Is the cat out of the bag? Are parents losing perspective when our kids do wrong?

Just another teacher

May 2nd, 2012
9:27 am

The mother should apologize to Mr. Baughcum and offer to buy him dinner for his trouble.

Honestly? It’s the same thing that teachers have to put up with on a daily basis. Kids are behaving poorly and it’s the teacher who gets reprimanded.

carlosgvv

May 2nd, 2012
9:29 am

When I was in school, an out of control student would be hauled to the principal’s office and a paddling would be administered.

Nowadays, trial lawyers swarm like locusts and if you even look at someone wrong, you get sued.

You get what you pay for.

Mustang100

May 2nd, 2012
9:34 am

Momma would need the cops alright, but only because she was scared poopless of me. GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

usually lurking

May 2nd, 2012
9:37 am

If she was having trouble controlling her snowflake, she should have left the vet and come back another time. Good grief, what if the child had been taunting a large dog and gotten bitten? A swat on the rear would have been the least of their problems.

dood

May 2nd, 2012
9:38 am

Maybe the guy can press charges against the mother for animal cruelty. The boy attacked a sick pet fresh out of surgery.

William Casey

May 2nd, 2012
9:43 am

The mother who pressed charges is a fool and will surely be “rewarded” for her foolishness down the road.

catlady

May 2nd, 2012
9:44 am

I agree with dood. Think what this kid must be allowed to do to his own pet!

As the pet owner, I would have asked the clinic staff, loudly, toput my animal’s cage behind the desks so the little devil could not get at her.

But, Ms. Dwoney, this is par for the course.

catlady

May 2nd, 2012
9:46 am

And, Ms. Dwoney, the attitude now is, “I was not there but I say my kid did not do what you saw him do, and even if he did, you should not have handled it the way you did because it was someone else’s fault!”

Rob

May 2nd, 2012
9:49 am

I am in a state of confusion how author cannot be in favor of another, non-relative, adult striking someone’s child but not be in favor of “capital” punishment.

I can tell you as a teacher that I despise parents who do not address the situation and the problem. The problem being what their child did wrong and not that the teacher executed school policy. However it is also the duty of a parent to disciple and protect their child. No one should ever lay a hand on another person’s child in any situation. The man could have reacted by picking up and moving his cat. Granted, the mother should have addressed the situation the first time the child was told no. Both adults are at fault here.

Dennis

May 2nd, 2012
9:51 am

What a waste of police time when they need to be looking for the real criminals!! The Mother of this child should be sent to Prison for Child Abuse!!!

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
9:54 am

Catlady:

Exactly. This is prevalent in the special needs parents to a ridiculous degree. Some kids aren’t capable, but many higher-functioning ones could live more independent lives if they actually suffered some consequences and some type of discipline was enforced.

Ms. Downey:

I think you would see the opposite trend among current inmates in the system regarding corporal punishment. We have gotten so Dr. Spock on kids in the last 20-30 years that it’s a bit ridiculous.

Thomas

May 2nd, 2012
9:58 am

It amazed me from story even though woman admitted having problems with her out of control 4 year old she did nothing to stop it. The cat owner repeatedly told the child to stop yet again parent did nothing. It is unfortunate she did not leave child in car .. then the staff could have reported her for child cruelty and she could now be the one in jail facing charges.

Melaine

May 2nd, 2012
10:01 am

Dear Mom, You have just announced to the world that your child will be protected from the world for his own wrong doing no matter what he does. This is a warning for his future teachers, the juvenile system and the parents of children that he will interact with. I am so tired of seeing parents that have no control over their children. No matter how you teach them, children need to learn very early in life the consequences of their actions. Unfortunately, this child has already learned.

Cat Handler

May 2nd, 2012
10:02 am

If it had been my cat this little brat had tried to play with, he would have pulled back a bloody stub and it would have served him right.

Cats Rule

May 2nd, 2012
10:05 am

This 4-yr old will soon be the troubled teen and then the adult who ends up in jail. WAKE UP, MOM!
I think the guy had a reflex reaction to protect his vulnerable cat, fresh out of surgery, not unlike a parent might have to protect his/her child. He was WRONG to touch the child but there was no malice. This Mom is incompetent. This poor guy went to jail for doing HER job. If I’d been in his shoes, I would’ve had the same reaction he did. My husband says he should’ve swatted the Mom! How’s that for perspective?!

Hey Teacher

May 2nd, 2012
10:06 am

The cell phone issue in high school is HUGE. Cell phones are not allowed to be on from 8-3 but enforcing that is a monster issue. I sent an E mail to a parent just yesterday about her son’s use of his phone and her response was that *I* needed to do a better job enforcing the rules because according to her son I was “picking on him” and not asking other students to put their phones away. What happened to “thank you Mrs. So and So — we will handle this at home” ? I rarely get that response anymore which is why I dread contacting parents — so many of them are combative.

fancy87

May 2nd, 2012
10:10 am

Bottom line: we’re surrounded by a lot of morons “raising” kids.

Anita

May 2nd, 2012
10:12 am

This story is exactly what is wrong with the children today. The mother should have made her child leave the cat alone. What if the cat had attacked the child. This mom has some nerve pressing charges. The man should press charges against the mother for having an out of control child. I would have pinch the kid when the mother wasn’t looking. LOL

Deborah Lane

May 2nd, 2012
10:14 am

If that mother cannot control her 4 year old son now, what does she think she is going to do when he reaches 10, 14 or 16? The man was protecting his sick cat from the boy. The mother was not protecting her son from the cat. I bet if the cat at bitten him or scratched him she would be sueing the man for abuse. If she cannot control him now, she is in for a rough ride in the years to come. She just might want to take his approach.

SBinF

May 2nd, 2012
10:17 am

It’s silly that this woman is pressing charges. However, you should never ever hit someone else’s kid.

gadem

May 2nd, 2012
10:18 am

wow…really?! What was the mother doing? Sitting there looking at the little brat run around terrorizing people. There is a 50/50 chance that when the child gets to be an adult that someone will do worse than swat him on the bottom…

Shar

May 2nd, 2012
10:18 am

@Rob, I agree. Both adults behaved stupidly and selfishly. One couldn’t be bothered to exert the control that was her responsibility and the other decided to take on that responsibility instead of sticking to his own and moving his cat. If arrest is appropriate for one, I really don’t think that the other should get off without a harassment or negligence charge.

Of course, the real loser here is the child, who at four is rude and on his way to being unmanageable.

Frank

May 2nd, 2012
10:19 am

Good for him! My mother would have jerked a knot in my behind for misbehaving in public and this broad should have taken control of her kid the second Mr. Baughcum asked him to stop bothering the cat.

Not everyone wants to help discipline your precious snowflake, folks!

TimeOut

May 2nd, 2012
10:22 am

The mother should apologize to Mr. Baughcum and offer to buy him dinner for his trouble.

“Honestly? It’s the same thing that teachers have to put up with on a daily basis. Kids are behaving poorly and it’s the teacher who gets reprimanded.”

This blogger is stating what so many people are feeling. This is not a new problem. There have always been people who feel that their rights supercede all others’ rights. They do not have to respect boundaries. They do not have to tolerate rebuff, reprimand, or any type of complaint from those whose rights they’ve violated. I think that it is time to open a national dialogue on civility. I don’t mean George Bush’s ‘kinder, gentler nation.” I want to see a conversation about how parents should behave toward others when their chldren violate others’ rights. The focus on their rights, their children’s rights, with no concern for the rights of others, is a sickening part of our society.

Brad

May 2nd, 2012
10:27 am

The parent overreacted and now a man protecting his pet will have to endure humility, disgrace, and ridicule for trying to correct a child’s behavior. Kids learn through cause and effect, action and reaction. Physical punishment worked on me and many other kids thoughout history. Parents should explain to their children why certain behavior is wrong before applying the appropriate punishment, physical or other. This teaches them what behavior is and isn’t acceptable while also teaching them what reactions and effects can reasonably be expected. The pain endured during physical punishment or embarassment of public scolding serves as a marker for memory recall during a person’s life.

splendid splinter

May 2nd, 2012
10:28 am

We are living in an upside down world. People can be beaten in the streets by gangs of thugs and the police do nothing about it. A 4-year old receives a slight tap on the rump and the man protecting his animal is arrested. We have gone way too far with the idea of what assault is. I received many ‘whippings’ 50+ years ago and my esteem was not harmed nor was I physically harmed. Moreover, I learned from those lessons. What are these children learning now?

Really amazed

May 2nd, 2012
10:32 am

Doesn’t shock me at all!!! Not my little Johnny/Susie!!!!

hellinahandbasket

May 2nd, 2012
10:33 am

first she should be charged with not controlling her child in public, second she should be charged with being an idiot parent. yeah the guy maybe shouldn’t have swatted the kid as any cop will tell you that is considered assault, yeah i know stupid but its the law and he probably should have stood up and held the crate up or asked the staff for help. but even though the woman was ticked at the ’swat’ she shouldn’t have called the cops on the guy, it was her non-actions and the bratty actions of her 4 yr old that start all the trouble the guy was just sitting there waiting. she should drop the charges.

a real parent

May 2nd, 2012
10:34 am

What a horrible mother and horrible child. Can someone find out what this woman’s name is and provide it here so we as a community can run her out of town.

Pardon My Blog

May 2nd, 2012
10:34 am

I can’t believe this actually happened. If the cat had bitten the child, the cat owner would have been sued and the animal taken away and probably put down. Parents need to be protective but also their children need to learn the consequences of their actions.

bu2

May 2nd, 2012
10:40 am

I’m amazed people are ok with someone striking, even if mildly, someone else’s kid. That is TOTALLY out of line. Arresting him is a little excessive, but he was flat out wrong. If he had moved the animal, or in necessary, moved the child and interposed himself between the child and cat that would be one thing. Hitting the mom would have been less out of line than striking someone else’s child.

Ashley

May 2nd, 2012
10:43 am

If the cat had of somehow scratch or bitten the child, the scenario would have been different. So we are suppose to believe this woman couldn’t keep her child from the cat. A firm hand from the mother would’ve been appropriate. This mother obviously thinks her child should be able to do what he wants…bad mistake. This man was trying to protect his pet who had just had surgery and probably was a little apprehensive and really didn’t need the clamor of this child. This child needs to meet some of the mothers and grandmothers from my generation…..little swat would have become a blistered bottom. Of course we were taught to behave in the presence of company and around other adults. Something that is missing in todays little angels(sic).

Pro Choice

May 2nd, 2012
10:44 am

This would be good argument to support aborton and removal of the ovaries…

say what?

May 2nd, 2012
10:45 am

Hey Teacher @ 10:06 if you came to Morrow HS in Clayton county and taught 10th grade honors classes or Latin beginning in August; the response you want is what you would get from me and my husband! We support our children’s teachers, it started with our adult children and will end in 2019 with our youngest. Then I guess we will support teachers of our grandchildren.

You teachers do an awesome job and need that support.

Mother of a special needs autistic child

May 2nd, 2012
10:49 am

By no means should another American citizen spank, swat, hit another American citizen. So, moving the childs hands wasnt a choice? or how about moving the cat? Dear journalist, your personal opinion is encouraging illegal thoughts by those who do not read any other documents. Please keep your opinion to yourself. By the by, I havent read anything from people who are having challenges with children of their own. Are you only publishing the comments that agree with yours? The man is supposed to be an adult, if the child cant touch, then where is our American law says that he can. Once again, I am saddened by the responses of American citizens, are we not aware of the ten year old war, the starving and homeless here in American which is the richest country in the world. But yet you are so emotional over a 4 year old, to which the adult should have, could have moved the cat. WWJD? Blessings to you all.

Jane

May 2nd, 2012
10:50 am

The man did the correct thing. The cat could have really hurt the child! My own cat scratched me Sunday and it is already infected. The parent should have controlled her child to keep him away from the other animals. Chances are if the animal is at a vet’s office it is sick even for a well check-up they are very nervous. A sick, scared and nervous animal is very hard to control. The cat could have scared that child for life!! I am a mother of 3 adult children and 4 grandchildren. I would prefer any of my family get a swat on the bottom rather than a cat bite or scratch!! When are we going to start holding parents responsible for their children’s actions. The parent should have been arrested also!!

suga

May 2nd, 2012
10:57 am

Children are so out of control today, Parents are out of control as well,I have seen so many mother’s acting a fool because of what there bad Kids tell them, So many Parents are best friends with thier kids and not teaching them right from wrong. So many kids don’t even RESPECT THEIR Parents, so how will they respect others. That mom should have told that lil boy to stop and leave that cat a long,I really think the man had a reaction, but she called the police. She can’t control that little boy!!!!!!!! HE’S GOING TO KNOCK HER BUTT AROUND IN A COUPLE OF YEARS, WONDER IF SHE’S GOING TO CALL THE POLICE THEN!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Teacher

May 2nd, 2012
11:00 am

@ say what? — thanks for being supportive! We need more parents that don’t view teachers and the school system as the enemy.

Jessica

May 2nd, 2012
11:01 am

I am not opposed to corporal punishment (which is NOT the same thing as beating), but it’s obviously a bad idea to swat someone else’s kid.
That said, I’m not sure what else the pet owner could have done. Was he supposed to just sit there and let the kid injure his cat?

Horrible

May 2nd, 2012
11:01 am

I bet a nickel that
1) Momma is a “single parent”, and
2) Little snookiekins runs the show at home as well.

As they are wont to do, the guys at “South Park” nailed this one cold:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsst
(also southparkstudios.com will show the full episode)

APS Parent

May 2nd, 2012
11:06 am

When I was growing up, everybody raised us because my mom and dad knew the neighbors, the teachers, the grocery store clerks, etc… It took the village but the village of people taught us to be respectful and encouraged us to do more than they did through education and serving. Now, it seems that children are raising adults. And, they are not learning any moral values because the adults don’t want to crush their spirits. I am amazed at how the ‘precious little ones’ never does wrong. And, how offended parents become when they are corrected.

This is why teachers are being forced to parent, teach and then being held accountable for everything. Teachers should have to discipline your child. They can’t run a classroom without you, parents, enforcing the value of respecting rules and others and an education. Stop listening to your child and actually sit in the room with him and the teacher. This will be your deer in headlights moment if you are a good parent.

Neither should anyone outside of your home have to discipline your child. But, when your precious little one does not understand the meaning of ‘NO’, STOP or ‘Break laws or rules’, then either you or he needs to be disciplined. Stop blaming others for the mistakes you are making by being a bad parent and letting your child look to others as role models. I feel sorry for us, society/community, because we are going to have to pay for the entittled, ill-mannered, poorly focused children being raised. Talk about unethical leaders of the future.

mystery poster

May 2nd, 2012
11:08 am

When my daughter was in the hospital having her appendix out, there was a man there with cat scratch fever (yes, it is a real thing). His arm was badly swollen, he had been in the hospital for a number of days. What if little snowflake had gotten that?

Off topic, this reminds me of when the stone mountain man was arrested for slapping the kid in walmart. I remember at the time he was being held without bond while there were murderers out with ankle bracelets. Not that I condone hitting others’ children, but let’s keep things in perspective.

Several years ago there was a kid at my childrens’ daycare who was misbehaving so badly at the dentist’s office that they told him never to come back again.

Hillbilly D

May 2nd, 2012
11:09 am

Fear is a powerful motivator and kids today have no fear. In many cases, they run the household and not their parents. Some chores and the occasional fanny busting would cure a lot of what ails today’s kids.

Entitlement Society

May 2nd, 2012
11:15 am

It’s not like the man walked up out of the blue and hit the child. He was swatting the child away from his sick cat after the child failed to follow simple directions to get away from the cat. A 4-year old should know better. My children certainly knew better at age 4. This mother is a failure. Why was she not disciplining and watching her own child? Too bad you can’t arrest a woman (or man) for abysmal parenting! The mother even admitted to the offer that she was having trouble controlling her own son. Why didn’t she remove him from public? As a parent, in the rare case my child misbehaved and didn’t change his attitude, I promptly took him outside so not as to disturb others. She certainly wins “Loser Mother of the Year” award!

APS Parent

May 2nd, 2012
11:17 am

@ Horrible. I know moms and dads that are the worst offenders of their precious little one. Especially if this is an only child or children of career driven older parents. And, they are successful, educated parents. This has nothing to do with single or married. It has to do with the moral values parents teach their kids and discipline – like in your south park example. If parents are slackers and feed into their childrens entittlement then the children are usually very agressive to them and others.

Beverly Fraud

May 2nd, 2012
11:24 am

Get PETA involved, arrest the parent for animal abuse for knowingly putting her child into a situation where the cat can be harmed.

Fletch

May 2nd, 2012
11:29 am

Absolutely pathetic!!! Can’t imagine what will happen when the little darling grows up and gets a job. What’s he going to do the first time he gets dressed down by his boss, call mommy and have the police intervene? I hate to break it to all the breeders and their offspring, but the world is a cold, ruthless place. Better learn how to deal with it, or be prepared to have 5 generations living together under one roof for fear of the outside world.

Beverly Fraud

May 2nd, 2012
11:29 am

But yet you are so emotional over a 4 year old, to which the adult should have, could have moved the cat. WWJD?

As best I recall, even Jesus opened up a can of whup@ss on the moneychangers in the temple.

Horrible

May 2nd, 2012
11:31 am

@APS Parent,
“This has nothing to do with single or married” – sure, mom, you keep telling yourself that.

I’m sure a diligent search of literature wouldn’t turn up ANY negative information showing a positive correlation between single parenting and educational achievement, drug & alcohol abuse, criminal activity, or premature sexual activity. None, nada, squat, zilch.

Matt

May 2nd, 2012
11:32 am

The cat owner shouldn’t have spanked the child but really it is the mother’s fault for allowing her child to “repeatedly” bother the cat! She should have disciplined her child and defused the situation rather that playing with her iPhone or whatever she was doing! Really my 2 year old sounds better behaved than this 4 year old and I wouldn’t have to spank him to get him to stop misbehaving. The man should not have spanked the child but the mother should not have even allowed that situation to escalate.

bu2

May 2nd, 2012
11:32 am

@APS parent
A stranger should never discipline someone else’s child. If this child was drumming on a seat in the vets office and annoying everyone, the proper response is either to ask the parent to get the child to stop or politely ask the child to stop. If you see a child messing with a display in a retail store in a way that doesn’t harm them, its none of your business to correct the child.

With the cat, the proper response was to move the cat or remove the child’s hands, not to discipline him. In America, people have no right to impose their values and judgements and choices of family discipline on others. Those who want to seem to be lacking the discipline of politeness, something that has declined far more during my lifetime than self-discipline of children. And the negative impacts of the loss of politeness are reflected every day in the politics of governing our nation, states, cities and most especially, schools.

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
11:37 am

APS Parent:

At 31, I still remember those days. I dare not misbehave in public or in my neighborhood b/c there would be heck to pay. Adults were given respect because they were adults, and you toed the line b/c you knew better.

I’ve been criticized for raising my children old school. But when they go places, people almost always comment on ho well-behaved they are. They didn’t get that way from Dr. Spock or worrying about ‘crushing their spirits’.

Another Math Teacher

May 2nd, 2012
11:37 am

Maureen Downey: “There is hardly a child in juvenile lockup who was not raised by the belt, cord or switch.”

[Citation needed]

Mom of an autistic teenager and a 4year old

May 2nd, 2012
11:37 am

This parent is failing at her job to raise a child. No excuse for a child to torment a sick animal. The article mentions that the man shouted NO and yet she couldn’t control her child. He didn’t hurt the child or punch the mom. He swatted the behind of an out of control child that was being cruel to another living creature.

I would hope my 4 year old wouldn’t behave this way but if she did I don’t see a problem with the man teaching her a lesson with a swat on the butt. I have had issues with my autistic teen and I wouldn’t care if some one tried to spank him or more likely put him in a headlock since he is 5′10″ 135lbs. The problem is he wouldn’t understand the physical action was from misbehavior- he just doesn’t get cause and effect. BUT, I know better then to leave him unattended in the company of strangers and I certainly wouldn’t allow him to touch any thing or person without my yelling at him and apologizing for his action. This is all on the parent.

And for the love of time of life – who wasted the police and court systems time on calling 911 and pressing charges. This parent and her snowflake need to get a life.

Snafu

May 2nd, 2012
11:40 am

The most striking part of the story is the woman admitting she could not control her little brat. When Baughcum told the child not to touch the cage the mother should have intervened at that point and not waited until it escalated to the point of the man having to tap that child’s backside. Since the mother admitted she had absolutely NO CONTROL over her spoiled little brat the Baughcum gets arrested for what she should have done at home. The child is 4 years old and it goes to show that the parent did not and has not shown any responsibility in discipling that child.

The most pathetic thing is we have parents who fail miserably in discipling their children that when they do act in public or school the parents are quick to place blame on others. You hear it and see it in the stores, resturants, etc. We understand when children get a little cranky, no problem but the parents need to take action and stop pretending its alright to disturb others.

NCR

May 2nd, 2012
11:41 am

1st, the guy shouldn’t touch somebody else’s kid, especially a little boy. PERIOD.
2nd, He should have asked the mother to immediately control the kid and prevent touching the cat. If that didn’t work, he should have asked the staff.
3rd, if that didn’t work, he should threaten the mother will an animal cruelty lawsuit, that would get her up off her a** and help resolve the situation.
At the end of the day, it’s the MOTHER’S RESPONSIBILITY to control her kid. If she can’t do it, then she needs to PAY. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
11:41 am

bu2:

That’s a perfectly fine description. But can we stop these same dunces from wanting to file a lawsuit when their kid is hurt or maimed? I believe people can raise their children however they like as long as they deal with the outcome of those decisions. But far too often the general public is the only truly harmed party in much of it.

I’m not being facetious at all, I’m being serious. If the cat had scratched the kid, then what? What if the man has special needs and this is his only real companion? Does that change anything?

Frankie

May 2nd, 2012
11:45 am

maybe I am missing the obvious, where was the mother…Yes the man should not have struck but simply grabbed the boy and said to the mother WILL YOU CONTROL YOUR SON…..
THiss hould not have resulted in an arrest of anyone let alone the pet owner…..
THe mothr needs to pay him his bail money back and get some help for her son….

Snafu

May 2nd, 2012
11:45 am

Here is another thing, what if the cat would have bit or scratched the child? Would he be responsible for that too? I have seen parents discipline their children or leave but there are many who feel that having a misbehaved, spoiled, tamper tantrum throwing child is not their fault. Of course, when the parent opens their mouth you can see why the child acts a certain way. I say spank the little brat for its not cute.

GFY

May 2nd, 2012
11:48 am

Couldn’t control the child or did not want to have to do the tough part and actually control the child. If she could not control the child then DFACS should come relieve her of her responsibilities. What a useless parent.

Frankie

May 2nd, 2012
11:49 am

ANd when I say grabed I mean i a fashion so that he does not touch the cage. grab his wrist and say do not touch the cage….

Frankie

May 2nd, 2012
11:53 am

I have seen too many parents in the store allowing there children to roam about causing mischief….
I had to say to two kids the other day..where are your parents and you need to be with them..then i found a store employee, explained the situation and asked thenm to make sure they got back to their parents.
THe crazy part about the whole thing was wheni finished shopping, the kids were out side running around, i assume, there car anda parent was inside the car…
I made eye contact with the person inside the car and just shook my head in disgust….

Rob

May 2nd, 2012
12:01 pm

@ Maureen Downey,

Look…if that was my kid and someone physically disciplined him/her other than me or without my permission, being arrested would be that person’s blessing after I demonstrated what it means to be physically corrected.

Frankie

May 2nd, 2012
12:10 pm

@delusional mother….why should the man and his pet have to move anywhere…the mother should have grabbed HER SON and desolved the whole situation…the boy grabbed the cat more than once…and what would you have the man do if he did move and the boy simply moved with him…is he supposed to leave because a parent can not control her CHILD…
You are right in tha fact that the man was the adult and he was protecting his property….PERIOD…
Put the blame where it shuold go to the PARENT…….

Snafu

May 2nd, 2012
12:16 pm

@bu2..why would the man have to move? If Baughcum told the child to stop it was the MOTHER’s responsibility at that point to keep her child with HER! How many times does someone have to say stop to a child and th parents look the other way? The MOTHER is just at much at fault as Baughcum tapping the child’s behind. So two wrongs don’t make it right!

And you say no one else should discipline your child well that is the attitude that most parents who have no control over their child would say, if they grow up thinking they can do they please the police will discipline them, the courts will punish them, if they go to school the teacher will discipline them, now what? The MOTHER was in the presence of the child and she failed to discipline HER child, period!

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
12:20 pm

“STRIKING A CHILD!!! HITTING! BEATING!” Inaccurate and hysterical language of the Child-Worshippers. I don’t worship them, so keep your kids in line around smaller, weaker creatures or I will.

The man swatted the boy on the butt because Mommie (I wonder does she still nurse the brat?) was prob on her cell phone, or smiling weakly while watching the brat try to pull the cage off the chair, or some other response that showed she has no clue. She couldn’t be bothered moving own butt to do anything until Snowflake got (less than) what was coming to him.

I had a similar thing happen at the emergency vet a few years ago but at the time it was still sufficient to say to the kid, “Get away from the cage and leave my sick cat alone.” Yep, mommy and daddy were right there but they had the sense to be embarrassed. Years later at the vet’s, a silly, giggling woman whose main priority was to draw any and all attention to herself was allowing her dog to crowd me and my cat cage. I turned around and said loudly, “Please keep your dog away from my cat,” and she giggled, “I’m TRYING!” I replied, “No, you’re not trying. YOU keep the dog away or I will.” More tee-heeing but at least she pulled back. I guarantee you Miss Eyes-On-Me never got a much-needed swat years ago, but I don’t let her stupidity become my cat’s problem.

This kid will be one with no compassion or common sense. What do you want to bet there’s no father at home?

mountain man

May 2nd, 2012
12:29 pm

The MOTHER here deserved a good spanking (along with her child). I hope they throw this case out and investigate the mother for child neglect.

And Maureen, if you did some research, you might find out that those in prison never received proper discipline – beatings, yes, maybe, but not a well-placed spanking immediately and consistently applied. On the other hand, you will probably find that most corporate CEO and otherwise good citizens can point back, like I can, to their own upbringing, where the “switch” was judiciously applied (along with “standing in the corner”.

NotSam

May 2nd, 2012
12:31 pm

It doesn’t matter where you go, a high percentage of parents are lacking in basic parenting skills. There’s fenced in yards for dogs in my neighborhood, but the children (5-8) are left to play in the road unattended. Any store you go in has kids without parents near (remember the attempted kidnapping in WalMart several months back?). Restaurants have holy terrors disturbing other customers. This mother should have paid attention to her child, should have monitored him, sat him next to her, or removed him. Instead she let him run around and do as he pleased. Others are right, if he’d been injured it would have been the man’s fault. Yet, the man finally got pushed too far and tries to minimize the impact (although I would have chosen a vocal approach!) and he goes to jail. He stepped over the line, but the mother was immensely more at fault.

da bear

May 2nd, 2012
12:33 pm

If you watched teh news report, he is a monster. He “attacked” the Innocent child. His “assault” on the child was noted, no mention AT ALL of the uncontrollability of the child.

Channel five should be arrested for slanting the news, not simply reporting it.

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
12:33 pm

And I agree entirely with the poster who said Non-Mommy’s name should be published too. The fact that it wasn’t says loud and clear that her actions were stupid and uncalled-for.

mathmom

May 2nd, 2012
12:34 pm

Perhaps the gentleman was not physically able to lift and move the pet carrier – especially if this was a large cat – not everyone can just pick those things up.

DebbieDoRight

May 2nd, 2012
12:38 pm

Wow! I don’t have children but I do have neices, nephews and stepchildren. When they were little, before we went anywhere, i’d scare the beejesus outta them by telling them if they acted up in public all kinds of hell would happen to them, (by me), later.

When they started to act up, all I’d have to do was LOOK at them, and they’d subside.

I don’t blame the child for his actions, i blame his lazy mother. Discipline and the respect for rules and learning the mores of the society is the PARENT’s responsibility.

she chose to advocate her role and then wanted to holler “foul!” when someone else taught the child a lesson the parent should’ve taught him.

Father of Children Similiar to One in Story

May 2nd, 2012
12:38 pm

If any of you touched my kids without first consenting with me it was okay I would beat you into next week. I would then handle whatever problem you thought deserved physical contact, but that is a parent decision not some wussy cat owner’s.

Just another teacher

May 2nd, 2012
12:43 pm

@ Maureen Is there any form of fund being set up for Mr Baughcum’s legal defense? If not, would you mind do it? I’ll contribute.

I’m getting out of teaching this year due to students being allowed to do anything they want. I had a parent complain about me recently because I dared take up their precious child’s rubber bands that they were using to shoot spitballs across my room. Apparently, I made their child feel bad and the parent felt I needed to apologize to them.

It’s the same d***ed thing. I’m over it. I hate leaving a career that I was proud of for over 20 years, but I’m not proud of it anymore. I just feel sorry for any other teacher that is still putting up with this garbage.

DJ Sniper

May 2nd, 2012
12:43 pm

I’m in agreement with everybody else on this one. My mother recently retired after 40 years of teaching, and in her last few years, this is the type of nonsense she had to deal with. Far too many parents out here seem to have this idea that their children can do no wrong and that everybody else is the problem.

I wish I had the financial means to get this guy a kick-a** attorney to get these charges dismissed.

mountain man

May 2nd, 2012
12:44 pm

Father of Children Similiar to One in Story – So you just let your children run wild and then threaten anyone who objects to your neglect – you are one sick puppy and do not deserve to have custody of your children.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
12:45 pm

Nobody should be swatting somebody else’s child. Period. End of Story. And corporal punishment is still going on in Georgia Schools.. 11 alive recently did an investigative report – over 21,000 incidents reported in 1 school year. It is innapropriate!..How about moving the cat to where it wasn’t in reach?

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
12:46 pm

Here is the link! http://www.11alive.com/news/article/226264/3/Pain-as-punishment-Legal-in-Ga-schools

DebbieDoRight

May 2nd, 2012
12:49 pm

If you see a child messing with a display in a retail store in a way that doesn’t harm them, its none of your business to correct the child.

i think that’s why we have the problems we do today. whatever happened to the nosey neighbor who told on all the neighborhood kids? you were afraid to do anything around her because you knew she’d run back and tell your folks.

what happened to grandma stepping in and helping her kids’ kids? grandma’s these days don’t want to be bothered. they’re too busy trying to “bring sexy back” to care about anything else.

earl

May 2nd, 2012
12:50 pm

when you have kids you have to raise them correctly. its a pity & a shame how the kids are running the whole show. they should respect the word no this pampering needs to stop or society is going 2 deal with it. that arrest should not have happened.

bu2

May 2nd, 2012
12:50 pm

Rob-LOL. Yes, I share that feeling. What I did later with the child would be my business.
Those who want to discipline other’s children should realize the most dangerous call for police is domestic disputes. Police are more at risk of being killed answering those calls than anything else.

Tonya C-you’ve got nanny state lawmakers that want to interpose themselves in our choices about raising our children and also allowing people to sue for things that are their own fault. We need to have fewer tort lawyers in the legislature. Being able to sue for nonsenical reasons is a different issue. Juries are generally pretty reasonable, but sometimes you wonder how they ever found liability.

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
12:53 pm

bu2: “In America, people have no right to impose their values and judgements and choices of family discipline on others. ”

Unless you’re a Mommy, then your rights trump all others. “Choices” of family discipline, yeah, right…..”Darling, have you CHOSEN to stop bothering that man’s cat, or not yet?”

Lilburn Lady

May 2nd, 2012
12:53 pm

This is less about any harm to the child and more about Mommy’s embarrassment at having another adult have to control her child because she obviously cannot. Every parent wants to think that they are a good parent, just like every driver thinks they are a good driver. Then, the accident happens and somehow it’s someone else’s fault. Mommy was humiliated in a public place by her child’s out of control behavior, so she is going to make it someone else’s fault.

I imagine this 4-year-old will end up not only abusing his own pets, but probably lashing out physically at Mommy when he is older. If you don’t make your child aware of who is the dominant person in the parent-child relationship at a very early age (I’m talking toddler), then by the time they are 11 or 12, your window of opportunity to have some measure of respectful behavior from that child later on in life, has closed. I see way too much of this “child-centered” method of child-rearing. It ends up with a young adult who has way too much self-esteem, thinks he/she should be the center of the universe and has no coping skills to deal with reality once they are out in the world.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
12:53 pm

A couple of weeks ago – The ABC show called What Would You Do – aired a segment on Autism. A child was portrayed as having autism and demonstrating behaviors that were unacceptable norms in a restaurant establishment. I loved watching all the ignorance and stupid comments made by many people toward the parents — It’s almost identical to the comments on the AJC blogs when something comes up about a child that acts out. You don’t know where that child is coming from – whether the child has a disability, may be hungry , maybe abused or neglected at home! You don’t swat the child, you don’t take it out on the child. You deal with it! You act like an adult….unlike so many who comment constantly on these blogs — who want to throw daggers and attack the child or attack the mom.. FOR ALL you know the Mother is overwhelmed too, might be an abusive relationship too. You just don’t know.. STOP PASSING JUDGMENT and do the sensible thing as an outside adult. This person should have and could have moved the kitty cat, or even employed the staff to give him a hand…because it was obvious he wasn’t getting help from the mom!

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
1:01 pm

bu2:

Fair enough. I agree then.

But using the legal system even when you’re wrong as all get out is not unusual. Personal rights seems to have trumped the greater good—even when the personal right is wrong. Some examples: I have a pool, but your child jumps my fence and drowns? I get sued. A child runs amuck in a store and injures themself? The store is sued. A teacher or administrator attempts to protect themselves or other students from an out-of control child? Protest and/or lawsuit.

The reactions of many on this blog isn’t from bad people. It’s from many who are tired of the lack of civility, responsibility, and common sense. No one WANTS to discipline any one else’s child. We all have our hands full with our own issues. But all too often when we tell people, especially when it comes to education, that they can’t just care about their own kids, what kind of mixed message are we sending?

DJ Sniper

May 2nd, 2012
1:02 pm

GAmom, stop acting like we’re all bad guys here. You know good and well that there are plenty of out of control kids out here whose parents s**t bricks when someone else steps in to correct bad behavior.

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
1:04 pm

Father of Children Similar = bully raising bullies.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
1:08 pm

DJ – — WHAT IS YOUR POINT? Yeah, I’ve seen bad behavior, I’ve raised kids, and I will say it again…you all want to pass judgment on the mother and the kid.. THAT IS WRONG, that is what is wrong with our society.. You all would do this or do that, and you are holier than thou..as if your kids have never done wrong, or you’re way of raising children is better than everyone else’s. I’m calling you on it. You have no idea what the mother’s life is like, or the child’s, you don’t know if the kid may have a behavior disorder or autism, YOU Have no idea! There is never a reason for someone to hit, slap, spank, beat, touch in any way another adults’ child. PERIOD. Get over it! I would have pressed charges too, yes I would have

bu2

May 2nd, 2012
1:12 pm

@Snafu
He should move because he is trying to solve the problem in a polite way. If you get mad because you are right, you have situations like Martin/Zimmerman where both thought they were right and one got killed.

@Debbie-That’s right. Its none of your business. You don’t know the child. Maybe you can help the store by telling management. But you aren’t the neighbor or relative. Do right with your own family, not your version of right with others. And I don’t even want my relatives disciplining my children in a manner that is inconsistent with the way we do it.

Mountain Man

May 2nd, 2012
1:16 pm

They posted a picture of the man in this case – I would like to see a picture of the mom.

I think that this child will grow up to be a discipline problem in school, hopefully removed to an alternative school, will probably quit school and will most likely end up in jail. This mom is NOT doing her child any favors by taking sides against the man. She should have marched over, took her child firmly in hand, apologized for what her child had done, and then said “I will handle his discipline from now on”. Unfortunately, the man had very few options – move the cat? To where, where could this 4-year old not reach it? Give the cat back to the receptionist until he was ready to leave? Why did the receptionist at the vet not call down the mother of the 4-year old and if she did not control him, ask her to leave, and if she refused, call the police on her? She was allowing her son to be exposed to all sorts of dangers from other people’s pets – dog bites, cat scratches. That is why she should be investigated for child neglect.

catlady

May 2nd, 2012
1:19 pm

@Ms. Downety at 12:50. Correlation is not causation. Serving coffee does not cause air turbulance. Ie kids who behave violently tend to be punished violently. No way to say the reports of being mistreated are true, but even if they are, no telling if the punishments were extreme because the behavior was so extreme.

Perhaps the man shoould sue the woman for the additional injury and trauma her son caused the cat. $1000 should cover it.

Mountain Man

May 2nd, 2012
1:21 pm

“The recidivist male delinquent who has never been exposed to the belt, extension cord or fist at some time in his life is virtually non-existent.”

Again, Maureen, you are confusing abuse with corporal punishment. A fist? There is a lot of difference between a beating with a fist and a spanking with an open hand on the backside (or even a “switch” for that matter”). You are also mistakenly addressing corporal punishment as a cause of delinquincy. If it were truly a cause, than all of us who had been spanked would now be delinquent and criminals – and 90% of us are not.

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
1:24 pm

I will say this…this is why so many people are fighting for the right to send their children to the school of their choice. Why certain neighborhoods are considered ‘good’ and others not so much. Why vouchers WILL catch on and public school will eventually be a place where only those without options go. And the bad part: people will have no guilt about it. Why should they? They have no ‘right’ to tell anyone how to raise their children or even speak to bad behavior of said kids.

That’s both sad and telling.

Mountain Man

May 2nd, 2012
1:26 pm

When my son was about 4, he threw his first (and only) temper tantrum in a grocery store when he wanted a toy. My wife took him immediately outside and administered a good spanking, while telling him “we do NOT buy toys at a grocery store”. He never threw another tantrum for a toy, and he would tell us years later – I remember – we don’t buy toys at a grocery store!” A little discipline at the right time is amazing – but what if she had tried “comforting” him, and finished her shopping, then an hour later, made him go into “time out” for four minutes after we got back home? He probably would STILL be throwing temper tantrums.

bu2

May 2nd, 2012
1:27 pm

Tonya C
You’re right. The legal system is out of control. And even if the sued person wins, he still has to pay legal fees. The same thing applies with the police for this man who seems to have had a momentary loss of self-control. I know someone who got arrested for DUI despite scoring 0.0% on the breathalyzer because of a little bit of a balance problem when doing the field test. It cost $25,000 in legal fees to get it dismissed.

That’s why the man should have moved the cat and separated himself from the problem as best he could.

Mountain Man

May 2nd, 2012
1:28 pm

Or worse yet, what if my wife had IGNORED his behavior (thus reinforcing it) or EVEN WORSE, just bought him the toy to shut him up? He would probably be in prison now.

Ole Guy

May 2nd, 2012
1:28 pm

The one over-riding issue which parents…for that matter, the adult world…has failed to include in dealing with youth is FEAR; pure unadulterated FEAR. Fear of consequences, fear of castigation by peers and superiors alike, and, ultimately, fear of “self assesment”. All this fear boils down to DISCIPLINE, both within the sociely (like leaving the man’s cat alone), and, more importantly, SELF DISCIPLINE…doing the right thing, not because we’re being watched, but simply because, contrary to what our self-servingb instincts may tell us, we just do the right thing.

I realize these…and many other…thoughts the Ole Guy may usher forth are considered ole fashioned and not at all in keeping with the culture in which youth has been suspended. However, as I’ve indicated many times, there simply IS NO OTHER WAY. Yes, we have all…not just parents…lost perspective in the wayward behaviors of youth. We can’t look at the kid crosseyed without drawing the wrath of some damn pc-dominated interest. Quite frankly, it’s our own damn fault for allowing this state of events to have ever crept into the lives of youth. The only…repeat, ONLY…thing we can do is start…RAT DAMN NOW…assuming control over the day-to-day/minute-to-minute lives of the kids over whom we bear responsibility. Anything else, as Baron Rich once said, is rubish.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
1:29 pm

The only thing that is guarranteed when you spank a child is that they will become the spanker when they grow up. There is no evidence that it is effective either. It might and I mean might stop the behavior for the short term, but you really are not teaching the kid anything because kids model adult behavior. The problem with it still going on in schools is that there have been cases of abuse and the current laws in Georgia give wide immunity to teachers who use this type of ‘discipline’. It is innapropriate in schools because you cannot trust someone else to use this type of discipline on your child. Parents should never give permission for a school to use it, because they are potentially exposign their children to harm and abusers exploit loopholes all too often. Penn State comes to mind

Horrible

May 2nd, 2012
1:33 pm

@Maureen,
You confuse correlation with causation (a common failing of the fourth estate).

To use your example, maybe everyone who is in juvie has been hit with a belt etc. because that’s the next step up after a spanking, and someone who is going to end up in juvie ALWAYS takes that step (i.e., the delinquent personality causes the belt, and not the other way around).

Or maybe all these kids have young, immature parents, and those kinds of parents always use a belt
(the belt & delinquency have another common, underlying factor).

I spanked my kids, but never used any kind of weapon to do so. If the nospank crowd has it right, they should now be troubled teenage delinquents instead of well-behaved, responsible kids and honor roll students.

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
1:35 pm

First, the story says the man asked the child more than once to leave the cage alone. The brat tried to pull it off the chair anyway. I’d have sent him sprawling. I can’t touch your crotchfruit even though he’s hurting a living creature? Back off or you’re next.

Second, there was no mention of Snowflake having any behavioral disorders, real or conveniently imagined. So knock off those suppositions,

Third, all this hand-wringing to the effect that the ONLY reason Brat shouldn’t have done this was it might have gotten scratched. Are those really the values you live by – the only reason not to hurt something is a selfish one? Wow.

Oh well. Forbid a reasonable tap on the butt now, see results of double-tap in about 12-15 years when Brat-turned-Thug tries it with the wrong victim.

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
1:36 pm

gamom:

Not your place to say. If the parent expresses permission for corporal punishment, it’s not YOUR place to determine whether or not it’s appropiate. Not if you don’t want said discipline tactic for YOUR child, you should have every right to waive it. I can fully support that.

Ginger

May 2nd, 2012
1:37 pm

When I was a wee thing, a neighborhood mother caught me and her daughter (both 4 year olds) heading out of the subdivision and into the main road. She wore us both out. While I do have to say I haven’t suffered any ill effects from being spanked by someone who was not my parent (or my parent, for that matter), I definitely learned a lesson that day about staying out of the road. Thanks Mrs. Murphy for caring enough about me to teach me right from wrong since my parents, at that particular moment, were unable to.

Snafu

May 2nd, 2012
1:38 pm

@bu2..”If you get mad because you are right, you have situations like Martin/Zimmerman where both thought they were right and one got killed”.

This is not a Zimmerman/Martin issue, stick to the article,in which the pursuer was told not to follow. In this case a man tapped a child on the rear because the MOTHER FAILED to intervene when the man told the child to stop. So in this case BU2 the MOTHER was there to correct this behavior in which she did not and once again, allowed it to escalate to that point. So don’t throw the Zimmerman case in this when it is clearly a case of a PARENT who FAILED to take action. This is the crux of this matter. When one cannot bring any other argue they resort to distracting from the issue at hand.

kimmer

May 2nd, 2012
1:47 pm

@bu2 there is a difference between corporal punishment and a very light bump on the hiney to get an out of control child’s attention when he or she has put him/herself or others sick pet in immediate danger. No it was not such a good idea in retrospect I bet he wished he didn’t do that but it certainly does not warrant getting arrested, thrown in jail and charged with assault.

We don’t know all of the facts but based on what we do know there isn’t a jury anywhere that’s going to convict him.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
1:47 pm

Tonya – you are very wrong on that. My children deserve to go to a place that is not violent. If my children are in the school where paddling is going on to someone else’s child, they would be traumatized knowing their peers are getting beaten. It is foreign to them, and it is becoming less an less acceptable. In addition even if a district does not have a corporal punishment policy, teachers are getting away with getting physical, and charges cannot be brought because the legislature has given carte blanche immunity in the schoolhouse. This has happened in my community and in countless others. Plus a district can change the policy any time they want. If the parent is so hell bent on spanking for whatever crazy reason– let it be on them and on them alone. Not in my taxpayer funded school district. Period. And not anywhere in the state. So please…I am just advocating for a repeal in the GA code, because 31 states have outlawed it..including New Mexico…signed by a republican Governor. I am not going to go into all the studies that are out there. But the simple fact is, there are abusers in practically every district and they will and can exploit loopholes…IN GA there is a gaping one. Maybe you haven’t followed the news much..but almost every report there is an educator who has done unspeakable things to kids. Nobody should trust anyone else to raise their kids. Also Tonya, school district policies are very confusing to parents.. there really is only one out according to the law.. and that is a note from an MD at the beginning of the school year. No form – like an opt in or opt out would ever hold up in court. And what if the child develops a medical issue mid year – you can’t legally opt out then, because it states the note must be at beginning of year. TOO Many loopholes and too many deranged educators already in the system

Here'sHowItEnds

May 2nd, 2012
1:52 pm

The child will get away with everything he does and the parent will blame everyone else until the day comes when he is grown and harasses/threatens a person or his property and ends up on the wrong end of a gun. Thankfully, then the gun owner will have the right to defend himself and won’t be arrested like this innocent man. This man should have the right to protect his property(cat) with reasonable force(gentle hand slap on rear), even when his property is threatened by a child.

SGAdmin

May 2nd, 2012
1:52 pm

How about this: The parent of the child making HER child leave the cat alone. Why should the man move his cat when the child (and parent) is the one at fault? Should he have touched the child, maybe not. Should he have been arrested? Absolutly not.

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
1:54 pm

gamom:

I follow the news. I am just far from paranoid or worked up about anything that doesn’t pertain to my child learning. If it’s about curriculum, standards, testing, etc I care. Otherwise, nope. Deranged teachers? I know a teacher who was stabbed by a student this year, and several others who were injured last year. Deranged can go both ways.

But I moved to GA knowing full and well this was the South so maybe it’s just knowing where I stand.

Discipline is a GOOD THING

May 2nd, 2012
1:56 pm

Gamom: Just homeschool your kids and keep ‘em outta public. You are the problem.

Potentially lawful

May 2nd, 2012
1:57 pm

Not sure why GA law 16-3-24 would not apply to the man defending his property (the cat). Seems like the child was interfering with his property.

This is Georgia’s law justifying non-deadly use of force to protect property (not one’s home).

TITLE 16. CRIMES AND OFFENSES
CHAPTER 3. DEFENSES TO CRIMINAL PROSECUTIONS
ARTICLE 2. JUSTIFICATION AND EXCUSE

O.C.G.A. § 16-3-24 (2011)

§ 16-3-24. Use of force in defense of property other than a habitation

(a) A person is justified in threatening or using force against another when and to the extent that he reasonably believes that such threat or force is necessary to prevent or terminate such other’s trespass on or other tortious or criminal interference with real property other than a habitation or personal property:

(1) Lawfully in his possession;

(2) Lawfully in the possession of a member of his immediate family; or

(3) Belonging to a person whose property he has a legal duty to protect.

(b) The use of force which is intended or likely to cause death or great bodily harm to prevent trespass on or other tortious or criminal interference with real property other than a habitation or personal property is not justified unless the person using such force reasonably believes that it is necessary to prevent the commission of a forcible felony.

Yara Williams

May 2nd, 2012
1:59 pm

The mother should know how to control her child. He apparently does not how to act in public and does not respond to simple commands from adults as, “stop”. When the law starts holding these parents accountable for their offspring, then they won’t be so quick to blame others. This was senseless to the fullest. Now, if the man would have had a temper mental dog in the cage and it bit the boy when he opened the cage, who would be a fault? The man or the mother? The mother would be, she needs to be put in jail for being an incompetent parent.

Hillbilly D

May 2nd, 2012
2:00 pm

When I was a kid, I knew that neither of my parents would have any problem blistering my tail, if I acted up. I didn’t like getting my tail blistered, so I kept my acting up to a minimum. Cause and effect. simple as that.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
2:04 pm

@ Tonya… I think you simply don’t get the laws the way they are and the loopholes. I hope and pray you will see the light. If something ever happened to your child, I’m quite certain you’d make a big stink about it.

Maureen how come you didn’t cover the Stu Chaifetz story…the dad who caught teachers on tape?.. Anyway he has a FB page – No More Teacher Bullies — https://www.facebook.com/NoMoreTeacherBullies

Bratz rule

May 2nd, 2012
2:05 pm

Ridiculous that this man was arrested. I get tired of the mentality that just because they’re children, any obnoxious behavior should be excused or ignored. Parents need to teach their children to respect other people’s boundaries; otherwise, if they cross the wrong person they might end up with much worse than a swat on the backside. Maybe the kid should have been in the cage instead of the cat. Hmmm, cage or corporal punishment? Yeah, that swat on the bottom isn’t sounding so Draconian now is it?

Sparky

May 2nd, 2012
2:08 pm

I love cats but why not just get between the kid and the cat. He could even pull him away. Spanking the kid seems bizarre.

Kid is 4. Not like he knows what he’s doing. You can’t hit him.

So now every kid that acts up is an entitled brat???

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
2:10 pm

gamom:

No I wouldn’t. Why? Because as I said I believe in corporal punishment. So if my kid got tagged at school, the follow-up at home would be no better. I don’t make big stinks about things that are not mortal danger. But good luck with it. You are fighting a real uphill battle.

Bratz rule

May 2nd, 2012
2:18 pm

Even a two year old is old enough to understand “No!” Ole Guy has it right. Fear of consequences goes a long way to ensuring courteous behavior.

“An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.”
Robert A. Heinlein

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
2:19 pm

No Tonya, you don’t understand, there have been kids who have had injuries from it, and the courts throw it out.. Unless you are an abuser yourself, I am quite certain you’d be outraged if your kid came home with a broken tailbone or worse. And if you are an abuser, one day a mandated reporter will report you…because now a new law is in effect…expanding the requirements of mandated reporters. The child maltreatment rates here in Georgia is appalling! And that goes to all the spankers and abusers out there…mandated reporters are everywhere. If you hit your child in public, somebody is likely to report you.

steve

May 2nd, 2012
2:20 pm

The man had his pet in a container and had told the child to leave it alone. I understand the child is 4 and has no real concept of reality, but this is where the mother should have stepped in. Shame on the mother for not controlling her child.

kindeya

May 2nd, 2012
2:22 pm

I believe the cat’s owner was well within his rights to protect his property (his cat). If the 4 year old is already out of control; what will he be like at 10 years or even older. It’s ashame that the cat owner was arrested and charged. DFACS need to get involved and send the mom to some parental training classes.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
2:29 pm

new study on child abuse/bullying – suggests it hastens aging in kids

http://stopabusecampaign.com/feature/bullyingchild-abuse-hasten-aging-in-kids

Spanking can quickly lead to abuse, especially if the spanker is a repeat spanker and does it over and over again. Long term effects of spanking over and over again are negative. The damage is cumulative. I doubt I will change any hearts or minds on these blogs, but wanted to share the link. It’s really shameful that people get on these blogs and say what they say.

JacketMan

May 2nd, 2012
2:32 pm

Drop the charges and advise the man not to swat other people’s kids. Turn the child over to DFACS for a few days and arrest the mother for child neglect.

Sal

May 2nd, 2012
2:46 pm

Most of the time I think that people should not spank another person’s child but in this case the kid was totally out of control. The guy did what his mom should have done. Her child was doing harm and she was not stopping him. I have seen parents let kids slap babbies because they had no control over him. I know adults can not spank other people’s childrens but this was a case of self defense.

Mountain Man

May 2nd, 2012
2:51 pm

Amen – Jacketman

Horrible

May 2nd, 2012
2:52 pm

BTW, now we know the parental mentality (gamom/bu2) that made it necessary for an elementary school to call the cops on that out-of-control kindergartener. Only safe, non-litigious way to apply force to stop the little darling.

whopping moma

May 2nd, 2012
3:11 pm

I raised four boys, all finshed high school w/ HONORS all finish college, they had house dutes, yard work etc. all the boys had part time jobs while in High school. I taught my children how to respect me & others, my boys new i would beat their behinds if they showed out on me or try to talk back to me, I never played with my kids,I let them know that we are the parents and you will respect us bottom line.
Parents pay attention to your kids and have them to respect you and others. Don’t be scared to pop them every now and then belive me it will make them a better person in the long run.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
3:13 pm

@Horrible…please do not assume I am an opponent to discipline. I have never said that. It boggles the mind that some of the comments are coming from educators. If you hate little monsters so much…please get out of education!

Me

May 2nd, 2012
3:27 pm

Great — So the identity of the man trying to protect his pet is now widely known and wide spread but no one has identified the mother of the mis-behaved child who “insisted” on pressing charges… WHY??

Tom

May 2nd, 2012
3:29 pm

The mother sounds like she is the cause of the child’s very dysfunctional behavior! Maybe she should have been the one brought up for justice.

high school teacher

May 2nd, 2012
3:31 pm

“The only thing that is guarranteed when you spank a child is that they will become the spanker when they grow up. There is no evidence that it is effective either.”

I’ll provide you with some action research: spanking was incredibly effective in my house as a kid. I never got in trouble at school because I was terrified of what would have happened to me at home. I never drank, smoke, did drugs, or snuck out of the house as a teen. My sister and brother can say the same thing. Today, we are all college-graduated, happily married, successful adults. I will say that while my parents didn’t spare the rod, they also didn’t spare the love. We are all very close to our parents now, and as an adult I see them as my friends. I always knew that I was loved. However, I had a healthy respect of their heavy hands! Spanking is very effective if it’s coupled with love.

As for being the one who spanker, well, yes, I do that too. And I have two well-behaved, well-mannered boys

high school teacher

May 2nd, 2012
3:31 pm

…who spanks…

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
3:34 pm

high school teacher – annecdotally speaking isn’t it? Not acceptable in today’s world. Sorry. Next. My children have never been spanked, they are productive, happy and healthy.. So you can’t assert it was the spanking that did it, because my experience is opposite of yours. Love/Spanking in the same sentence is an oxymoron.

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
3:35 pm

Then do tell us, gamom…what discipline DO you approve of?

You started by scolding everyone who disagrees with you, then name calling, then distracting with another story, then you argued and – my favorite – “prayed for” those who wouldn’t go along with you, now you’re just “acting out” at everyone who disagrees with you, and that seems to be the vast majority. Do you have anything besides distractions, name-calling, arguing, and scolding? Or are those YOUR disciplinary tools?

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
3:41 pm

gamom:

You will not garner support for yur cause because of your all or nothing attitude. Period. You will have a few who latch on, but the masses you need to affect change are instantly turned off by you ‘my way or the highway’ ideals. Spanking works for ME. It is not the only tool in my arsenal, but it is ONE. To turn every spanker into an abuser and bring out the DFACS (a joke of an agency which is so underfunded it’s ridiculous) is no different than saying anyone who doesn’t spank doesn’t discipline.

And making calls to the so-called abuse line…fot the kids who are TRULY abused, it is almost never found out. That’s the hilarity when someone throws it out there.

Cammi317

May 2nd, 2012
3:41 pm

That mom is an idiot! That being said, I am a single parent, and I have a 14 y/o daughter. Beyond mouthing off a little too much occassionally, she is a well rounded normal 14 y/o by anyone’s standard. She is not having sex, using drugs or alcohol or participating in any illegal activities. How do I know this you say? Because I keep a TIGHT reign on her. Does this mean that she might go wild in 4 years when she is off to college? Possibly, I got a little wild my freshman year, but calmed down 2nd semester, and I was raised in a 2 parent home where I the reign was also held tight. On the otherhand, I know several children her age being raised in a 2 parent home and doing all kinds of wild and crazy stuff. At the end of the day, it’s about how you parent.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
3:45 pm

@Morrigan..if I was this mother of the 4 year old, I would be holding on to my child, if the situation warranted I would have left, simple as that. But I wouldn’t pop or spank the child.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
3:49 pm

Tonya – FINE, it works for you! You are the one that has to follow the law! There are laws in place to protect the child in the home already. But not so in the schools. Educators who abuse the corporal punishment policy are immune. That’s my point! Read it slowly. It works for you and you have a clear conscience …fine, but it does not belong in the schools. That’s all I’m saying. There is not one Educator Professional Organization out there that supports corporal punishment in schools. Not One. If you are so compelled to spank your child, that is on you. I never said to outlaw it in the home …did I? No I did not. although I do not condone it, no more laws are needed in that regard.

Just another teacher

May 2nd, 2012
4:06 pm

gamom @ 3:13 p.m. It boggles the mind that some of the comments are coming from educators. If you hate little monsters so much…please get out of education!

I do not hate my students. I do despise spineless administrators for not allowing teachers to discipline students. Only a small amount of discipline allows paddling. Teachers are not allowed to do very much at all when it comes to discipline as it may hurt Snowflake’s precious self-esteem if they are corrected. I do despise parents for putting their Snowflakey children on the Pedastal of Awesomeness in the first place.

By the way….I just got written up by an administrator for hurting a Snowflakey child’s feelings when I reprimanded them for day dreaming in class. Apparently, they cried all night at home.

I used to love coming to school….now I just flat out hate it.

Tag

May 2nd, 2012
4:07 pm

The mother was wrong for not controlling her kid.
She should have spanked her child.

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
4:07 pm

gamom, I asked you what discipline is acceptable to you, not “what you’d do if” or what you wouldn’t do.

Finish the sentence: “The types of discipline that are acceptable to me are:”

Just another teacher

May 2nd, 2012
4:07 pm

Is gamom the same person as our old friend “Good Mother”?

Tonya C.

May 2nd, 2012
4:12 pm

Just another teacher:

I don’t think so. She only comes out when the posting is in regards to coporal punishment or a child being touched. Good Mother actively assaults all types of posts.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
4:36 pm

Morrigan – it all depends on the age and the circumstance. I said I would remove me and my child if the situation warranted. That’s what I said. I meant what I said. Is that not good enough. Really, what else can you do with a 4 year old. Now, if you are talking about a 10 yr old or a 14 yr old, entirely different.

I hope all spankers take heed, because there are stiffer penalties now and broader requirements for mandated reporters in Georgia. Widely covered in the news. Soooooo…with that said…hold on to the tradition all you want, eventually you’re going to have to find alternative behavior management for your kids

Snafu

May 2nd, 2012
4:38 pm

@ steve..” I understand the child is 4 and has no real concept of reality”

Are you kidding me. If a parent disciplined and taught the child he/she would have a sense of reality. I know toddlers who have a sense of reality when they touch something hot or too cold. Dang, I don’t know where you have been or the children you have been around but 4 yrs old if taught properly should know when to stop if told by an adult. There is not excuse for the INACTION of the MOTHER!

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
4:39 pm

Here’s a link to the mandated reporter expansion http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/section/6/article/66569/

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
4:45 pm

All of you IDIOTS who are favoring this Russell man are ignorant. It is never ok to hit a child! I guarantee if any of you have children and I walked up the them (being a complete stranger) and hit them, you would have your panties in a bunch too. And lets play the sick cat role some more ok…. have you ever stop to ask why this lady was at the vet…. why she was preoccupied for a moment? Was her animal sick or being put to sleep.. do you know? No you dont!
And for those of you talking about bringing the child and mom to justice…bahahaha hes 4yrs old! Do you know this child? NO! Do you know his background..NO! This does not make him a terrible child, this makes him a 4yr old boy, doesnt mean he is like that all the time. I know this from working with children for 8years. It also doesnt make her a bad mom. You were not there to see what was happening. Every single one of you has made mistakes in you life and if you have children you have had your ups and downs with them also….so on a bad day…that makes you a bad mom for the rest of your life. I say shes a bad mom if she didnt stick up for her son and protect him! Then she would be teaching him that its ok to let strangers touch you or hit you. All kids are curious and Im sure he was comfortable with animals if she was there with her animal in the first place.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
4:45 pm

to just another teacher — oh, the daydreaming in class bit. That could have been my daughter. We discovered an issue through my physician!! You betchya I would have mad at you too. Daydreaming is not only caused by lack of sleep and other physical factors but can occur in learning disabilities too. Like I said, if you can’t handle the heat…get out of the kitchen.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
4:47 pm

I can then commend your administrator for writing you up. Do you not realize the damage you do to kids?

Snafu

May 2nd, 2012
4:47 pm

@ gamon…”The only thing that is guarranteed when you spank a child is that they will become the spanker when they grow up. There is no evidence that it is effective either.”

You must be one of those parents that still play time out. What evidence you have to validate your above rantings? I know darn well if a parent spanks a child for things they clearly have been told not to do they will respond if nothing else has. There is a difference between abuse and discipline. And as far as GA goes with their school system, if the parent did their job at home the teacher could do their job and teach. But since the parent fail to take control the teachers are left to handle disruptive little brats and those children who are trying to learn suffer.

And when the teacher tries the get the parent to intervene the parent jumps the teacher. So once again the responsibility lies with the PARENT and their miserable failure to discipline what they brought into this world. Why should others have to deal with unruly children if theirs are not? Or why should ppl be subjected to unruly children when the parents are standing right there?

Horrible

May 2nd, 2012
4:52 pm

Time Out? All that teaches a child is that kidnapping solves problems.

Removing a favorite toy? All that teaches a child is that stealing solves problems.

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
4:53 pm

For all of you saying shes a bad mom and doesnt know how to parent….. ummmm where do you get the right to say this about a women you have never met? Also have you even gotten the entire story yet? Was this women holding a baby or an animal and trying to pay with her 4 yr old was near her than ran over to the cat??? Its just so ridiculous that you ignorant dumbasses can take a small story and twist it into another story. All you know is they were in the vet and there is nothing about the mom just standing there with her hands free just painting her F******* finger nails…theres a number of reasons she may have had to turn her head real quick. GET A LIFE

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
4:54 pm

@snafu – 20 years of research backs me up. And my own personal experience.

I love teaching. I hate what it is becoming...

May 2nd, 2012
5:09 pm

@gamom “And that goes to all the spankers and abusers out there…mandated reporters are everywhere. If you hit your child in public, somebody is likely to report you.”

Please stop equating spanking with abuse. Spanking and beating are two totally different actions. My parents spanked me on rare occassions, they NEVER beat me or abused me. Children are different and respond to different forms of discipline. Perhaps your children respond well to time out, etc. Some children need only a reprimand. Others are more of a challenge. Spanking is certainly not something I condone, but I don’t think anyone should condemn a parent for considering it a potential discipline measure.

@”Daydreaming is not only caused by lack of sleep and other physical factors but can occur in learning disabilities too.”

True, but I would imagine by this point in the academic year, a teacher would have a pretty good idea if a student was daydreaming due to some underlying condition, or was just goofing off because the standardized testing is over and as far as the majority of our students are concerned, that means school is over too. And writing up a teacher for telling a child to pay attention in class? Really? You don’t want teachers to use any physical means of discipline, and then you agree with writing them up for using verbal reprimands. Just what exactly would you suggest teachers do with unruly students?

And people wonder why the students think they can get away with anything these days.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
5:13 pm

nonsense! Daydreaming can vary from day to day depending on the child! My child was also reprimanded for something she could not help. It happens too much; too often and teachers need to bite their tongue. Please don’t call kids, lazy, stupid, daydreamers, or whatever. That makes YOU the bully. Instead help them with some strategies to overcome the difficulty. Whatever happened to teachers who inspire?

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
5:19 pm

Enter your comments here

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
5:22 pm

Since when is daydreaming deemed ‘unruly’. You guys love to throw unruly at just about everything. I am so glad all y’all are mindreaders and medical doctors. For all you know a daydreamer maybe suffering from low blood sugar! Something that cannot be helped. But I don’t see any comments from any so-called educator on these blogs that give me any faith in the system whatsoever.

Archie@Arkham Asylum

May 2nd, 2012
5:26 pm

It sounds like the cat owner interfered with the sacred rights of this American child to do what he wants, when he wants, in however manner he wants! Anarchy, Anyone?

Can't believe your comments....

May 2nd, 2012
5:27 pm

Are you SERIOUS???????? This is capital punishment. Put yourselves in this lady’s shoes or any mother’s for that matter-would you like it if a stranger put his hands on your child? The most important person in this whold wide world to a parent?
All he had to do was pick up the cat carrier, after all a 4 year old is only so tall!! You can’t say this parent is not a good mother,you don’t know her. All children are curious, boys will be boys.
I know one thing-if anyone and I mean ANYONE outside of my family puts there hands on my children, I will be calling the police. I don’t care about any one’s of your crazy comments.

big picture

May 2nd, 2012
5:52 pm

To those who suggest that the responsibility is on the adult whose animal was being threatened (yes, if you have an animal in a crate sitting on a table, and a 4 year old comes along, sticks his hand inside then abruptly pulls it out and the crate is pulled down onto the floor, putting the animal at risk of a fall and re-opening a wound), who you state should have moved the animal, I think you are missing the big picture.

Regardless of the mother’s or the child’s situation, there comes a time when there is personal responsibility. What if the waiting room is full and there is no place to move to? What if it was a child pulling on the hose of an elderly person’s oxygen tank who couldn’t move? Why is it the victim’s responsibility to get out of the way of an unruly child? When is it the parent’s job to control their children, rather than the stranger’s job to walk away?

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
6:04 pm

gamom: “Morrigan – it all depends on the age and the circumstance.”

In other words, you can’t answer.

“I said I would remove me and my child if the situation warranted. That’s what I said. I meant what I said. Is that not good enough.”

Poorly written by a deer in the headlights.

“Really, what else can you do with a 4 year old.”

No answers; let’s try an excuse!

“Now, if you are talking about a 10 yr old or a 14 yr old, entirely different.”

Still have no answers; hey, look over there!

In other words, you have no answer to the question “The types of discipline I approve of are:”. Just as I thought.

I feel profoundly sorry for any children you have. What a punitive, angry person you are.

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
6:09 pm

Is gamom a paid posterbaiter, or does she do it for free?

3schoolkids

May 2nd, 2012
7:05 pm

Mom should have immediately removed her child to prevent any harm to the cat and her child. Cat owner should not have touched the child, period. I understand he acted quickly to protect his cat, but the fallout shows just why you should avoid ANY physical contact with anyone in this type of situation. Mom could have chosen to NOT press charges, but she did.

crankee-yankee

May 2nd, 2012
7:43 pm

When my kids were that age, we would often go out to eat with them in tow. There were a few dinners that went uneaten at the restaurant because one of my kids would have a fit over something or other. When that happened, one adult (usually me) would remove the culprit & sit with them in the car while the rest of the family finished dinner. We were embarrassed at the thought of inflicting our brats’ unruly behavior on the other diners. It did not take long for the kids to get the message, poor behavior would not be tolerated., they stopped being disruptive fairly quickly. But we were willing to forgo a nice meal in order to instill discipline in our kids & they (now adults) are better for it (they remind us periodically of it when we are out to dinner with them and there is a loud urchin in the restaurant). “You never let us get away with that. What’s wrong with those parents?” Selfish parents, willing to inflict their kids on the public so long as they won’t be inconvenienced. That seems to be a common denominator in many of the discussions on this blog.

Now, GET OFF MY LAWN!

Morrigan

May 2nd, 2012
7:50 pm

3schoolkids, I wonder if Mommy’s mind went “ca-ching” when the man swatted the kid, and that’s why she wouldn’t drop the charges? Now more than ever I want to see a name and photo. What do you want to bet she’ll get a high-profile lawyer, start hammering the nail of “Spanking is BEATING!”, and sue him for big bucks?

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
7:53 pm

now I’m a deer in the headlights. LOL….! and angry and punitive to boot. Where am I punitive? How do people assert such things? WOW.

I already told you what I would do in the situation. A four year old acts up..it’s what they do! I would have probably taken my child out the door and into the car, sat with my child in the car with the AC running, until the kitty cat man left. What else are parents of 4 years SUPPOSED to do.. Yell, scream, hit?! No! Geez people…just because many of us parents do not believe in hitting our kids, does not mean we are rtaising miscreants, and thugs. My children have not been spanked and they are good well adjusted kids.. So all the assertions that it works just got blown out of the water.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
7:59 pm

And if anyone EVER and I mean EVER lays a finger on my kids, I would also call police.

The Truth Hurts

May 2nd, 2012
7:59 pm

They should have arrested the mom too…..child endangerment….lol….but serious

high school teacher

May 2nd, 2012
8:07 pm

” Really, what else can you do with a 4 year old.”

Umm you can spank him…

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
8:07 pm

Morrigan you seem to be focusing on the mom and all of you for that matter….this is about the child and has become about bad mouthing the mom. Just because she was caring for her child doesnt mean shes going to sue the guy lol……dont you think if she wanted to ruin the guys life she would have been doing all kinds of news interviews. Easy to write crap through a computer when shes not here to defend herself.

bu2

May 2nd, 2012
8:12 pm

@snafu
You fail to see the point. The issue is to solve the problem. Not prove you are right. Zimmerman thought he was right following a possbile criminal. Martin thought he was right to be mad because someone was following him when he was minding his own business. Martin is dead. The man thought he was right to correct the child because the Mom didn’t act. He went to jail. Self-righteousness can get you in trouble.

bu2

May 2nd, 2012
8:17 pm

Lilburn, Morrigan, et. al.
You are throwing an interpretation in there that has nothing to do with the story. There is nothing to indicate the child thought he was tormenting the cat. He probably loved cats and was trying to play. He was not following instructions, but to call him a deliberate pet abuser is really a stretch.

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
8:17 pm

“The man swatted the boy on the butt because Mommie (I wonder does she still nurse the brat?) was prob on her cell phone, or smiling weakly while watching the brat try to pull the cage off the chair, or some other response that showed she has no clue. She couldn’t be bothered moving own butt to do anything until Snowflake got (less than) what was coming to him.”

BTW MORRIGAN
HOW DO YOU KNOW THE 4 YR OLD WAS THE ONLY CHILD SHE WAS WATCHING? YOU DONT! HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE DIDNT HAVE BOTH OF HER HANDS FREE? YOU DONT! WHAT IF THE CHILD WERE MENTALLY RETARDED OR SOMETHING? THEN WOULD YOU FEEL BAD. POINT IS YOU DONT KNOW THE MOTHER OR CHILD SO HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH UNTIL YOU GET ALL THE FACTS. SCREW SNOWFLAKE, IF THE OWNER WAS SO CONCERNED HE CAN HOLD THE CAGE OR PICK IT UP HIMSELF.

Archie@Arkham Asylum

May 2nd, 2012
8:19 pm

@Morrigan: Years ago when I taught in South Georgia, a local farmer put it to me this way and I quote: “Don’t never get in a wrestling match with a pig! You’ll both get all dirty and the pig likes it!” In plain English, Don’t feed the trolls!

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
8:23 pm

AND I KEEP HEARING WELL THE CAT HAD SURGERY AND SUCH AND THE MOM WAS PROBABLY ON HER PHONE!
WHAT IF THE MOM WAS THERE TO FIND OUT HER ANIMAL HAS TO HAVE SURGERY AND THAT CAUGHT HER OFF GUARD FOR A MOMENT…

YOU CANT ASSUME EVERYTHING WHEN YOU DONT KNOW THE FACTS.

NBCT

May 2nd, 2012
8:58 pm

The problem with most parents of rude and belligerent children is that they aren’t parents, they are ignorant and selfish adults. This woman should receive a fine for her child’s behavior. The man should be let go. This story disgusts me.

NBCT

May 2nd, 2012
8:59 pm

@Brandy,.. CAPS means you are shouting.

NBCT

May 2nd, 2012
9:05 pm

@ Brandy,… “HAT CAUGHT HER OFF GUARD FOR A MOMENT…”

Then she should thank the man for discipling her child while she was a negligent parent not ask for him to be arrested. She should apologize for her sons bad behavior. She should ask for forgiveness not call the police.

Obviously she is a self-centered poor parent in your scenario.

Pardon My Blog

May 2nd, 2012
9:05 pm

Perhaps he should have slapped the Mom instead and brought her back from her oblivious state. An injured or sick animal can inflict serious damage, they don’t know it is only a 4 year old brat who has no manners. The guy could have been sued for everything he owned just because the kid had to have stitches or worse.

This goes back to responsibility which, sadly, many Americans feel they do not have. It is always someone elses fault, there is always someone else to blame, they are too young to know how to behave, etc. And that, my friends, is why we are in the state we are in.

Wow...

May 2nd, 2012
9:15 pm

That little boy better be glad he was messing with someone else’s pet and not mine. Had he been bothering my dogs after being told to stop he’d be in tears picking himself up off the floor. Can’t stand disrespectful children…and no one, especially a 4 year old, will mess with my pets and get away with it. The man should be praised for trying to put a little discipline in that child’s life. It’s something he is sorely lacking. What a sorry excuse for a mother he has.

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
9:15 pm

I AM SHOUTING BECAUSE NONE OF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
9:17 pm

What makes the kid a brat? Do you know him personally him?

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
9:17 pm

Can I hit your kid?

Long time educator

May 2nd, 2012
9:29 pm

Parents like this one are the reason I am no longer a school administrator. You cannot pay me enougth to deal with these folks. There are some level-headed parents, but most of the time, I was not dealing with them at all. Their children behave and do not end up in the office. It is the offspring of the crazies that are causing havoc. The children could be taught discipline if it weren’t for their nutty parents. I gave up.

NBCT

May 2nd, 2012
9:30 pm

@Brandy, If my kid touched your cat without permission I would not mind if you whacked his posterior. However, my kids know better than to touch other peoples property as I taught them better than this woman,.. you support. Support a bit too much,.. makes me wonder. To quote a phrase “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
9:45 pm

doesnt matter how much you teach your children, children and everybody makes mistakes! Children get curious, expecially if they love animals. keep on wondering…

NBCT

May 2nd, 2012
9:51 pm

@Brandy When they make mistakes they get correction. If not from you, from others. There is nothing wrong with discipline. The man did nothing wrong. The kid DID do something wrong to his cat. He took corrective action and now is punished? Thats ridiculous. The mother should be punished for not controlling her kids.

Brandy

May 2nd, 2012
9:55 pm

kids?

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
9:55 pm

The man did nothing wrong?!!!!!!! i am convinced you cant fix stupid.

NBCT

May 2nd, 2012
10:01 pm

@GaMom This is correct,.. you can’t fix stupid. People who think they can let their kids run nilly-willy without consequences and are defiant when consequences occur are stupid.

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
10:12 pm

What gives anyone the right to take it upon themselves and spank someone else’s child?! Please explain. People who do so, do so at their own risk of being reported to the police.

Attention parents! – Please note the comments on this blog – and the attitude of so many intolerant people. Hide your kids or better yet – make sure they become little robots.

NBCT

May 2nd, 2012
10:20 pm

@GaMom – Perhaps you should look at it another way:

“Attention parents! – Please note the comments on this blog – and the attitude of so many poor parents. Teach your kids to respect others or better yet – make sure they don’t become little brats that feel entitled to mess with everyone/everything they see.”

gamom

May 2nd, 2012
10:35 pm

child haters

Childcare worker

May 2nd, 2012
10:38 pm

@Brandy – Are you the mom in the story by chance? You are zealously defending her side of the story. Fact is, Mom should have been watching her kid. Better yet, said child should have been trained the proper way to approach an animal at an early age. If Mom knows her little darling is a handful, then why did Mom have him with her at the vet in the first place? She could have arranged to be at the vet first thing or last thing to minimize distractions for her child.

Man shouldn’t have swatted the child, but my guess is that it was totally instinctive. He might not have been able to get to the cat carrier in time nor could he have been able to lift it for whatever reason. There have been many times in my work when I have wanted to jerk a knot in the tail of one of my young charges, but I don’t dare. Instead they get told what would have happened to me if I’d tried to pull the same shenanigan (I wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week.) And believe it or not, there are some parents who have granted me permission to swat when necessary. Guess whose little darlings are the better behaved most of the time?

NBCT

May 2nd, 2012
11:01 pm

@GaMom – Thats sad,.. just because we kids to behave themselves instead of run all over the place and mess with people ,.. you think we are “child haters”. Thats not fair. I love my kids and I love other well behaved kids. I do not like, or tolerate hell-yens. To dismiss other perspectives as “haters” is ignorant and pompous.

Children need to know boundaries and they need to respect other peoples personal space and property. It is the parents responsibility to teach their children this. Parents that don’t teach their children should not be surprised when others react as this man did or worse.

bu2

May 2nd, 2012
11:38 pm

@NBCT
Turn it around.
Adults need to know boundaries and they need to respect other peoples’ personal space and property and children. It was their parents’ responsibility to teach them this. Adults that didn’t learn this should not be surprised when others have them arrested or throw them out a window.

Another Math Teacher

May 3rd, 2012
12:24 am

Maureen Downey: “@Another, Here is a good summation:
http://www.nospank.net/welsh3.htm”

Your citation is from 1979 (formatted for web in 1998.) Many of the papers it cites are from 1950-1975. Outdated to say the least.

“Although many of our colleagues are not so convinced as we are of the detrimental effects and ubiquitousness of severe parenting in our society.”

The author shows his true colours here, saying that it is “severe” parenting. Translating that sentence to English… “Many people with the exact same credentials think our research is crap.”

“If we are correct that the single most important factor in the development of delinquency is severe parenting.”

Even the author says “if they are correct.”

“I have repeatedly suggested that all belt manufacturers stamp on the back of their belts, “Caution: This belt is an article of clothing only. Its use to punish a child is dangerous to the child’s mental health.” ”

This is a serious paper? Your cite is 30 years old and has a definite agenda. Anything current that is not as slanted as gamom?

I love teaching. I hate what it is becoming...

May 3rd, 2012
6:26 am

@gamom “Since when is daydreaming deemed ‘unruly’. You guys love to throw unruly at just about everything.”

I notice you did not answer the question. I did not say “daydreaming” was unruly. I asked what you would suggest teachers do to reprimand unruly students since you seem to disagree with physical and verbal reprimands. Fact is, any classroom misbehavior MAY be attributed to some physical, psychological, or behavioral disorder. The child may be ADHD, autistic, EDBD, LD, diabetic, etc. etc. etc. So just where does that leave the teacher? Many parents resist diagnosis of their children. Many parents will not consider medication for various conditions. Many systems do not want children labeled because then that increases their Sp Ed numbers and their costs. Many principals will not support teachers by enforcing discipline measures. As a result, you may have several children in a classroom who may have a variety of diagnoses which the teacher has to deal with without support. I have had children throw a chair in the room, then say, “But I have ADHD!” when there are consequences. I wonder where they learned that behavior?

So sometimes, the child is just acting up because they CAN because there are no consequences and they know it!

The majority of teachers are not out to GET children. I have several students with various issues in my class, and I work with parents individually to do what is best for their children – but after nearly 8 months, I KNOW my students well enough to know when little Jimmy back talks it is due to his autism, but when little Mary does it, she is pushing to see what she can get away with.

We could play the “what if” game all day – what is Mary has low blood sugar? What if Mary is undiagnosed ADHD? What if Mary’s cat just died? But at some point, people should trust that he classroom teacher MAY have a better grasp of little Mary’s situation (seeing as they have been working with little Mary all year) than those of us on a blog, who have never met Mary, or her teacher, or her parents, may have.

Some folks here are against passing judgment on a parent’s situation without knowing all the facts, but seem quite willing to pass judgment on teachers all the time.

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
6:27 am

Stupid is not knowing the story and just assuming. How do you know there wasnt any consequences to the child, that his mother didnt have a talk with him? you dont.

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
6:29 am

No childare worker I am not the mom. Theres many people that agree with her, we are all entitled to our opinions and I get my facts straight before I open my mouth.

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
6:33 am

Maybe the mom did make arrangements and her sitter or whoever fell through? Maybe mom tried to go to vet at a different time but her animal wasnt ready yet??? There are many things all of you are assuming. You cant just think you know her and everything about the story and bad mouth her based on careless opinions.

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
6:38 am

And guess what? I dont really care about what you are and are not allowed to do at your job. The point is those parents gave you permission to do that….. a complete strange smacked her child, thats different…. you idiots who are supporting it are ridiculous. Its never ok for someone to just lay their hands on your child and now a days the mom could have gone to jail if she touched him the wrong way in public too.

Nicole4579

May 3rd, 2012
8:18 am

How dare any of you judge the mother or child! Were you there? Did you see what happened? NO. this man is 42 years old. He should know better than to touch someone else’s kid. Simple as that. Whether the child was misbehaving or not the man had no right to touch him. I would have had him arrested too.

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
8:49 am

@Brandy – You dont know the story either.

Calling people “idiots” because they disagree with you shows your maturity (or lack there of) and your lack of respect for others. Given this, I can see why you think a child should be allowed to run amuck, and disturb others unbridled by any form of respect for others and their property.

Its sad really that people in our society think children should not learn manners or respect for others.

AlreadySheared

May 3rd, 2012
8:58 am

The lead sentence for this blog is
“A recurring issue on this blog is how to deal with out-of-control children in the classroom.”

The fact that the question has to be asked at all speaks volumes.

The attitudes of some of the preceding posters – “How DARE someone other than me TOUCH my out-of-control child?!” shows exactly where these little egocentric nutjobs come from. God help us all when they are big enough to do actual damage.

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
9:50 am

@AlreasySheared – excellent point.

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
9:55 am

I have the upper hand in this, I was there droppoing off my animal, so you have no points to prove. You were not there, and your facts are all wrong. So unless you were working there, you need to get stop talking.

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
9:55 am

I know the REAL story.

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
9:57 am

Given your prior posts,.. I question your judgement, maturity, and understanding of effective parenting.

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
9:57 am

Do you believe everything everyone tells you? haha.

That shows a level of maturity also.

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
9:57 am

effective parenting… because you know it all right haha

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
10:01 am

Dont even get me started on judgement..

A man hit a child. Your judgement on that was…its ok! Then why did the cops arrest him(bc its against the law) and tell her she did the right thing.

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
10:32 am

“she was having trouble controlling her son,” the police report said.

Trouble began when the boy reached for a cat in a carrier.

The cat recently had surgery, and the Suwanee man was there to pick it up.

… the youngster repeatedly reached for the animal, … he told the child to stop, but the boy grabbed hold of the cage and tried to pull it off a chair.
The man said he shouted, “Stop! Stop! Stop!” and struck the child lightly on his lower back and buttocks.”

high school teacher

May 3rd, 2012
10:36 am

From a 2006 Time Magazine article titled “Is Spanking Ok?”…

Plenty of experts believe that spanking is not always wrong. John Rosemond, executive director of the Center for Affirmative Parenting in Gastonia, N.C., and author of several books on discipline, notes that 50 years ago almost all children were spanked. Yet by all accounts, children are more aggressive and prone to violence today, and at earlier ages, than they were back then. Rosemond isn’t advising parents to break out the whip. He simply points out that existing research on spanking is unpersuasive. “There is no evidence gathered by anyone who doesn’t have an ideological ax to grind that suggests spanking per se is psychologically harmful,” he says.

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
10:37 am

While I would not hit the kid, I do not blame him for doing so. Just because the laws have swung in the direction of liberal interpretations concerning corporal punishment does not mean it is just or even correct. I will be interested to know what happens to him when facing the judge.

AlreadySheared

May 3rd, 2012
11:03 am

@high school teacher
” Similarly, after reviewing 38 studies of spanking, Robert Larzelere, a psychologist at the University of Nebraska Medical Center, concluded that in children under 7, nonabusive spanking reduced misbehavior without harmful effects. Not only does spanking work, Larzelere says, but it also reinforces milder forms of discipline, so that children are more apt to respond without spanking the next time.”

Sounds about right. I would also add that if you end up needing to spank a young child MORE than once a month, you should consider different approaches. If their child mind begins to view it as anything other than “the worst thing ever to be avoided at all costs”, it is losing its effectiveness.

high school teacher

May 3rd, 2012
11:13 am

Already Sheared,

Agreed. We used spanking more as a means of conditioning than anything else; when a 2-year-old child reaches for a forbidden object and has his hand popped, he learns not to reach for that object. I am NOT a fan of time out. Once I tried a Supernanny technique with my younger son when he was 3. He had to sit on the “ugly rug” for 5 minutes. The “ugly rug” was placed in the foyer away from the action. He simply scooted the rug on the floor (while he was sitting on it) until he was back in the middle of things. Needless to say, we didn’t use that one anymore

As my boys have gotten older, we have changed our punishment strategies. The best investment we made was when we gave them iPod touches for Christmas; they don’t like it when we take them away!

AlreadySheared

May 3rd, 2012
11:28 am

@high school teacher
We are sympatico.
My two other rules for spanking:
1) Never in anger
(I know the wingnuts out there will not believe this)
and
2) ALWAYS known as a consequence known to both of us in advance.
Examples
“if you mess with your seatbelt or the car door while I am driving, you WILL get a spanking”
“if you get out of time out before I tell you to, you WILL get a spanking”

When our kids were young (up to about age 5) we used time out to good effect, but it was one minute per year of child’s age, sitting in a chair in the middle of the kitchen which was too tall for their feet to reach the ground. Or, when we were dining out, strapped into their car seat out in the parking lot (yes, there were periods of my life where I didn’t necessarily get to eat my food hot in restaurants).

The following link, by the way is hilarious and insightful, but probably not safe for work (it IS a South Park episode)
http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s10e07-tsst

jj

May 3rd, 2012
1:38 pm

He should have opened the door to the cage, let the little darling stick his hand in and let the cat bite the hell out of it. Would the mother then be demanding the “ferocious” cat be put down, and the owner be sued?

bu2

May 3rd, 2012
2:31 pm

@already sheared, NBCT
So its ok for adults to lose their temper and strike someone else’s child and break the law, but heaven forbid that a 4 year old child fails to follow directions. You are putting a higher standard on a 4 year old than on a 42 year old. Your stances are totally illogical.

And you are condemning a child who may be undisciplined, but may have many other good qualities. Naturally, your children (if you have any) are perfect in every single way and much superior to this child.

I guess I’m not surprised Maureen isn’t attaching the article in today’s AJC about the many cases of teacher abuse of special needs children in Fulton County, to the extent they are thinking of putting cameras in classrooms. (its a tough job and special needs teachers are a special breed-if they aren’t like the ones in the story).

bu2

May 3rd, 2012
2:39 pm

The title should be:
Are adults losing perspective when others’ children do wrong?

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
2:45 pm

Exactly.

AlreadySheared

May 3rd, 2012
2:46 pm

@bu2:
And I suppose your child sings “Who’s got the greatest mom in the world? I do!”

Good luck with that, m’kay?

Charlene

May 3rd, 2012
3:44 pm

For all of u posting on this and do not have children and have never worked with children u have no ro to speak … A child will be a child and till he is about 8-9 he will not understand right from wrong and that all animals and humans are politically correct!!!! He is a child how dare u blame the mother no matter what the kid is Doing he is a KID and don’t call the mother a bad mother u don’t know her story what her day was like or what she doing I’m sure she was watching him and in a split second a child can turn from her attention it happens to all parents and all teachers…. U don’t know anything if u do not have a kid or have never worked with them do how dare u call someone a BAD MOTHER that is just wrong and hurtful and u don’t know her to say that there are parents out there that clearly ate bad moms an u can tell by there child and this women is not a bad mother bc her son was curious and wanted to pet a cat …. All kids are curious all kids want to touch animals my son loves my dog and follows her around and when other dogs are around he tries to do the same thing not all dogs and cats and HUMANS (in this case) are nice kids don’t know that so quit trying to make the mother put to be the bad guy the real bad guy is the man who laid his han on a child instead if asking the mother can u pls tell ur son to leave me and my cat alone the correct way of going about it not laying ur hand on a child all I have to say is YOU GO GIRL an dont let these ppl bring u down ur a great mom and these ppl obviously either have no life or no kids

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
4:05 pm

@bu2
So its ok for a child to run amuck and mess with another persons sick animal after being told repeatedly not to touch it. God forbid if the person, whose property is being attacked, corrects the child while the parent is oblivious. Your stance is totally illogical.

gamom

May 3rd, 2012
4:13 pm

bu2 – thank you for your insightful posts…ignore the trolls..

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
4:21 pm

@gamom
Wow so now because someone has a different perspective,.. they are trolls. You are out of control.

I am irritated over this article because it amplifies so many parents who are NOT parenting and become mad when others become upset with their children’s bad behavior.

I must concede,.. I do not think it is right to hit another persons child. However, I am sick and tired of parents not doing their parental duty and then defending their kids bad behavior. Especially when the child is affecting another persons adversely. All i hear is your outrage over the man striking the child. I don’t hear your disgust at the kids bad behavior, which is exactly the problem. You have narrow focus only on the child and don’t care about anything else.

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
4:22 pm

@ amplifies = exemplifies

gamom

May 3rd, 2012
4:32 pm

I typically don’t condemn 4 year olds! The child is FOUR. I sure hope you don’t have young children because they will try your patience. Even if you are the best parent in the world, they do things.. they act up… and no 4 year old is maliciously trying to bother a kitty cat. 4 year olds are inherently curious. Please do tell …do you have kids?

gamom

May 3rd, 2012
4:40 pm

Try raising 4 year old twins, I couldn’t go anywhere without hearing some stupid comments that were A. Uninvited and B. None of their business. It would be nice if someone perhaps offered a hand or even a kind word, but always, always….people are so quick to judge!

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
4:52 pm

Yes I have kids, 4 and 7 year old boys. I am not asking you to condemn them and I don’t believe the man did by giving him a whack on the butt. I am asking you to understand that the man asked the child to stop messing with his cat and the parent was not able to control her child. She admits this,.. how this is possible is beyond me. She should have removed the child from the area so the child would not have messed with the mans cat.

The cat was sick (hence the vet) and the kid would not stop and so he whacked him on the butt. I do not see the big deal. I, personally, would not be put off. In fact I would asjk what happened and apologize for my child messing with his personal property. However, my kids know better than to go over and touch anything that belongs to someone else without permission,… even at 2 they got that concept.

I understand the woman may not be an oblivious parent and the child is not evil demon-seed. But no one cares about the man with the cat. What if that cat was his world and he was protecting it?

gamom

May 3rd, 2012
4:58 pm

But you were not there! You are making many assumptions, all the facts have not been publicized. All of this probably took place in a matter of 15 seconds and it was probably bad judgment on the dood’s part. Perhaps little munchkin just simply slipped out of mothers grip in a blink of an eye.. You do not know that. And apparently swatting someone else’s child is illegal. (also mind – boggling to me because educators in this dumb state get to spank other people’s children all the time and they are immune, never arrested, heck no one really cares! The laws are seriously messed up.

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
5:07 pm

Of course I was not there, none of us were save Brandy (says she was – IDK really)

I am going off what the story said, like you. The difference is that I don’t see the big deal with a whack on the butt. However, he should not have done it. Its not his kid. I admit that is something I would not do. I wish he would have done this differently.

But come on gamom,.. you have seen parents with out of control kids haven’t ya? They practically expect others to tolerate their kid bad behavior. The kid was old enough to know better and didn’t. This lets you know that the mom didn’t train her child to respect others and their property.

Another thing,.. many on here were quick to condemn the man. He is considered the villain but he was a victim as well. I know several people how love their pets like others love children and there is nothing wrong with that (though I don’t share that emotion). Wouldn’t you protect your child that was sick from being harassed or further damage? Why don’t we care about him?

NBCT

May 3rd, 2012
5:16 pm

@gamom – “Try raising 4 year old twins” – you have my condolences LOL

I understand your perspective as well. People can be SO inconsiderate and intolerant of kids. Its a difficult thing really.
However that have a right to be that way and a right to their personal space and privacy. Thats the way I look at it. This is why I have made sure that my kids respect others and OBEY what I tell them to do. My littlest one (4yo) is the type to run out in traffic or drink beach. I have to watch him like a hawk and I do,.. especially around other people.

bootney farnsworth

May 3rd, 2012
5:21 pm

what an overall pantload.
and on so many fronts.

1-spanking is not the same as a beating by a long shot. anyone who can’t differentiate between the two is well below stupid. anyone who can’t is a PC zombie.

2-dude shoulda loudly told the woman to get her damn brat under control or he would for her. only thing he did wrong was not to very publically call the alleged mother down – THEN swat the kid.

3-if you don’t want people disiplining your child, then DO IT YOURSELF.

4-back in the long long ago, if the neighbor took a switch to me (often happened) my parents would also do the same for making the neighbor have to.

5-once upon a time we looked out for each other, knew our neighbors, and behaved in public.

6-if junior doesn’t get disipline at home, he WILL get it on the street.
or in the jail cell after lights out.

7-mess with my pets after I tell you not to, I’ll swat you, too.

again – what a liberal pantload.

bootney farnsworth

May 3rd, 2012
5:22 pm

upon reflection dude did do one mistake.
should have swatted mom, too.

bootney farnsworth

May 3rd, 2012
5:24 pm

having to watch and be responsible for your kid is part of the parental deal. don’t want to do it? don’t have kids.

see how simple this is?

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
6:55 pm

“Of course I was not there, none of us were save Brandy (says she was – IDK really)”

I was, I have no reason to lie.
I saw and know the entire story.

brandy

May 3rd, 2012
6:59 pm

I am a twin. Glad it skips a generation.

Concerned

May 4th, 2012
10:12 am

What has this world come to? Are people really this ignorant to comment or publish an article without knowing facts of the situation and only relying on minimal information thay have obtained. Do people really think it is their right to form opinions on people or their children without really knowing them? Ask yourself if this situation would have been different if it had happened in a school setting. Would you be supporting the school staff for swatting ( so nicely stated) or slapping a child? Remember this is a four year old child we are talking about here. Do you know this child or were you there to witness this event? The writer of this article as well as all people making their ignorant comments should be ashamed. What is this was your child?

gamom

May 4th, 2012
2:02 pm

@Concerned — They do spank children every day in Georgia Schools – it’s legal, and usually done with a ‘wooden paddle’.. Maureen has done several blogs on this issue… And 11 Alive Atlanta did an investigative report and found in 2010/2011 OVER 21,000 INCIDENTS WERE REPORTED. AND NO ONE IS BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE, it’s Georgia’s dirty little secret. I am disgusted with all the people who post their nonsense about slapping children….IT IS LESS AND LESS ACCEPTABLE and especially so for educators who do so or even believe in it. Educators show how DUMB they are when they support this spanking CRAP!

NBCT

May 4th, 2012
2:10 pm

@gamom – tell us how you really feel ….. lol

LongTime Teacher

May 6th, 2012
4:11 pm

Parents have changed. Now children are attached to their parents. Whatever is done to the child is taken personally by the parent. No longer can a teacher discipline a child without the parent taking offense. This makes teaching very difficlut. Teachers would be so much more effective if children came to school with discipline or the parents backed the teacher if the child had to be disciplined in school. The discipline of students is a great underlying pressure on teachers and affects the ability of the whole class to learn.

Is the cat out of the bag? Are parents losing perspective when our kids do wrong?

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Is the cat out of the bag? Are parents losing perspective when our kids do wrong?

244 comments Add your comment

About Get Schooled

Search this blog

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Archives

More from the AJC

Are You or Your School the ‘Best In Class’?

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Tell us what you think about the site

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