebody that’s dying if you know they’re going to Sin and up and go against God’s Will.
Besides, it leaves the rest of us to make up their share of taxes. Well, maybe not them, since they don’t live in the U.S. of A. Anyhow, the reason some states have laws against suicide is so people won’t cheat them out of taxes. I reckon they ain’t satisfied with taxing us after we’re in the grave.
But if we’re going to have these evil clinics here they need to be librul-only. I wouldn’t halfway mind to hear somebody like this Nix or Bosch or DB Gwinettian or U.S. in U.K. went and offed theirselfs. It would make it that much easier to elect a godly Republican next election. Instead of having them cancel my vote.
Have a good p.m. everybody.
Mrs. Godzilla
July 15th, 2009
12:36 pm
I believe God will welcome them into her arms.
Gale
July 15th, 2009
12:37 pm
David @12:19, perfect. I think the same exactly.
We don’t discuss death much in our home because the pain of living without the other is too hurtful to consider. In the sense that they were both “ready”, they were blessed.
getalife
July 15th, 2009
12:37 pm
cons are scared to death, literally, but some sick folks do not want to be a burden on their families and do not want to live in pain and suffering.
The empathy gene missing in con dna does not compute that it is a choice and freedom of one’s health.
Death is the deep sleep Jackson was seeking and nothing to be scared of.
Angry Black Man
July 15th, 2009
12:40 pm
Doggone, I applaud your mother’s decision. If put in that situation, I hope I can make a decision that would allow me to handle things with dignity like her. I try not to think of my own mortality, but since my daughter was born, it’s been on my mind more and more. I’m already making sure the I’s are dottted and the T’s are crossed just in case.
Normal
July 15th, 2009
12:41 pm
I already know how I’m going out. I’m going to be shot dead by a jealous husband of a younger woman at the age of 95…just surmisin’
TnGelding
July 15th, 2009
12:42 pm
Doggone/GA
July 15th, 2009
12:34 pm
And I think most of us agree with you. It was her decision to make and she courageously made it. You now have another angel watching over you.
Doggone/GA
July 15th, 2009
12:45 pm
“Doggone, I applaud your mother’s decision”
Thank you. I can only hope I can face my own death with the dignity and courage with which she faced hers.
Dealing with deal comes just a little easier for me because I have dogs. Have owned about 25 in my lifetime – to date – and no matter how much we love them, they will die long before we are ready for them to go.
Plus, with my Mother, because we already knew that she had…at most…2 years, most of our grieving was done while she was still alive. As she grew increasingly helpless, by the time she died it was as much a relief to us as anything. My Mother was a VERY capable woman and being helpless was not something she ever wanted. We were just grateful that she was not in pain too.
Jay
July 15th, 2009
12:45 pm
Not if Wyld Byll gets there first, Normal….
Doggone/GA
July 15th, 2009
12:45 pm
“You now have another angel watching over you”
Thank you too. I’ve always felt just like that.
Normal
July 15th, 2009
12:47 pm
Jay, I guess they don’t call him “Wyld” for nothin’…
Doggone/GA
July 15th, 2009
12:47 pm
“I’m going to be shot dead by a jealous husband of a younger woman at the age of 95…just surmisin’”
I think it was Justice Wendell Holmes who said that he didn’t know which was worse about growing old…being able to chase women, but not remember why…or remembering why, but not being able to chase them!
Wyld Byll Hyltnyr
July 15th, 2009
12:49 pm
Jay 12:45 pm
jay, thanks for recognizing me as the “man’s man” that I am.
Regards,
DB, Gwinnettian
July 15th, 2009
12:51 pm
They HAVE went and run out on the rest of us.
Fixed yer typo, RC.
Bosch
July 15th, 2009
12:52 pm
Okay Blog God, you let it through and then take it back? Blog God! Get consistent!!
Bosch
July 15th, 2009
12:53 pm
Okay, Blog God, is this better?
Normal@ 12:41,
Too funny. And I hope your laughing like a maniac when the time comes.
I applaud this couple. Barbituate cocktails. Nice.
Rightwing Troll
July 15th, 2009
12:54 pm
The gubbamint needs to stay out of our lives unless it involves sex or suicide, of course then it’s of paramount importance that the gubbamint protect us from ourselves and from homosexuals…
Bosch
July 15th, 2009
12:54 pm
I guess not. Blog God!!!
TnGelding
July 15th, 2009
12:54 pm
Thanks America!
BRASILIA (Reuters) – General Motors unveiled plans on Wednesday to spend about $1 billion in Brazil through 2012 to develop a new family of vehicles for South America, a priority market for the U.S. automaker as it looks to rebound from bankruptcy protection.
GM said it plans to use cash flow from South America to fund a large part of the investment plan. It has already secured a credit line of 344 million reais from local bank Banrisul, and is in talks with two other Brazilian banks, including state development bank BNDES.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090715/bs_nm/us_gm_brazil_1
Rightwing Troll
July 15th, 2009
12:54 pm
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Bosch
July 15th, 2009
12:54 pm
Normal,
I’ve been trying to comment that your 12:41 is funny, but apparently the Blog God doesn’t want me to.
Turd Ferguson
July 15th, 2009
12:56 pm
They were welcomed into Hell by Michael Jackson and JFK!!
Bosch
July 15th, 2009
12:56 pm
Funny thing is – those of you who’ve never had to care for sick elderly relatives – in my opinion, this should become the norm.
Evolution has not caught up with modern medicine – sometimes people just live too long.
Doggone/GA
July 15th, 2009
12:57 pm
“you let it through and then take it back?”
Wait a few minutes and refresh the page…it should come back.
DB, Gwinnettian
July 15th, 2009
12:57 pm
Jay, I guess they don’t call him “Wyld” for nothin’…
Indeed. They’re paid in cash, up front.
Normal
July 15th, 2009
12:58 pm
I couldn’t find the song but here are thre lyrics of a good attitude and a good life.
*Lyrics to: It Was A Very Good Year:
When I was seventeen, it was a very good year. It was a very good year for small town girls and soft summer nights.
We’d hide from the lights on the village green when I was seventeen.
When I was twenty-one it was a very good year: it was a very good year for city girls who lived up the stair,
With perfumed hair that came undone, when I was twenty-one.
When I was thirty-five it was a very good year, it was a very good year for blue blooded girls of independant means.
We’d ride in limousines; their chauffeurs would drive, when I was thirty-five.
But now the days are short, I’m in the autumn of the year.
And now I think of my life as vintage wine from fine old kegs:
From the brim to the dregs, it poured sweet and clear. It was a very good year!
Turd Ferguson
July 15th, 2009
1:00 pm
Perhaps this loving couple shouldve just drank some of the Obama-koolaid, thats killing the rest of us.
TnGelding
July 15th, 2009
1:00 pm
Bosch
July 15th, 2009
12:56 pm
Amen!
@@
July 15th, 2009
1:02 pm
What ever happened to “The Final Exit” four, jay? Have their shady dealings in assisted suicide been thoroughly scrutinized by the eight (?) states issuing warrants?
Scooter
July 15th, 2009
1:02 pm
Normal @ 12:41 pm,
I’m with you on that one.I don’t know about you but I will need some Viagra! Just saying…