Turning up the volume in our lives. Everyone seems to be talking now, in the library, in class. Is quiet old school?
Is it too quiet in here?
The WSB-TV story about the mother being arrested in the Decatur library allegedly because she wouldn’t quiet her noisy toddler made me think about noise in schools and libraries. (BTW, having used that library many times and seen the tolerance toward boisterous children, I have to believe the library’s account that the police were called because of the woman’s loudness rather than the child’s.)
First off, libraries in general are louder than they used to be. As a young child, I was a regular at the library near my house and it was a silent, somber place where I checked out my “Harriet the Spy” books and fled home to read them.
Today, libraries are filled with parents and toddlers and there are bean bag chairs and little tables that invite kids to get comfy. The child-friendly nooks and crannies also invite noise because where they are children, there is noise.
In fact, I also see many more adults who talk in normal tones rather than the whispers in libraries. I am always shushing my own kids in the library while everyone else is talking as if they were in the food court of the mall.
With the constant clatter in the background, is quiet assumed as a prerequisite for concentration and learning any more? And do we make a mistake insisting on quiet when today’s children have a louder soundtrack for their generation?
I have noticed that the volume is higher in private schools. I don’t mean parochial schools where order is still cherished but the pricey private schools where CEOs and surgeons in Atlanta enroll their kids. (Although today’s Catholic schools are far more informal than the ones I attended.)
There is more chatter in the halls; students speak up in class without raising their hands. The general classroom setting is more relaxed, more Socratic in design. Kids lounge in chairs rather than sit up in them. There is a greater sense today that classrooms are places of equals, and everyone can speak.
Many students do their homework amid noise. Recall that I reported here a few months ago that the triplets who were the top three graduates of a local school did their homework in front of the TV, according to their dad. And other parents went one better, saying their top students watched TV, texted, listened to their iPods simultaneously and still got into Yale.
So, are we now immune to noise? Are quiet classrooms considered dull? Should we seek dynamic classrooms with kids at one table debating immigration and students at another collaborating on a play? The constant battle to quiet children seems a losing one, given that the world tolerates a lot more noise in what used to be the quiet places, libraries, churches, pocket parks.
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47 comments Add your comment
Dr NO
October 20th, 2010
9:35 am
Any “rule of decorum” have been basically tossed out the window so lil Johnny or Sally or adults for that matter, might be free to express themselves and made to feel that their bad behavior is acceptable.
Then eveyrone wonders why so many teens and young adults end up in prison.
All in all this disorganized mess is probably a good idea as it allows the trouble makers to stand out and with no discipline they are allowed to enroll in jails and prisons at a much earlier age.
Carolyn
October 20th, 2010
9:42 am
I also grew up being silent in the library (born in 1978). I’m not sure when the culture changed, but every time I go to my city’s branch of the county library system, it’s LOUD. Part of the issue is that there are a ton of people in there, and it’s a small building. Plus, it’s always busy, no matter what time of day I visit. But another issue is that the librarians do not seem to address the noise level. Being quiet in a library is something you need to be told to do; no one is born knowing that’s the custom. But if you’re not told, how are you supposed to know? I wonder what the librarian association says about this–has the tide turned?
The only library I’d go to for studying–where I could get some peace and quiet–would be a big college library where I could sneak off to a carrel somewhere.
JATL
October 20th, 2010
10:00 am
I make my small children whisper and be quiet in the library, and I cannot STAND this permissiveness where suddenly everyone should be able to be loud and talk everywhere! I have no problem with chatter in school hallways, and if the class is well-behaved and prepared enough (as many in private schools are), then if the teacher wants to institute a more relaxed classroom -fine. However, nothing should be thought of a teacher requiring quiet and students to raise their hands either.
Libraries have always been a “quiet haven.” When I was a kid, I loved going there because it was so bizarrely quiet and relaxing! It’s the refuge of many a student in high school and college so they can actually get some work done. As a former SAHM who used to take contracts occasionally, I would take my laptop to the library while my mom or a sitter watched the kids so I could get work done in peace! The branch library in East Atlanta Village is still reasonably quiet. People seem to speak in hushed tones and a loud voice gets looks. The kids’ storytime room is off the lobby -not the main library area, so loud toddlers aren’t heard very easily. Most kids in the children’s section seem to be made to be pretty quiet. Libraries need to be quiet!
Teacher, Too
October 20th, 2010
10:11 am
I totally agree with the posts. I always love the quiteness of the library. I could escape from the noise of everyday life. Sadly, noise permeates through our daily lives. On certain days, I keep my classroom quiet so that students can read and relax. Sometimes, I play soft classical music, at a very low volume.
I think the noise stimulates kids, and they don’t know how to act in a quiet atmosphere. But, then, listen to how loudly many adults speak- full volume, all the time. What happened to inside voices? I don’t want to hear everyone’s conversations!
JATL
October 20th, 2010
10:14 am
After reading the news story, it’s clear that the problem here is just another example of people this day and age feeling a sense of entitlement to do whatever THEY want wherever they want to do it. Many of us still have common sense, and if we can’t get a noisy or crying baby or toddler to quiet down in a place where they’re supposed to be quiet, we take them outside. However, her whole explanation about her 14 month old being too young to know to be quiet and the fact that she’s too ill-mannered or stupid to automatically leave with him is not surprising. There’s your entitlement -because SHE wanted to be at the library and HER baby couldn’t be quiet -everyone else was just supposed to put up with it. Go to weddings, church services, nicer restaurants -and that favorite -MOVIES -and see this repeated all the time! They really should put a note on babies when they go home from the hospital reading, “IF I CANNOT BE QUIET IN PUBLIC BUILDINGS THEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ME OUTSIDE!”
Maureen Downey
October 20th, 2010
10:15 am
@Teacher, too, I used to do my banking at the big Bank of America in downtown — I love the majesty of that old building and felt like I was in one of the great New York museum lobbies. You would just get quiet when you walked in that place.
But over the years as cell phones became omnipresent, I was struck by how many people waiting in line at the bank would engage in the most personal of conversations, as if the other seven of us on line weren’t there. Sort of ruined the experience for me.
Maureen
HS Public Teacher
October 20th, 2010
10:19 am
As a high school teacher, I see a clear deliniation of students with respect to this….
The honors and AP kids are great listeners. They know that to understand new material, THEY need to stop talking and listen carefully for understanding.
The on-level or regular kids just cannot listen. Mostly, they feel the need (and some would say that they have a right) to talk and talk throughout class. They talk to their friends. They talk to their neighbor. They even try to start a conversation off-topic with the teacher. If they ever do pause long enough to hear anything, they only half hear instructions or a discussion on new material.
I don’t know if this behavior is learned at home or from earlier grades or where. But the regular ed kids have no listening skills at all.
Jim
October 20th, 2010
10:20 am
As I school librarian and a frequent public library patron I can understand the concerns, but with funding and jobs getting cut libraries are more interested in being friendly and having the library be a go to place than being shushing crones. That’s why most public libraries now have “Quiet Rooms” or “Study Rooms” so that both types of patrons can feel at home.
When I’m teaching a class in my library and another class comes in for checkout, I’m often the loudest one in there. I tell the kids they are welcome to talk as long as they are not preventing anyone from doing what they came to do.
The other day I had a teacher come in with his laptop to work quietly. There was a noisy group practicing for a video in the library so rather than quiet the noisy but productive students, I let the teacher work in my office with the door closed.
Have you checked out Buffy Hamilton’s website? She was recently named the Georgia School Librarian of the year and her catchphrase for her library is “The Unquiet Library.” She’d be great to interview if yo do any further stories on this.
Thanks,
Jim
New School
October 20th, 2010
10:43 am
“a noisy group practicing for a video in the library”? Maybe it was the only place available to them but the library seems like the wrong place to me.
V for Vendetta
October 20th, 2010
10:48 am
Though the library near where I live is normally quiet, I think this is a timely and relevant point for discussion. I’m always shocked when another parent’s child goes nuts in a public place and that parent doesn’t slip away to a more private area–or go outside where the noise is less severe. Whether it is restaurants, grocery stores, or libraries, people seem to think that they have a right to make noise.
As an advocate for individual rights, I suppose, in some circumstances, they do. However, your rights end where mine begin, and I think there is something to be said for the sanctity of certain establishments. I was in the grocery store a few weeks ago when a mother let her little boy wail–and I mean SCREAM–for the better part of ten minutes. I could hear him at any location in the store. I find that unacceptable, and I began to wish that a crazy old man would pop out from behind the noodles and slap the kid across the face.
I’m kidding.
But still, we live in a society where people think individual rights mean they can do whatever they want all the time. That’s why they’re fat, lazy, and stupid. It’s no big mystery. I’m working with my four-year-old right now on “indoor” voices. She’s always quiet and polite inside of a library, but she sometimes forgets to tone it down after our newest addition has gone down for a nap.
Hey Teacher
October 20th, 2010
10:49 am
@ HS Public Teacher — right on! I spend more time in my regular ed classes teaching MANNERS (no, you may not text in class, no you may not shout out answers, no you can’t jump up and go to the bathroom because you see your girlfriend in the hall). The apple does not fall far from the tree — parents of this group will text or take calls during teacher conferences (had this happen yesterday) or talk on the cell phone in church or the doctor’s office. Manners. We’ve lost them.
Ed Darrell
October 20th, 2010
10:57 am
Work makes sound, but generally not noise. Listening to lectures requires quiet. Classroom discussion requires polite attention, which includes not adding distracting conversations.
Can we distinguish when sound is useful, and when it is not?
I’m reminded of a business simulation called the Flying Starship Factory (now by Block and Petrella). Under the old factory rules, “quiet” is required — but in normal production that flies out the window and obnoxious noise reigns. Under a factory redesigned by employees for effective work, there is no rule about quiet. There is conversation, but not noise.
Can we tell noise from useful information?
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October 20th, 2010
11:01 am
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JATL
October 20th, 2010
11:13 am
@Jim -if some group absolutely cannot find anywhere else to be loud for a practice and must use the library, I propose using those special rooms for THEM. Most of us still head to the library for some peace and QUIET -not to be shoved in a special room when we came to the library for its actual purpose. I checked out Buffy’s site and this article on her and it:
http://americanlibrariesmagazine.org/columns/next-steps/unquiet-library-has-high-schoolers-geeked
The term “unquiet library” seems to mean to her that they want to make some “noise” and shake up people’s traditional ideas of what a library can be -not have a ridiculous amount of disruptive noise going on in the library all the time. Great! Holding a class in a library where the students are attentive and not loud and unruly is fine -especially in a school library. As far as public libraries go though -if people want to hold classes, coffee groups, web seminars -whatever -they need to be in a special room for that and leave the rest of the library to those of us seeking quiet who go to libraries just for that!
Especially now when everyone has their stupid bluetooth ear pieces and phones out everywhere and you cannot escape people constantly blathering on about every mundane detail of their lives, the public needs to have some areas where quiet still reigns. As generations of children and teens have learned before now -it IS possible (and quite healthy) to shut up once in awhile!
HS Public Teacher
October 20th, 2010
12:03 pm
@Hey Teacher -
LOL! And then, it is those very gen ed students that do poorly on a test and those parents accuse the TEACHER of not doing their job – go figure!
If the parents had taught good manners, then the student would listen and learn, then the student would have done well on the test. There is a connection!!
Another POV
October 20th, 2010
12:23 pm
As the mother of three kids, I think that sometimes people get way too sensitive about this issue. I have seen “big” kids make more noise than this toddler allegedly made. The mother has a point: This isn’t a 3 year old. This is a baby, and we were all babies once or had babies. I just think this could have been handled differently; the cops should not have gotten involved.
There are 2 sides to every story BUT if the mom was able to quiet her baby, as she claimed, then she should not have been booted out of the library. She gave her side of the story this morning on a V-103. The mom claimed she was on the phone with a TV station during this encounter and I would love to hear the encounter, if it was recorded.
The cops claim she was getting boisterous. She claims that it did not happen, but if it did, she should not have gotten arrested for it. Do you know how many people curse police out when they get a ticket? Wrong, yes. A jailable offense? No, i.e., mom.
I just think this issue could have been handled differently. We aren’t talking a movie theatre, a restaurant or a play. We are talking about a library. What’s so ironic is that I’m sure that the kids who gather at this library on a Saturday morning are prob much louder than this baby was.
catlady
October 20th, 2010
12:26 pm
In the classroom we are NOT all equals. We have no PCs (priviledged characters) but I AM in charge, and your opinion is that–unless it can be substantiated with FACTS. Students may have the “floor” to discuss their knowledge and opinions, in an orderly manner, when I say so. We have too many students who think they already know the answers, and they do not. It seems like their parents have hung on every word they have said, without throwing up the stop sign occasionally.
Batgirl
October 20th, 2010
12:32 pm
I am a middle school librarian. The reading teacher from each team brings his/her classes for checkout every other week on either Tuesday or Thursday. During these times, I do not expect quiet. I am trying to help them find what they need as well as help them check out (I no longer have a parapro), so sometimes there is talking across the library, and I have a pretty big space. And, like Jim, when I’m teaching, I’m usually the loudest one in the room. As far as I’m concerned, they can talk until they’re blue in the face if they will just put the books they don’t want where they belong or at least where I can find them.
On days that I don’t have classes, the library is pretty quiet. It is quite rare that I have a student who comes in to study or do independent research. When this happens, I do put them in a quiet room if there is a class here. Their teachers received my schedule at the beginning of the year and should take this into consideration or contact me (this is my classroom ) when they send them to do their work in here
I do think, however, that a public situation is different, and that the needs of others need to be considered. I’m not sure why parents of very small children take them some places such as the library. If a child doesn’t understand the concept of being quiet, maybe he shouldn’t even be let out of the house (kidding, sort of). I used to go to our public library and would find quiet in the periodicals room, but now the parents have found it and bring their little darlings in there, too. Now I go to a college library to find quiet.
Jan
October 20th, 2010
12:37 pm
… and you see the results. In this part of the world it seems that the size of the muffler and the volume of the (car) stereo determine how cool you are. I understand that this is a changing world and we really have enough people in this state who desperately want to revert to a lifestyle equal to one of the 19th century but to see this as a normal evolution of civilized human behavior is absurd. We are so concerned in this country about individual rights that it made the rights of the community disappear. The parents don’t have values therefore the children don’t have values.
Shannon
October 20th, 2010
12:56 pm
Quiet classrooms aren’t considered dull, they are considered “unproductive”. I teach middle school, and more and more group work is encouraged, which invites interaction and noise. Gone are the days of bookwork and worksheets. At my local library, there is a separate kids area where parents can take their kids and they can be as noisy as they want. The main area, where the adult books are kept, is reserved for computers and studying and is usually much quieter.
EnoughAlready
October 20th, 2010
12:57 pm
It all boils down to Lack of Respect; it starts at home. The kids are not taught to say Ms. Jane or Mr. Jack; they call people by their first name. They shout or talk loudly where ever, because that’s what their parents do in their presence.
I had a doctors appointment yesterday and their were two little girls in the waiting room, their mother was with the doctor. One was reading quietly and sitting in her seat; you would barely know she was there. The other was rolling around on the floor, throwing a ball against the wall and running back and forth. I didn’t realize they were together until I was in the pharmacy and I saw them with their mother.
What I saw yesterday is a testimony to how two different children can be raised by the same parent, but with different outcomes in public or in life.
Jim
October 20th, 2010
1:02 pm
New School and JATL–The group working on the video (to promote a book) was making noise at a normal level and they were the only ones using the library at the time. There was no need to ask them to leave. They were sent their by their teacher to use our video equipment and were productively engaged in collaborative work. The teacher that came in to work said nothing about them and would have happily worked at a table in the library. I simply offered my office as a convenience for which the teacher said “I was too nice.”
Batgirl is right. School libraries are much different than public libraries. We have quiet times when no one visits because all classes are busy and we have times with more than one class in here for different reasons and it can sometimes get loud. As long as everyone is being productive and respectful it’s almost never a problem. It’s very rare to a have a student in elementary school come to the library alone to study. It’s almost always with a class.
One of our most important goals is to remain flexible for the many different reasons classes and small groups visit The Learning Commons a/k/a The Media Center a/k/a The Library.
Thanks!
Ole Guy
October 20th, 2010
1:03 pm
Is there any other way?? Mouth shut, ears open; brain in gear…it’s the ONLY way to learn. If anyone cares to entertain any other way, they’re only kidding themselves.
November
October 20th, 2010
1:08 pm
What can you say?…..there is a certain segment of our population where rules don’t apply, or so they think, and respect for others is thrown out the window.
EnoughAlready
October 20th, 2010
1:10 pm
I will give the mother of the toddler credit for actually brining her child to the library. There are millions of kids who don’t have a clue about the library, until they start school. Most have only been to the library at school.
November
October 20th, 2010
1:10 pm
Oh, I forgot…..Remember to vote on November 2nd
seabeau
October 20th, 2010
1:16 pm
I recently visited a mall in Wisconsin where I was struck by its quiet. As I pondered the reason behind this I noticed that there were no minority races present. And no noise, no shouting ,no boom boxes. Nice..
Another POV
October 20th, 2010
1:20 pm
@EnoughAlready, YES! The mother said this morning that she was in the area doing business and she was trying to get a job (she said she’s a model and had a casting call) and needed to download something on her flash drive.
Food for thought: How will a child know how to act if you never take them anywhere? She obviously needed to use the computer (come on, if she had the luxury of using a personal computer when she needed it at that very moment, don’t you think she would have?) I know when my kids (all tweens and teenagers) were that age, I certainly would have opted to use my own computer given the choice.
Since when did it become a crime to try to get a job?
Former Paulding teacher who got out
October 20th, 2010
1:28 pm
I am no fan of the cops but I find it hard to believe that this gal was apprehended for nothing at all. I have also frequented the Decatur Public Library and been very impressed at how helpful and friendly the staff has been.
A former post mentioned that everyone “curses” at cops when they are ticketed. As I said, I am no fan of the po po but, EXCUSE ME, cursing at cops? Really? I mean, who does that? My father taught me at an early age to respect the police while in their presence. I bet this isn’t the only life lesson this woman’s parents neglected to pass along to her.
Another POV
October 20th, 2010
1:34 pm
@Former Paulding teacher who got out, No, I didn’t say that everyone curses at cops. I said do you know how many people who get tickets curse at cops. My point was, they weren’t arrested. Is it wrong? Yes, but she’s not the first and won’t be the last to curse an officer (my husband is in law enforcement).
And just becasue we have individually been treated right at a certain establishment doesn’t mean this treatment is equal from person to person. It just sounds like, on the surface, it could have been handled without involving authorities.
B
October 20th, 2010
1:39 pm
Interesting. I just removed my 2yo toddler from the pediatrician’s waiting room this morning for being too loud, and noticed I got several affirming glances from other parents while doing so. I took him outside, calmed him down, talked to him about inside vs outside voices and went back in. It CAN be done.
chuck
October 20th, 2010
1:45 pm
V, You Said:
“But still, we live in a society where people think individual rights mean they can do whatever they want all the time.”
You left out the rest of it though. It should have read:
But still, we live in a society where people think individual rights mean they can do whatever they want all the time, but YOU can’t do ANYTHING that THEY don’t like.
muffinpaw
October 20th, 2010
1:47 pm
This really comes down to a lack of respect and it isn’t just in the library. People make as much noise as they want anywhere they want nowdays. When I take my daughter to gymnastics there are a couple groups of parents that are so loud that my daughter can hear their conversation while she is on the practice floor. Kids in the class are chatting which is distracting to the coach and other kids. I look at the parents and of course the kids are disrespectful. I also have to agree with seabeau, I think that can make a huge difference.
Justamom
October 20th, 2010
1:51 pm
Seriously. This has nothing to do with trying to get a job. When your child is too loud, you remove them from the situation until they can be quiet. Then you go back in and finish your activity. If they can’t/won’t calm down, you don’t get to go back in. It isn’t exactly fair but – nothing about parenthood is fair. If this escalated to the point of getting a “talkin to” from the Decatur Library staff, you know it was bad. Absolutely no excuse.
Funny reference about cussing at cops. Who disrespects a police officer and doesn’t expect some sort of consequence?? Not smart.
Another POV
October 20th, 2010
2:02 pm
Too bad @seabeau and @muffinpaw that we can’t have an intelligent conversation without resorting to these antics. If there are too many minorities where you are, then move. Go to Wisconsin; they’d love to have you, because if you want to insulate yourself in Georgia, you are just about going to go to the mountains to not live next to us. You can’t get away.
Being a minority has nothing to do with the noise level. I’ve lived in all black neighborhoods — Detroit — and all white (Johns Creek/Forsyth) and bad behavior cuts across all races. But one thing is certain: If this mother had been a different color, the conversation on this blog would have been very different. Definitely more compassion. This is exactly the reason why I don’t participate in blog chatter. Guess I was wrong to have done so now.
L
October 20th, 2010
2:13 pm
@ V for Vendetta. Your story about the mother who let her little boy wail/SCREAM for 10 mins. What were the circumstances and the age of the child? I agree children should NOT be allowed to just misbehave. (I wasn’t allowed.) However, at certain ages children is are still learning how to behave so one can’t just say a person is being permissive of bad behavior in a situation like this one.
For instance, I think about an incident when my 18 mo had a breakdown while I was in the checkout line in the grocery store. She would not calm down. So…I just finished up and took her out of the store as quickly as possible. It probably took 5 to 7 mins but I rec’d dirty looks. Leaving and coming back later wasn’t an option. Her breakdown was a rare incident (she’s normally very happy with shopping) but I’m sure those people giving me the dirty looks had already pegged my child as an unruly brat that needed to be thrashed.
That being said….I feel the mom in this story probably should have taken her child out of the library if the noise making was prolonged. If was really one little noise that ended, everyone involved may have gone overboard. My husband and I only go to the library at my daughters school and the bookstore right now that way we can teach her how to be quiet when we go to the public library.
Justamom
October 20th, 2010
2:15 pm
@ AnotherPOV – I agree with you, of course, that bad behavior runs across all colors and I hope you don’t really believe the chatter here (except those two comments) would be any different if the mother were white. I have seen white parents get ripped apart on the decatur blogs for how they let their children behave in restaurants. These comments are so tame in comparison!
Matt
October 20th, 2010
2:17 pm
I’m a college student, and I absolutely hate the fact that I can’t do my studying in a quiet library anymore. There are always groups of people talking loudly, groups playing music on a small boom box (or headset with the volume turned all the way up), etc. Tell me, what is the point of wearing a headset if you’re gonna turn the dang volume all the way up? It defeats the whole purpose of wearing a headset in the first place. Other people may not want to hear your obnoxious rap music while they try to study. Seriously, folks, there are still people who use the library for study and research, and most of them don’t want such distractions around them. Play your friggin’ rap in the car or at home, but please don’t force me to listen to it as well. I have sh*t to do. This whole country is getting ruder every day, and no one seems to care.
JATL
October 20th, 2010
2:39 pm
@Another POV -I can’t stand bratty, out of control white, Asian or Hispanic kids whose parents do nothing to stop their behavior either, and Justamom is correct -the way some of the white moms let their kids act in restaurants not only in Decatur but all over the city -and stores and wherever they are is disgusting. I would have had no more “compassion” for this mom no matter what. It also doesn’t matter if she’s trying to get a job. Maybe I’m in the library trying to DO my job! She still needs to take her kid out when he gets loud.
Kat
October 20th, 2010
3:11 pm
I’m a public libarian, and I can tell you that for every one of you lamenting how wonderful the quiet library of your childhood was, there are 100 who felt alienated and unwelcome by the sternness and rigidity they encountered in that same place. When those people, now grown up, have to visit a public library, I can spot them when they walk in the door by their fearful, uneasy demeanor. In the 15 years I’ve been in this job, the profession has worked very hard to overcome the sterorype of the library as a place where you will get shushed – or even banished – for the slightest infraction. Worse yet is the stereotype of the fussy, grumpy librarian.
The profession – and the libraries themselves – have changed dramatically in recent years. Libraries are dynamic, flexible, and adaptable, as are librarians. And yes, they are sometimes noisy places.
People with babies visit the library. Babies cry. We expect that. I have been in the exact same situation as the staff at the Decatur library. You have to walk a fine line: be understanding and accomodating to the person with the fussy baby, while respecting the needs of all the other people in the room who are reading, researching, etc. A library is a public place, and no reasonable person in this era would expect it to be quiet as a tomb.
Still, no one should be allowed carte blanche to cause as much uproar (or allow it from their children, no matter the age) as they wish. It is perfectly appropriate to ask an adult to step outside with a disruptive child until they are calmer. I have no doubt that this is what the staff at the Decatur library did. Crying babies don’t get arrested, but combative adults do.
Whitney
October 20th, 2010
4:09 pm
I’m not sure how many of you have been to libraries lately but the ones in Cobb County have books, reading areas, classes and even bathrooms for children. That makes me believe that they are trying to encourage children to come. Children make noise. While I don’t tolerate my children to misbehave and have removed them from places on occasion, talking in a less than hushed voice or even squealing with delight go with being a kid, which, by the way, every single one of us once was. I find it interesting that the librarians who have posted above are not nearly as concerned about the noise as the others. Perhaps it’s because they see that a lifelong love of reading is more important. And perhaps it’s because this follows the general trend in libraries of making them more inviting and inclusive of everyone.
On a personal note, a friend of mine experienced THE EXACT STAME TREATMENT AT THE EXACT SAME LIBRARY. She had her toddler in the children’s reading area, was told he was making too much noise, quieted him down, was asked by security to leave AFTER she had quieted him down, and then had the cops called on her. Something is obviously amiss at this library.
Whitney
October 20th, 2010
4:10 pm
er, that would be “SAME” not “STAME.”
DeKalb Educated
October 20th, 2010
4:16 pm
I have been in a ski resort with a bunch of friends where one of them started to tell raw jokes in a loud tone that anyone could hear over the din. I asked her to lower her voice because I didn’t think her conversation was appropriate. I was told I was a prude. People looked atus and I was stunned because this woman just didn’t think she needed to lower her voice. I am not sure she was capable. One of my good NY friends finally asked her, “Were you raised in a barn? Why are you so loud?” She shut-up. I thought the tables around us would applaud. We are all white, middle class folks. I have been lots of places where people that are black, white, mid-eastern, asian, hispanic, etc. have been too loud. I have been at the local Y where children are allowed to scream and demand things at the top of their voices and Mommies just smile while we try to relax in a whirlpool. I have been in libraries where mothers allow their children to be so “cute” and climb and yell. Parents need to learn they are not the only ones in the world capable of giving birth. Children need to learn they are not the center of the universe. We all need to be aware of where we are, what others are doing and respect the need for quiet reflection. Take the cell phone conversations, the obnoxious children and your own big bad self to your car or closet and let it out there.
Lee
October 20th, 2010
7:43 pm
Libraries, restaurants, churches, you name it and there is a general lack of decorum and manners prevalent. Heck, I’ve witnessed someone talking on a cell phone during a funeral service. Of course, she did talk r-e-a-l l-o-w so only the dozen or so folks around her could hear her conversation.
I don’t remember folks being this disrespectful and ill-mannered when I was growing up. Must be all the d*mn yankees who moved down here and screwed everything up….
Momof2
October 21st, 2010
12:07 am
This is so funny – the noisemakers I find the most annoying are the older library patrons – these are the ones who don’t have to be good examples to their own children anymore… On a weekend the chatter does get up there and they’re oblivious to other people in the area.
library user
October 21st, 2010
5:10 pm
I heard the library staff ask the mother to step outside and calm the child. SHE got loud and rude and ignored her child and refused to go outside. All the workers wanted was her to calm the baby which she NEVER did. Even when she was yelling and cursing the cops she ignored her crying child. The workers never asked her to be arrested. They just wanted her to take time to quiet the child which she didn’t do instead she got rude and noisy.
likesitquiet
October 24th, 2010
1:22 am
I totally think the police were right. @library user-I’m glad someone on this post was there to witness the situation. I work at an office and it is so hard to conduct business when people are letting their kids squeal and run around. an 18 month old has no business in the gen public at a library. Take your kid to one of the small rooms there or to the kids area. that’s what it is there for. I’m sure the lady has authority problems already. I am white but I have seen plenty of white parents not discipline their kids and then the black parents, men and women, come in and their kids sit in the chairs and dont say a word until time to go. I know kid will make noise and all that but come on 18 months. Get your books and go–if you want to use a computer go to best buy/office depot you can get one for cheap. I can remember when I was in college and had to go to the library to research material. I needed to use books that I couldn’t check out and someone would bring their loud kid up there and would be up there sitting around reading novels while their kid was all loud. It’s not fair to people that are trying to study at all. She wasn’t arrested for her kid being loud but for being combative. I’ve seen plenty of people get mad when they are told their kids are bad. The truth hurts. Hopefully, this will set a higher standard for people’s actions when they visit a public library. I’ve read the posts from the kiddie libraries in the schools. They are catering to children mainly. Public libraries funded by working adults should be operated for the working class that is paying taxes to fund public libraries–not operated for bebe’s kids.