Peachtree City middle school meanness: Symptom of a culture gone awry or parents gone AWOL?

Children imitate their parents. Many, many adults behave like bullies now, it has become the norm. Your children see you doing it so they think it is not only acceptable but necessary.

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If this isn’t nipped in the bud, imagine what monsters these kids will become by the time they reach college age.

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Capital punishment for bullies would solve the problem.

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Hmmm, I still think this is much ado about nothing. The big difference here is that we put names on and sensationalize any and all aberrant behavior. This type of cruelty has been around for decades–even in young girls. It’s nothing knew. As I’ve said before, what really worries me is kids inability to deal with it–i.e., lack of self esteem.

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Woody Bass,

You’re absolutely right. As someone stated earlier, much of this is learned behavior . . . and not just from parents or TV. For every church pastor, minister, or priest who is preaching the evils of homosexuality and the eventual descent to hell for those who engage in them, there is a room ful of children listening, absorbing, and thinking. Hate is hate no matter how nicely you sweeten it.

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When I was 7, I watched the Smurfs. My niece is 7, and she idolizes Hannah Montana. I sat through one episode and was shocked. Definitely a show for pre-teens. Not something for my niece, who has been watching for two years. I tried very nicely to bring this up with her mother, my SIL, who told me “It’s on Disney Channel, so it’s fine.” That’s the problem with parents nowadays!

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Much-a-do about nothing. Let the kids have their fun.

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I saw a movie preview in D.C. this week for “Fair Game” and there’s a scene in which two people are yelling at one another to make a point, and the one character says if “I yell louder, does it make me right.” Well, just because bullying and taunting has been around for decades, that doesn’t make it right. Our world is mean because we allow or want it to be mean, and adults enable the meanness in children. Children should not have to go to school to be subjected to bullying and it has nothing to do with self esteem but everything to do with the bully’s lack of self control and respect for self. The bully is actually the one with the self esteem problem and using his/her influence to create havoc to feel better about their life. So unfortunate and sad. Someone tried to bully me in middle school and I fought back. She never tried it again and we actually became good acquaintances throughout high school. But I had to fight back and that had nothing to do with self esteem but self preservation.

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I agree with the first post. How many times do you think these parents uttered a negative and or hateful remark and not consider the consequences.

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I love GLEE but I don’t think it should be on at 8:00. When I was in middle school, the TV show James at 15 (anyone remember that show? ) was off-limits because of mature subject matter, but it was on at 10:00 PM. Most middle-school kids are still up at 8:00.

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As a girl I was bullied and it has stayed with me forever. I’m now the mother of a 12-year-old girl and I witness bullying every day. I am probably overly sensitive to bullying because I’ve seen first hand the harm it can do. I”m the parent who notifies the school when a child (not always my own) tells me about bullying and intimidating behavior. I’m shocked with the number parents who feel that bullying much worse than this is just no big deal as long as their kid isn’t being targeted. I’m even more shocked when I learn that a school doesn’t inform the parents when such behavior is taking place. Kids need to be talked with about bullying at school & home. While this school doesn’t like being associated with this sort of thing, I applaude them for confronting this situation head on.

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RE: V for Vendetta, 11:56

“As I’ve said before, what really worries me is kids inability to deal with it–i.e., lack of self esteem.”

And how does their self-esteem go down so low? By being constantly BULLIED AT SCHOOL!!!!! Have you not been paying attention to the seemingly constant national stories recently about kids committing suicide because they’d been bullied to that point? And no one in authority at school had done anything about it. The kids cry out for help, and in some instances their parents go to the school asking for help to stop the bullying, and time after time they are told things like “If we don’t see/hear it, we can’t deal with it”, or “I’ll have a little talk with Johnny (or Suzy), or my personal favorite, “Kids will be Kids”. With the attitude you are showing you are part of the problem. Just because “This type of cruelty has been around for decades–even in young girls. It’s nothing knew” doesn’t make it ok. It means that we still haven’t done enough to protect those who are being bullied to death.

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Whatever happened to “sticks and stones”? Why are we raising these whiners? Teach your child he/she is the only person in control of their feelings. Teach them early in life not to care what other people think. Do not empower others to determine your happiness. Toughen up! It’s is and has always been a harsh world!

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Oh yeah, and let’s all blame the victim.

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It’s not that we’re raising wussies,it’s that kids are relentless these days. A friend of mine’s sister, was teased at school in a very harsh way. Her mother had just recently passed away, another student at the school said something to the affect of “we’re having a cook-out, you should invite your mom – oh wait! You can’t, because she’s dead!”. This little girl was only in middle school when this happened. Now, back in the old days, we’d punch the kid in the nose and call it a day, but we can’t do that. Kids are more fearful of getting in trouble or expelled for violence when sticking up for themselves, that they don’t know what else to do. Yet, we aren’t fixing the real issues, the BULLY! The child who would throw the first punch would get in the most trouble, usually that is the child who is defending themselves from something said or done to them first. The other child, who got hit, would get a slap on the wrist, or a “talkin’ to” and that’s it. So, we’ve taught our kids NOT to fight, but haven’t given them any other avenue to fight back, except words. And words can be more harmful than fists. We need to fix the ROOT of the issue…Maybe parents need to sit down with their kids more an explain right from wrong, watch their tv programs, monitor their computer usage….it’s just a thought…

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World of Hate,

“kids are relentless these days.”

These days? They’ve ALWAYS been relentless. Nothing has changed. We’re just not teaching them to deal with it. And, in point of fact, if either of my children retaliated physically against a bully who had first gone after them, I frankly wouldn’t care what stupid punishment the school gave them. Why can’t we teach kids to

1. respect themselves
2. walk away
3. verbally confront
4. if needs be, fight back

Seems like a pretty easy progression to teach to a child.

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Welcome to PTC. Home of Conservative Christian Republicians (Teabaggers). Accountability has long left this town. “My kid can do no wrong”. If the parents only knew what was going on at the high schools, they wouldn’t believe it.

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God!! You people make me sick!!

This is a FREE SPEECH issue. Let the peer pressure work it out. You can’t just go in there and shut this sort of thing down, you people are willingly tossing your (scarce) freedoms right out the window.

You should publicize it, and let the peer pressure work. You people that willingly toss your freedoms away, freedoms that people fought for and lost their LIVES over, make me want to PUKE!! I’m ashamed you even call yourselves Americans.

There are FAR better ways of working with something like this than just going in there and telling these fools they have to shut something down, because somebody is offendddddeeddd…… (freaking cyrbabies….)

I wish you idiots would grow up for a change. You’re pathetic.

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@V for Vendetta and all the rest who see this as no big deal -the differences today from when we were kids are a) the school administrations take a “head in the sand” approach because they’re SO afraid of being sued -by the bully’s parents; b) the bullies know they can get away with quite a bit that they would have been expelled or sent to alternative school for back in our day (or just plain had their a**es kicked -but the victims get expelled if they do that now); c) -the biggie -with Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and the internet in general, there aren’t just one or two bullies or mean girls in school these days. Every gutless little puke who has no self-esteem himself/herself so they must pick on others is texting and posting away. They get to hide behind a keyboard so it doesn’t matter how big or popular or good-looking they are. Often, they can get the egotistical “popular” crowd to befriend them simply by putting something awful together about another student or students. and of course -last but not least d) Lack of parenting -so many parents today are teaching their kids NOTHING about manners, empathy, social skills, etc. They expect the schools and television to do it all for them. The parents are so self-absorbed that they had kids as an accessory and spend no time with them instilling any character whatsoever. They’re the first ones to jump up and say their kids would NEVER do some of these things and they’ll sue the school system if their child is targeted as a bully! Since they never pay any attention to their kid, they actually have no clue what he or she might do.

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Get real folks. I am nearly 50 years old and, yes, from early childhood on up have been the subject of and, yes, perpetrator, of “bullying” (seems to me it was referred to as teasing when I was young). Regardless of what you call it, some kids will be picked on (most actually) and some kids will be “popular.” If you teach your child to be a “victim” as opposed to teaching them that life is not always roses and some folks are cretins to be ignored, they will be so throughout their life. We’re not automatons, life is not perfect, and, with a few glaring exceptions out there, folks need to get over it.

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V for Vendetta , I don’t mean to be argumentative….but I”m very happy that my kids don’t go to school with your kids.

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So… Hannah Montana is threatening to the geek moms. *yawn*

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Ha! Note the language skills of the person who wrote: “Peachtree City Police are investigating to determine who created the web site, and if any crimes were broken.”

I thought that crimes are ~committed~ when LAWS are broken, such as, apparently, the laws that prohibit people from expressing opinions about homosexuality contrary to those held by homosexuals.

Or laws that prohibit people from expressing opinions about race contrary to those held by liberals.

Or laws that prohibit people from expressing opinions about the behavior of the NSDAP’s Schutzstaffel during the Second World War which are contrary to those held by Jews.

Or laws that prohibit people from expressing opinions about gender roles contrary to those held by feminists.

Or laws that used to prohibit Russians from expressing opinions about Marxism contrary to those held by the Communist Party of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

Anybody who disagrees with them, and gets caught doing it, will get an organized, public ostracism and the pedantic scrutiny of various civil authorities, who will end up doing to the dissidents as much actual harm as they are legally allowed to do. Which, except for that last category, isn’t much, since it remains legal to look askance at homosexuality, at the idea of racial equality, at exaggerated Holocaust claims, or at women being made firefighters even though they can’t carry a heavy man down a ladder or even get over that darn barricade wall.

So far, that is. If these various leftists have their way, though, it soon will be illegal to dispute with them about what is right and what is wrong—every social discussion will become as dangerous to dissenters as it was to Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

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I don’t think I quite understand how “yolanda” seems proud of her (hopefully, former) bullying status. A lot of bullying can be avoided by kids simply understanding manners and appropriate social skills, which the parents are responsible for teaching their children. From the comments, I suspect that some people on this blog who were bullies have never gotten out of that role. Some people actually grew up and understand that appropriate behavior takes you farther in today’s world than being a teaser, bully, or whatever you want to call it.

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I knew this anti-bullying thing would get to absurd levels of PC and societal nonsense. And this is raising the red flag! Anti-bullying initiatives and eduction and information are great. When we start blaming a silly, non-violent, funcapes, dopey, FICTIONAL teen TV character for societal woes then we’re veering WAY into ruining-the-message territory. Not to mention just-please-shut-the-f-up territory.

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The pervasiveness is another problem. Not only the amount of kids acting as bullies, but the information they’re spreading is going EVERYWHERE. It used to be if a kid went to school in town and got picked on, he or she might still find friends or a safe haven at their church or another community organization where the school bullies weren’t. Now, these kids go online and post things on other kids’ facebook pages and make websites so that anyone and everyone who knows the person can read and see it. By bullying with text messages, they assault kids relentlessly day and night so that the kid doesn’t even feel safe in their own home -they literally cannot get away from it.

@wussies united and fatties united -it’s far different than it used to be. I’m all for toughening up and teaching kids to stand up for themselves -and more of that needs to be done. I don’t condone whining and I don’t call a kid being called “fat” or “stupid” once or twice or shoved once on the playground “bullying.” How would you feel though if you or your child had a web page or Facebook page made about them with hundreds of posts stating they were a whore who f**ked guys in the a** and took money for BJs? Where photoshopped nude pix of your son or daughter were posted with this info? If literally most anyone in the world could view it? If a potential employer or college where they were applying “googled” them and saw it (because the do -more and more everyday). Would you tell your sobbing child to “suck it up” or “take control of their own feelings”? How about two or three (or even one) person constantly texting them day and night about what a fat, dumb, ugly, hated piece of crap they are and how no one likes them and honestly most people in their class wish they would kill themselves -all of this at age 10 or 11? You think that sort of thing might just wear down an 11 year olds’ armor a bit? Also be aware, that if your kid had the power to go into school and beat the hell out of the folks who did this -YOUR kid would be expelled and possibly arrested and charged with assault. Today’s bullying is FAR different than anything we experienced.

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First thing we have to admit is that bullying isn’t anything new. Everyone in this blog has been bullied or done the bullying. The only new part of the equation is the internet. What use to be slambooks is now a webpage. The administration was slow to move back in the day, just as they are now. The worse I had to deal with was someone bringing a knife to a fist fight, now it’s guns. When’s the last time can honestly say they went to their local PTA meeting and brought up a topic other than booster club?

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The pervasiveness is another problem. Not only the amount of kids acting as bullies, but the information they’re spreading is going EVERYWHERE. It used to be if a kid went to school in town and got picked on, he or she might still find friends or a safe haven at their church or another community organization where the school bullies weren’t. Now, these kids go online and post things on other kids’ facebook pages and make websites so that anyone and everyone who knows the person can read and see it. By bullying with text messages, they assault kids relentlessly day and night so that the kid doesn’t even feel safe in their own home -they literally cannot get away from it.

@wussies united and fatties united -it’s far different than it used to be. I’m all for toughening up and teaching kids to stand up for themselves -and more of that needs to be done. I don’t condone whining and I don’t call a kid being called “fat” or “stupid” once or twice or shoved once on the playground “bullying.” How would you feel though if you or your child had a web page or Facebook page made about them with hundreds of posts stating they were a w**re who f’d guys in the a** and took money for oral s** (I’m having to clean up because even though I subbed with asterisks my first attempt isn’t showing up)? Where photoshopped nude pix of your son or daughter were posted with this info? If literally most anyone in the world could view it? If a potential employer or college where they were applying “googled” them and saw it (because the do -more and more everyday). Would you tell your sobbing child to “suck it up” or “take control of their own feelings”? How about two or three (or even one) person constantly texting them day and night about what a fat, dumb, ugly, hated piece of crap they are and how no one likes them and honestly most people in their class wish they would kill themselves -all of this at age 10 or 11? You think that sort of thing might just wear down an 11 year olds’ armor a bit? Also be aware, that if your kid had the power to go into school and beat the hell out of the folks who did this -YOUR kid would be expelled and possibly arrested and charged with assault. Today’s bullying is FAR different than anything we experienced.

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Rod, Southern Hope, FC Mom,

Sheesh. Maybe I need to clarify: Once bullying is taking place, it is already too late to make a meaningful change. I’m not saying you shouldn’t put a stop to it; I’m saying you shouldn’t expect it to stop. Big difference.

Unless we teach our kids how to deal with bullies THEMSELVES, then we can expect more and more outbreaks of violence, suicide, and hatred. It’s a new world out there, one in which technology allows kids unfettered access to each other’s personal lives. Rather than marching on bullies with torches and pitchforks, we should teach our children the dangers of the internet, how to protect themselves, and that other people should be treated with respect unless you’re given a reason otherwise.

You’re all right on one account: poor parental involvement often creates the worst of bullies, the ones who end up doing something violent or dangerous. Those are the students we should be looking at expelling, not a bunch of little girls who made a website that hurts people’s feelings.

You can make fun of my parenting skill all you want (an awfully low blow, don’t you think?), but I am proud to be raising two strong, confident children who will love themselves and take pride in their accomplishments. As John Galt said in Atlas Shrugged: “I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”

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Children are vicious. Everyone knows this. The teachers at that school know very well who the bullies are and do nothing about it. But most of the popular kids burn out early, anyway. It’s fun to watch.

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Aside from determining if students are gay or not, I don’t see anything wrong with the site. Don’t most yearbooks have things like “Most Popular” in them?

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@Kat. It has been a long time since our soldiers fought for our freedom, and I wonder when people will see that this slogan for the tired, old cliche it is. I generally approve of soldiers, and sometimes soldiers do things that are good because they are necessary. It certainly is possible for a US soldier to fight so that an American can be free, when he otherwise wouldn’t be. But lately US military forces have not been employed for that purpose. They’ve been used to make the rich corporations even richer. They’ve been used to fight Israel’s enemies so the Jews won’t have to bear the expense or take the losses. But, as far as I know, the last time an American soldier fought for Americans’ freedom was during the Civil War—both sides fought for freedom in that war, or at least they thought they were; it was a question of whose freedom was the more important.

Ever since then, US military forces have been used to secure political objectives. American soldiers have crossed oceans to fight in other people’s countries, so that rich Americans might have greater profits. Starting with arms manufacturers. Arguably, the US Navy defended American freedom in the Pacific theater of WW2, but the fight with Japan was provoked by FDR, who convinced the Japanese government that the US would attack them soon no matter what they did. It is understandable that, war being unavoidable, Japan would want to get in the first solid punch.

It’s gotten to the point where the phrase “fight for our freedoms” makes me gag a little. How stupid are people, anyway? Do I look dumb enough to buy it? There’s nothing wrong with being patriotic, but don’t confuse patriotism with bandwagon sloganeering or “flag-waving.” Patriotism refers to the favorable regard that people who descend from common fathers have for each other. Nationalism refers to the mutual love between people of similar heritage (the idea that used to be expressed as “common birth”). Neither word has anything to do with a particular government, a particular political organization, or a particular flag.

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@Sam; Much as you and I might enjoy that, capitol punishment for bullies will never happen ( at least not legally).

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@Hoofty. This whole tempest-in-a-teapot is just another example of what hypocrisy infests the left. If there is “nothing wrong” with being a homosexual, then why do leftists object when someone publishes a website (or a school year book) in which the award for the “Gayest” student is presented alongside the student voted “Most Likely to Succeed”? What? You mean they aren’t ~both~ honorable mentions? Do I understand that there is something stigmatizing about being a homosexual? And if there’s something wrong with the word “queer,” then why are homosexuals so fond of using it when referring to themselves and each other? Why, it’s beginning to appear that homosexuals have More Freedom Of Speech than other folks have. I don’t think that I like the idea.

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As a former schol bus driver for JC Booth and McIntosh in PTC the parents of these children are notorious for allowing their wallets to babysit their children and most have absolutely NO idea what is going on in the lives of their children. There is a major line in this city….the haves and the have-nots. These kids will not be stopped by an assembly or someone saying “Tell me who set up this site”. As usual it will go underground and the torments will continue as they have for the last 15 years. My children were raised on the outskirts of PTC and I made it clear from the start that I would not compete with the money that is thrown around by the parents and teens of this city..and my kids turned out wonderful…..with respect for other people no matter what their differences are.

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it doesn’t matter if it has always been around and people have always been affected by it. It was always wrong and it is wrong now. With the internet and social networking sites and lack of parental responsibility bullying today is not the same. It can be anonymous and remain forever. Schools abrogate responsibility or teachers even participate. When someone can call the president of the United States “liar” and be applauded for it no one is immune. Freedom of speech was never meant to allow people to harass or lie about others, hound them, intimidate them, incite violence against them, or hurt their feelings to no purpose. We should call out this cowards and expose them, and their parents, and hold them accountable. It’s ok to dislike anyone for any reason; it’s not ok to act like this.

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Maybe if these imbecile (kids and parents) cared more about education than social standing our entire country wouldn’t be doomed.

Kids in Korea, Germany, Norway, and other nations are focused on learning (what a concept).

Kids in Georgia are focused on social standing, cutting class, and bringing weapons to school

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dads are put down
moms are overly built up, if someone is great already, there is no need for improvement or self-regulating
and kids are special just because they are kids
these 3 things lead to disarray
a rise in the lack of empathy and compassion are symptoms
kids are cool, they are important but they’ve been built up to believe that they are more special than they really are just for being a kid. they are just undeveloped humans. and when a human proves themself to be special then they are special. the day care said it best: kids r kids
they’re fun and interesting but a work in progress. they should be protected and treated well.
when a kid watches mom and dad use them as an excuse that maybe mom and dad just really want from themselves the kid sees that. that has an affect on what they think their role is or may be in the family.
i see kids making family decisions on all kinds of tv shows, and it’s treated as cute, it’s too much, my parents would tell me to stay out of the way this is an adult decision.
i’ve seen way to many kids in bars and restaurant bars – not right
watching too many reality shows whose whole basis is finding the worst person and following them around all the time watching them do bad things, this sinks in
just like advertising and tv and movies
got a problem? throw a drink on somebody
irritated? punch somebody
all these things sink in
too many parents out spending on their kid more than another parent in attempt to make things look like they are doing better parenting, sometimes the kids get too much
and the kids are smart enough to see how they are being used and are also smart enough to manipulate it to their advantage whenever they can.
make dad and mom equals
stop making kids a higher rank in the family than they actually should be
and it wouldn’t even hurt if you told them more about Jesus and less about Christianity
less about Republican and Democrat and more about what is the most good
take as many labels as possible away from important issues and make the best choice possible fully understanding that nothing is perfect
the division in this country perfectly orchestrated by some political leaders has hamstrung us many times in recent years from being able to make good decisions
1/3 of my belief is liberal. 1/3 moderate and 1/3 conservative
it just depends on the issue and what could be the best possible action
we all need to treat this country more like that.
the world isn’t black and white, so binary 1’s and 0’s
all this has a great affect on the people of this country, and yes that includes families
when we say things like the children are our future when really it’s the other way around, we are our children’s future, we distort and distract.
the way politicians are constantly using children for their own personal gain, with such a poor track record so evident, should loudly be exposed as selfish pandering.

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ok-’the almost perfect orchestration’ but ya gotta admit, when comes to personal gain at any cost, politicians are quite skilled

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Dare we blame….. the kids and the parents???? Gulp!

Dont’ we always blame the teachers? Or, at least blame the school? How can we get away from our scapegoat?

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@V for V: You have to admit the irony in this: “Forsyth County mom, Take your meds. I don’t condone bullying, and I would be the first to straighten my kids out if I caught them doing such a thing. It is thuggish and pathetic.” As the mom replied, “take your meds” and implying that someone who disagrees with you has a mental illness is a clear example of online bullying.

Look, folks, you can natter on about how the world is just awful and kids need to be toughened up to face it–and that won’t help. It’s blaming the victim, letting the bully off the hook, and sending exactly the wrong message to youth.

I’d rather look at the kids who are growing up to make the world awful and intervene so they don’t.

Further, I think online bullying in anonymous forums like this one ought to be called out and not accepted. That’s not the same thing as passing a law against it; I advocate for community standards of civility, and those who don’t meet them need to be shamed until they leave or change their behavior. But that’s for adults.

Children are *learning*. They are in school, and there are plenty of rules in school that become proper-but-not-legislated behavior for adults. No one is going to incarcerate an adult for speaking harshly to someone, but in school, the behavior needs to be corrected. Otherwise, we’ll have a lot of out-of-control adults–and with more power, their bad behavior will have even more societal repercussions.

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bless ya brother Cobb, I couldn’t take the torture, can’t believe how much more parents stand up for their kids today when the kid has done something wrong, acting as if this is protecting the kid, when actually it’s not corrected negative behavior and can ultimately hurt the kid in the future by planting a seed of unaccountability and irresponsibilty.
hang in there, i’ll contact amnesty international on behalf of all teachers

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@RKG. I don’t think that “mean girls” was the focus of the blog entry. There was a fictional production some while back that dealt with the subject of mean girls, but it looks to me like it was used here only because it was handy. Nobody has suggested that most bullies are girls. You just made that up as a strawman to give yourself a talking point and to posture yourself as the guru of gender fairness. Confess and repent of your sins.

I’m not ignorant of the meaning of the First Amendment, but you might be. The manner by which government denies people freedom is, sometimes, law. Occasionally, the freedom denied is one we are better off without. Should we all have the freedom to rob each other of personal property? No. Are laws against theft thus good things? Yes.

Years and years ago, certain white men engaged in creating our Republic decided that some of the freedoms we do need, of which the government should never create laws to deny us, were the freedoms of religion, speech, press, petition, and peaceful assembly. That’s what the First Amendment was for: forbidding any government in the United States from abridging, with laws, the freedom of speech, among other things.

But there are laws, and there are government actions that might as well be laws, even if they never were enacted by a legislative body. When the police harass you in your home because you and they support different candidates for city mayor, they are behaving illegally, but because they are the official organ of the government for law enforcement who are behaving illegally, what they do has the force of law. Unless and until some greater force puts a stop to it, there’s no difference as far as you are concerned: the local government will have violated the First Amendment.

And likewise for any other civil authority. If you express an idea or an opinion which they don’t like, and they burden you in your person, your money, your property, or your civil capacities, then they have infringed upon your freedom of speech, whether there is a written law that lets them do so, or not. That includes the civil authority resident in public schools.

Dissembling? No, indeed. I was doing no such thing. I admit to speaking with tongue in cheek while writing that paragraph about homosexuals having more rights than the rest of us (e.g., the right to use any slang word that has come to mean “homosexual”), but I was not trying to misrepresent my opinion.

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I agree with V for Vendetta. I will teach my son to stand up for himself. Even as an adult, I have found that if you stand your ground, a typical “bully” finds out that their fear tactics don’t work. Most overly aggressive people are insecure cowards at heart. Teachers and school administrators can play a big part in this too. Sometimes it seems they are just as concerned with being “liked” or “popular” as kids are.

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Way to go David Sims and OMG!

and Bozo—your name says it all.

I am sure you were greatly missed at the high school reunion

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Recently we had annual Pride here in ATL. What kind of “pride” is it to parade around looking like a fool and demanding acceptance from others in return? Do you not realize that the very acceptance you are trying to obtain is obliterated when you try to shove it down people’s throat as “normal”?

Tolerance is a two way street. There will always be bullies and those that don’t like you deal with it.

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@David Sims
I have nothing to confess regarding my comment about mean girls. I created no strawman, and I see myself as no guru. I truly bristled at the continued reference to the mean girl as a type – both the movie representation and the cited research. The very specific discussion of female behavior is, in my opinion, not germane to the overall point of the article.

Regarding your discussion of the first amendment, I disagree with the extent to which you have applied it. Schools absolutely should make and enforce rules to govern student behavior, which usually extends to their speech.

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Forget about trying to get your kids involved in extra curricular activies and sports to get them away from technology, the bullies are everywhere. Many of the parents at the ball park are bullies, putting down other children and adults to lift their kid to super stardom.

Afterall, little Austin is going to be the next baseball pheonom and save mommy and daddy from their miserable adult lives. Mommy & daddy don’t realize they have already turned Austin into a by-product of themselves and now no one likes the entire family. They talk crap, lie and bully their way into your lives for social acceptance. Same can be said for Susie the next prima ballerina and Jack the next Bill Gates.

Heck this website and blog perpetuate bullying! We ALL are to blame!

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I live in PTC. I am acutely aware of the “Bubble” attitude. I agree a lot of children’s attitudes are the direct result of parents living through their children. Hence the “Alpha” syndrome. At issue here is the Bullying is surreptitiously done. If I was attacked, I defended myself. Once you give a bully a black eye, or even in most cases stood up to them, they would retreat. In the cyber-world you do not have that luxury. They are scum that hide behind anonymity. They are worse than bullies of old.

I have read some of the postings and a lot of them talk about the “Freedom of Speech” and the “First Amendment”. These do not exist the same form in a public school. This has been argued many times in the past. If the language is disruptive to the educational environment or goes against stated “Rules” (drug, violence, sexual orientation etc.), the school have the right and the obligation to address it.
http://www.law.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/conlaw/studentspeech.htm

While I would like to know who these bullies were, see them with a black eye, expulsion would probably be the more civilized approach.

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This behavior has been going on for years. I am 33 years old and it occurred while I was in Middle School, except we did not have the benefit of the web or categorize by sexual orientation. A list was created using notebook paper, photocopied and scattered throughout the halls of the school. The Author(s) were never discovered. In college, a similar list was created and distributed, this time named the “freak list” and specificically listing supposed sexual activities of students. I knew a girl who was listed on this list, the information was untrue (she suspected from a young man who’s advances she avoided), it was so traumatizing to her, she transferred to another college the following semester.

It is disappointing this behavior occurs, however, in my experience it seems to be a part of teen/young adult growing pains and even though the Author(s) may be minors I ‘think’ the behavior is protected under our first amendment rights, except they may have crossed the line with sexual orientation and i’m wondering if it can be considered discrimination, it will be interesting to see what the police department finds concerning the legal implications if any of this online list.

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Someone wrote that the children who are bullied need to deal with it or get over it. That is a very naive comment…some kids do deal with it, they get depressed and kill themselves OR they bring guns to school and shoot the school up. I don’t think anyone one wants to see either extreme.
Parents need to teach their kids better and schools need to be swift in dealing with trouble makers and bullies.

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It’s all abstract, even fun and games to some, until one of the bullied decided to send a message. While I do not think violence done to the self or to the bullies is ever the answer, nothing else seems to focus society’s attention quite like a bullied child gone wild with a gun in school.

We seem to have not learn much from what happen at Columbine and other tragic incidents of fed up kids who decide to respond by using murder or murder-suicide because adults are too busy letting “kids be kids”.

Society seems not to care much if the unpopular, fat, non athletic,straight-A gay, or alleged gay kids off themselves. It’s only when the jocks and cheerleader types are gunned down that we see an outpouring of sustained sympathy and a demand for action.

It is only after having a brush with a gun toting angry kid that teachers and school officials are able to summon a bit of circumspection and decided that maybe they should not have stood idly by while the “high-value” kids tormented the “low-value” kids day, after day, after week, after month.

I hope we don’t see anymore violence, but with every high profile incident such as this webpage, I really fear that it’s just a matter of time before some kid seeks a “Second Amendment” solution to being bullied. We all need to pray very hard and then go work hard to avert bloodshed.

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Sounds like these bullies are going to be great additions to the liberal socialist party when they reach voting age. So sad. Children are a reflection of their parents.

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“Society seems not to care much if the unpopular, fat, non athletic,straight-A gay, or alleged gay kids off themselves.”

Did you miss the entire tragedy with the gay Rutgers student who killed himself? Seems like society cares.

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Members of the Tea Party are not necessarily bullies..no more than Democrats or Republicans….Bullies are everywhere.

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I am sorry for every mean thing I ever said to undeserving person just because she may not have worn the “in” clothes, wasn’t thin, or seemed like some study geek. Once upon a time in 8th grade, we were finished with PE, bored and would pick on one ‘big” girl, Pam. It was wrong. I knew that the minute I walked up to her but you wanted to be in the cool group. I quit when I realzied we were all were silly and insecure. I wish I could find Pam and apologize for our immaturity. I hope she survived and developed the “thick skin” all of you talk about but really, where is your compasion. We are such a “Christian Nation”? Wrong. We are about being on top. Being charge. Being Right. If you are different, you are wrong. You do not belong. Teenagers are all about black and white. It is immature. It is wrong. Parents can help. Good adult role models can do a lot to make sure that we are gracious and accepting and we do not strive to make ourselves look better by destroying someone else.

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Why is no one suing these bullies for SLANDER? If they do their bullying over the public internet, they are liable.

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“You can change being fat. You can’t change your race or your sexual orientation (despite what the bible beaters say).”

When being gay (or lesbian) / these days is a lifestyle choice, especially with the expeimentation and indoctrination periods from middle school through college, it is obviously something you CAN CHANGE. Don’t blame it on the bible beaters – I have a gay brother who openly admits that many in the GLBT community treat homosexuality as a choice that can be changed once they “make up their mind”. He also firmly believes that this lifestyle choice is why the few that really are homosexual are not and never will be taken seriously.

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@ George Johnson – I concur with you concerning the FREE SPEECH aspects of this debate. I don’t’ believe the real answer here is to direct public education administrators to become the police of adolescent free speech. I fear we will not like what results from pushing things in that direction. Ultimately parents will have to collectively step into the void that exists and take some accountability for their kids actions. This means more proactive guidance and (hold your breath) letting them feel the wrath of consequence if their actions over step the bounds of what should be considered acceptable behavior. Common sense home training seems to be the missing element to me. Sure contemporary technology has amplified age old behaviors, but has become of the element of control and guidance that used to be the responsibility of the family? Is this no longer to be expected? Help the grown folks, they need more help than the children do !!!
@ RKG – While you are correct we’re not necessarily protected from consequences of our speech, we cannot be persecuted for expression of unpopular opinion or perspective. If you’re reaction is drastic to the point of death in response my expressed opinion, I’m finding it abit difficult to say that any individual should be held absolutely responsible that reaction. I believe there needs to be some demonstration of intent to cause bodily harm either in word or deed before we start marching people into court rooms and holding them responsible for the another person’s reaction to amounts to public discourse.

@PTC – AGAIN, I would be quite learly of us stretching the conduct policy you quoted (“If the language is disruptive to the educational environment…”) to extend all the way into individuals homes which ARE NOT THE DOMAIN OF THE PUBLIC EDUCATIONAL ENVIRONMENT. If we want to go down that road, is the suggestion then that the Public Education system across the country is at liberty to legislate all behaviors that occur in a families home. Where do we draw the line following your logic? Because a private website is potentially discussed in school, the material distributed through the site now becomes the domain of public school administrators to police? Really??

@ Toto – If there was to be legal case filed then perhaps you’ve landed on the charge that would appear to me to be closest to the reported issue in PTC. Although I’m not convienced that all of the expressions placed on the site could be catorgized as such. I guess my biggest concern as I’ve repeatedly expressed is where is the line drawn and to what extent is ushering our kids into the legal system succeeding in mitigating the problem (because I don’t think it could ever be completely eliminated). I fear we would create a far bigger problem than the one we’re trying to curb as a result.

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I think the phrase goes “I may be fat but you’re ugly and I can diet”.
I would never wish for anyone of any stripe to be bullied. Not even children of republicans.
However, this is a small example of what people do to one another all the time. Kids see this. It’s not that it has to be controlled. It can’t be. You bring up your kids right, love them deeply, give them a sense of worth, well, I think that’s all that is needed.

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Kids have been “mean” toward one another….well…forever. They have dealt with it in one way or another…well…forever. Somehow, in spite of the mental trauma of being labeled one way or another, previous generations have somehow managed to become adults of one sort or another. IT IS, ALWAYS WAS, AND WILL ALWAYS BE…THE NATURAL PROCESS OF GROWING UP. Leave the kids alone; let em deal with their social issues. STOP BUTTING IN!

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For those comparing bullying 20 years ago to bullying today are not thinking seriously, and are saying “let kids be kids.” Just you wait until your child or family member has to deal with bullying. we have had this problem at our school. Frankly, I don’t believe it’s being handled adequately by the administration. Teachers’ hands are tied. We write referrals, about blatant harassment and poor conduct of students. We get the administrators in our rooms, making observations of us, because they don’t want to deal with angry parents, want to keep their referral numbers low. Students have moved from the name calling and fights, of 20 years ago or so, to electronic and cyber-bullying. Information that can be displayed, replayed, reused, and altered over and over again. Students use the school’s media, yearbook etc, internet, even school functions, to harass students. the problem is it’s not “nipped in the bud” and the parents aren’t held accountable for their child’s behavior. to those who say “let kids, be kids, ” you’re out of touch, you haven’t a clue.

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Hey, look people…show me a better way, enunciate a plan by which the bullied might secure a modicum of control in their lives. Rather than lambast those who support a return to “the ole ways”, please, if you will, come up with a WORKABLE plan which will allow kids to gain a shred of self respect. Bullying, after all, is a social disease which does not/will not go away with the passage of time. As adults, we often encounter those who cling to the behavioral habits of the class bully…perhaps in more “socially acceptable” format, but, nonetheless, bullys. They may be in their 40s/50s and beyond. They expect the world to shiver and quake in their presence. If the kid does not learn the right AND the wrong ways in dealing with these people, that kid’s generation will surely shrivel in the face of adversity. When the kid goes toe-to-toe with the bully, mixes it up, and, eventually, learns that there are indeed better ways in dealing with this social scourge, you will witness generation which can handle the demands of the adult world without landing in jail.

Lambast the old ways, if you will, without even attempting to introduce a better way. You know, as well as anyone, that expecting parents to provide the guidance necessary to provide for responsible youth is all but moot. The very same applies to the schools which are run by people who are scared of their own shadows. I maintain that, in the absence of guidance, both from home and the schools, kids are on their own to learn…for themselves….how to handle life’s stressors. It only gets worse as the kid becomes an adult…only in more subtle forms. Look, I’m an ole guy, staring at Medicare in the not-too-distant future. The last time I had to “mix it up”…short of armed conflict sanctioned by the Government…was in my 20s. It’s certainly no fun and can be extremely dangerous, however, the alternative can be much more so, both in terms of self esteem and one’s performance as a human being upon this Earth which we all have but a very short time to visit.

Before you make such comments deriding the ole ways, think long term. While you’re at it, you might try to suggest a few alternatives which have more than a snow ball’s chance in hell of producing real results.

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There is always mention of parents worrying about their children being bullied, but I never hear about anyone worrying that their child is the bully. The problem with fixing bulling is that the only people who care about it are the ones that are victimized. Furthermore, just as it is in the nature for bullies to bully it will always be the nature of victims to be to afraid to report the bulling. They are to afraid to tell anybody and they think if the don’t tell it will just stop.

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