Coming out in the classroom: How much of their lives should teachers share?
A local teacher sent me a link to a fascinating Huffington Post essay by a California teacher about how she told her middle and high school classes that she was a lesbian and the fallout from administrators, even in the San Francisco area.
The teacher who shared the link noted:
I sincerely hope that Georgia principals would not forbid such an important, relevant discussion in our schools, especially considering how many suicides have been associated with homosexuality and bullying lately. That being said, it does bring up an important ethical question for teachers. When it comes to lifestyle — religion, political affiliation, sexuality — how much should a teacher reveal? Is it unethical to avoid discussion on these matters?
It comes back to a fundamental debate in education. If schools are businesses, who are the customers? Parents (who may not want their children exposed to differing views and opinions), or the society as a whole who demands at least the opportunity to debate such matters (thus requiring exposure)?
My children have had several gay and lesbian teachers. I live in a community where there doesn’t appear to be any repercussions to the teachers. (Teachers may feel differently.) However, I haven’t heard of gay and lesbian teachers focusing on their relationships in the classroom setting — any more than straight teachers bring up their personal relationships to students.
For the most part, I have found teachers limit discussions of their personal lives and their families. I have the same question as the teacher who sent the link: How much should teachers share with students about personal areas of their lives?
I have a friend who never told her high school students that her younger brother, a college student with clinical depression, committed suicide. She simply explained that she was flying home for a family funeral and left it at that. In retrospect, she wishes she had told her students as it may have helped those struggling with depression themselves.
Here is an excerpt from the Huffington essay by Jody Sokolower, which begins with the experience of a middle schooler asking her if she was married. (Take a look at the entire essay if you have time.)
“Well,” I explained in what I hoped was a calm voice, “I have been with the same partner for a very long time, but we can’t get married because we’re lesbians. My partner’s name is Karen, and we have a daughter. She’s 9.” Immediately, everyone had questions and comments.
“Are you for real?” “How could you have a daughter?” “How do you know you’re a lesbian?” “That’s gross.”
“Right now we’re working on Africa,” I said. “But I want to answer your questions. How about this? You think about appropriate questions, and tomorrow we’ll save some time to discuss this. I’ll bring in pictures of my family to show you.”
Twenty minutes later, as we walked back across the yard to our portable, my afternoon class came running toward me. “Is it true you’re a lesbian? Will you talk to us, too?” I repeated my request that they think about appropriate questions and agreed.
That night I collected a few pictures of myself with my partner and daughter, cooking and hanging out at the playground, and one of our extended family. I also thought about how to explain this in a way that would be appropriate for middle schoolers.
I decided to say I knew I was different when I was in middle school and high school, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. When I was young, no one talked about being lesbian or gay — the whole subject was silenced. Later, I was lucky to be in college at the beginning of the women’s movement and the gay liberation movement, so when I realized I was a lesbian, I had lots of support. I met Karen when we were in our early 20s, and we have been together ever since. When I first told my parents I was a lesbian, they were really upset, and that made me feel terrible. But eventually they realized that it is just part of who I am and that Karen is a wonderful person. I’m glad that now it is a little easier to come out than it was when I was young, but it still takes a lot of courage.
I also set clear parameters in my mind about what kind of questions I wouldn’t answer: nothing about sex, and nothing that felt deliberately disrespectful. And I found wording in the social studies standards that I could use to back up my decision to do this. The next morning there was a note in my box to go see the vice principal. “I hear you’re planning to tell your class about your sex life and show pictures,” he said. “I forbid you to do that.”
“I’m not talking about my sex life,” I told him. “I’m talking with my students about what a lesbian family is. I promised them I would explain and answer their questions if they’re appropriate, and I’m going to do that.”
That day I spent about half an hour in each class telling my brief story, passing around the pictures, and answering questions. Several kids told me that their church says homosexuality is wrong; I simply acknowledged that I know many churches have that perspective. One of the kids asked a question about lesbian sex — not a disrespectful question, but a question. I said it was a good question for a sex education class but not something I could discuss. Everyone else had relevant and engaged questions or comments.
The next day I received a letter from the principal, telling me that she was putting a formal complaint in my file. I also received emails from several teachers offering support and encouragement (including two from teachers who told me they were gay but asking me to keep their secret). There were no complaints from parents. I contacted my union representative, who sent a letter to the principal and to my file supporting me.
–From Maureen Downey, for the AJC Get Schooled blog
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220 comments Add your comment
Mahopinion
January 15th, 2012
12:58 pm
To those who say “she wasted school time talking about personal matters…”
Do the same standards apply when the teachers talk about sports, movies or something happening in the news? How about talking about an upcoming school event such as a dance? Summer plans? What if those discussions happen in a math class? Wouldn’t that teacher be guilty of wasting the student’s time?
I’m going to bet the homophobes here wouldn’t think twice about using the “wasting time” argument in that case.
Mahopinion
January 15th, 2012
1:03 pm
Oh, by the way Maureen, I find it telling that you should mention in your opening paragraph that the teacher had fallout “even in the San Francisco area.”. Evidently you are under the misimpression that homophobes don’t exist there. Tolerance, like bigotry, is not a geographical requirement.
I love teaching. I hate what it is becoming...
January 15th, 2012
1:16 pm
LOL! I just can’t get over how people equate mentioning that you are gay with a discussion of one’s “sexual habits” or “who they sleep with” or “sexual activity.” Maybe I am just weird, but when someone tells me about their husband, or wife or children or significant other, my mind does NOT immediately jump to thoughts about them having sex! Strange how that seems to be the first thing other folks think about….or maybe it is only the first thing they think about if the person is homosexual. Why would that be I wonder?
Tom
January 15th, 2012
1:20 pm
Mahopinion, how would you feel if a teacher who was passionately opposed to abortion spent half a day discussing with students the different things they had done to keep girls or women from having one? Would it be okay as long as they didn’t discuss the gory details of what an aborted fetus looks like or the possible impact of scar tissue in the uterus even when an abortion is performed ‘correctly’?
For the most part, keep your personal life out of my child’s classroom. A little innocuous sharing is okay but it isn’t a teacher’s job or responsibility to socially enlighten my children beyond what I as a parent think is appropriate.
liberalefty
January 15th, 2012
1:33 pm
heterosexual teachers discuss their families all the time, why the big deal when homosexual teachers do it?
bu2
January 15th, 2012
1:50 pm
@Lee
I was thinking the same thing. There is all the indignation by liberals on this board about having to listen to a right wing Christian. Our children get left wing propaganda presented to them as fact in elementary school.
We get the principal bashing. I never remember any students asking questions about the teacher’s personal lives. We were usually busy in class. I never remember any teachers talking at length about their personal lives. You might get a passing reference to a daughter or son. Teacher’s aren’t supposed to be friends. They’re teachers. This teacher was totally out of line in discussing this with middle school students. And she made a “lecture” out of it by discussing it with her other classes, instead of teaching her subject. These students are not there to be her therapists to listen to how she felt bad in high school because she was different.
SBinF
January 15th, 2012
1:56 pm
I don’t share any personal info about myself with my students. If they ask what I did this weekend, I tell them I stayed home reading a book. No, I’m not married, I’m not in a relationship. I’m your teacher, no more, no less.
I think this system works well for me. Perhaps another approach works better for others.
liberalefty
January 15th, 2012
2:05 pm
bu2
if a male teacher has a pic of his boyfriend on his desk is it ok with you?
I love teaching. I hate what it is becoming...
January 15th, 2012
2:14 pm
@bu2 “Our children get left wing propaganda presented to them as fact in elementary school. ”
Just curious – what “left wing propaganda” would that be specifically?
The Truth
January 15th, 2012
2:31 pm
@bu2 – You are right in that teachers are not supposed to be the students friends. However, every student and teacher will quickly tell you that the “better” teachers are ones that establish a personal connection with the students. With that comes questions from students such as, “what did you do over the weekend?”
Do you really expect for teachers to say “none of your business?” What do you think the response will be from the students?
Do you expect a straight and married teacher to answer honestly and say something like, “My husband and I went to the movies.” And if so, why cannot a lesbian say, “My wife and I went to the movies?”
SBinF
January 15th, 2012
2:35 pm
However, every student and teacher will quickly tell you that the “better” teachers are ones that establish a personal connection with the students.
——————————————–
That’s a bit of an overstatement. A personal connection is one thing, putting your business in the street is altogether different. I prefer to keep my personal life personal. I don’t think that makes me a bad teacher.
liberalefty
January 15th, 2012
3:02 pm
sbnf
whats wrong with a teacher telling their students that theyre gay? would u object if a straight teacher said that he/she was straight?
liberalefty
January 15th, 2012
3:04 pm
the folks who object seems like they want gays to be silent about their lives unlike heterosexual teachers…
SBinF
January 15th, 2012
3:08 pm
Don’t put words in my mouth. I never said there was anything wrong specifically with a gay teacher telling students about their sexual orientation. If for no other reason, there is at least one parent who is p-o’ed about it. I keep my private life private, it’s a bit of indemnification, if you will.
liberalefty
January 15th, 2012
3:13 pm
sbnf
but would that parent object if the teacher said he/she were straight? nope
Ghostwriter
January 15th, 2012
3:32 pm
Some people need to step away from the keyboard and explore life. That said, this isn’t California, don’t answer questions in GA that put you outside the societal nom. You can’t even have a beer in Germany and teach in GA.
HS Math Teacher
January 15th, 2012
3:57 pm
To: I love teaching. I hate what it is becoming…
Your quote from above: “LOL! I just can’t get over how people equate mentioning that you are gay with a discussion of one’s “sexual habits” or “who they sleep with” or “sexual activity.””
When you do mention you are gay (directly or indirectly) in front of children in a class, what is a CHILD’s mind supposed to “jump to”? We’re talking about what KIDS’ minds jump to, not what adults’ minds jump to, when talking about significant others. How STUPID can one be to do something like this? It’s career destroying, and provides no other purpose than trying to impress upon kids that you should be accepted into the broad blanket of society, and maybe the fact that you are a fearless crusader for gay rights. I don’t know how schools are inside I-285, but outside the beltway, you wouldn’t last very long if you did this.
We’re not yet in that era of time that some hope & yearn for, i.e., a perfect world where no one gets their feelings hurt, no one is discriminated against, and we are all in one big, happy, socialistic society. No, it’s not yet that Brave New World that Huxley wrote about.
Mahopinion
January 15th, 2012
4:02 pm
@Tom-
I’d be po’d because opposition to abortion is a religious stance. In no way is ANY religious discussion appropriate in the classroom. Yet it happens all the time in classrooms with the sanctioning of the school boards. It’s absolutely asinine to equate abortion with being homosexual.
BTW, did you know that carrying and delivering and infant scars the uterus, too? And in case you’ve never been in on the receiving end of the delivery room, let me tell you that’s pretty darn gory, too.
@Ghostwriter
What do societal norms have to do with Georgia versus California? You do realize that they are both part of the United States of America and being homosexual is not against any federal law. Bigots and homophobes exist every where. So do homosexuals. YOUR closed minded society might be afraid of anyone that is different from you, but thankfully society as a whole isn’t quite as narrow minded. Have a beer, it might make you relax a bit.
Mahopinion
January 15th, 2012
4:06 pm
@ HS Math Teacher:
A kids mind does NOT jump to sex when someone mentions they are gay any more than their minds jump to sex when they mention they are straight. It’s only once we, as the adults, put in to their minds that what they are doing is “wrong” or “weird” that it becomes an issue.
Beverly Fraud
January 15th, 2012
4:15 pm
What will happen if someone produces some research that shows gay teachers have higher test scores than straight teachers?
Could you imagine the apoplectic fit the fundamentalist Christian crowd in the General Assembly will have trying to decide if teachers should be required to become gay in order for students to make Adequate Yearly Progress?
Beverly Fraud
January 15th, 2012
4:18 pm
I know there was a huge controversy about our high school janitor being in the closet.
Turns out, he was only there to get a mop.
HS Math Teacher
January 15th, 2012
4:23 pm
I can understand what you’re really saying; however, what is the title GAY supposed to mean? It means that you desire, and aspire to be with someone of the same sex, and that your sexual activity is with the same sex. Have I missed anything?
For the record, politically I’m independent, fiscally conservative, I’ve voted for Dems. and Repubs. for President since 1976, I do not regularly go to church, but was saved and Baptized as a teen, and I pretty much believe in “live & let live. I don’t hate gays. I have a couple in my family. I suspect that every year, that I have four or five kids who seem oriented that way – they’re wonderful kids. I’d be the first to protect them if they were being harmed, emotionally or physically.
Teachers are supposed to use good judgement and discretion. Period.
Archie@Arkham Asylum
January 15th, 2012
4:41 pm
@ghostwriter: Amen!
I love teaching. I hate what it is becoming...
January 15th, 2012
5:00 pm
@HS Math teacher: “We’re talking about what KIDS’ minds jump to, not what adults’ minds jump to, when talking about significant others.”
The people commenting here are adults. My observation was aimed at the many of them who seem to be jumping to “sexual activity” at the mention of this topic.
Granted, I teach children much younger than high school, but frankly, I have often found my students are a lot more accepting and understanding of others than adults.
Perhaps this was not the wisest choice for the teacher, but I suspect she was doing more than, “trying to impress upon kids that you should be accepted into the broad blanket of society.” I suspect she was hoping that letting students know that SHE was gay and had a fulfilling life might give hope to some of those troubled young homosexual students out there who seem to think suicide is the only viable alternative to societal ostracization. If her willingness to out herself saves a life, might it be worth it?
Halftrack
January 15th, 2012
5:05 pm
We are back to the basic question ” what should we shield our children from?” Accountability is the real question for teachers to the age group they are teaching.
GNGS
January 15th, 2012
5:35 pm
What if a non-gay single teacher were asked the same question “are you married”? Maybe her reasons were “all men are losers” or “I like to date many men”, etc. Would it be OK for her to spend half a class session to elaborate on why all men are losers or the virtues of not being married?
The teacher could have just said that “I am a lesbian and the state does not allow me to get married”, or nothing.
Maureen Downey
January 15th, 2012
5:36 pm
@Mah, San Francisco has led the nation in recognizing and protecting gay rights. In 2004, the first same-sex marriage certificates in the U.S. were issued in the city. It has the strongest adoption laws for gay couples. Sure, homophobia exists there, but it is not codified as in many other states.
Maureen
HS Math Teacher
January 15th, 2012
5:56 pm
San Francisco has also led the nation in some serious butt-kicking in football. Go Forty-Niners!!!
Whataboutthesubjectmatter
January 15th, 2012
6:35 pm
This is not a matter of homophobia. That is total nonsense. It is a matter of sticking to the subject. A mere ten minutes are less is enough to bridge the lesson to prior knowledge. Were they talking about the rights of citizens? The Bill of Rights? The change in societies definition of family? As one who has taught middle school history recently for several years, I did not find that these subjects at the middle school level curriculum in Georgia. Nor did this subject warrant a thirty minute discussion on the definition of the modern family! Unless you teach the subject then you would not know this. I have worked with teachers who are just downright inappropriate with the students as far as revealing too much of their personal lives. What middle schooler needs to know that you are fighting with your spouse or that you had a date (no matter the gender)? Do these people not have any friends that they can talk to? My Gawd folks, that’s why these students are so grown before their time! These are not your friends, colleagues or associates!!!!They are your students!
Beverly Fraud
January 15th, 2012
6:46 pm
From Maureen,
“It (Sand Francisco) has the strongest adoption laws for gay couples. Sure, homophobia exists there, but it is not codified as in many other states.”
Notice Maureen won’t talk about the fact that 98.7% of all students first self identify as being gay within two weeks of having a teacher divulge they are originally from San Francisco?
And can Maureen quote ANY Bible verses that attest to the city of San Francisco being worthy in the eyes of the Lord?
I think NOT…
Truth
January 15th, 2012
6:50 pm
@Whataboutthesubjectmattter -
You really don’t get it. You are likely a ‘name changer’ on here and cannot pick ONE name and stick to it – maybe to hide yourself or to pose as if your ONE opinion is from many people….
Anyway, the fact that it is simply inevitable when you put 30 people in one room every day for an hour that personal questions will happen. Even if the teacher does everything possible to avoid it, questions will happen because we are all human beings.
In addition, education studies have proven that better results do happen when students and teachers develop a positive bond with one another….. which happens when they know and care about each other.
You can continue to say “what about the content” but the reality is that other topics come up. Even if the teacher starts off running as soon as the bell rings (with content) and keeps going until the last bell, that doesn’t mean that the students won’t ask before or after class.
Get real.
exteacher
January 15th, 2012
7:15 pm
Hey,
Once again appalled at the many of the hateful posts. I enjoyed the posts from the Truth and Hcain. It seems that some folks just need a reason to hate someone and unfortunately the BIBLE has once again giving the Christians a loophole to hate and discriminate again a group who did not choose their orientation. I am not sure the teacher should have taken the time but it was a good chance to just get it in the open. Students work for teachers who know them and let them into their world. This would be a non issue if she were heterosexual.
Truth
January 15th, 2012
8:56 pm
@Maureen – Time to pull/delete “TruthBe” from posting. He put political crap on here which is exactly what you said not to do.
Maureen Downey
January 15th, 2012
11:21 pm
@Truth, Good point.
another comment
January 16th, 2012
12:52 am
My daughter had a first grade teacher that spent the majority of the first 1/2 of the year talking about her upcoming December Wedding. This 21 year old Univ. of Ga. Grad. talked to these six graders like they were her sority sisters. Next you knew these little 6 year olds clearly thought they were going to be invited to the wedding. After all it was going to be for 350 people ( in Memphis). They then kept begging some of us mothers to throw the teacher a wedding shower. I threw the teacher a big wedding shower in the class room with the help of a few other mothers. All the children attended. Most of the families sent in really nice gifts this was a high SES school. Low and behold no one got an invitation, They could have just given an invitation to the church in Memphis and not the reception and then no one would have gone.
Then to make matters worse she spends the December Newsletter and fills it with photo’s of her wedding. She leaves out one of the little girls with a December Birthday off the December Birthday list. Having had a December birthday, you already feel left out enough with your birthday.
My older Daughter had a great teacher for Pre-3K that talked about her wedding to her class, but invited her whole class of 16 + Kids and parents to her Wedding and reception down at the Big Buehlah Church down on MLK drive. Ms. Kendra was very light skinned, so my daughter who was 4 at the time thought she was white could not understand why she had black parents and black siblings. When she had to go to the bathroom at the church she asked me where are Ms. Kendra’s parents, I said they were right in the first row and her father walked her down the aisle. My now 17 year old still counts this teacher inviting her and her classmates to her wedding one of her best memories.
another comment
January 16th, 2012
1:11 am
More troubling to me are the teachers who Political bash. Those who clearly promote the Republican agenda. The Federal Government has the “Hatch Act” which says that employees can not campaign on the job, public school teachers need it too.
We also need to get rid of the narrow minded Christian Views. I went to public schools up North and we did not have any of this crap. Somehow the schools up their are top in the nation. We didn’t waste all this time with all this crap. We didn’t have all these backward views that have been debunked by the science.
We also did not have voting in Churches. Where the Church ladies and men working the polls give you the eye if you ask for the wrong party to vote. I love telling them that I will only vote for “Pro Choice Candidates” and see them squirm in their seats. I have not understood in my 29 years of living in Georgia as to how they get away with using Churches as polling places. This should not be allowed. There is suppose to be seperation of Church and State.
TO Ghostwriter from Good Mom
January 16th, 2012
8:47 am
Ghostwriter, you are exaggerating, of course. GW says “You can’t even have a beer in Germany and teach in GA.”
That’s a complete exaggeration, GW.
A teacher went to Germany and had beers, took photos of herself drinking and posted them on Facebook along with using the Bi!ch word. She was pressured but not fired. She quit.
She shouldn’t have use a social media site to post her drinking and swearing. She also shouldn’t have quit her job and then wanted it back. She should never have quit and instead stood up for herself for doing something legal, you know, just like being gay, which is also legal.
There are lies, damn lies, statistics and exaggerations used to “prove” your point.
Guess which one is yours, ghostwriter?
Good Mom
January 16th, 2012
9:01 am
Someone said “I suspect she was hoping that letting students know that SHE was gay and had a fulfilling life might give hope to some of those troubled young homosexual students out there who seem to think suicide is the only viable alternative to societal ostracization. If her willingness to out herself saves a life, might it be worth it?”
Very well said. It could save a life. Maybe it might have prevented the hate that killed Matthew Shepard.
Tolerance and acceptance is a subject worthy of being in the GA curriculum.
bu2
January 16th, 2012
10:44 am
@exteacher
You complain about the hateful posts but like the comments of Truth and Hcain who have some of the most condescending, disrespectful posts on this thread?
@goodmom
Again, so many of you miss one of the key points-she was also doing this with middle school students, 6th, 7th and 8th graders who are just entering puberty. Like calculating the beatings of Frederick Douglas in the following post, it was just age group inappropriate without even looking at the other issues.
HS Math Teacher
January 16th, 2012
10:47 am
To: I love teaching. I hate what it is becoming…
Your last sentence was a question, so allow me a response:
I think we should leave parenting to the parents, whether they choose to be good, supporting, loving parents or not. However, if a kid seeks you out, comes to you after school to talk, and asks for your help and guidance, then you should just listen, and show compassion & understanding. All schools have a Counselor, and a some have a district School Psychologist, and as I have done with troubled kids in the past, I would first set up a meeting with one of the two professionals mentioned.
I doubt that a teacher coming out in front of a bunch of impressionable kids is going to save a life, and if it did, you would never know about it. It’s not something you can measure, and it’s not worth the the risk of ostracizing yourself to some, or most of the class, and possibly to some of the faculty & administration.
Lastly, if you’re inside the beltway, you could probably be more open about who you are. If you’re in a timberland, sawmill town about 10 miles from the Florida state line, then you’d better clam up and stick to just teaching your subject.
Lee
January 16th, 2012
10:51 am
“If her willingness to out herself saves a life, might it be worth it?”
If this teacher really wanted to have a “teachable moment”, perhaps she could have passed along some of the information listed below. There is a very dark and sinister side to the “homosexual lifestyle” that goes far beyond the “two people in love” scenario that most gay activists try to portray.
“Regarding physical health, there is increasing evidence that mortality and morbidity rates are substantially higher for those who engage in homosexual practices. For example, the risk of anal cancer soars by as much as 4,000% for men who engage in anal intercourse with other men.”
“Centers for Disease Control … a 14% increase of HIV-AIDS among homosexual men in the United States between 1999 and 2001, … which includes unprecedented outbreaks of syphilis and alarming rates of rectal gonorrhea.
Lest ye forget, the American Psychiatric Association classified homosexuality as a “mental disease” until 1973 and according to many, that declassification was due more to political activism than medical research. Which might help to explain the below:
Archives of General Psychiatry, 1999, Vol. 56, 883-884), concluded; “These studies contain arguably the best published data on the association between homosexuality and psychopathology, and both converge on the same unhappy conclusion: homosexual people are at a substantially higher risk for some forms of emotional problems, including suicidality, major depression and anxiety disorder.”
“Dutch society is recognized as one of the most gay-affirming and gay-tolerant in the world, and yet the risk for mental illness among those who engage in homosexuality remains high, and significantly higher than among heterosexuals in that country.”
But, anyone who disagrees with the homosexual lifestyle is quickly labeled as “homophobic” in an attempt to silence critics.
Lee
January 16th, 2012
11:04 am
Of course, Rodney Carrington sums it up best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B7Hh70nmjg
I love teaching. I hate what it is becoming...
January 16th, 2012
12:03 pm
@HS Math treacher: “Lastly, if you’re inside the beltway, you could probably be more open about who you are. If you’re in a timberland, sawmill town about 10 miles from the Florida state line, then you’d better clam up and stick to just teaching your subject.”
I do understand your point. However, if folks like Frederick Douglass, Harriet Tubman, Susan B. Anthony, MLK, Rosa Parks, Ruby Bridges, Nelson Mandela, Ghandi etc. had just keep quiet and kept their heads down, then blacks might still be enslaved, women might still be considered the property of men, only white male landowners might be able to vote, and the world would be a much darker place than it already is.
@Lee: “These studies contain arguably the best published data on the association between homosexuality and psychopathology, and both converge on the same unhappy conclusion: homosexual people are at a substantially higher risk for some forms of emotional problems, including suicidality, major depression and anxiety disorder.”
Gee, I wonder if any of that might be due to the fact that it seems acceptable worldwide to hold them in total contempt and treat them less than human. Being hated for who you are might get a bit depressing, don’t you think?
And if you want to play the statistics card, how about you look up the stats for lesbian women who have some of the lowest rates of sexually transmitted disease. By your logic, then all women should turn gay for their health! Just sayin’….
V for Vendetta
January 16th, 2012
12:46 pm
Lee,
Your examples verge on idiotic, especially the American Psychiatric Association reference. As an Educational Psychology major, I can tell you that our knowledge of the way the mind works and what is appropriate and not appropriate in terms of psychology has changed drastically in the past 100 years–from what would be considered barbaric by today’s standards to a more understanding and acceptable scientific view. There is deviant behavior and disease risk in ALL forms of sexuality.
HS Math Teacher,
I’ve refrained from commenting on your frankly asinine posts, but I can no longer ignore it because I, too, teach high school. To suggest that mentioning the word “gay” automatically sends high school students’ minds into a tailspin of homosexual bedroom practices is giving them little to no credit as individuals, and I seriously question your understanding of high school students in general. High school is a turbulent time in students’ lives, and your quote “I doubt that a teacher coming out in front of a bunch of impressionable kids is going to save a life, and if it did, you would never know about it” shows how misinformed you are. The rate of suicide among gay teenagers is high for precisely this reason.
All of the people on here demanding that a teacher should keep his or her personal life distant from students would be the first ones arguing that teachers should be more than classroom automatons. As others have said, would it be ok for a teacher to have a picture of his or her same-sex partner on his or her desk? Would you have a problem with that if the teacher said nothing else about it?
Truth
January 16th, 2012
2:37 pm
@Good Mom -
Your posting about the teacher that “lost” her job due to drinking in Germany is also filled with partial truths. You want to play the “honest” one, yet you also state half-truths.
She was pressured to quit. The principal told her to either quit (and retain her teaching certification) or she would be fired. So, yes, she did make a decision to quit. However, it is not as if that was her real choice. Had she been supported by the administration, I’m sure that her real choice would have been to stay.
It is just crazy how Georgia people are so hypocritical. Teachers are held to a higher standand that men running for President. Newt had affairs that were in the news! Yet, he is running for President! If this were to happen to a teacher in Georgia, what do YOU think would happen?
AJinCobb
January 16th, 2012
3:06 pm
@another comment, “My daughter had a first grade teacher that spent the majority of the first 1/2 of the year talking about her upcoming December Wedding. This 21 year old Univ. of Ga. Grad. talked to these six graders like they were her sority sisters.”
Yep, my kid had a ninth grade social studies teacher who spent ridiculous amounts of time talking about her infertility problems. Really.
Heterosexual teachers who talk too much about age-inappropriate personal stuff are much too common, I’m afraid. I suspect most parents respond like us: we’re irritated by it but don’t complain, and it doesn’t appear to result in administrative reprimands.
Given this reality, the flurry over the lesbian teacher’s spending a half hour on what sounds like a tasteful and age-appropriate discussion, seems ridiculous and it’s hard to avoid the conclusion that the opposition is just homophobia. If all the straight teachers restricted their personal stuff to a half-hour per semester, that would be a major change!
HS Math Teacher
January 16th, 2012
3:54 pm
V for Vendetta:
Thank you for your restraint; keep practicing it, son. It will serve you well.
To "Truth"...from Good Mom
January 16th, 2012
4:38 pm
Truth, your reading comprehension skills are lacking. I clearly said “She was pressured but not fired. She quit.”
Truth, you really are tiresome.
To "bu2"...from Good Mom
January 16th, 2012
4:55 pm
bu2 you say “@goodmom
Again, so many of you miss one of the key points-she was also doing this with middle school students, 6th, 7th and 8th graders who are just entering puberty. Like calculating the beatings of Frederick Douglas in the following post, it was just age group inappropriate without even looking at the other issues.”
Kids who are 12 and 13 are exactly the right age to talk to about this subject. This is the age when many are in puberty and at a time when bullying of kids suspected of being a homosexual is rampant. When a teacher who is respected by the students says he or she is gay it makes an impression. Here is someone whos is gay, is kind, is intelligent and is not a pedophile. Just those facts alone may dispell some of the most common myths about gays and lesbians and when an openly gay teacher says he or she is gay it makes a huge impression on the student that it is ok to be gay.
That helps to protect against bullying gay students in school. We all know and like someone who is gay. We likely don’t know the gay people in our world because they fear coming out to us. My aunt is someone I suspect is gay. she has lived with her “roommate” now for — get this — fifty years. A loving, caring “friendship” that has lasted fifty years. their relationship has lasted longer than any other heterosexual relationship in my family. I love both of them and call both of them “aunt so and so” and “aunt so and so.”
Inside the Timberland ...from Good Mom
January 16th, 2012
5:00 pm
Some nut says “If you’re in a timberland, sawmill town about 10 miles from the Florida state line, then you’d better clam up and stick to just teaching your subject.”
You know, that’s what they used to say to blacks and women. Stay in your place. Keep your mouth shut.
“Advice” like yours never helped anyone. We cannot all rise up to equality if we stay all stay down and shut up.