Is the cat out of the bag? Are parents losing perspective when our kids do wrong?
A recurring issue on this blog is how to deal with out-of-control children in the classroom. Hundreds of you responded to the story last month on the police handcuffing of a 6-year-old kindergartner in Milledgeville, most expressing support for the school’s decision to bring in police.
This new AJC story did not take place in the classroom but it neatly reflects the dilemma of how to handle kids who may be endangering others. In this case, the other was a cat recovering from surgery in the waiting room of a north Fulton’s vet office. The story speaks to how conflicted we are as to what to do about kids whose parents either can’t or won’t restrain them.
My husband and I debated this story this morning. He contends that the frantic cat owner crossed the line when he swatted the 4-year-old who was allegedly harassing the man’s sick cat.
As I have said many times, I don’t believe in corporal punishment at home or in school. Beyond nostalgia, there is nothing that suggests beating kids produces better behaved or healthier human beings. In fact, the research suggests the opposite. There is hardly a child in juvenile lockup who was not raised by the belt, cord or switch.
But I don’t have a problem with a pet owner lightly swatting a kid’s backside because the child is sticking his hand in the cage of sick animal and will not heed warnings to stop. Nor is the parent, for whatever reason, stopping the child. The child’s actions posed a danger to himself and the sick animal.
Given the facts as reported, the arrest of the pet owner seems an extreme response.
I had a conversation this week with a parent who wanted to complain about the attitude and comments of a teacher who took her daughter’s phone from her in class. I asked if phones were allowed in the classroom, and the mom told me they were not. I told the mom that there was nothing else really left to discuss. Whether the teacher was abrasive in how she took the phone or in the tone she used to the errant student didn’t matter to me if the kid was in open violation of a classroom policy.
I find an increasingly odd attitude among parents: Yes, my kid did something wrong, but you weren’t nice in how you responded and that’s what we ought to be fixing.
A woman who called police to the scene said she had brought a family pet into the clinic, and was in the waiting room with her 4-year-old son. The mother told an officer that “she was having trouble controlling her son,” the police report said.
Trouble began when the boy reached for a cat in a carrier. The cat belonged to 42-year-old Russel B. Baughcum. The cat recently had surgery, and the Suwanee man was there to pick it up. Baughcum told the officer that the youngster repeatedly reached for the animal, the incident report said. The man said he told the child to stop, but the boy grabbed hold of the cage and tried to pull it off a chair. The man said he shouted, “Stop! Stop! Stop!” and struck the child lightly on his lower back and buttocks.
“Mr. Baughcum demonstrated that he struck the child in a back handed fashion, and that the contact was light enough that he didn’t think the child knew he had been touched,” the police report said. Two clinic employees said they witnessed the man strike the child on his rear when the boy tried to play with the cat, according to the incident report.
The boy’s mother insisted on pressing charges, so Baughcum was arrested and charged, police said. He was taken to the Fulton County Jail Alpharetta Annex. The veterinary clinic kept the cat for him to pick up later. Jail officials told Channel 2 that Baughcum posted $1,000 bond and was released Tuesday morning.
–From Maureen Downey, for the AJC Get Schooled blog
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244 comments Add your comment
Matt
May 2nd, 2012
11:32 am
The cat owner shouldn’t have spanked the child but really it is the mother’s fault for allowing her child to “repeatedly” bother the cat! She should have disciplined her child and defused the situation rather that playing with her iPhone or whatever she was doing! Really my 2 year old sounds better behaved than this 4 year old and I wouldn’t have to spank him to get him to stop misbehaving. The man should not have spanked the child but the mother should not have even allowed that situation to escalate.
bu2
May 2nd, 2012
11:32 am
@APS parent
A stranger should never discipline someone else’s child. If this child was drumming on a seat in the vets office and annoying everyone, the proper response is either to ask the parent to get the child to stop or politely ask the child to stop. If you see a child messing with a display in a retail store in a way that doesn’t harm them, its none of your business to correct the child.
With the cat, the proper response was to move the cat or remove the child’s hands, not to discipline him. In America, people have no right to impose their values and judgements and choices of family discipline on others. Those who want to seem to be lacking the discipline of politeness, something that has declined far more during my lifetime than self-discipline of children. And the negative impacts of the loss of politeness are reflected every day in the politics of governing our nation, states, cities and most especially, schools.
Tonya C.
May 2nd, 2012
11:37 am
APS Parent:
At 31, I still remember those days. I dare not misbehave in public or in my neighborhood b/c there would be heck to pay. Adults were given respect because they were adults, and you toed the line b/c you knew better.
I’ve been criticized for raising my children old school. But when they go places, people almost always comment on ho well-behaved they are. They didn’t get that way from Dr. Spock or worrying about ‘crushing their spirits’.
Another Math Teacher
May 2nd, 2012
11:37 am
Maureen Downey: “There is hardly a child in juvenile lockup who was not raised by the belt, cord or switch.”
[Citation needed]
Mom of an autistic teenager and a 4year old
May 2nd, 2012
11:37 am
This parent is failing at her job to raise a child. No excuse for a child to torment a sick animal. The article mentions that the man shouted NO and yet she couldn’t control her child. He didn’t hurt the child or punch the mom. He swatted the behind of an out of control child that was being cruel to another living creature.
I would hope my 4 year old wouldn’t behave this way but if she did I don’t see a problem with the man teaching her a lesson with a swat on the butt. I have had issues with my autistic teen and I wouldn’t care if some one tried to spank him or more likely put him in a headlock since he is 5′10″ 135lbs. The problem is he wouldn’t understand the physical action was from misbehavior- he just doesn’t get cause and effect. BUT, I know better then to leave him unattended in the company of strangers and I certainly wouldn’t allow him to touch any thing or person without my yelling at him and apologizing for his action. This is all on the parent.
And for the love of time of life – who wasted the police and court systems time on calling 911 and pressing charges. This parent and her snowflake need to get a life.
Snafu
May 2nd, 2012
11:40 am
The most striking part of the story is the woman admitting she could not control her little brat. When Baughcum told the child not to touch the cage the mother should have intervened at that point and not waited until it escalated to the point of the man having to tap that child’s backside. Since the mother admitted she had absolutely NO CONTROL over her spoiled little brat the Baughcum gets arrested for what she should have done at home. The child is 4 years old and it goes to show that the parent did not and has not shown any responsibility in discipling that child.
The most pathetic thing is we have parents who fail miserably in discipling their children that when they do act in public or school the parents are quick to place blame on others. You hear it and see it in the stores, resturants, etc. We understand when children get a little cranky, no problem but the parents need to take action and stop pretending its alright to disturb others.
NCR
May 2nd, 2012
11:41 am
1st, the guy shouldn’t touch somebody else’s kid, especially a little boy. PERIOD.
2nd, He should have asked the mother to immediately control the kid and prevent touching the cat. If that didn’t work, he should have asked the staff.
3rd, if that didn’t work, he should threaten the mother will an animal cruelty lawsuit, that would get her up off her a** and help resolve the situation.
At the end of the day, it’s the MOTHER’S RESPONSIBILITY to control her kid. If she can’t do it, then she needs to PAY. PERIOD. END OF STORY.
Tonya C.
May 2nd, 2012
11:41 am
bu2:
That’s a perfectly fine description. But can we stop these same dunces from wanting to file a lawsuit when their kid is hurt or maimed? I believe people can raise their children however they like as long as they deal with the outcome of those decisions. But far too often the general public is the only truly harmed party in much of it.
I’m not being facetious at all, I’m being serious. If the cat had scratched the kid, then what? What if the man has special needs and this is his only real companion? Does that change anything?
Frankie
May 2nd, 2012
11:45 am
maybe I am missing the obvious, where was the mother…Yes the man should not have struck but simply grabbed the boy and said to the mother WILL YOU CONTROL YOUR SON…..
THiss hould not have resulted in an arrest of anyone let alone the pet owner…..
THe mothr needs to pay him his bail money back and get some help for her son….
Snafu
May 2nd, 2012
11:45 am
Here is another thing, what if the cat would have bit or scratched the child? Would he be responsible for that too? I have seen parents discipline their children or leave but there are many who feel that having a misbehaved, spoiled, tamper tantrum throwing child is not their fault. Of course, when the parent opens their mouth you can see why the child acts a certain way. I say spank the little brat for its not cute.
GFY
May 2nd, 2012
11:48 am
Couldn’t control the child or did not want to have to do the tough part and actually control the child. If she could not control the child then DFACS should come relieve her of her responsibilities. What a useless parent.
Frankie
May 2nd, 2012
11:49 am
ANd when I say grabed I mean i a fashion so that he does not touch the cage. grab his wrist and say do not touch the cage….
Frankie
May 2nd, 2012
11:53 am
I have seen too many parents in the store allowing there children to roam about causing mischief….
I had to say to two kids the other day..where are your parents and you need to be with them..then i found a store employee, explained the situation and asked thenm to make sure they got back to their parents.
THe crazy part about the whole thing was wheni finished shopping, the kids were out side running around, i assume, there car anda parent was inside the car…
I made eye contact with the person inside the car and just shook my head in disgust….
Rob
May 2nd, 2012
12:01 pm
@ Maureen Downey,
Look…if that was my kid and someone physically disciplined him/her other than me or without my permission, being arrested would be that person’s blessing after I demonstrated what it means to be physically corrected.
Frankie
May 2nd, 2012
12:10 pm
@delusional mother….why should the man and his pet have to move anywhere…the mother should have grabbed HER SON and desolved the whole situation…the boy grabbed the cat more than once…and what would you have the man do if he did move and the boy simply moved with him…is he supposed to leave because a parent can not control her CHILD…
You are right in tha fact that the man was the adult and he was protecting his property….PERIOD…
Put the blame where it shuold go to the PARENT…….
Snafu
May 2nd, 2012
12:16 pm
@bu2..why would the man have to move? If Baughcum told the child to stop it was the MOTHER’s responsibility at that point to keep her child with HER! How many times does someone have to say stop to a child and th parents look the other way? The MOTHER is just at much at fault as Baughcum tapping the child’s behind. So two wrongs don’t make it right!
And you say no one else should discipline your child well that is the attitude that most parents who have no control over their child would say, if they grow up thinking they can do they please the police will discipline them, the courts will punish them, if they go to school the teacher will discipline them, now what? The MOTHER was in the presence of the child and she failed to discipline HER child, period!
Morrigan
May 2nd, 2012
12:20 pm
“STRIKING A CHILD!!! HITTING! BEATING!” Inaccurate and hysterical language of the Child-Worshippers. I don’t worship them, so keep your kids in line around smaller, weaker creatures or I will.
The man swatted the boy on the butt because Mommie (I wonder does she still nurse the brat?) was prob on her cell phone, or smiling weakly while watching the brat try to pull the cage off the chair, or some other response that showed she has no clue. She couldn’t be bothered moving own butt to do anything until Snowflake got (less than) what was coming to him.
I had a similar thing happen at the emergency vet a few years ago but at the time it was still sufficient to say to the kid, “Get away from the cage and leave my sick cat alone.” Yep, mommy and daddy were right there but they had the sense to be embarrassed. Years later at the vet’s, a silly, giggling woman whose main priority was to draw any and all attention to herself was allowing her dog to crowd me and my cat cage. I turned around and said loudly, “Please keep your dog away from my cat,” and she giggled, “I’m TRYING!” I replied, “No, you’re not trying. YOU keep the dog away or I will.” More tee-heeing but at least she pulled back. I guarantee you Miss Eyes-On-Me never got a much-needed swat years ago, but I don’t let her stupidity become my cat’s problem.
This kid will be one with no compassion or common sense. What do you want to bet there’s no father at home?
mountain man
May 2nd, 2012
12:29 pm
The MOTHER here deserved a good spanking (along with her child). I hope they throw this case out and investigate the mother for child neglect.
And Maureen, if you did some research, you might find out that those in prison never received proper discipline – beatings, yes, maybe, but not a well-placed spanking immediately and consistently applied. On the other hand, you will probably find that most corporate CEO and otherwise good citizens can point back, like I can, to their own upbringing, where the “switch” was judiciously applied (along with “standing in the corner”.
NotSam
May 2nd, 2012
12:31 pm
It doesn’t matter where you go, a high percentage of parents are lacking in basic parenting skills. There’s fenced in yards for dogs in my neighborhood, but the children (5-8) are left to play in the road unattended. Any store you go in has kids without parents near (remember the attempted kidnapping in WalMart several months back?). Restaurants have holy terrors disturbing other customers. This mother should have paid attention to her child, should have monitored him, sat him next to her, or removed him. Instead she let him run around and do as he pleased. Others are right, if he’d been injured it would have been the man’s fault. Yet, the man finally got pushed too far and tries to minimize the impact (although I would have chosen a vocal approach!) and he goes to jail. He stepped over the line, but the mother was immensely more at fault.
da bear
May 2nd, 2012
12:33 pm
If you watched teh news report, he is a monster. He “attacked” the Innocent child. His “assault” on the child was noted, no mention AT ALL of the uncontrollability of the child.
Channel five should be arrested for slanting the news, not simply reporting it.
Morrigan
May 2nd, 2012
12:33 pm
And I agree entirely with the poster who said Non-Mommy’s name should be published too. The fact that it wasn’t says loud and clear that her actions were stupid and uncalled-for.
mathmom
May 2nd, 2012
12:34 pm
Perhaps the gentleman was not physically able to lift and move the pet carrier – especially if this was a large cat – not everyone can just pick those things up.
DebbieDoRight
May 2nd, 2012
12:38 pm
Wow! I don’t have children but I do have neices, nephews and stepchildren. When they were little, before we went anywhere, i’d scare the beejesus outta them by telling them if they acted up in public all kinds of hell would happen to them, (by me), later.
When they started to act up, all I’d have to do was LOOK at them, and they’d subside.
I don’t blame the child for his actions, i blame his lazy mother. Discipline and the respect for rules and learning the mores of the society is the PARENT’s responsibility.
she chose to advocate her role and then wanted to holler “foul!” when someone else taught the child a lesson the parent should’ve taught him.
Father of Children Similiar to One in Story
May 2nd, 2012
12:38 pm
If any of you touched my kids without first consenting with me it was okay I would beat you into next week. I would then handle whatever problem you thought deserved physical contact, but that is a parent decision not some wussy cat owner’s.
Just another teacher
May 2nd, 2012
12:43 pm
@ Maureen Is there any form of fund being set up for Mr Baughcum’s legal defense? If not, would you mind do it? I’ll contribute.
I’m getting out of teaching this year due to students being allowed to do anything they want. I had a parent complain about me recently because I dared take up their precious child’s rubber bands that they were using to shoot spitballs across my room. Apparently, I made their child feel bad and the parent felt I needed to apologize to them.
It’s the same d***ed thing. I’m over it. I hate leaving a career that I was proud of for over 20 years, but I’m not proud of it anymore. I just feel sorry for any other teacher that is still putting up with this garbage.
DJ Sniper
May 2nd, 2012
12:43 pm
I’m in agreement with everybody else on this one. My mother recently retired after 40 years of teaching, and in her last few years, this is the type of nonsense she had to deal with. Far too many parents out here seem to have this idea that their children can do no wrong and that everybody else is the problem.
I wish I had the financial means to get this guy a kick-a** attorney to get these charges dismissed.
mountain man
May 2nd, 2012
12:44 pm
Father of Children Similiar to One in Story – So you just let your children run wild and then threaten anyone who objects to your neglect – you are one sick puppy and do not deserve to have custody of your children.
gamom
May 2nd, 2012
12:45 pm
Nobody should be swatting somebody else’s child. Period. End of Story. And corporal punishment is still going on in Georgia Schools.. 11 alive recently did an investigative report – over 21,000 incidents reported in 1 school year. It is innapropriate!..How about moving the cat to where it wasn’t in reach?
gamom
May 2nd, 2012
12:46 pm
Here is the link! http://www.11alive.com/news/article/226264/3/Pain-as-punishment-Legal-in-Ga-schools
DebbieDoRight
May 2nd, 2012
12:49 pm
If you see a child messing with a display in a retail store in a way that doesn’t harm them, its none of your business to correct the child.
i think that’s why we have the problems we do today. whatever happened to the nosey neighbor who told on all the neighborhood kids? you were afraid to do anything around her because you knew she’d run back and tell your folks.
what happened to grandma stepping in and helping her kids’ kids? grandma’s these days don’t want to be bothered. they’re too busy trying to “bring sexy back” to care about anything else.
earl
May 2nd, 2012
12:50 pm
when you have kids you have to raise them correctly. its a pity & a shame how the kids are running the whole show. they should respect the word no this pampering needs to stop or society is going 2 deal with it. that arrest should not have happened.
Maureen Downey
May 2nd, 2012
12:50 pm
@Another, Here is a good summation:
http://www.nospank.net/welsh3.htm
Dr. Ralph Welsh who has given psychological examinations to over 2,000 delinquents, has developed what he calls. “The Belt Theory of Juvenile Delinquency.”
He writes:
“The recidivist male delinquent who has never been exposed to the belt, extension cord or fist at some time in his life is virtually non-existent. As the severity of corporal punishment in the delinquent’s developmental history increases, so does the probability that he will engage in a violent act.”
bu2
May 2nd, 2012
12:50 pm
Rob-LOL. Yes, I share that feeling. What I did later with the child would be my business.
Those who want to discipline other’s children should realize the most dangerous call for police is domestic disputes. Police are more at risk of being killed answering those calls than anything else.
Tonya C-you’ve got nanny state lawmakers that want to interpose themselves in our choices about raising our children and also allowing people to sue for things that are their own fault. We need to have fewer tort lawyers in the legislature. Being able to sue for nonsenical reasons is a different issue. Juries are generally pretty reasonable, but sometimes you wonder how they ever found liability.
Morrigan
May 2nd, 2012
12:53 pm
bu2: “In America, people have no right to impose their values and judgements and choices of family discipline on others. ”
Unless you’re a Mommy, then your rights trump all others. “Choices” of family discipline, yeah, right…..”Darling, have you CHOSEN to stop bothering that man’s cat, or not yet?”
Lilburn Lady
May 2nd, 2012
12:53 pm
This is less about any harm to the child and more about Mommy’s embarrassment at having another adult have to control her child because she obviously cannot. Every parent wants to think that they are a good parent, just like every driver thinks they are a good driver. Then, the accident happens and somehow it’s someone else’s fault. Mommy was humiliated in a public place by her child’s out of control behavior, so she is going to make it someone else’s fault.
I imagine this 4-year-old will end up not only abusing his own pets, but probably lashing out physically at Mommy when he is older. If you don’t make your child aware of who is the dominant person in the parent-child relationship at a very early age (I’m talking toddler), then by the time they are 11 or 12, your window of opportunity to have some measure of respectful behavior from that child later on in life, has closed. I see way too much of this “child-centered” method of child-rearing. It ends up with a young adult who has way too much self-esteem, thinks he/she should be the center of the universe and has no coping skills to deal with reality once they are out in the world.
gamom
May 2nd, 2012
12:53 pm
A couple of weeks ago – The ABC show called What Would You Do – aired a segment on Autism. A child was portrayed as having autism and demonstrating behaviors that were unacceptable norms in a restaurant establishment. I loved watching all the ignorance and stupid comments made by many people toward the parents — It’s almost identical to the comments on the AJC blogs when something comes up about a child that acts out. You don’t know where that child is coming from – whether the child has a disability, may be hungry , maybe abused or neglected at home! You don’t swat the child, you don’t take it out on the child. You deal with it! You act like an adult….unlike so many who comment constantly on these blogs — who want to throw daggers and attack the child or attack the mom.. FOR ALL you know the Mother is overwhelmed too, might be an abusive relationship too. You just don’t know.. STOP PASSING JUDGMENT and do the sensible thing as an outside adult. This person should have and could have moved the kitty cat, or even employed the staff to give him a hand…because it was obvious he wasn’t getting help from the mom!
Tonya C.
May 2nd, 2012
1:01 pm
bu2:
Fair enough. I agree then.
But using the legal system even when you’re wrong as all get out is not unusual. Personal rights seems to have trumped the greater good—even when the personal right is wrong. Some examples: I have a pool, but your child jumps my fence and drowns? I get sued. A child runs amuck in a store and injures themself? The store is sued. A teacher or administrator attempts to protect themselves or other students from an out-of control child? Protest and/or lawsuit.
The reactions of many on this blog isn’t from bad people. It’s from many who are tired of the lack of civility, responsibility, and common sense. No one WANTS to discipline any one else’s child. We all have our hands full with our own issues. But all too often when we tell people, especially when it comes to education, that they can’t just care about their own kids, what kind of mixed message are we sending?
DJ Sniper
May 2nd, 2012
1:02 pm
GAmom, stop acting like we’re all bad guys here. You know good and well that there are plenty of out of control kids out here whose parents s**t bricks when someone else steps in to correct bad behavior.
Morrigan
May 2nd, 2012
1:04 pm
Father of Children Similar = bully raising bullies.
gamom
May 2nd, 2012
1:08 pm
DJ – — WHAT IS YOUR POINT? Yeah, I’ve seen bad behavior, I’ve raised kids, and I will say it again…you all want to pass judgment on the mother and the kid.. THAT IS WRONG, that is what is wrong with our society.. You all would do this or do that, and you are holier than thou..as if your kids have never done wrong, or you’re way of raising children is better than everyone else’s. I’m calling you on it. You have no idea what the mother’s life is like, or the child’s, you don’t know if the kid may have a behavior disorder or autism, YOU Have no idea! There is never a reason for someone to hit, slap, spank, beat, touch in any way another adults’ child. PERIOD. Get over it! I would have pressed charges too, yes I would have
bu2
May 2nd, 2012
1:12 pm
@Snafu
He should move because he is trying to solve the problem in a polite way. If you get mad because you are right, you have situations like Martin/Zimmerman where both thought they were right and one got killed.
@Debbie-That’s right. Its none of your business. You don’t know the child. Maybe you can help the store by telling management. But you aren’t the neighbor or relative. Do right with your own family, not your version of right with others. And I don’t even want my relatives disciplining my children in a manner that is inconsistent with the way we do it.
Mountain Man
May 2nd, 2012
1:16 pm
They posted a picture of the man in this case – I would like to see a picture of the mom.
I think that this child will grow up to be a discipline problem in school, hopefully removed to an alternative school, will probably quit school and will most likely end up in jail. This mom is NOT doing her child any favors by taking sides against the man. She should have marched over, took her child firmly in hand, apologized for what her child had done, and then said “I will handle his discipline from now on”. Unfortunately, the man had very few options – move the cat? To where, where could this 4-year old not reach it? Give the cat back to the receptionist until he was ready to leave? Why did the receptionist at the vet not call down the mother of the 4-year old and if she did not control him, ask her to leave, and if she refused, call the police on her? She was allowing her son to be exposed to all sorts of dangers from other people’s pets – dog bites, cat scratches. That is why she should be investigated for child neglect.
catlady
May 2nd, 2012
1:19 pm
@Ms. Downety at 12:50. Correlation is not causation. Serving coffee does not cause air turbulance. Ie kids who behave violently tend to be punished violently. No way to say the reports of being mistreated are true, but even if they are, no telling if the punishments were extreme because the behavior was so extreme.
Perhaps the man shoould sue the woman for the additional injury and trauma her son caused the cat. $1000 should cover it.
Mountain Man
May 2nd, 2012
1:21 pm
“The recidivist male delinquent who has never been exposed to the belt, extension cord or fist at some time in his life is virtually non-existent.”
Again, Maureen, you are confusing abuse with corporal punishment. A fist? There is a lot of difference between a beating with a fist and a spanking with an open hand on the backside (or even a “switch” for that matter”). You are also mistakenly addressing corporal punishment as a cause of delinquincy. If it were truly a cause, than all of us who had been spanked would now be delinquent and criminals – and 90% of us are not.
Tonya C.
May 2nd, 2012
1:24 pm
I will say this…this is why so many people are fighting for the right to send their children to the school of their choice. Why certain neighborhoods are considered ‘good’ and others not so much. Why vouchers WILL catch on and public school will eventually be a place where only those without options go. And the bad part: people will have no guilt about it. Why should they? They have no ‘right’ to tell anyone how to raise their children or even speak to bad behavior of said kids.
That’s both sad and telling.
Mountain Man
May 2nd, 2012
1:26 pm
When my son was about 4, he threw his first (and only) temper tantrum in a grocery store when he wanted a toy. My wife took him immediately outside and administered a good spanking, while telling him “we do NOT buy toys at a grocery store”. He never threw another tantrum for a toy, and he would tell us years later – I remember – we don’t buy toys at a grocery store!” A little discipline at the right time is amazing – but what if she had tried “comforting” him, and finished her shopping, then an hour later, made him go into “time out” for four minutes after we got back home? He probably would STILL be throwing temper tantrums.
bu2
May 2nd, 2012
1:27 pm
Tonya C
You’re right. The legal system is out of control. And even if the sued person wins, he still has to pay legal fees. The same thing applies with the police for this man who seems to have had a momentary loss of self-control. I know someone who got arrested for DUI despite scoring 0.0% on the breathalyzer because of a little bit of a balance problem when doing the field test. It cost $25,000 in legal fees to get it dismissed.
That’s why the man should have moved the cat and separated himself from the problem as best he could.
Mountain Man
May 2nd, 2012
1:28 pm
Or worse yet, what if my wife had IGNORED his behavior (thus reinforcing it) or EVEN WORSE, just bought him the toy to shut him up? He would probably be in prison now.
Ole Guy
May 2nd, 2012
1:28 pm
The one over-riding issue which parents…for that matter, the adult world…has failed to include in dealing with youth is FEAR; pure unadulterated FEAR. Fear of consequences, fear of castigation by peers and superiors alike, and, ultimately, fear of “self assesment”. All this fear boils down to DISCIPLINE, both within the sociely (like leaving the man’s cat alone), and, more importantly, SELF DISCIPLINE…doing the right thing, not because we’re being watched, but simply because, contrary to what our self-servingb instincts may tell us, we just do the right thing.
I realize these…and many other…thoughts the Ole Guy may usher forth are considered ole fashioned and not at all in keeping with the culture in which youth has been suspended. However, as I’ve indicated many times, there simply IS NO OTHER WAY. Yes, we have all…not just parents…lost perspective in the wayward behaviors of youth. We can’t look at the kid crosseyed without drawing the wrath of some damn pc-dominated interest. Quite frankly, it’s our own damn fault for allowing this state of events to have ever crept into the lives of youth. The only…repeat, ONLY…thing we can do is start…RAT DAMN NOW…assuming control over the day-to-day/minute-to-minute lives of the kids over whom we bear responsibility. Anything else, as Baron Rich once said, is rubish.
gamom
May 2nd, 2012
1:29 pm
The only thing that is guarranteed when you spank a child is that they will become the spanker when they grow up. There is no evidence that it is effective either. It might and I mean might stop the behavior for the short term, but you really are not teaching the kid anything because kids model adult behavior. The problem with it still going on in schools is that there have been cases of abuse and the current laws in Georgia give wide immunity to teachers who use this type of ‘discipline’. It is innapropriate in schools because you cannot trust someone else to use this type of discipline on your child. Parents should never give permission for a school to use it, because they are potentially exposign their children to harm and abusers exploit loopholes all too often. Penn State comes to mind