New survey: Poorest parents spend the most on prom. Are we all crazy?
In a fashion story, the AJC featured two prom dresses that each cost $375. No wonder proms end up costing more than $1,000. (Phil Skinner/AJC)
Having spent last night looking at prom photos posted on Facebook this weekend by proud mamas, I was stunned to see this AJC story today: A new survey shows that the average American family with teenagers plans to spend $1,078 — that’s for each child — on the prom, a 33.6 percent increase over the $807 spent last year.
The Visa survey finds that families in the lower income brackets, less than $50,000, plan to spend even more — $1,307 per child. And those in the very lowest bracket, under $20,000, plan to spend $1,200 — more than 6 percent of their annual income.
But here’s the shocker: Families earning between $20,000 and $30,000 plan to spend an average of $2,635, which would represent almost 9 percent of annual income for those making $30,000. Those families are just above the federal poverty level, which is $23,050 for a family of four.
Many metro schools had their proms this weekend. How much did you spend on your child’s event?
“Prom season spending is spiraling out of control as teens continuously try to one-up each other,” said Jason Alderman, senior director of global financial education for Visa. “It’s important to remember that the prom is a high school dance, not a wedding, and parents need to set limits in order to demonstrate financial responsibility.”
That advice is apparently falling on deaf ears, however, as the survey found that parents are planning to pay an average of 61 percent of the cost. Alderman said that’s one of the problems.
“One of the reasons that prom spending may be running amok is that parents are paying the vast majority of the costs, giving teens little incentive to economize,” he said.
There were sharp regional differences in the amounts people were planning to pay. The Northeast was the highest by far, at $1,944, followed by the South at $1,047, the West at $744 and the Midwest at $696.
–From Maureen Downey, for the AJC Get Schooled blog
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148 comments Add your comment
RJ
April 16th, 2012
12:32 pm
Why would a parent spend over $1000 on prom? My oldest is going to prom next month. Just this weekend she told me how kids were spending $500 or more for dresses! Insane! She is pretty frugal and decided to rent her dress. It wasn’t even my idea (mama proudly smiling). I can’t imagine why parents would spend so much for a high school event. Heck, I don’t even get over the top weddings, but prom? Not in my house. We just found a beautiful pair of shoes for $40. We won’t get close to $500, let alone $1000!
teacher&mom
April 16th, 2012
12:32 pm
$150 for the tux + $35 for flowers + $75 for dinner + $ 30 gas = $290 .
I paid half and my son paid the other half. Everyone had a great time.
Even if I had an extra $1000 to spend, we would not spend it on the prom.
Jane W.
April 16th, 2012
12:38 pm
Why the surprise? Most poor people get that way by consistently making poor choices in life.
Stories like this might be expected to open more eyes among the AJC’s editorial staff. At least in a rational world.
Mike
April 16th, 2012
12:46 pm
Uh, hello…that’s why they are poor.
Once Again
April 16th, 2012
12:48 pm
At every turn the government is there to bailout those who make bad decisions. Should it be any surprise that these folks continue making bad decisions? How much of that money is from the Earned Income Tax Credit (welfare disguised as nicer sounding words)? Is it really these lower income families that are paying this much or is it more likely the hardworking taxpayers that are pickup up the check?
We are absolutely getting the america we deserve. Just look at the choices we make in our leadership (both parties by the way, not singling anyone special out in this).
And once again, is this also part of the great “socialization” that government school kids get to experience?? As if there could never be an equivalent type of get together among homeschooling groups, etc.
Sadly far too many parents try to relive their lives through their children, and an unhealthy attachment to the meaningless “trappings” of public schooling is unfortunately part of that problem.
William Casey
April 16th, 2012
12:50 pm
Proms are a hoax, some kind of faux debutante thing.
Rick
April 16th, 2012
12:51 pm
My daughter bought her dress on sale for 90.00. They went to eat at a restaurant and spent 30.00. Our prom (small town) was in the decorated lunchroom. 20.00 ticket. They all had a ball. Pictures were made for free by one of the parents.
Those folks spending 1000.00 will be the ones crying about needing government assistance.
nga4bama
April 16th, 2012
12:52 pm
Tux, flowers, prom tickets, dinner, pictures and gas, about $250.
One of the girls in my son’s group made her own dress and it was beautiful. My son’s date got her dress at JC Penney, and she looked beautiful, and the other girl borrowed hers.
To spend over $1,000 is ridicules, especially if you have a low income.
What are you teaching your kids? It’s all about how you look?
Prof
April 16th, 2012
1:00 pm
Let’s have a little understanding of what it might be like to live at the poverty level, without any expectation that life after high school will get better.
….If high school was the last time you were together with school-friends (no college expected and nothing but minimum-wages work afterward, if that), you had managed to make it to the end of your senior year without dropping out, and you really didn’t know if you’d ever get married or want to…..The Senior Prom is the last big blow-out that students can experience and parents can give.
We can cluck disapprovingly, but that just probably means that we aren’t living right above or at the poverty level. Our experience is not their experience.
Maureen Downey
April 16th, 2012
1:01 pm
@Jane W. Yet, there is some evidence that poor parents do make some good choices with regards to their children: From Richard Weissbourd, author of “The Parents We Mean to Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children’s Moral and Emotional Development.”
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/09/20/are-poor-parents-poorer-at-parenting/
Ron F.
April 16th, 2012
1:02 pm
I’d have to see how many parents they surveyed. I don’t know anyone at that income level who had $1000+ to spend on prom. In my poor, rural district, the kids shop at outlets or thrift stores or consignment shops for dresses. A few get new, but not nearly as many as the article would lead us to believe. If you make $25000 a year before taxes, the prom expenditures int the article would cost a month’s bring-home salary. I would think you’d find very few willing to risk that much income on one night.
Ron F.
April 16th, 2012
1:08 pm
“Our experience is not their experience.”
But we judge them repeatedly by our middle class standards, even the well-meaning among us. It took a little study and time for me to understand that most poor people really are trying to do the right thing. There is a silent, proud working poor population in this country and we often misjudge them, most of the time without any ill intent. We just don’t know what it’s like to be them.
Jefferson
April 16th, 2012
1:09 pm
These must be GA voters.
EnoughAlready
April 16th, 2012
1:11 pm
My daughters prom is next month and we purchased a dress for $210, which included tax. I was shocked at the price of the dresses. We still have shoes and jewlry, which I don’t plan to spend a lot on. We are well above the poverty line and I refuse to pay anything close to $500.
Heck I’ve just paid for SAT prep, 6 – AP Exams, SAT and ACT testing; which didn’t cost the money these kids are spending on prom.
SMH
April 16th, 2012
1:11 pm
I have to admit that my wife and I spent right at $450 for my brother-in-law to attend his prom. But we spared no expense because he is such an good kid, student, and will attend the ivy league college of his choice free of charge.
In retrospect, I went to my senior prom in 1996 and spent about $300. I had a job so I paid for it myself! But if I spent $300 . . 16 years ago . . In Birmingham . . . $450 didn’t sound that bad to me! I don’t even remember the name of the young lady who accompanied me!
HB
April 16th, 2012
1:11 pm
A 33.6% increase in the average amount spent per child nationwide since last year?! I have a hard time believing that — there’s a flaw somewhere in the analysis.
Maureen Downey
April 16th, 2012
1:13 pm
@Ron F. A friend just called me to mention her observation of poor families in her former school: She noted that some ethnic groups are more “special event” and holiday oriented. They do not spend nearly as much on their kids day to day as do middle-class parents — they are not treating their kids to Starbuck’s or Quiznos every week — but they do splurge on Easter attire and on once-in-a-lifetime events like prom.
Maureen
Homeschooler
April 16th, 2012
1:15 pm
I agree, Ron. In my experience it’s the income level just a bit higher (50-75K combined family income) that is spending this kind of money. Still, they don’t have the $$ to waste on this kind of frivolous nonsense. The people I know who choose to spend this have no $ in savings and are already deeply in debt. Have we learned NOTHING from the past 10 -15 yrs?
@ Once Again..thank you, thank you, I though I was the only one ever griping about the Earned Income Tax Credit. Most ridiculous thing EVER.
I do think a lot of this is spent by the kids themselves, but..still. So we teach them to take every bit of money they earned over the past 6 months and spend it on one night?
Do the math
April 16th, 2012
1:17 pm
The money spent on corsages helps keep the florist in business. The florist keeps the farmer and shipping companies in business. The money spent on dinner keeps the restaurant open, so the wait staff and cooks can keep their jobs. The limo driver gets a paycheck, the people selling and making the clothing keep their jobs… Why is everyone so worried how someone else spends their money? Ever heard of the multiplier effect?
LJ
April 16th, 2012
1:17 pm
Thats the catch-22 about providing “safety nets” for “underprivileged” people- they can be completely foolish with their money and someone else will pay for it.
Huzzah for the welfare state!
Dr. Proud Black Man
April 16th, 2012
1:18 pm
It’s called conspicuous consumption.
Homeschooler
April 16th, 2012
1:21 pm
But “do the math” .. many that I know are charging it all and will eventually file for bankruptcy and then no one gets paid.
To Do the Math
April 16th, 2012
1:23 pm
Do the math thinks poor people are doing the world a favor by overspending on the prom because they are keeping the floriests and dress makers in business to which i say…
Do the Math…
We’d rather they spend the money on health insurance for their childrren and themselves so we don’t have to pic up the tab.
catlady
April 16th, 2012
1:24 pm
It’s not prom, it’s a SESP (Spring Economic Stimulous Package!)
Pink
April 16th, 2012
1:25 pm
I’m sceptical of surveys. Who did they ask? How many people did they ask? You can always find one kook but I sincerely doubt that most people making $20,000 or less are going to spend that much money on a prom. It’s just another reason to get people to hate on the working class.
EnoughAlready
April 16th, 2012
1:27 pm
LG – that’s too much money regardless of income. Why does everything have to be about the welfare state?
I understand it’s about the last “hurrah” of highschool, but the money would be better invested on their future “hurrah”’s.
Our biggest challenge in finding a dress was not the cost, but finding one that was appropriate (according to the school sponsors).
THese are the same Clayton COunty Folks
April 16th, 2012
1:29 pm
These entitled folks who spend foolishly on the prom are the same types that in Clayton County think that we taxpayers should foot the bill for middle school athletics.
Why hasn’t Maureen posted this story?
The supertintendent in Clayton County needs to balance the school budget by cutting out middle school sports, which saves 900K.
The people on the TV being interviewed gave all the reasons for keeping the sports programs, saying the school system should “find the money.”
YET NOT ONE of them offered to have a fundraiser or pitch in themselves.
Yes, pour your money into a big fancy church and pump up Eddie Long as the crooked non-Bishop. Spend tons of money on fake hair, gold teeth, grills, nails and tacky rims on your truck …but spend it on school athletics? No, that requires other people’s money.
spend it on poster board for a school project?
NO! That comes form other people’s money.
Donate to the PTA?
No, that come from other people’s money.
These are the same people that stand in front of Target with their hands out and beg people for mone so they can pay for their cheerleader costumes and football.
….JUST KEEP ON WALKING….
SMH
April 16th, 2012
1:30 pm
Homeschooler hit the nail on the head. There is still a LOT of easily accessible credit that fuels this frenzy. Coupled with a dearth of sound decision-making teaching from guardians, that one special night can cause some these young people an all too painful life lesson in more ways that one!
SMH
April 16th, 2012
1:31 pm
*than
Principal Skinner
April 16th, 2012
1:32 pm
Working in an Urban High School, I see this every year at Homecoming, Prom and Graduation. but then I think……….For many of these kids, this is the High Point of the accomplishments in their lives……..so let them spend the $$$ and par-taaaaaaay.
Who are we to take that from them?
Lars
April 16th, 2012
1:36 pm
“many” are declaring bankruptcy because they spent a lot on prom? Did you proof that sentence before you hit ’send?’ It’s sad to read so many mean-spirited comments from all the Christians on this thread.
carlosgvv
April 16th, 2012
1:39 pm
Are these the same parents teachers constantaly complain about in terms of not sending well behaved children to school and never attending PTA meetings?
Interesting...
April 16th, 2012
1:40 pm
Yes, it would be interesting to see it broken out across ethnic/cultural groups.
I’m thinking that there is a probably an inverse correlation between marriage rates and prom expenditure. If marriage is uncommon in the community, prom may take the place of a wedding as life’s pinnacle fancy moment. I’m not trying to justify it, just pointing out possible root issues.
That said, shame on any prom charging $250/ticket. What a slap in the face to just about all students and families (except maybe the one-percenters).
Jane W.
April 16th, 2012
1:42 pm
@Maureen Downey: The surest way to get the poorest economic stratum to make even MORE poor decisions in life … is to relentlessly run from acknowledging cause and effect.
Nor does struggling to excuse their self-defeating behavior in any way benefit them.
Ron F.
April 16th, 2012
1:45 pm
@Maureen: I see the same special occasion focus in my district, but in talking to the kids, it’s all about LOOKING like you spent a lot. They splurge on hair and nails, but most didn’t spend as much as it looks like they did on dresses. They know how to shop and where to go to get the look alike dresses. They still spend way more than I would, but it seems to be relative to income. That and families get together with several generations contributing to cover expenses.
teacher for life
April 16th, 2012
1:47 pm
Spending $1,000 on a prom helps families prepare to spend $20,000 on a wedding. Both of these events have changed from important life rituals to budget busters. The life ritual is being replaced by the fantasy world of limousines, expensive clothes, and dining. Children are learning that partying and consumption are important and budgets can be ignored.
Spending more on a prom doesn’t lead to more success in life.
Spending more on a wedding doesn’t make for a better marriage.
amanda
April 16th, 2012
1:49 pm
This is ridiculous. I think my senior year, I managed to find a very cool dress for $75 and maybe my parents also paid for dinner with my friends. We drove our own cars, I paid for my makeup, so their total cost was probably around $100. If I have a daughter in the future and she wants some ridiculous $400 dress, she can pay for 3/4 of it. If you can’t say no to your kids when you clearly need money, you need to reevaluate. 6% of income is MASSIVELY ridiculous no matter what you make!
“do the math” doesn’t seem to really understand the multiplier effect. Florists are used all the time beyond corsages: birthdays, funerals, anniversaries, those happen year round unlike prom. Nice try though, find a new argument to defend mindless spending.
A Conservative Voice
April 16th, 2012
1:52 pm
Folks, guess where a lot of these low income prom parents are getting the money?……yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, you guessed it……..from the TAX PAYERS AMONG US. We’re getting dumber, dumber and dumber and you know what?…….money’s gonna run out, eventually. And you know what else?……naw, I won’t say it…..you know
Pink
April 16th, 2012
1:53 pm
It seems to me all the AJC blogs do is post dubious surveys that promote hate and misunderstanding between one group or another, be it class, gender or race. I guess hate sales, but I’m done with all the hatefulness on these blogs and the Vent, which is just a cyber bathroom wall. It all makes the people of Georgia look ignorant and hateful. No wonder people think what they think about us.
Kat
April 16th, 2012
1:54 pm
My folks told me I could spend however much Ii wanted onthe Prom, AS LONG AS I PAYED FOR IT MYSELF. They also let me buy whatever kind of car I wanted. As long as I paid for it myself. One of the most important messages my parents ever taught me was that I could have whatever I wanted as long as I was willing to work for it. FYI we weren’t rich, but we weren’t poor either.
Inman Park Boy
April 16th, 2012
1:59 pm
Calm down Pink! That’s just the way we southeners say “I love you!” This is all just another example of parents living out fantasies through their kids. However, as a high school administrator who has been going to these stupid things since the seventies, I can tell you: they are no worse today than they were then. Limousines and overnight accommodations in grand hotels goes back at least to 1976, when I first supervised one of these deals. You don’t want to spend $1000.00? THEN DON’T!
NONPC
April 16th, 2012
2:03 pm
Not much to say here that hasn’t already been said. The poor make bad decisions and remain poor. One group criticizes this activity, and another group rationalizes it. Then those poor vote for those who will enable their bad choices, and claim a victim status in the politics of class warfare. They will never see what happens to $1000 compounded over their lifetime, or realizes the riches gained from investing in a Google or Microsoft during their early years.
Every one of these kids would see a huge benefit from $1000 invested in their retirement at age 18. Instead, the money is blown on a dress that won’t ever be worn again, and that won’t even fit in 6 months.
Former History Teacher
April 16th, 2012
2:03 pm
$1000 and up for prom is simply ridiculous. It shows that the lack of values crosses all socio-economic groups as well as all racial groups. Yes it is an important rite of passage but it is, after all, just a high school dance. I wonder how many of these parents paying this obscene amount of money for a dance then complain when the HOPE Scholarship is cut and they have to pay more out of pocket expenses for their child to go to college. Definately a skewed sense of values.
HCCynic
April 16th, 2012
2:10 pm
Why does an old country adage come to mind after I read this story?
You may know the one: “You can put perfume on a pig, but it is still a pig.”
With a little revision, the adage fits the story:
“On prom night, You can put an overpriced dress, fake nails, and fake hair, on a self absorbed wench, and she will still be a self absorbed wench.”
Only difference is tomorrow morning she is likely to be pregnant or have a rash…
pj
April 16th, 2012
2:10 pm
I think Pink has a good point. Would some of you feel so free to “diss” “rich” people who spend the same amount? and I don’t believe the survey either. I have a full time decent paying job and two side jobs, but my daughter and I are “poor.” She borrowed a dress and shoes, splurged her own money to have her make-up done, did her own nails and hair. I think she and several other girls went together partly because their potential dates can’t afford the flowers, tuxes, etc. and I don’t think anyone at their school went in a limo. It’s just as ridiculous for “rich” people to spend that kind of money on a fancy dance that most of them think is boring. I’m personally more concerned about them ALL behaving responsibly regarding drinking, driving, drugs, and sex.
Wendy
April 16th, 2012
2:20 pm
My daughter is helping pay for her prom dress and acessories. Her dress was only $250, shoes will be about $50 or less. I have agreed to pay for some but not all. Kids need some sort of responsibility in helping pay for prom or they will never leanr the value of money. Anything over $500 is simply ignorant and ridiculous. Parents deserve to stay poor if they are that stupid.
Tyler Durden
April 16th, 2012
2:27 pm
The people that are rationalizing low income folks spending a months salary for a prom are so transparent. I mean, just go back and read the posts “OUR experience is not THEIR experience…”we just don’t know what its like to be THEM”..”This may be the high point in their lives” That is all so paternalistic and demeaning. (And, this is coming from a dyed in the wool liberal). It’s not like anyone is saying people shouldn’t be allowed to spend this much, but everyone has a right to opine that it is a reckless use of money. Even if you have a ton of it, it is silly to spend that much. My wife and I make 200K a year and both my daughter and my son will work and pay for at least half of any prom expense. What does spending that much on a dance teach your kids ? only to be extremely materialistic..
Ron F.
April 16th, 2012
2:28 pm
“You can put perfume on a pig, but it is still a pig.”
And we learned in ‘08 that lipstick doesn’t help either
Jane W.
April 16th, 2012
2:34 pm
Social commentators with a genuine humanitarian impulse will focus their efforts at relentlessly pointing out the effects of poor personal decisions—and at reducing their occurrence.
Commentators interested in fanning resentment and fomenting class warfare will do otherwise. One hopes that when the mainstream media finally finds the “audacity” to confront the Obama administration with its failings—the President’s own shameless neglect of the black community, in not confronting those many issues related to today’s story, … will be foremost.
What a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity continues to be SQUANDERED by this first black president! A generation of African-American (as well as other) children will bear the scars.
Tyler Durden
April 16th, 2012
2:41 pm
ummm….ok…not sure how this turned into President Obama’s fault…don’t miss the bus back to crazytown…