In worrying about middle school girls showing too much “hide,” are we seeking out problems that don’t exist?

When I was a kid, I often tagged along with my cousin Nancy and her pal Peggy. Although they were five years older than me, they would sometimes indulge my hero worship. On one such occasion, I walked down the street with Nancy to pick up Peggy as the two of them were going to a junior high dance. (I was allowed to come over only to ooh and ahh over their ensembles) As the very tall and very slim Peggy walked out to her front porch in her dress, her dad stopped her, telling her that her dress was far too short and should be just above the knee.

Why, a petulant Peggy asked him, did he always complain about her skirt lengths and not those of her older sister Ellen, who was a lot shorter with a much rounder profile.

“For one thing, I can’t even tell where her knees begin,” her dad replied. “There’s a lot more of you showing.”

I thought about that exchange when my own very tall and slim 11-year-old came home from sixth grade and told me that the principal said her skirt was too short.  When she left for school that morning, I hadn’t even considered that she was wearing a skirt in the regular sense as she wore it over leggings/skinny jeans that she already worn to school. She had also worn the leggings earlier with running shorts over them, a Pippi Longstocking look popular with high school girls in the neighborhood. And again, that outfit passed muster.

Despite the obvious inconsistencies — the leggings are OK by themselves or with shorts over them, but you can’t layer a skirt over them –  my sixth grader and I both agreed that this was the rule and she would abide by it. But then tonight, she came down to show me a simple, straight-forward T-shirt that she planned to wear tomorrow. “Would the principal think this shirt was see-through,” she asked me.

I wanted to reply, “Only if he wore X-ray glasses,” but I told her that the shirt was fine and that I couldn’t see any danger of it violating the dress code.

Up until three weeks ago, I never had a single discussion with my 11-year-old about the appropriateness of what she was wearing to school that day.  She picked her own  clothes to wear with little fanfare.

Yet, in the transition to middle school, sixth graders are suddenly confronted with inordinate attention to dress codes and particularly to how girls dress. My newbie middle schooler went from never thinking about what she would wear to school to thinking about it every day.

I don’t like the message that you are what you wear and that an inch this way or that spells the difference between wonk and tart. A researcher on self-image once told me that American girls learn early in life that they are under surveillance 24 hours a day and that the world will make judgments on how they look and project its own biases and fears on them. My neighbor told me that when she went to school in south Georgia, the principal would warn, “Girl, you’re showing too much hide!”

I have gone into high achieving private schools and seen outfits on girls that would get them sent home in public schools.  Did the clothing distract the other students? Not based on their scores. There is no evidence that dress codes improve student performance.

I recognize that children turn into adolescents quickly, but we rush the passage when we worry about whether a run-of-the-mill T-shirt crosses the line or whether 11-year-olds with SpongeBob Band-Aids on their knees from climbing trees are showing two inches of thigh or three.

130 comments Add your comment

catlady

August 25th, 2010
7:02 am

Your daughter doesn’t want the others to think of her as “that kind of girl.” (at least, I don’t think so). I would defer to the principal’s judgement, as you did. He sees the full range of possibilities/troubles. Be glad they enforce some kind of rules. (I don’t get the problem with leggings under a skirt, myself) Our school has a few rules on the books–very basic– but rarely enforces them (the parents howl) so we have developing ladies coming to school with increasingly skimpy clothes on, such as spaggetti straps with bra straps showing. What are these parents thinking, to even BUY these clothes. And the girls love the attention and then start one-upping each other for the attention.

Unfortunately, we have a teacher who pushes the envelope in terms of clothes, hair, and makeup. I grind my teeth on that one. Then she wonders why the fifth grade boys become so aggressive. Save it for the bedroom, lady.

look closer

August 25th, 2010
7:06 am

I had the same thought when I saw a first day of school picture of a friend’s daughter. The 9 year old girl was wearing an age appropriate sleeveless summer blouse that had narrow straps. It struck me that at her expensive private school, that blouse was okay, but in my DeKalb elementary school it would be considered inappropriate. This is despite the fact that the air conditioning at the DeKalb school rarely works, while I’m pretty sure the private school is cool and comfortable.

Former Teacher

August 25th, 2010
7:11 am

I certainly agree with you on one level, but some middle school girls have been known to change clothes once they arrive at school. Would that skirt pass muster with no leggings? Also, if you were the parent of a middle school boy, you might feel differently about how girls dress. As a former middle school teacher, I can completely understand why many charter middle schools require uniforms. It is just less distracting all around.

Proud Black Man

August 25th, 2010
7:29 am

“Also, if you were the parent of a middle school boy, you might feel differently about how girls dress.”

Then teach your middle school boy to keep his comments and hands to himself! Sheesh! Next thing you know you will be blaming the rape victim.

granny godzilla

August 25th, 2010
7:33 am

keep making excuses ladies while you raise another crop of sluts

bootney farnsworth

August 25th, 2010
7:41 am

more pointless left of center tripe.
the point of school is learning, not showing off the wares.

my child is in the Gwinnett system – complete with dress code.
while its occasionally heavy handed, for the most part its more than
reasonable.

just like common sense (yes, I know)says some personal business should be left off facebook, the same applies about dress in public.

bootney farnsworth

August 25th, 2010
7:44 am

our daughters have all their lives to be sexualized and barter themselves physically. let them have a few years as girls.

Dr NO

August 25th, 2010
7:50 am

The kids who attend private schools are much more cultured and intelligent than their lackluster public school run of the mill dumbbells.

This being the case our private school children are able to behave in a more mature fashion when confronted with possible dress code infractions and should be given some leeway.

The public school illiterates need to be monitored for infractions, especially in APS, Dekalb/Fulton/Clayton school systems and upon discovery of said infraction should be forced to change. In this way we might limit teen pregnancy and keep eliminate future welfare queens and food stamp moms and baby-mamas.

bootney farnsworth

August 25th, 2010
7:51 am

@ catlady

I’ll never forget going to a parent/teacher meeting (yes, I actually attend those regularly)when my daughter was in 2nd grade.

the elementary school cheerleaders were outside “rehearsing” – a specifically choosen word. between the bare midriffs, pelvic thrusts,
camel toe causing shorts, ect it looked like strippers in training.
all that was missing was a DJ and a pole.

and with the beaming approval of the 30somethings watching.

uhoh

August 25th, 2010
7:54 am

I took my 9th grader to orientation last week, never seen so much “cleavage” in my life-kids and moms. If it had been like that when I was in school, I would have never gotten through it.

bootney farnsworth

August 25th, 2010
7:54 am

the reasons for strict enforcement are simple.
there are always gonna be some kids adn parents who push at
the boundaries as hard as possible.

bootney farnsworth

August 25th, 2010
8:01 am

truth is, this is a parental failing. nothing more, nothing less.

despite what they often say, teenagers -especially girls- are looking to us to provide them rules and structure. and yes, boundaries.

we’re their parents, not their friends. its time we start acting the part

bootney farnsworth

August 25th, 2010
8:03 am

@ uhoh,

you should see what I used to see in chruch.

Roswell Yellow Jacket

August 25th, 2010
8:12 am

@ uhoh…you must have been at RHS orientation, because I saw the same thing

RJ

August 25th, 2010
8:19 am

The reality is that some girls can get away with wearing leggings under a skirt because they are less developed, so it doesn’t look as “inappropriate”. However, I worked in a middle school where due to their ethnicity, many girls were more developed in their lower region (hips and butt). Now, the slimmer girls didn’t draw much attention, but those girls that had a developed derriere had to deal with more boys gawking at them and making comments. It’s best to have a blanket rule which states that certain clothing is not appropriate.

Dr NO

August 25th, 2010
8:19 am

This dress code issue/lack of morals can be traced back to a few culprits, those being MTV and RAP music. MTV tells your kids that its ok to do whatever, whenever and with whomever one wants. MTV is one of the worst things that couldve happened to this Country. Then there is RAP music which is full of nothing more than profanity, rudeness, crudeness, vulgarity etc. RAP music basically states to females all over that they are just beeatches, sluts, ho’s, hookers who should be supporting their inner city ghetto trash like the little wanna-be pimps etc.

As Gregg Alman once said…”Rap is short for Crap.”

PS…Parents, its YOUR responsiblity to insure your children behave properly and by not doing so you provide a Great Disservice to them and a possible jail cell for later on in life.

HS Teacher

August 25th, 2010
8:28 am

Short answer – no. Proper clothing is important. A girl already this year comes to school in a mini-skirt so short that you can see her panties, a top cut so low you can easily see her rather large chest, and of course the top has string straps.

Is this any way for her to dress? The school has very good AC so the heat is no excuse. What about the teenage boys with hormones racing? Is this helping them concentrate on learning?

There is nothing wrong with dressing to cover up. Students can still express their individual style.

Hey Teacher

August 25th, 2010
8:35 am

The leggings issue is complicated because we have girls who take them off once they get to school and out of the house leaving just the too-short skirt on for the day. I suspect that is why leggings alone are OK but not with a skirt because if you only have leggings on, they can’t be removed (NOT that your daughter is going to do that but plenty of girls do). We also have girls who wear tank tops with a sweater and take the sweater off the minute they walk in the door of the school.

Maureen Downey

August 25th, 2010
8:41 am

Hey Teacher, And these are middle schoolers? My two sixth graders are still learning where the bathrooms are and how to navigate the lunch lines. (I am not sure why but the lines are so long at their school to buy lunch that they each tell me they only have about seven minutes to eat once they sit down and end up not finishing what they bought.)
I would think your clothing changers might be older kids as our school is strict on sixth graders going right to their homerooms once they get there and there are plenty of hall monitors/teachers directing morning traffic.
Maureen

Intowner

August 25th, 2010
8:42 am

I understand the need for a dress code, but what my daughter slogs along under gets to be silly – no hoodies being top of the list, because of the few boys who pulled their hoodies up and slept thru class, in middle school.
Easier to fix the clothes than the actual behaviour problem.

jg

August 25th, 2010
8:44 am

School uniforms in public schools – Separate boys and girls in middle school. That should solve a lot of problems.

Maureen Downey

August 25th, 2010
8:45 am

@look closer, We basically have eliminated almost all my daughter’s tank tops and sleeveless shirts as the straps have to be three inches, which is not easy to find in kids’ clothing. (And we are still buying in the kids’ department.) My issue is that these same tops were fine nine weeks ago in 5th grade but are now taboo in sixth grade. I still think it sends a strange message to the kids about what we think they have become now that they began middle school — so hormone addled that the sight of a bit of shoulder is a risk.
Maureen

TechMom

August 25th, 2010
8:46 am

I’m all about the uniforms for both boys and girls. There are still going to be infractions (kids grow, skirts ‘become shorter’) but it’s a lot less work for teachers and administrators if they’re not having to constantly check clothing. Plus as a parent it’s easier- no needless mall shopping.

I still find the dress codes in public schools here less stringent than many other school districts. When I was in middle school in South Florida in the early 90s, we weren’t allowed to wear shorts. The school was all indoors and you had to dress out for PE so there was no reason for shorts in the classroom. I suppose some girls would wear skirts on occasion but for the most part, everyone wore pants. We also weren’t allowed spaghetti straps, tank tops, or open-toed shoes. Somehow we all survived.

Philosopher

August 25th, 2010
8:52 am

@jg:”School uniforms in public schools – Separate boys and girls in middle school. That should solve a lot of problems.” No- all it does it postpone the problems. It is our responsibility as adults to teach children how to dress appropriately (girls AND boys)and how to treat each other (boys AND girls) Uniformas and separating sexes are copout on our parts. Yes, it’s a tough job…but it’s our job to do.

Camille

August 25th, 2010
8:57 am

As a parent, if I buy clothes that are appropriate in the first place, then I don’t have to worry about whether or not what they are wearing to school is appropriate. My youngest is in kindergarten, in a charter school, and wears a uniform. So, there’s no issues there about appropriateness. My oldest is in 7th grade, at a public middle school. When we go shopping for clothes, he is allowed to select the type of clothes that he wants, within my parameters. All t-shirts/shirts have to pass my approval with regards to any designs/writing on them (I have no idea what is up with the skull & crossbone patterns on shirts these days). No jeans/shorts that are going to fall off his waist. And, yes, he does have to try them on in the store and let me see them.

With all that said, yes, your attire do convey a message to the public, whether we like it or not. As adults, we have to make sure that we make our kids realize that, even at a young age. I absolutely hate to see even elementary age girls with those short skirts on, because while you may think its cute then, it because less cute later.

You Asked

August 25th, 2010
9:00 am

If the deliberation is how mature or racy a girl should dress the mark is set pretty low. How about professional (or in the kids case appropriate for the classroom – looking like a serious student). We’re not talking burkhas or long dresses here.
I’m talking about a girl having a good self image and not having to worry if her thighs and breasts are showing. And it is important before they are sexually mature because the habits they form now will carry with them. They don’t suddenly stop wanting to push the envelope on skirt length and cleavage because they grow breasts and thighs. In fact they start experimenting to see what limits mom and dad will place on them even more when puberty and sets in.

tell it

August 25th, 2010
9:01 am

@Dr. No,
Your statement was very biased and prejudicial.Please in the future, try reframing from such stereotypes.

LeeH1

August 25th, 2010
9:07 am

If you fill the honey pot with honey, don’t complain if you attract flies.

Or hornets.

November

August 25th, 2010
9:08 am

Folks, face it…….most of these girls are……get ready now……ready………….exhibitionists. They watch these god awful shows that leave nothing to the imagination of the human body because of the way the girls on stage dress and think it would be cute to dress the same way. To all you mommies and daddies out there in the twilight zone, teach your children to dress appropriately. We’re heading back to 1960’s and the loveins if some sensibilities aren’t shown.

Lori

August 25th, 2010
9:08 am

If you are unsure about a particular outfit, then don’t wear it. It’s pretty simple. If you think a shirt is see-through, then why chance it. Just because something is cute and in fashion doesn’t mean you have to buy it for your child. I can’t understand parents who complain about the way their kids dress, when they are the ones funding the clothes. As for schools, they have to have rules to follow. Sure, sometimes they seem ridiculous (like the leggings under the skirt issue), but it is what it is. Why would a girl be allowed to wear leggings as pants anyway? Why would you want your daughter showing skin or wearing tight clothing? Sure, you may think they look cute, but some older boys may think they look something other than cute. Do you really want your 11 year old to begin exploring this new kind of attention from boys (or possibly even older men who are predators)? 11 years olds are children, they should dress like children, not harlots!

chanceman

August 25th, 2010
9:08 am

If you don’t like the rules at your local public school, feel free to homeschool or send them to private school and stop whining.

Philosopher

August 25th, 2010
9:09 am

Maureen- And the clothing industry doesn’t help at all! Just TRY finding a pair of jeans or capris that don’t have a rip or tear in them. But there are much bigger middle school issues that our daughters face. Like not being allowed to go to the bathroom. At my daughter’s school, kids are allowed no bathroom breaks. Locker breaks are ‘way too short to go to the locker AND to the bathroom, especially for a girl. They can have one hall pass a day for bathroom, or locker or other “reasonable” needs- If more than one pass is used, a written warning goes home for the parents to sign. This happened to one of her friends just yesterday. So my daughter refuses to use a bathroom pass…because after all, what if she were to suddenly start her period after she had used her one pass? Some kids really do want to follow rules and getting in trouble is a big deal and very embarrassing to them. Many days I have to take her somewhere to go to the bathroom before I can take her home. It’s unhealthy and dangerous and multiple discussions with authorities got me only a pacifying pile of malarky. I guess I’ll send them the bill when she gets a UTI.

Maureen Downey

August 25th, 2010
9:15 am

Not all that long ago, a glimpse of a woman’s ankle was scandalous, then a glimpse of knee was considered risque. Today, kids on college campuses dress as if they were going to the beach and no heads are swiveling or cars crashing. I think we have to recognize that fashion has evolved. A poster mentioned a ban on open-toe shoes but we live in the age of the sports sandal. I think we have to be careful not to lock ourselves into our own experience. The sight of girls in shorts or short skirts on the UGA campus does not create any bedlam because these kids have grown up with that level of exposed skin. They are culturally acclimated to far briefer fashions that I was. I wore things that my mother never would have considered. My mother wore dresses that would have made her mother shudder.
My only point is that we are essentially telling young kids that they are now sexual beings because they crossed the street and entered middle school and they better cover up. I think we overdo it and contribute to their feeling that they are a breed apart and need containment because if they are let loose, they will run amok.
Maureen

Maureen Downey

August 25th, 2010
9:17 am

@Philosopher, On your point about bathroom restrictions, see my comment above about this sense that these kids have to be contained and controlled above all else.
To all the folks saying that these kids are dressing provocatively in a deliberate way: These kids don’t even know what it means to be provocative. (And probably can’t spell it, either.)
Many of you are proving my point that we are putting adult motives and sexual agendas on very young kids.
There is a new study starting out of Temple on whether adolescence in America is more stressful than other nations because of something unique to this country. I think we will find that our adolescents have more problems because we expect more problems.
Maureen

Talmadge Hobbs

August 25th, 2010
9:33 am

As a guy, I will tell you, Mom, that guys are hugely visual. While I understood this on some level, it was only after reading “Every Man’s Battle” that I understood this to some depth. It was, and still is, my daughter’s primary clothing objective to look sexy, a look that is pushed on them early and persistently by nearly every aspect of media. Guys like this A LOT and not for the right reasons.

No, this isn’t blaming the rape victim. It is rearing a child, male AND female in the dangers of the choices we make.

It’s not about freedom of expression but about what we will reap as a result of those freedoms we exercise. The Law of Unintended Consequences really applies here.

When our children rush to be adults, we are not doing them a service. There’s a reason you don’t get lower insurance rates until you are 25. The mind is still developing well beyond our teen years. Good judgment isn’t something for which middle or high schoolers are famous.

Help her understand restraint and both you and she will look back with gratitude for your guidance.

teacher in waiting

August 25th, 2010
9:36 am

If the schools brought in compulsory school uniforms this would solve much of the time wasted on non-issues that they deal with on a daily basis. By having a blanket policy for uniforms it takes the guess work out of whether the skirt is the right length, the t-shirt is offensive, the rips in the jeans expose too much skin. It can help deal with students being ridiculed for not wearing the coolest or expensive clothing brands. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

God Bless the Teacher!

August 25th, 2010
9:52 am

Maureen, if we accept what the current/popular trend is in society (be it dress code or anything else) we will surely evolve into a nation of anarchy. Where would YOU draw the line on acceptable behaviors? We have dress code rules in school not to repress the fashion whims of adolescents. To be honest, I don’t care to look at students showing too much skin and crack, just like I don’t care to see adults dress similarly in public. Do you dress however you want when you go in to work? What would your boss say if you showed up in pajama bottoms and a shirt that’s three sizes too small? High school girls try to do this, and quite frankly I think they need to go back home and go to bed. There is an appropriate way to dress for various places we go. Teaching students how to make those distinctions is part of what we do in high school. High school is not all about academics (surprise!), but includes life skills that will transfer to wherever a student may go after high school. I’m thankful for middle schools that try to begin that process in 6th grade. It’ll end up being one less issue we have to deal with when the cherubs walk through our front doors in ninth grade (provided the behavior took root).

Teacher through and through

August 25th, 2010
9:56 am

Maureen, you are absolutely right about your child who was raised in your home. And you’re probably right about all her friends too. However, in a public school she will be with students from all backgrounds. Some develop very early (yes, puberty starts at a much earlier age for some) and some come from abusive backgrounds and come to school with very confused ideas about sexuality. A school has to develop rules for everybody. Middle school has the widest range of developing young people, and what is not necessary for your undeveloped sixth grader is vital for the 14-year-old 8th grader. (Yes, there are some.)

Tonya T.

August 25th, 2010
10:00 am

My son started middle school this year, and I was flabbergasted at Open House at the looks of these girls. Looking like miniature hookers! Not all, but enough for me to take notice. So much so in fact, I have decided to either homeschool or private-school the youngest two. Even with dress codes people take it too far.

Dr NO

August 25th, 2010
10:05 am

tell it

August 25th, 2010
9:01 am

Dont like it dont read it and just because one doesnt like it doesnt make it any less true.

Dr NO

August 25th, 2010
10:06 am

PS…get a job.

Teacher, Too

August 25th, 2010
10:10 am

In an age where middle schoolers are coordinating bathroom breaks to have sex, then yes, dress can and is a concern in middle schools. No, 6th graders may not know what the word “provocative” means, but that’s not stopping them from having sex acts at school.

I fully support the strict dress codes, and most emphatically support school uniforms. Students can find ways to express their personalities and creativity through other means besides dress (or they can express themselves through their clothing after school and on weekends). How about expressing personality through writing or art? Certainly through music? Maybe through their schoolwork and earming decent grades.

My point is that if students put as much effort into their school work as they put into their hair, make-up, and clothing, our students would certainly be much better off!

teacher&mom

August 25th, 2010
10:16 am

This is a good example of why 6th graders should still be attending an elementary school and not middle school. The dress code was probably written with 7th and 8th graders in mind and the fact that in a single year a girls’ physical development can changed considerably. While the outfit may look sweet and childish now, it may not look so sweet and childish by next spring/fall.

While it may not occur to your daughter or her friends that dressing a certain way is provocative, I can assure you there are a few 6th grade girls who know exactly what they are doing when they put on the tank top and super short skirts. Chances are they have an older sister or mom who also dresses this way. It is a shame that 11 and 12 year old girls are already trying to dress “sexy” and it seems that more and more each year show up looking like one of the Jersey Shore girls.

Rev. Jimmy Jack Bourbon

August 25th, 2010
10:19 am

The Mrs. Rev. Bourbon sure was cute in that mini skirt that she wore at Girard High School in the Spring of 1973. I was a first-year teacher and coach. I minded my business. Stayed out of trouble. Didn’t cross any line. But, in June of 1975, right after she graduated, that’s when she became the Mrs. Rev. Jimmy Jack Bourbon. She’s the First Lady of the Hosea Williams Memorial Church of World Peace & Reconciliation Beginning In Clayco. I have promoted and she has produced (by God’s grace) eighteen (yes, 18!) children, and she is still as hot as she was in that mini dress in the Spring of 1973! But, she ain’t off-limits no more! I do love me some Mrs. Rev. J. J. Bourbon! Now y’all have a good day on this blog; I’ve got to get back to making my rounds.

SE GA Teacher

August 25th, 2010
10:19 am

Most private schools, especially in the metro area, have uniforms, but I have seen some really short uniform skirts that would not have been allowed in public schools.

You don't Understand

August 25th, 2010
10:19 am

Maureen obviously you have never been to UGA. When I was there and the girls walked down the street in those outfits they had men stopping and whistling, hoping, and yelling. The main problem with your argument is that you compare these girls to college students. These girls aren’t that old and shouldn’t feel as though older eyes are looking at them in a sexual way. Parents and those students don’t often understand that these girls have developed from 5th to 6th grade. They are taller and curvier (if that is a word). These girls aren’t being contained but protected. I have a daughter and to think that an older man would look at her because I didn’t keep enough clothes on her would make me sick at my stomach. Why does evolved have to become slutty? We have evolved in our thinking for good things like civil rights but what you suggest is to allow these girls to evolve into sex objects. Let the mind evolve with understanding and cloth the students to keep from distracting everyone around them. You sound like one of the 8 is too late fools that needs to be checked out.

teacher&mom

August 25th, 2010
10:22 am

Maureen, you can’t blame the school for trying to put a halt to the revealing clothes. Which would you rather have….a principal who enforces the dress code or a very lax dress code? Which choice do you think will create more havoc? Which choice will create a safe learning environment that tries to eliminate as many distractions as possible? Which choice will help insulate as many students as possible for a society that is saturated in sexuality?

Ole Guy

August 25th, 2010
10:32 am

Now,atlast, I understand my Dad’s “strange cheers” while watching me butt heads at those hs games a coupla centuries ago!

Hey Teacher

August 25th, 2010
10:55 am

Maureen — I teach high school btw — we see more issues with the 9th graders than seniors with the legging issue. I actually caught a 9th grade girl changing in the bathroom earlier this week LOL.

For what it is worth, I’m sure that the middle school is trying to keep the 8th graders from wearing inappropriate clothing so they are strict on the not-yet-reached-puberty 6th graders. That leap to middle school is tough but if the middle school is strict. As far as lunch is concerned, I’m not surprised — our kids are lucky if they get 10 minutes by the time they make it through the line. I get 20 minutes by eating at my desk and that leaves me just enough time to run to the bathroom :)

mom2two

August 25th, 2010
11:02 am

At a private school I face the same dress codes. No more tank tops, even the wider ones, unless covered ALL DAY with a jacket or some other top. Even with leggings, skirts do have to be a certain length. It was explained to me that it had to do with the fact that some girls took the skirts so short with leggings that were too thin. What upsets my daughter is when one of the other girls breaks the dress code repeatively and doesnt get in trouble for it. My 11 yo is like yours, not developed yet, and very thin, so its hard to find things that fit around her waist that are long enough.
Some middle schools have uniforms and some have guidelines. One that I know of requires solid polo shirts only.