Newtown shooting demands we consider our “call of duty” as parents

Snow-covered stuffed animals with photos attached sit at a memorial in Newtown, Conn. Tuesday, Dec. 25, 2012. People continue to visit memorials after gunman Adam Lanza walked into Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Friday, Dec. 14, and opened fire, killing 26, including 20 children, before killing himself. (AP Photo/Craig Ruttle)

Snow-covered stuffed animals with photos attached sit at a memorial in Newtown, Conn. On Dec. 14, Adam Lanza walked into Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown and opened fire, killing 26, including 20 children, before killing himself. (AP Photo/Craig Ruttle)

I admire Fred Assaf, head of Pace Academy in Atlanta, because he doesn’t shy away from the tough issues. Here is another example of his willingness to speak out on behalf of children.

In the wake of the Newtown school shooting, Assaf questions the popularity of violent video games, which many kids received as Christmas gifts last week.

Please note that all comments to the blog will be moderated and appear only after they are read and approved.

By Fred Assaf

Because I come to know 6-year-olds every year by having lunch with them in our Lower School, I know the boundless joy and optimism they have in the heart. They raise their hands when they don’t know the answer. When they run out of knock-knock jokes they know, the make up more on the spot.

They still need help opening their milk cartons. They look forward to holidays, visiting cousins, and seeing grandparents. They love their teachers, crave the structure of a school setting, and are learning to read fast and compute math at an incredible pace.

They will laugh at all of your jokes, even when they aren’t funny. They understand the needs of those around them, they play with all their classmates, and they respect their parents, their teachers, and their god.

I’m headmaster at an independent school in Atlanta. Our school begins in Pre-First (Kindergarten) and ends with 12th grade. My wife and I also have five children of our own. The events in Newtown, Conn., are unimaginable to us and our entire prayer is for sympathy and healing; there is no justice in a situation like this.

It is my tradition to have lunch with the Pre-First students (they are 5 and 6). In so doing I remind myself about my vocation and come to know the boundless energy and potential of children. It is why I teach. I know more Knock-Knock jokes than any adult my age and I like it!

And I’m plagued now by this thought — who shoots 6-year-olds? Because I lead a school I’m always searching for answers, finding a new path forward, and engineering compromise. But this idea of shooting 6-year-olds doesn’t compute; I’m not in search of a motive, as it cannot possibly explain why.

When we had our first child, our family doctor gave us a good piece of advice: “Eskimo children get used to the cold.” As parents we understood that our attitudes and behaviors would shape our children. Though all five of our sons are different, they are shaped by our values and behaviors.

And so I wonder what behaviors we as parents can change. Certainly, we can improve school security. We can provide better training. We can make it harder to get a gun than to it is to get Sudafed. I don’t know all the political answers, but I’d favor anything that makes gratuitous murder more difficult.

Which brings me to my point. As parents, we need to do our best to stop our children from the desensitizing impact of video games. A quick survey of the most popular video games includes the following top 10 games: “Halo,” “Assassin’s Creed,” “Call of Duty,” “World of Warcraft,” “Grand Theft Auto.”

Each of these games, simply put, eats away at a child’s sensitivity toward killing. We have “gamified” the murder of people, and our children shoot, steal, and bomb in their virtual worlds. Like the basketball player who practices foul shots, we get better at things when we practice. Their habits become automatic, reactive, and second-nature.

Raising children is a labor of love. Working in a school is a joy. When I reflect on President Obama’s query to ask myself what we can do better as parents, educators, and communities — it seems to me that we can stop letting our children kill people over and over and over again — and call it a GAME.

If you know teenagers like I know teenagers, they will find other things to do once you take away their shooting games – perhaps they will even work on their free throws.

–from Maureen Downey, for the AJC Get Schooled blog

109 comments Add your comment

Dr. Monica Henson

January 3rd, 2013
8:24 pm

Fred, I happen to be Presbyterian. :) Our school is at nearly 1,000 enrollment as of this week, 72% of which are free & reduced lunch-eligible, more than 60% minority, and more than 16% special education–hardly the population one would expect to find in a private school, and far higher a percentage of needy population than the state average for Georgia public high schools.

Even with those demographics, our kids posted a 92% proficiency rate on the 2012 Georgia High School Writing Test–virtually equalling the state average proficiency– after being with our teachers for only three months before taking the exam. If that’s the kind of havoc we can wreak, then I say open the gates and let’s wreak away. We happen to be wreaking it at a rough average of $5,450 per student–I call that a bargain for the taxpayers, myself.

What you perceive as “snide little digs” are my effort at good-natured ribbing. Surely you can see the irony in hiding behind a pseudonym at the same time that you accuse others of ulterior motives and creating secret cabals. Lighten up!

Dr. Monica Henson

January 3rd, 2013
8:31 pm

Cobb Parent, EdisonLearning does not “own” or operate Provost Academy Georgia. We are a public high school, “owned” by the State Board of Education (via a state special charter) and operated by a nonprofit Board of Directors, none of whom is an employee or otherwise affiliated with EdisonLearning. All administrative decisions for the school are made by me, along with my fellow administrators. We are all public employees of the Board of Directors and members of the Georgia Teachers Retirement System.

Our board has a contract with EL to provide education services, most of which is “back office” support, such as human resources and purchasing. EL has a presence in more than 30 states in the U.S., most of which is in school turnaround partnership, as well as the U.K., the Middle East, and China. Just as a public school district with an elected board has contracts with providers to purchase textbooks, professional development (training), office products, machinery, etc., our public charter single-school statewide district has a contract with EL and several other providers. For example, we purchase office supplies from Office Depot, a for-profit corporation, and internet service from AT&T, another for-profit corporation.

Dr. Monica Henson

January 3rd, 2013
8:34 pm

We just received last week our materials from AdvancED/SACS for Provost Academy Georgia to begin our accreditation process, by the way. EdisonLearning holds corporate accreditation from the Northwest Accreditation Commission, a member of AdvancED, as well as the Middle States Association.

Beverly Fraud

January 4th, 2013
4:28 am

@Dr. Henson, I would hope your school would consider the Georgia Accreditation Commission, given the numerous instances of questionable ethics from SACS

Malcolm Campbell

January 5th, 2013
2:01 pm

I think my wife and I have come up with a long term solution to making our schools safer. First consider what it would cost to put armed guards in schools and how many would be required at each school. Now here’s our plan. Put bullet proof doors on every classroom (with a bullet proof window in each as required). These doors would have locks on them that require a key from the hall but open without one from the classroom. Next every classroom wall that faces the hall would be paneled with bullet proof material. All ground level outside facing windows would be bullet proof with at least one per room being of the kick out (not kick in) variety for safety reasons in case of fire or some such emergency. Of course the initial cost would be expensive, but given the life of a school would pay for itself when considering the lives protected when weighed against the cost of salaries of who knows how many armed guards per school for the number of years in a schools life. 1 guard @ $20,000/year X 5 guards X 30 years per school. Just an idea to be considered when trying to protect children.

Brian Wilson

January 8th, 2013
9:39 am

I own Atlanta Firearms Training – a company that teaches adults and teenagers to use firearms safely and effectively for self defense. As I read this article and the ensuing comments I am reminded of Chapter Seven of a book we highly recommend to our students “On Combat” by Dr. David Grossman. Insights from this chapter: In 2001 Standord conducted a study where a group of student’s had their baseline agression measured and then had their TV viewing time severely restricted over 20 weeks. Results: A 40% reduction in physical agression and a 50% reduction in verbal agression. Another interesting insight from this chapter is some facts from Dr. James McGhee, an FBI consultant who has studied school mass murderers:
*All refused to participate in any disciplined activity or sport.
*None were in varsity sports
*None had trained extensively in martial arts.
*None were in Junior ROTC.
*None of them were a competitive teenage shooter. (a sport where you are kicked out for not exercising safety discipline)
*None of them had a hunting license. (requires discipline and safety training)
*None was an avid paintball player (a sport where, if you don’t exercise safety discipline, you can get hurt)

All of these activities teach some level of agression but coupled with that, they also teach disciplined restraint. The common thread of strict protocols, expectations of certain behaviors,…..in other words, associated demanding discipline is the common thread in these activities, AND the lack of such discipline in the lives of school shooters is the common thread. In society, millions of private citizens own “assault rifles” and many of them legally own full automatic weapons. But the VAST majority – the VAST majority of these individuals will never use those weapons against others except for self defense. Why? Because they were inculcated with the sense of responsibility, attention to detail, and self-discipline by their parents and teachers. Discipline, or the lack of it, is the common thread.

Military training is designed to desensitize young recruits to killing another human being. Despite this how many ex-soliders have been involved in mass murders? On one hand military training DOES desensitize young men and women to killing BUT it also imposes strict discipline on the individuals and stricit limitations on the use of violent skills, with draconian penalities for violating those limits. Again the teaching of personal discipline and the imposition of strict limits prevents these soldiers from using their lethal skills except in cases where the use of those skills is entirely justified.

Violent video games and violent media entertainment is another method of desensitizing our children to visiting violence on others – only it DOES NOT provide the associated levels of discipline and limitations on that desensitization. There are over a thousand peer-reviewed studies including the Journal of the American Medical Association that have found a direct correlation between violence in the media and teenage violence against others. A 1972 Surgeon General’s study also correlates these findings. A final insight comes from a state sponsored Canadian school (featured in the Chapter mentioned above) for violent teens that totally cut out television and video games from a group of students. Results: A 90% reduction in violence in that group compared to other groups at the school. Yet the broadcast media bury these stories because ultimately such publicity would hurt their bottom lines.

What these results say is what Second Amendment advocates have been saying all along: Until we deal with the human – until we wake up and understand how our popular media saturates our children with violent images and role models – indoctrination that teaches them that violence is the first best option to solve problems, and until we support the imposition of strict discipline in our schools – until we support the teachers and principles advocating strict student discipline in our classrooms, we will continue to see Columbines, we will continue to see Auroras, we will continue to see Sandy Hooks.

[...] #3: Newtown shooting demands we consider our “call of duty” as parents (1/2/13) by Maureen Downey Atlanta [...]

[...] We have discussed the issue here on the blog in response to a piece by the headmaster of Pace. [...]

Debbie

January 18th, 2013
11:41 am

Dad says no violent games I am sure for a reosan. I hate to say that it could be your attitude right now. I am a parent and we tend to take away our kids favorite things, like violent games if they seem to be acting out. How ever it is your dads decision what you play unless you are 18 or on your own. so I have some suggestions that aren’t child games like some I have seen listed. And I am a gamer myself, I could care less what people think of a Mom who plays her 360 as often as she likes. How about Guitar hero any of them, Rock band. You don’t like sports but you like to be challenged. Tomb Raider the newest one, Not violent at all unless your dad doesn’t want you to kill a beast in a cave. which would be stupid. Shaun White snow boarding. Scene it. You know there are just so many war type games where killing another person, EVEN if they are computer generated, makes you less sensitive to the value of life. Its is the way it is. And yes Gears of war one and two are both Violent, duh, all you do it kill the enemy. What is so sweet and sensitive about that? I suppose since dad buys that games, and dad has the say so, you are going to have to look for something else. Parent try to teach respect to their kids. and to hear things like, do what you want how will he know, or ignore him, well that will get you farther from your goals.Was this answer helpful?