Why didn’t someone save Phoebe Prince from unrelenting bullying?

The fierce response of a Massachusetts district attorney to the suicide of a teen bullying victim — the prosecutor brought charges today against nine teenagers — reflects the increasing concern over school bullying, concerns that have grown as intimidation and taunting have gone viral over the Internet.

Nine teens face charges in the suicide of alleged bullying victim Phoebe Prince

Nine teens face charges in the suicide of alleged bullying victim Phoebe Prince

Pursued with unusual cruelty by a group of students at her new high school, Phoebe Prince, 15, hanged herself in January. She had enrolled at the school in the fall after moving  to the United States from Ireland, which may contributed to her victimization at South Hadley High School.

According to the AJC story:

Phoebe, ostracized for having a brief relationship with a popular boy, reached her breaking point and hanged herself after one particularly hellish day in January — a day that, according to officials, included being hounded with slurs and pelted with a beverage container as she walked home from school.

Now, nine teenagers face charges in what a prosecutor called “unrelenting” bullying, including two teen boys charged with statutory rape and a clique of girls charged with stalking, criminal harassment and violating Phoebe’s civil rights.

Northwestern District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel, who announced the charges Monday, said the events before Phoebe’s death on Jan. 14 were “the culmination of a nearly three-month campaign of verbally assaultive behavior and threats of physical harm” widely known among the student body.

School officials won’t be charged, even though authorities say they knew about the bullying and that Phoebe’s mother brought her concerns to at least two of them.

For those of you who work in schools, why would administrators and teachers let this persecution go unchecked?

Research shows that bullying occurs in all schools, private and public, and that it is often unseen by adults. In an earlier blog on bullying, I cited a 2005 U.S. Department of Education report that found 14 percent of students ages 12 through 18 said they had been bullied in the past six months.

In the early grades, bullies direct their attacks at almost anyone. As they get older, they target certain kids. Bullies go after younger and smaller kids, but victims also are chosen because they are more anxious, sensitive, cautious and quiet.

Bullying is often a spectator sport, with 85 percent of  incidents involving other kids who watch the torment without stopping it. On the day of her suicide, Phoebe was abused her in the school library, the lunchroom and the hallways, according to the charges. Classmates threw a canned drink at her as she walked home, where her sister found her hanging from a stairwell at 4:30 p.m.

While Phoebe’s bullies used texting and social networking sites to harass her, the prosecutor said most of the bullying occurred on school grounds during school hours.

In the next few days, we will likely see the families of the nine teens charged defend their children, who are already being depicted as monsters.

What is happening that such cruelty could be tolerated? Why didn’t other students speak out? Why didn’t the adults step in?

243 comments Add your comment

Mike

March 30th, 2010
12:01 am

Was she? Come on….

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Maureen Downey. Maureen Downey said: Was Irish teen driven to suicide by unchecked bullying in her new American school? http://bit.ly/9iTows [...]

Ole Guy

March 30th, 2010
12:42 am

Yet another reason to bring the paddle back into the classroom. Most kids, afforded the right guidance, influence, and leadership, are capable of making the right behavioral choices. Those who insist on being hard asses should have theirs’ warmed up.

Once upon a time, kids handled their own problems…good, bad, right, or wrong…with a sporting event known as the school yard fight. That had to have been a generation of honor and code, for no one, in these “sporting events”, dared possess an advantage, in terms of weaponry, or “unsporting behavior”, such as sand/rock/trash can throwing. These were toe-to-toe encounters, generally observed by bunches of kids. Deviations from behavioral norms were sure to garner peer disapproval, something which no kid was going to invite. Combatants would square off and mix it up…until a teacher put a stop to the melee…paddlings generally followed, after which it was back to normal. No guns, knives, lasting dirty looks, etc…and in most cases, mine at least, combatants, over time, became buds (many of my Army buds were one-time hs adversaries).

Were there bullies…of course…and they were generally handled “internally” within the student body. As terrible as bullying is, I just don’t recall those being bullied as reaching such a level of dispair as to take their lives. There was always someone who would approach the bully and take command of the situation. Somehow, I just don’t see any level of honor or self-discipline in these kids today. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because they were never allowed to behave like kids on the playground. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because teachers aren’t allowed to maintain control. just a thought.

Rest In Peace, Phoebe.

Roadtoad

March 30th, 2010
12:45 am

I am a 50 year old man, still dealing with this very issue in web forae and in the workplace. At one point, I was forced out of my most recent job because of the bullying by a supervisor, as I was by another in 2008. This is not an isolated issue, and the consequences are damnable.

Anyone who thinks this doesn’t happen needs to spend some time talking to their kids and their employees. I am presently losing my house because I had an employer who kept threatening to “kick my ass.” How do you deal with that and still keep your head on straight? Especially when if you retaliate, you become subject to criminal charges? And where is the law in this? Most of the time, the courts are MIA, and asking you to act like an adult.

Never mind that your boss is acting like a thug. You’re the one with the problem.

Someone needs to make sure these kids spend some serious time behind bars. Maybe after two or three years, we’ll see just how funny this whole thing is.

Anna Stewart

March 30th, 2010
12:46 am

About time prosecutors get hard on these children and teens – they all deserve to pay the consequences of their actions. Parents should also always discourage their children from bullying and that also goes for witnesses, teachers and school personnel. If they do nothing, they are careless and thoughtless individuals and should also be made to step up to their social responsibilities. I would suspend any personnel and/or students who witnessed it, knew of it and did absolutely nothing.

Glenn

March 30th, 2010
12:46 am

As I’ve said before, we need more male teachers in schools. The female teachers just can not stand up to the mean gang like kids, therefore, they say nothing. The bullies not only should be punished, but charged with a misdemeaner. It has to stop somewhere.

Anna Stewart

March 30th, 2010
12:50 am

As a female teacher, if I couldn’t deal with make bullies, I’d not only report it to the school management which can/should be able to do more about it, I’d also report it to the police.. people have to get up and find ways to intervene.

Harry

March 30th, 2010
1:13 am

I drove a bus for several years for different schools and different ages. I would never allow any sort of bullying on or anywhere near my bus. My kids always knew they had a safe place. The rule was, treat others the way you want to be treated, and I made sure they knew it, and lived it. Any teacher that knew about it and ignored it, should be incredibly ashamed of themselves.

Truthpaste

March 30th, 2010
1:56 am

Reports said, with the exception of the accused nine, she was a well-liked student and classmate. My question is, why did her “friend” stand by and let it go on. I’m not requesting that they got involved in physical manner, but maybe if the principal had more than one or two complaints about the abuse, it could have been curtailed before it came to this.

Quinn

March 30th, 2010
2:09 am

I just read about on the CNN newspage. It said that this bullying before the suicide was done in the presence of several faculty and students who did not report until after the fact of her death. This is abhorring to me. There are so many crimes that happen in an informal space (bullying, domestic abuse, sexual assault) that never get the punitive attention it deserves. The previous comments suggest going to the police. I may be generalizing but I can imagine those officers shrugging off the complaints and putting it on the very bottom of their caseload. Bullying is considered to be an unfortunate part of schooling. This incident shows that now only is unchecked bullying unfortunate, it can be fatal.

Claire

March 30th, 2010
2:19 am

our society doesn’t teach our kids to be empowered. Back in the 80’s there used to be programs in the schools teaching kids how to say NO to unwanted sexual touch. Part of the discussions and training was to enable children to be able to plan strategies for getting help when needed. Not too unlike training children on how and when to use 911. Unfortunately many of these programs have been suspended in the schools by groups who didn’t like the idea of children being educated to say no.

It’s problematic because many parents due to work, or lack of awareness aren’t training their children how to stand up to bullies, how to stand up for friends, how to get adults to take these matters seriously.

I suspect that what it will take will be a series of tragic cases where the school board and townships have the beejeezus sued out of them and fear of fiscal tragedies will cause them to take these matters seriously.

Melanie

March 30th, 2010
2:22 am

I’m a teen myself.I mean yes the schools do get a little out of hand every now and then.I’ve personally never been apart of any bullying or anything.People now a days can be so cruel though i seen it happening.Shes not the first and not the last teen to be a victim of bullying.Theres nothing you really can do to stop it .You have to learn to ignore..

sickofit

March 30th, 2010
2:25 am

bullies dont just become bullies it starts when they are young and get away with telling the other kids how to play, who to play with etc. They are very insecure cowardly people and only bully with a audience and only those they know will not challange them back. I want to know when parents will be held accountable, this is sad that once again the adults in the school ignored a parents plea for help and are not being held accountable. If the children are being chged then so should the school officials. They knew and failed to take measures to protect the child. I know my opinions are strong regarding this issue, I homeshcooled my child who is now in college because her school ignored my pleas for help as well. I felt leaving my child with adults who ignored her safty was neglect on my part so I brought her home, I dont regret my decision. My prayers to the family of the young lady, and to the guilty parties whoever they may be I want to know when they get to prison how it feels to be bullied.

Mike

March 30th, 2010
2:47 am

You people have got to be kidding me! There is no way these kids should go behind bars. That’s what kids do they bully. Kid’s have been doing it since the dawn of time. Whatever happened to teaching your kids to have some self esteem and self respect? Whatever happened to sticks and stones can break my bones but words could never hurt me? What ever happened to standing up for yourself? Now I’m not saying these kids should go unpunished, but jail is a bit harsh. It’s a sad thing that happened to this young lady but ultimately the blame falls on her and the school. I’m appalled that everyone is saying these kids are dirt and the school is blame free. That’s what’s wrong with America today, all this kinder gentler crap. My boy knows if anyone touches him or throws something at him, he better knock them out…not come home and hang himself.

And for the gentleman that is complaining about his boss bullying him, the courts didnt fail you sir because you never went to court. You failed yourself. You should have told him to try it, and if he touched you, you could do what real men do and protect yourself, or take it to the courts. Now your losing your house, survival of the fittest sir…and you’re weak.

free market educator

March 30th, 2010
2:48 am

Bullies exist because parents and school authorities allow it. This is almost NONEXISTENT among home schoolers. Why? Socialization takes place amongst families. The children learn to interact with adults as well as older and younger siblings (including the handicapped). Any aggressive behavior is not tolerated. Most families do not allow their children to use “chats”, cell phones, or Facebook, until they have proven their maturity to handle such. The older siblings are given responsibility and often help care for the younger ones. The old-fashioned way still works.

kat

March 30th, 2010
2:56 am

I feel so bad for that poor child and her family. I work for a non profit that does child sexual abuse prevention work in our community. There is another group in town called KIDPOWER, that does amazing work teaching children and adults safety skills, from using their words, getting help, how to deal with bullies, right on up to major self defense. Their website KIDPOWER.ORG is a great site. If you go to their website, they have a library of articles, and a TON of articles on bullying. There is the link for the bullying articles. All children have the right to be safe at school and at home. I dont understand why the school officials didnt put an abrupt stop to this. Maybe what it is goign to take is very serious consequences like jail sentences for these kinds of tormenting behaviors to stop.

http://www.kidpower.org/resources/articles/index.html#bullying

Josey

March 30th, 2010
3:10 am

This is ludicrous. Another worthless district attorney looking to make a name for himself.

Sad truth is kids commit suicide, especially high school kids who on average are 10 times more likely to commit suicide than the other ages. Internal factors such as hormonal changes, depression, self-esteem, family issues such as moving – all these things can be contributing factors.

It’s a travesty for some rogue prosecutor to ruin the lives of nine high school kids solely to make a name for himself as “the guy that stood up for picked on teens.” Frankly, the judge should throw the case out and admonish the DA to stick to prosecutions he knows about, maybe DUIs or B&Es.

Anthony

March 30th, 2010
3:18 am

You rednecks that think she got what she deserved because she didnt fight back are monsters. But im willing to bet all I have youre regular church going folk! I would torture and humiliate the bestards in public. Oh, and heres the kicker Im a Former US Marine, Recon Commando, a liberal democrat and from NYC. Go ahead and have your convulsions now. But im one of those liberals that fights and can shoot back so be careful.

angel

March 30th, 2010
3:23 am

So what Mike is saying is that if you’re weak, that gives someone else the right to be cruel to you??? Yes there will always be mean people but there will also always be weak people and there will always be those of us who believe in standing up for the weak. These are CHILDREN and it’s our job as adults to guide them. If the parents won’t do it, and the teachers won’t do it, then someone has to. These bullies need to learn that being cruel has its consequences. I have news for you: if you’re a jerk in high school, you’ll probably always be a jerk and the only thing that might possibly change that is a few lessons in humility.

Aamina Nawaz

March 30th, 2010
3:25 am

I disagree, there can be plenty done to reduce extreme bullying- even the slightest initiation of some kind of program that promotes awareness on this issue can help. It is very rare that school faculty and staff members are aware of students who are being harassed at their schools ( kids just don’t speak up ); but in this case they [faculty] were aware, even the parents, and the fact that this concern was ignored worries me. NOT EVERYONE CAN DEAL WITH HARASSMENT, teenagers are not made of steel armor–everyone of them is different, everyone of their emotions are dissimilar with one another, what hurts one may not hurt another, so can we really say “oh, just deal with it”. No, that it absurd- and ignorant to state. People are people, even adults are sensitive– some people can’t handle being rumored or joked upon (and one should not have to experience the severe torments—especially if you are a child- knowing that children have identity crises, fragile self-esteem, and undeveloped cognition)- some are tough overlook rumors or harassment, others find it complex. And, that is reasonable- no one should be tortured mentally or physically, no one should have to put up with people shattering their self-esteem, and certainly not left alone to deal with it- they deserved to be heard and aided.
Parents send their children to school being assured their child will be looked after and protected; in return the child expects that same comfort. But, what happens when someone starts abusing it? They should make the help line more available to students- where a student can go and complain about their issues, where faculty is aware that someone in their institution is being damaged- and actually give a shit. Schools can promote their help hotlines, encourage students to visit their counselors and school psychologists, identify with their teachers as helpers rather than authoritarians, educate parents to pick up on signs of distress , teachers to follow up with academic performances- show u care– give a shit- communication is the key. Student to Teacher; Child to Parent.

In my opinion, this event could have been avoided in several ways:
Obviously, she felt isolated- she didn’t have anyone to go to, anyone to talk to- to get another insight or perspective, or receive words of care and comfort—that’s why she committed suicide.
Teachers could have held a conference with the prime aggressors (the 9 students), psychologists could have been incorporated, programs on harassment and rumor starting could have been placed (educating children on not being assholes, not hurting someone, not making them cry, the golden rule theory). Parents could have taken a much more aggressive approach (move, when worst came to worst) , fought with faculty and staff members until something was done, call the parents of the children, stood by their child and comfort them.
SO, many things to prevent this death.
Yes, children are children; teenagers are teenagers- they do stupid shit (we all have). Some make it in life without having anyone harass them, but does that mean we should see it as punitive because you didn’t experience its extremes? Or, maybe u have been harassed but didn’t care much–does that mean that others would deal with it the same way? NO- we are humans; we are fragile- we can be damaged so severely that we lose our sense of reasoning, and begin to think we are insignificant. The fact behind suicide is–these people actually want to LIVE- but they CAN’T; they feel alone, like they are the only ones who deal with issues as such—no one is there to tell them that rumors happen, no one was there to help build their self-esteem, no one was even there when other people laid their filthy hands on them (physical abuse). If the verbal aggression didn’t seem as severe, then what about when the physical abuse kicked in—why were they [adults] so blind to see this student in distress?
Damaging the human soul in any kind of way or form is unjust.

Septic

March 30th, 2010
3:46 am

First, this story is tragic. I empathize for the family. If only people realized that it doesn’t cost any extra to be nice.

To Mike, 3 posts earlier…

If someone causes a death, they’re responsible. If you’re driving and you blow thru a stop sign and accidentally kill someone, guess what. Guilty! The fact that you didn’t mean to do it might be considered, but how do we keep people responsible for their actions? I would bet that everyone in America has been the victim of bullies in one form or another, and you’re right that it’s part of growing up. But, like everything else, some dumba$$ will take it to an extreme and that is where the law needs to step in. Giving these kids community service or probation is not going to make the next ‘extreme bully’ think twice, a jail sentence might.

And as for your comment to the guy losing his house…
You mentioned survival of the fittest and that he is weak? Please remember that almost all bullying behavior is rooted in insecurity. Bullies quickly back down when challenged by a real dominant figure..and that (in my humble opinion) is the ultimate declaration of weakness.

And good luck de-conditioning you son away from violence as he gets older. Oh, and you may want to start saving now for the lawsuit.

bptr

March 30th, 2010
3:54 am

“Pursued with unusual cruelty by a group of students at her new high school, Phoebe Prince, 15, hung herself in January.”

So it’s true that The South is illiterate!

She “HANGED” herself !!!! DUH !!!!

Rashi

March 30th, 2010
4:05 am

You people who think the nine bullies should NOT be locked up are blaming the victim, and it’s absolutely insane thinking! Those comments are most likely from the patents of the nine monsters who drove this poor girl to death! Bullying is a very serious crime that causes permanent harm that never goes away!!! It should most definitely be considered a serious crime and kids should have all the education and resources to recognize abuse and how and where to report it immediately! The adults to whom our children are entrusted during school hours must never allow this abuse to happen, and they as well as the abusers should pay a hefty price each and every time abuse to a child is allowed to occur! Self esteem has ZERO to do with how abuse affects a victim, and those who made comments otherwise, are indeed child abusers…and most definitely the weakest links in society. To the guy dealing with bullying at work…you are a victim of abuse and that does not make you weak. You have every right to speak to an attorney and sue for damages. But, like you said, it’s nearly impossible to do anything about it. The demon who called you weak was certainly your previous abusive boss.

Mike

March 30th, 2010
4:05 am

Septic, there is a tremendous difference between blowing through a stop sign causing someone else to lose control of their vehicle, crash, and die, and teasing someone and that someone having CONTROL of the situation going to kill themselve. That was a terrible analogy. Those kids didnt cause her death, her low self esteem caused her death. Those kids didnt wrap the rope around her neck, she did.

You are most certainly right that most bullies will back down when challenged by a dominate figure, however the gentleman above backed down from a “weak” bully, instead of asserting his dominance. So if we work this equation out…the gentleman above is weak and he’s losing his house because of his weakness.

My son is very well mannered and he’s not a bully. He has been taught though that nobody is ever going to put hands on him without repercussions. He’s never started a fight and he never will. So I laugh in the face of your lawsuit, weakling, we’ll counter sue if need be.

nehme

March 30th, 2010
4:08 am

RIP Phoebe Prince, its not just the school who failed you,its idiots like the one above who think its okay for kids to do that. Unfortunately for you Phoebe you want be here to see that someone cares about that. I feel those kids should be jailed and some of the school officials as well. I have 5 kids who have been harassed because the were good kids and brought complaint to the school and nothing was done about it. I was lucky enough to move my kids to good schools. the bottom line is that some people in the USA never grow up and don’t now how to teach their kids to do that either .

Mike

March 30th, 2010
4:18 am

Septic, there is a tremendous difference in blowing through a stop light, causing some else to lose control and wreck, and bullying somone and that peron going to kill themselves. That was a terrible analogy. Those kids didnt wrap the rope around this poor girls neck. I think it would be safe to say that she was not the only child at this school being bullied. Jail for these kids will not stop other kids from bullying because its a natural thing. It’s part of socialization. It’s like trying to stop highschool kids from having a sex drive.

As far as the weakling guy up there, you are absolutely correct that bullies will back down when confronted by a dominant figure. This guy however, backed down from a “weak” bully, and he’s losing his house over it. Now you seem like a smart individual, so let’s work this equation. Weak guy no.1 bullies weak guy no.2. Weak guy no.2 backs down = weak guy no.2 is weaker than weak guy no.1

My son is very well mannered. He’s never started a fight in his life and he never will. He has been taught though that no one will ever lay hands on him with out repercussions. To be quite honest with you, I would rather have to pay for a lawyer than for a funeral. But I laugh in the face of your law suit regardless weakling, being that my son will never start a fight, we’ll counter sue.

Aamina Nawaz

March 30th, 2010
4:26 am

I disagree, there can be plenty done to reduce extreme bullying- even the slightest initiation of some kind of program that promotes awareness on this issue can help. It is very rare that school faculty and staff members are aware of students who are being harassed at their schools ( kids just don’t speak up ); but in this case they [faculty] were aware, even the parents, and the fact that this concern was ignored worries me. NOT EVERYONE CAN DEAL WITH HARASSMENT, teenagers are not made of steel armor–everyone of them is different, everyone of their emotions are dissimilar with one another, what hurts one may not hurt another, so can we really say “oh, just deal with it”. No, that it absurd- and ignorant to state. People are people, even adults are sensitive– some people can’t handle being rumored or joked upon (and one should not have to experience the severe torments—especially if you are a child- knowing that children have identity crises, fragile self-esteem, and undeveloped cognition)- some are tough overlook rumors or harassment, others find it complex. And, that is reasonable- no one should be tortured mentally or physically, no one should have to put up with people shattering their self-esteem, and certainly not left alone to deal with it- they deserved to be heard and aided.
Parents send their children to school being assured their child will be looked after and protected; in return the child expects that same comfort. But, what happens when someone starts abusing it? They should make the help line more available to students- where a student can go and complain about their issues, where faculty is aware that someone in their institution is being damaged- and actually give a s—. Schools can promote their help hotlines, encourage students to visit their counselors and school psychologists, identify with their teachers as helpers rather than authoritarians, educate parents to pick up on signs of distress , teachers to follow up with academic performances- show u care– give a s—- communication is the key. Student to Teacher; Child to Parent.

In my opinion, this event could have been avoided in several ways:
Obviously, she felt isolated- she didn’t have anyone to go to, anyone to talk to- to get another insight or perspective, or receive words of care and comfort—that’s why she committed suicide.
Teachers could have held a conference with the prime aggressors (the 9 students), psychologists could have been incorporated, programs on harassment and rumor starting could have been placed (educating children on not being a–holes, not hurting someone, not making them cry, the golden rule theory). Parents could have taken a much more aggressive approach (move, when worst came to worst) , fought with faculty and staff members until something was done, call the parents of the children, stood by their child and comfort them.
SO, many things to prevent this death.
Yes, children are children; teenagers are teenagers- they do stupid s— (we all have). Some make it in life without having anyone harass them, but does that mean we should see it as punitive because you didn’t experience its extremes? Or, maybe u have been harassed but didn’t care much–does that mean that others would deal with it the same way? NO- we are humans; we are fragile- we can be damaged so severely that we lose our sense of reasoning, and begin to think we are insignificant. The fact behind suicide is–these people actually want to LIVE- but they CAN’T; they feel alone, like they are the only ones who deal with issues as such—no one is there to tell them that rumors happen, no one was there to help build their self-esteem, no one was even there when other people laid their filthy hands on them (physical abuse). If the verbal aggression didn’t seem as severe, then what about when the physical abuse kicked in—why were they [adults] so blind to see this student in distress?
Damaging the human soul in any kind of way or form is unjust.

Whiskey Charlie

March 30th, 2010
4:33 am

It may be unjust, but it doesn’t warrant jail time for the 9 kids. That would be cruel and unusual punishment.

CP

March 30th, 2010
4:34 am

Sad that moral outrage over the causes of a young girls’ suicide has to be defended. Unfortunately it shows how out of balance our country has become, for whatever reason. Maybe there was a time these bullying situations could be settled with a physical altercation but those days have passed and we’re here talking in a virtual medium. Mob mentality is part of human nature and some don’t have the insight or tools to overcome it (bully and bullied), especially when it’s magnified and spread over wide areas by technology and media. Maybe cases like this (and many others) show that the problem has grown bigger than an individuals ability to handle it.

From what little I know, I’d guess Phoebe was a relatively normal girl in a new country, a new school with a whole range of hopes and fears; more vulnerable than most because of that (and any other factors unique to her situation – financial?). I’d hope we can return some balance, maybe some empathy, to our national situation without compromising our ability to be honest, tough and staightforward.

FWIW Put the most responsible kids in jail for a couple of weeks (no criminal record) and let them experience the other side of bullying.

Jared

March 30th, 2010
4:37 am

Septic, there is a tremendous difference in blowing through a stop light, causing some else to lose control and wreck, and bullying somone and that person going to kill themselves. That was a terrible analogy. Those kids didnt wrap the rope around this poor girls neck. I think it would be safe to say that she was not the only child at this school being bullied. Jail for these kids will not stop other kids from bullying because its a natural thing. It’s part of socialization. It’s like trying to stop highschool kids from having a sex drive.

As far as the weakling guy up there, you are absolutely correct that bullies will back down when confronted by a dominant figure. This guy however, backed down from a “weak” bully, and he’s losing his house over it. Now you seem like a smart individual, so let’s work this equation. Weak guy no.1 bullies weak guy no.2. Weak guy no.2 backs down = weak guy no.2 is weaker than weak guy no.1

I would bet Mike’s son is very well mannered. He’s probably never started a fight in his life and he never will. He has been taught though that no one will ever lay hands on him with out repercussions. To be quite honest with you, I would rather have to pay for a lawyer than for a funeral. I’m sure this girls parents feel the same way.

James

March 30th, 2010
4:40 am

Septic, there is a tremendous difference in blowing through a stop light, causing some else to lose control and wreck, and bullying somone and that person going to kill themselves. That was a terrible analogy. Those kids didnt wrap the rope around this poor girls neck. I think it would be safe to say that she was not the only child at this school being bullied. Jail for these kids will not stop other kids from bullying because its a natural thing. It’s part of socialization. It’s like trying to stop highschool kids from experimenting with sex and drugs.

As far as the weakling guy up there, you are absolutely correct that bullies will back down when confronted by a dominant figure. This guy however, backed down from a “weak” bully, and he’s losing his house over it. Now you seem like a smart individual, so let’s work this equation. Weak guy no.1 bullies weak guy no.2. Weak guy no.2 backs down = weak guy no.2 is weaker than weak guy no.1…does that work out correctly?

I would bet Mike’s son is very well mannered. He’s probably never started a fight in his life and he never will. He has been taught though that no one will ever lay hands on him with out repercussions. To be quite honest with you, I would rather have to pay for a lawyer than for a funeral. I’m sure this girls parents feel the same way.

Aamina

March 30th, 2010
4:46 am

Mike- u are an idiot. “it what kids do”— bully around- abuse a 15 year old teenager younger; they stalk her, harass her, physically abuse her, torment her mentally–and u think its ok?– They should be charged, severity of the charges are debatable– obviously the charges are set— jail time and psychological help should be enforced—one way or another they need to institutionalized (whether that be jail.. or rehab center– considering the fact they are teenagers, they are idiots, they did stupid sh-t, they have undeveloped brains causing them to go about their abusive manners—but does that mean they should be ignored? Hell, no. If u ignore the conditions of this case today- “as children being children” then tomorrow there will be another suicid–someone elses son or daughter— how many deaths does it take to realize this is significant and serious?—this is not the first—).

These teenagers tortured a girl- caused her death.
You Need to start educating yourself on the notion of “verbal” agression in the end result of a death.

THink about it, your being a parent, your busy at work, trying to make it through with ur family in this tough economy, you can’t pay attention to your childs every need, you trust the school as an institution that could help aid you and mold your child into a sucessful, strong, caring individual–[but instead they ignore the signs of a distressed teenager]. and now ur child is being bullied in school, stalked, harassed, abused, and then kills herself—> and you say “well– gee…children bully- big deal”—->?

I agree, yes they are children, they make mistakes, they should be given a second chance at being able to better themselves, but their actions were so extreme– they should be held accountable for something– no?

also the school should have been investigated and charged or liable in some manner– the are the authority figures, somebody should have stepped in.

spetic- i agree with you. Abuse ending in death= guilty. Charges? should not be as harsh as an adult would get— bit chargers are a must.

Aamina

March 30th, 2010
4:49 am

It is not cruel and unusual, but the severity of the charges—> could have been negotiated to an extent where these teenagers are not condemmed for life as being bad individuals—but what they did was sick, it was ill, performed in ill intent and motive— u touch someone= ur guilty.

nh

March 30th, 2010
4:53 am

Mike- I suggest that you go find a history book and learn about the Holocaust. Social Darwinism did not work for Nazi Germany, and there is no reason to expect that it will work in America. Besides, how does fighting a bully actually demonstrate any strength? Mostly, not wanting to be confrontational is just a byproduct of being intelligent and civilized. People who are aggressive are generally pretty ignorant.

John N

March 30th, 2010
4:54 am

To those saying the 9 shouldn’t be prosecuted: Are you just ignoring the statutory rape charges?

Regarding just standing up to bullying: Yes, that is a good idea and it often works. In my own case, my father recommended giving the bully a bloody nose. I didn’t manage that, but a swift broomstick across the shins was just as effective. He never bothered me again. [We were hiking and the broomstick was my hiking staff. It was in my hands when the bully began one last time] I wouldn’t tell a kid to use a broomstick today. Someone would probably charge the kid with assault.

Thousands of kids are bullied each day. Very few hang themselves. If this child did not leave a note, then bullying as the cause is only an assumption. Life is complicated at that age and there could have been other reasons. Even so, u believe the 9 deserve some punishment.

Hanged/hung. Hanged is preferred, not solely correct. The south is not illiterate, but some people on intolerant of regional differences, except their own of course.

nh

March 30th, 2010
4:59 am

BTW, these kids laughed and joked about the suicide at a party 2 days after it happened. If I were on the jury, I would have no sympathy for them.

Aamina

March 30th, 2010
5:01 am

Hank

March 30th, 2010
5:33 am

Very few things make my blood boil. This does. So what if the bullies were identified and so what if they’re given the guilty verdict in court? They’ll just get a slap on the wrist.

You know what justice is? Let the bullies have their day in court. When they’re proven guilty, each of them should get 50 lashes each in the public square and 2 years in a forced labor camp. Both parents and children should have “Murderer. Rapist. Bully.” burn-branded into their foreheads. On lashing day, their parents should be in the front row, gagged and bound with their eyes pried open and their heads fixed in place so they can’t help but watch and listen. The rest of the high school population should be present as well. The message? If you’re a bully and you’re caught, the state will give you something to cry about.

Of course, that won’t happen. After all, terrorists, rapists, murderers, and all the other monsters out there have all the rights and the victims have none of them.

Morgan

March 30th, 2010
5:36 am

@Mike: So it’s the victim’s fault that these kids hounded her? Get real; I’ve seen monsters like these brats go after mentally and physically disabled kids, poor kids, rich kids, outcasts, each other. It’s not the responsibility of the victim to prevent illegal behavior.

I’d just LOVE to see how funny they think that crap still is when they see how hardened criminals look at them.

JJ

March 30th, 2010
5:40 am

Septic makes some very sensible comments, especially those he directed at Mike, who I believe was NEVER picked on, or bullyed in his school years.

When you are picked on or bullyed, it does play with your confidence, and your self esteem. In some cases it takes years to overcome those damaging and hurtful feelings.
I know, because I was a victim of bullying.

As an adult, I know now that many of those who chose to bully me (and some of my other class mates), mostly did so out of insecurity and to make themselves feel more superior.

Some of the bullying I received, could have been stopped with a punch, but that would have landed me in hot water with the school administration. So, I usually just did my best to stay away from those who picked on me, and tried to keep them from messing with me, as best I could. That chain of survival allowed me to finish my education and eventually move on to college. Maybe I was lucky, but it took years for me to garner the inner-confidence I have now.

In the case of Phoebe, who knows what she had to deal with. The fact that she was in a new country may have had her scared. The fact that she was tormented by a network of nine to 12 kids, may have given her the feeling of being completely outside the inner circle of acceptance and her only way to deal with it, eventually, was to hang herself.

This story makes me sick. A beautiful young girl snuffs her own life out, because she can NOT deal with the horrible torment that a few kids were doing to her. However, the idea of being accepted and being allowed to go to school with-out fear from our fellow classmates, is a luxury that many who have not been bullied in life, take for granted on a daily basis.

Something tells me that this goes way beyond a can of soda being thrown, or name calling etc… but everyone, has a breaking point. Some kids break, (as we have learned over the past several years), by bringing a fire arm to school and killing their classmates. Others act out in less violent ways, but they do act out. Others do what Ms Prince did.. they kill themselves.

I have ZERO compassion for the kids who tormented this girl, to the point where she killed herself. Why did they do it?.. What did Phoebe do to them to make them hate her so much?… Did they ever once consider how they would have acted had they been in a new country, unfamiliar with the customs and culture, only to be ridiculed and abused for being different?… really big of them to do this to a girl who they could have learned from. Instead, they drove her to suicide. Make no mistake about it, this girl would still be alive if some of these brats would have taken the time to get to know her and be respectful of her culture and accent, instead of pushing her around so mean and hurtful.

I also believe, from watching talk shows that dealt with kids who bullied from years ago and now were confronted by their victims 5-20 years later, that most bullies have ZERO remorse or even an inclination of the harm their horrible actions do (and even did) to their victims.

Therefore, I don’t know how far this prosecutor can go, but I think that some form of punishment should be handed down to make these kids realize that their harmful actions can lead to more than any of them thought. Phoebe’s life was worth something… and yes.. these kids did not kill her, but their acts were contributing factors to her suicide.

Something else to consider, perhaps next time, they will bully the WRONG kid, and that kid will do what Mike suggests, only this time the victim of the bullying will take things MUCH further than any of us would ever want to see a kid take things, and there could be another incident of gun violence at a school, sparked by so-called “routine, or harmless, bullying”.

The bullying today is probably no worse than it was back in the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s etc… only now, the internet and other devices (cell phones/ emails/ texting etc..) make it easier for kids to broadcast their hurtful remarks to a much wider audience and through the cowardly position of anonymity.

My prayers go to the girl’s family who came here looking for the American dream, only to lose their daughter to a reality that is growing worse every year in American society, … Teen suicide. (and to make it more tragic, her suicide was as a result of the bullying she suffered from her fellow classmates).

I know that bullies have always existed, and maybe our grandparents had a much more sensible way of dealing with the bullying, (good old fashioned butt whipping), but today, we are training our kids to utilize “conflict resolution” as ways of dealing with their bullies.

A girl is dead, and yes, it was by her own hand. But the actions of those who tormented and abused her, are as guilty as if they put her head in the noose and hanged her themselves., and those who treated her in that manner, and made her feel so worthless and beaten down, that her only resolve was to kill herself.

Well, I’m not sorry for them and they need to be held accountable, unless schools are willing to allow for corporal punishment along with kids being able to fight back in physical ways, to stop the bullying. Because, quite frankly, the “conflict resolution” route, is NOT working.

As for Mike…. some day, you will understand what its like to be bullied, and just remember your own advice pal. Whether its you or a significant other in your family, someday you will see that its not that simple and easy to confront bullies, beause our schools really don’t allow you to take such matters into your own hands, and are increasingly ignoring such problems, rather than to stand up and stop them.

I just wish that someone, anyone, a student, a parent, a kid, a school administrator, a teacher, could have put their arm around Phoebe and told her she was somebody, she mattered, she is a good girl, she has something to contribute and was important to the overall well being of the school, what that might have done. Sadly, now, its too late for that.

Like someone posted ealier, please remember how our words can and do affect others, and if we have power to stop horrible acts of unkind treatment, we need to do it.

God bless Phoebe Prince, her death was unecessary and she is hopefully at peace and hopefully her parents and loved ones and friends, will some day be able to find some solace to this horrible and maddening tragedy.

hardworkingal

March 30th, 2010
6:12 am

To roadtoad: ‘bullied’ out of two jobs by supervisors? In my office we call it termination for cause, or getting FIRED!!!!!!!! How dare you, comparing what this child went through to your shortcomings, and using it as a personal soapbox in a pathetic attempt to mask your obvious inability to perform your job. Might I suggest that YOU grow a pair?

Sarah H

March 30th, 2010
7:02 am

I resent this statement; For those of you who work in schools, why would administrators and teachers let this persecution go unchecked? We can’t deal with bullying unless we witness it ourselves. Many of these teens are so sneaky. They make sure that there are no adults around before they bully anyone. Around here, if we accuse anyone of bullying without actually seeing it, we can be disciplined.

Don

March 30th, 2010
7:07 am

To all the people that think Phoebe Prince was the one at fault here I bet you were/are a bully yourself and most likely your kids are also. I have a news flash for you, not only should they have to stand before a court for their actions they should have to do it as an adult and receive the maximum amount of time in a State prison. Then we can see just how tuff they really are.
Then any teacher that knew of this and did nothing about it should have their teaching certificates revoked and should never be allowed back in a classroom again. As for the administrators they should also lose any and all teaching certificates they hold and face prosecution too. After all, they were made aware of the bullying and did nothing about it. This makes them just as guilty as the 9 thugs that carried out the bullying.
Until administrators and teachers are prosecuted and made to do their job (keeping our kids safe) this will continue to happen. Put a few principals and teachers behind bars and I bet this behavior comes to a stop! Maybe if the principal and teachers at Columbine had stopped the bullying that was going on, two boys would have not felt the need to do what they did. After all, according to the way some of you think they just stood up for themselves when the school and police failed them. Think about that for a minute then ask your kids if they are being bullied or are bullying others, get on their my space and facebook or any other networking sites and see what is going on. You just might keep this from happening to you and you’re family.

ANON

March 30th, 2010
7:25 am

Survival of the fittest, all she had to do was wait till she was out of high school instead of hanging herself which is completely irrational. After HS she would never see those people again, ya know? Also, why the hell would anyone move to the USA?! gosh that sucks if I lived somewhere in europe and had to move to this hell hole, already filled with militia wanting to murder the gov.

NotAngelWest

March 30th, 2010
7:26 am

Just wait until Neanderthal Mike or his son, by Darwinian example, overstep their bounds and end up in prison. After he is gang raped by a bunch of “bullies” I bet he won’t have the audacity to say the “blame falls on her and the school” or in his case ‘him and the prison.’ I bet he will be crying like a little girl about his victimization. Shame on you for blaming this poor girl with so much potential, who didn’t even have time to acclimate to our American culture being recently from Ireland. It’s the law that students be mandated to attend these bastions of hypocrisy (school), and in doing so our citizenry deserves to be safe. PS. There are alot of men in prison who luuuuve a tough guy.

Jessica Lucens

March 30th, 2010
7:28 am

I want to know where the teachers and administrators were during all this? Why didn’t they intervene. And if this girl was so popular, why did none of her friends defend her during this bullying. I was bullied in school, but my friends stood up for me, escorted me to classes and walked or drove me home until the bullies got tired of trying to get around them. Pay attention, kids: if you are not strong enough to physically discourage bullies, you can take names & kick a** later with your parents, school administrators and even the cops.

Cathy

March 30th, 2010
7:29 am

@ Mike, and hardworkingal BULLIES!

A mom

March 30th, 2010
7:30 am

the fact that there are so many posts proves this is a very common serious problem. My son was harrassed in med school by a sociopath – a fellow student. he went for help and was told HE needed therapy and yes, the creep, who’d had run ins with others in the school is still there. My son withdrew and this sicko will be a physician some day. It happens at every age and the sad thing is these sociopaths can smell a kind gentle soul a mile away. Satan does walk on this earth in the form of evils like this. I hope for these nine students that they spend their life remembering what they’ve done. A beautiful vibrant young girl is now gone – hopefully to a better place than this pathetic world which only seems to get sicker by the day.

Moe Moe

March 30th, 2010
7:36 am

This sort of bullying happens everywhere. My own kid was categorically harassed because she had dyslexia, and one of the teachers called her “stupid” in front of the whole class! From that point on, her days in this school were nonstop harassment, jeering, and bullying. My prayers go out to this poor girls family! They should have pulled her out of this hell hole of a school. That’s what I did, and my kid is much happier and HEALTHIER for it.

sean

March 30th, 2010
7:39 am

Iam so sorry for phoebe and for her family to have encountered the ugly side of this world, these kids are 100% responsible for their actions and should be punished to the full extent of the law, we are responsible for eveything we say and do in this life and should learn the the power of our words as well as our actions.

Jim

March 30th, 2010
7:59 am

I’m amazed that the school officials are getting off Scott-free. These people are in a position of authority and we trust our children to their care for one-third of their day while at school. The school officials are just as guilty as the teens and if nothing else should be charged for aiding and abetting criminal activity. They knew of this activity and chose to look the other way with tragic consequences.

Jim

March 30th, 2010
8:04 am

Josey is obviously a bully . . . Hank, I like the way you think!

J.R.

March 30th, 2010
8:09 am

I’m amazed that the school officials are getting off scott-free. These people are in a position of authority and we entrust our children to them for one-third of their day while in school. Having chosen to turn a blind-eye to this activity they have infact encouraged such activity and if nothing else should be charged for aiding and abetting a criminal activity. Had they stepped in, this young lady might very well still be alive today.

Disgusted

March 30th, 2010
8:21 am

To Whiskey Charlie….I just read your comment and I am OUTRAGED!!!! You have to be kidding me!! CRUEL and UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT??? What are you thinking?? These 9 KIDS joked and laughed about this death at a party!! They knew exactly what they were doing!!!! They need to be dealt with as adults and put away!!!!

Annatola

March 30th, 2010
8:28 am

MIke-
You obviously have not understood “Bullying.” Your simple, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and teach your kids to knock others out if they’re bothering you is a caveman response, with all do respect. Children are developmentally and psychologically vulnerable and we need to protect them. Survival of the fittest requires all the evolved souls–I repeat, “EVOLVED” souls–meaning those who truly get that a child does not have the defenses to protect themselves against children raised by ego-centered imbeciles. Our society NEEDS sensitive children, children who are not psychologically soul-dead and always mass-consciousness oriented.

You have so oversimplified the problem to justify yourself and the bullying of others, that you have offered nothing for us to learn from. Keep our combat boots on, your lectures to your kids going and leave the evolution of consciousness and the laws to those who understand what is going on. You are too simple….in that simplicity, ineffective to the mass of people/children who need to get the help they need to survive. I mean, blaming, Phoebe….you should be ashamed of yourself. May that Karma come back to haunt you.

Jennifer

March 30th, 2010
8:31 am

Part of the problem is that most schools I have worked with will not allow the parents of those concerned sit down and talk together. They will not allow an exchange of phone numbers nor will the school offer to mediate the situation. I can’t tell you how many times the parent of a victim comes in and just asks as a solution to bring in the other parents and work through the issues. I don’t want to put all the burden on the schools, but until they wake up and bring parents into the equation, they will continue to struggle with these issues. Where there are unwilling parents, then other measures need to be used to make kids safe. But in what I have observed, that is the minority.

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mark Sumpter, legallawyer. legallawyer said: News: Why didn't someone save Phoebe Prince from unrelenting bullying?: Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) … http://tinyurl.com/ycf36v3 [...]

Erin

March 30th, 2010
8:34 am

it’s obvious that Mike and Josey are bullies. I hope if they have children they do not find themselves in the same place where these 9 students parents are, but unless they can come to understand that sticks and stones as well as WORDS DO hurt, and that the effects can’t be reversed sometimes… they too may end up in the same situation someday.

Just Wondering

March 30th, 2010
8:35 am

I know a young student up in Calhoun who is relentlessly bullied to the point he now abuses himself. Teachers know about it, parents know about it, yet it is allowed to continue. It used to be that bullies would continue until the student body had enough and took him or her on and when administrators stepped in paddling would occur. Now with the complacency of the administrators kids know nothing will happen to them so why stop bullying, and those who would stand up to them feel helpless because they, too, know nothing will happen to the bullies. Enough is enough. Stop pandering to the masses, stop denying your “baby” is a bully, allow corporal punishment back in school (often the threat of the paddling was enough), and teach your kids how to stand up to bullies. If a kid is being bullied and finally fights back – don’t punish the one being bullied. It is self defense. If the parents of the bully refuse to do anything, hold them accountable as well. Kick the bully out, they are a disruptor to the education of the other students.

A Different Opinion

March 30th, 2010
8:37 am

Roadtoad

March 30th, 2010
12:45 am

Roadtoad, you need to get a backbone!!!!!

Allen

March 30th, 2010
8:44 am

Here in DeKalb we know how to deal with this: pay a friend of the superintendent half a million dollars to conduct an “investigation” with no report and issue a short statement blaming the family of the victim.

Gail

March 30th, 2010
8:47 am

Parents are ultimately responsible for the behavior of their children. However, as a teacher, I believe the school should have intervened. This is the policy at our school. On three separate occasions students were recently assigned 5 days of in-school suspension at an “alternative school” because of bully behavior. FYI…..the person slamming Southern grammer should read a reputable dictionary to learn that “hanged” is an acceptable alternative to “hung”.

Amanda Gilman

March 30th, 2010
8:47 am

I’m sorry for the length of this post but I have a great deal to say. I would like very much to speak to the “Mikes” in our society (see earlier post). Bullying is not what it used to be – these kids were not refusing to play at recess or taking lunch money (reprehensible behaviors for sure though significantly less serious).
These teens were relentlessly harassing/humiliating this poor girl with every resource they had available – they used ethnic slurs for her Irish heritage, labeled her a “slut”, and used multiple intimidation tactics. Their behavior embodied exactly the type of conduct that our laws define as harassment and stalking. Then when this young woman took her life because they had demoralized her to the point where she felt worthless the bullies went on Facebook and mocked her death. To further reflect the severe character flaws of these teens consider what is continuing to happen after Phoebe’s death; when a news team came to the school campus and interviewed some students about the widely known campaign against Phoebe an uninvolved teen girl described the vicious nature of the attacks against the dead girl only to be rewarded with physical assault – one of the female bullies slammed her into a locker and punched her in the face as soon as the news crew left. These teens absolutely deserve incredibly severe punishment – their actions directly resulted in a death whether that was their intention or not.
Furthermore, I would like to make it very clear that by making excuses for these teens we are essentially condoning their actions. These are learned behaviors – what else are we teaching them through our response?
I would like to close by briefly addressing the stereotype of who is a bully and who is a victim. Yes, bullies (female and male) pick those considered “weaker” either physically, mentally or socially but those identified as “weaker” individuals at the tender age of 15 have a lot of potential for greatness in the future. I have been bullied and am a big enough person to admit I have also been a bully (and feel true remorse for my actions). I was a Miss USA contestant who competed in the nationally televised pageant, a college graduate and now a successful business professional completing my Master’s degree in leadership. If I had been written off at 15 for being weak where might I be now?
P.S.
You’ll note that I used my full name because I take responsibility for my words and actions. Internet anonymity directly correlates to the increase in cyber bullying among young people and I intend to lead by example. If you have something to say OWN IT!

Rambler

March 30th, 2010
8:51 am

Mike – YOU have got to be kidding me! According to the article, the bullying went as far as her being raped and having at least one can thrown at her. This is far beyond non-contact bullying that can be ignored.

Denis

March 30th, 2010
8:53 am

I read most of the comments on this post and the thing that really makes me mad is that the students did nothing!!! I have two children, one was quiet and thus had some bullying against her, the other was outgoing and athletic and was able to take care of himself and his sibling when needed. I raised them not to start a fight but to never back down from one either!!! When we do not teach our children not to stand up for others, then we grow up to be adults that will not stand up for other also!!!!

DBW

March 30th, 2010
8:54 am

I grew up all over the USA. Always the new kid and always bullied in some way. At about the age of 15 that all changed. I figured if I could take it… what happens when I dished it back to those who deserved it. I almost lost my left eye from a cowardly sucker punch from a 6 foot 3 inch kid who ran down some bleachers and caught me blindsided as I turned around. I should have thanked ole Quincy… And I did just that. I never backed down and I kicked ass from then on. Didn’t matter to me if I was fighting 1 person or 6 of the bastards and all at the same time. Same result. They lost and sometimes they had broke bones to show for it and others times… they bled their way to the E.R.

In one fight that started with 5 to 1 odds, one kid left trying to hold his eye in the socket. The police officer asked in I wanted to press charges against my oppressors. I don’t think it was necessary.

By the time I had graduated I was in more fights each year than the sum of all the kids at my school each combined and probably multiplied a time or two.

I didn’t back down. I was never sure who was going to win and I knew exactly who was not going to lose. I never asked for help and never received any. I once had 11 fights in week and 4 in just one day. Sometimes they used weapons and every time they met the same result.

One thing was for sure, they were not going to lay on me or come within my 12 inch body space and if they did whatever they got, they earned it. Let a 200 pound kid with an extra foot of height explain how he and his twin brother got beat to a pulp by some skinny runt… It was a common story in my little town for a few brief years.

Recently I went back home and one of my younger cousins told me he wanted to thank me for standing up to the bullying. He said ever since I did what I did people never knew what to expect any more and so were a lot more careful who they picked on in school or even in the community.

See I only stood about 5 foot 6 or 7 inches and weighed in at a featherweight 130 pounds or so soak and wet.

I was also the quiet kid and one of the brightest of my class despite my moving from school to school and even being expelled from school after a riot in which some kids got a lot more than they gave. Nothing less than deserved however. Sad to say.

If the big kids and the sportsy kids give other kids a hard time and the culture/parents or whatever allow it and even encourage it. Turn the tables.

There will always be a table…

What goes around comes around.

So no I still don’t approve of bullying.

It only takes one trip to the E.R. for a community to wake up and stop such nonsense.

The question is which kid has to take that trip?

The bit about educators not seeing it is pathetic. They know or “hear” of it in the school halls and should be held to the highest accountability if they allow it to persist or they are as guilty of the crime as those who committed it. In some quiet way they allow such a culture to exist.

I have a friend who had his young son and only son beaten down in Denver over his being of German descent. His collar bone was broken and his body was bloodied in the incident and it is published.

This type of behavior cannot be condoned. Somehow it is.

Listen to some of the people who have responded here…

God bless the bully who treads on me… cause I won’t.

To the Mike’s of the world… sometimes, every once in a while, your world can change, and when it does and you meet a person who does bend or who will not yield, your world can and will change in the blink of an eye.

FYI: Self-Defense is “ALWAYS” and option. If more people tried it less people would have to.

For those who say and think: Tell someone and report it… It’s not as easy as it may look to the adults who offer such good advice, when you are being kicked down in an empty bathroom or back of a bus, or somewhere else on school grounds – and literally scared to death of what is going to happen next.

It takes time for a school incident to get responded to sometimes. It takes the bully only one a brief immediate second to injure another student or traumatize another student for life.

People wonder why and often times feel sorry for the sociopaths when they meet the psychopaths…

Which came first?

pam

March 30th, 2010
8:58 am

stop these mean people and charge the parents for such bad parenting an lack of role modeling by parents everything starts @ home! I hope they are all punished to full exstent! But nothing bring that girl back you sick insecure people!

A Mom

March 30th, 2010
8:59 am

My daughter was bullied for years. We looked into changing schools. A couple teachers were helpful but when I spoke with the vice principal about it and asked to have a meeting with him and the main bully’s mother, you know what he said. He said, ” oh that would be too personal”. You think. It was personal. No wonder bullies get away with it. The schools don’t care. Something has to be done. Later on this same bully was suspended for threatening another girl on line.

Rambler

March 30th, 2010
9:00 am

Hardworkinggal – I think you are too hard on roadtoad. I didn’t get that he was comparing his being bullied to Phoebe’s, except to say that if we don’t stop bullying when these children are children, then they go on to do bullying in the workplace, and do it more creatively and in a manner that is hard to fight. So, bullying needs to be stopped as soon as it starts.

Rambler

March 30th, 2010
9:05 am

Hank – I love your soloution – it is swift, effective, crime-related, and doesn’t overload our jails for years and years, but makes the punishment memorable and definately would make kids think before they decided to pick on someone and would make the parents think when they let their little one get away with bullying!

Renegade

March 30th, 2010
9:08 am

@ Sean..DITO– you are dead on right,without A doubt. @ Mike..You must be totally ignorant.

Kayy

March 30th, 2010
9:11 am

she was to young to die i think that parents need to know whats going on in school and with their friends. may god be with her!

Monica in NC

March 30th, 2010
9:11 am

I am a former school administrator who dealt effectively with bullying when it was brought to my attention and I could confirm that it was in fact taking place, usually by interviewing some student witnesses and guaranteeing them anonymity, then checking with some adults to see if they’d seen anything that might indicate an issue. (I usually avoided describing it as “bullying” because so many teachers roll their eyes and resist intervening, thinking it’s a rite of passage. It’s easier to work around them than to try to recruit them to help.)

My procedure was to bring the bully, ALONE, into my office and describe exactly what I had been told, guarding the identities of the informants. After all the sputtering and denials and claims to be the actual victim subsided, I would tell the student that as the administrator, I don’t have to “witness” anything. My job is to take the stories of those involved and weigh them, then render a decision based on my interpretation. I would notify the kid that (1) I believe the victim and the witnesses, (2) there would be zero tolerance of any more bullying, (3) I would notify his/her parents of the bullying and the warning, and (4) the next instance would result in AT MINIMUM an out-of-school suspension, and a pattern of bullying would result in a report of stalking and criminal harassment to the police, signed by me, and transfer of the bully to the district alternative school. I told the parents and the bully that students have a civil right to attend school without being harassed and that it was my job to ensure the safety of all the kids. Most administrators do not see this as part of their job. I only took these steps when I could confirm that serious bullying was occurring and that the victim was not making efforts to instigate the situation. I also only took these steps when I had substantial corroboration of the situation.

I can tell you exactly why administrators usually do nothing. First of all, most of them share the teachers’ predominant attitude that bullying is no big deal and it’s a rite of passage. Secondly, administrators who intervene in bullying cases become targets themselves of the angry parents of the bullies. And parents who complain loudly get the ear of the superintendent and the school board. When administrators take the steps I took, the bully’s parents go completely berserk 9 times out of 10.

I have had bullies’ parents go to the school board and demand that I be drummed out of the district for “victimizing” their child, for believing the victim without actually witnessing the actual acts of bullying myself, and for being way too harsh on “kids being kids.” I have had parents yank their bully sons out of my high school and “homeschool” them rather than accept the fact that their sons were bullies–and this was only after a warning, with no punishment administered. I have only had one instance since 1985 of parents acknowledging that what their child was doing was hurtful and wrong. The parental freakout by bullies’ parents is unbelievable. I have worked in several states and this reaction by bullies’ parents is pretty much uniform on the East Coast across 25 years of my experience.

maidenhouston

March 30th, 2010
9:14 am

I was a very fat poor kid growing up. Kids made fun of me behind my back. Although the kids knew I could hurt them physically, their teasing would eventually make it’s way back to me and I would just tear up in silence. The chuckling and whispers were ever prevelant for me when I was in elementary school.

On one such occasion, my teacher Mrs. Thompson, picked up a drawing that all the kids were passing around and she asked me to leave the room. Mrs. Thompson proceeded to tear into the entire class and admonish them for being so mean and two-faced. I don’t know what happened to her but I’m really grateful she decided to stand up for me when no one else would.

My father was an alcoholic and he would beat my mother regularly. Things were not good at home to say the least and I was the poor fat kid people made fun of behind my back. With all that said, I felt someone cared when few did and that is something I will never forget.

Renegade

March 30th, 2010
9:15 am

Enter your comments here

maidenhouston

March 30th, 2010
9:15 am

I wish Phoebe had a Mrs. Thompson. Unfortunately she didn’t.

Kayy

March 30th, 2010
9:15 am

parents need to be more into what their ,kids are doing

dbow

March 30th, 2010
9:15 am

You want to know why this happened? Because administrators have no backbone. I laugh each day as I watch students out of dress code walk by me. If I thought for one second that the admin would do something about it, I would report it. Their response is to either tell me to call the kids parents or have the kid sit in the office for a few minutes and then get sent back to class. Most of these kids aren’t even my students, but they want me to call home? If the admin are going to handle the little stuff like dress code infractions this way, what makes anyone think they’re going to handle bullying any better. Their answer to everything is to put it on the teacher as if we don’t already have enough to do.

Aim

March 30th, 2010
9:27 am

No one helped Phoebe because she’s new and the bullies rise from S.Hadley since they were babies so it makes sense the bullying abuse falls on deaf ears. The whole school supports the bullies like Sean Mulveyhill a football LB jock and Kayla Narey field hockey/la crosse STAR/honor student when these predator bullies make in all over the local news as S.Hadley sport celebrities. Phoebe had absolutely zero chance getting any attention from these two celebrity predator bullies and the bullies knew what they were doing it’s premeditated abusive behavior. The whole country should focus on the problem of predator bullying in schools and maybe include anti-bully as part of curriculum because no matter how great the school district is there will be predator bullies around. The DA is right on exposing the names of these predators and relentlessly prosecute for their terrorist act on Phoebe.

Batgirl

March 30th, 2010
9:34 am

To answer your question, Maureen, I have no idea why the school would do nothing if they knew about the bullying. In my experience, if teachers know that a child is being picked on, they will stop it. However, a lot of times so-called bullying is a two-way street with both sides picking on each other. We’ve had cases where the “victim” cursed and called other students names until they got fed up and did something about it. Then the “victims” went to the principal or to Mama and claim they were being picked on. It doesn’t look like that was the situation with this girl, but it does happen. As stated, much of it goes on online and off campus. Home life should also be looked at when a child commits suicide. There may be something going on there, too. However, having said all that, I do believe that if these nine are responsible they should be punished for their actions. This is a sad, sad situation. No child should ever feel so hopeless that he/she feels compelled to commit suicide.

RJ

March 30th, 2010
9:34 am

The problem is that we’re raising a generation of uncaring, self-centered kids. Students are standing by watching kids get beaten or bullied without reporting it to anyone. Girls are becoming worse than boys. It’s not a racial or socio-economic issue anymore, it’s happening everywhere. Dr. Phil showed footage from a train station where a girl was attacked and beaten unconscious while “security” simply watched. She asked a police officer for help and they did nothing. Cyber bullying is the latest craze. Parents are encouraging fights as well. This has to stop.

Joseph J Soap

March 30th, 2010
9:37 am

The football captain, honour role student; it sounds like the cast of one of the numberless films exported by America promoting this horrible hierarchy and clique mentality. These kind of tragic outcomes aren’t shown on the OC unfortunately and young people this side of the atlantic are all too ready to hop on the abercrombie bandwagon.

South Hadley High School | VsCon

March 30th, 2010
9:40 am

[...] apparently in the presence of a faculty member and several students, none of whom reported it unSouth Hadley High School – Earlier in the day, Prince had been harassed as she studied in the library at South Hadley High [...]

Violette

March 30th, 2010
9:49 am

This comment by the author of this article is right on: “Bullies go after younger and smaller kids, but victims also are chosen because they are more anxious, sensitive, cautious and quiet.”
This is allowed to happen in schools and allowed to go on into the work place. Bullies never stop if not corrected when young. Bullying gets worse at work. Why not do an honest survey at at work places and see how many grownups go through this daily.

South Hadley High School

March 30th, 2010
9:54 am

[...] Why Didn't Someone Save Phoebe Prince From Unrelenting Bullying She had enrolled at the school in the fall after moving to the United States from Ireland,… [...]

John MacDonald

March 30th, 2010
9:54 am

I spent 15 years as a school administrator and my final four years in a provincial position in which I visited nearly all of the more than 500 schools in Nova Scotia.

I commend the prosecutor. She should use every means to ensure that significant penalties are imposed on the perpetrators. The rapists, for example, should receive the same multi-year jail sentences that any adult would receive. The others should also receive some jail time, assuming that option is available.

Though I understand that the school cannot be charged in this case, there must be an investigation with full dissemination of the results. It would appear that there is certainly some culpability on the part of the school, especially since the girl’s parents informed them of the abuse. Their apparent negligence must be highlighted as an example to other school boards, administrators, and teachers.

Quite simply, bullying cannot be tolerated. There must be accountability for those who allow it to continue.

Again, my commendations to the prosecutor.

Mike

March 30th, 2010
9:55 am

The parents of the children should also be penalized for this. I hear talk of “values” so often it makes me sick to my stomach, when I read stories, like this, of children who are seemingly raised more by television than morally responsible adults. This is criminal, and no child should ever be forced to put up with the product of people who don’t teach the value of respect to their kids.
God Bless that poor child.

Bob

March 30th, 2010
9:57 am

I remember in my public High School back in the 80’s we had a punishment worse than paddling. It was in-school suspension isolated trailer with enforced silence while you did your work by one of the toughest coaches we had. Lunch was delivered there, often cold. You had to show up at 7AM and leave as late as 6PM. A single peep in response to the coach’s constant drill sargent barking would extend your sentence by 1 day the first time, 2 days the second time, etc. Tardiness was treated the same way. Repeated offenses in in-school suspension will result in expulsion. It was either this or expulsion, very few out-of-school suspensions were allowed.

The point of this in-school suspension is to make you fear this punishment as much as possible. It was fear of this that kept us in line. If a teacher saw bullying going on the threat of in-school suspension either stopped it cold or the bully will have a lot of time in the trailer. If you are a bystander that saw it happen and you said nothing you will get 3 to 5 days and the bully will be told by the coach that you “snitched” on him to get a lesser punishment, that encouraged kids to come forward.

In this case it should not have gotten to this point. It is because kids no longer fear the teachers and principals that the law must step in when it is too late for Phoebe.

Monica in NC

March 30th, 2010
10:03 am

Most administrators have the same attitude that most teachers have, that bullying is a rite of passage, that the victim is somehow bringing it on himself or herself, that it’s no big deal. When I was a building administrator, I had a very specific protocol for dealing with hardcore high school bullying of the variety that this poor girl endured.

When a situation was brought to my attention, usually by the victim or the victim’s parents, I took interviewed them and took extensive notes. I then spoke to teachers and other adults in the school to see if they had noticed anything—I learned not to use the term “bullying,” because of the eye-rolling and attitude of the other administrators and the teachers—it was easier to work around them and build a case myself than to try to get their cooperation in advance in working to change the culture of the school, especially if the bully was a popular student with influential parents.

I also interviewed student witnesses, always alone, and always guaranteeing their anonymity. I took care to interview them at times when other students wouldn’t know that they were in my office, perhaps having the guidance counselor or a coach lend me their office instead and have the school secretary send a note to call the student there.

Once I determined whether there was a persistent and serious bullying issue, I met alone with the bully in my office. I went to the bully’s classroom to get him or her myself, because I wanted the rest of the students to see that something was up and I was aware of it. During the course of my discussion with the bully, I allowed the student to offer his or her side of the story, which usually was in diametric opposition to everything I had heard from the victim and the witnesses and the adults. Frequently the bully would characterize him or herself as being victimized by the victim and simply defending him or herself. Even when confronted with hard evidence such as notes and eyewitness accounts from several others, including adults, I never had a bully who would break down and admit to such cruelty. I did not reveal any of my sources to the bully. I told the bully that I would notify his or her parents of the situation and that zero tolerance would be implemented effective immediately.

Before the student left my office, I would notify him or her that if there were any retaliation whatsoever against the victim, or anyone s/he thought had been a witness, either in school or online, that there would be an immediate ten-day out-of-school suspension for disruption of the academic environment, and this would apply to any of the bully’s friends who took any retaliatory action. (I never had to enforce this—it was a very effective way to shut down the grapevine.) I also notified the bully that any future incidents would be considered a persistent pattern of behavior by me and would result in the bully’s being transferred to the district’s alternative school at best, possible expulsion from our campus, and a police report filed by me for stalking, criminal harassment, and potentially assault. At this point, I would have the school resource officer come in to back me up on the criminal issue. I would explain to the student that my job as administrator was to hear all the sides and weigh the issue, that I believed the victim and the witnesses, and that I would tolerate no more bullying, period, and I had the legal authority to back up what I was telling him or her.

As soon as the bully left my office, I would call the parents and ask them to come in for a conference. I would give them the same information I had given their child, including all of the background information I had gathered so they would know that the situation was serious. Since 1985, I have had a grand total of ONE set of parents who were aghast at their child’s behavior and demanded to see her right then and admonish her to cut it out. Every other set of parents went berserk. I have had parents show up at school board meetings and demand that I be fired for victimizing their football player son by disciplining him for physically assaulting a gay classmate in the cafeteria in front of dozens of witnesses. I have had parents yank their sons out of my high school to homeschool them rather than accept my warning (not punishment) of their sons for physically and verbally harassing a female student in plain view of teachers and other students. I have had fellow administrators tell me that I was making a big deal out of nothing, that I was bringing unwelcome attention to the superintendent’s office and the school board, and that kids will be kids.

Persistent and severe bullying is a violation of a student’s civil right to a free and appropriate public education. Administrators have to deal with it effectively, and that usually falls on the assistant principal or dean of discipline. It takes time, backbone, and the support of senior administrators, the superintendent, and the school board.

Jane

March 30th, 2010
10:06 am

Mike,

Your posts are ignorant, as are you. When a child is tormented so much that she/he feels the best option is to commit suicide, I think it’s safe to say this isn’t normal bullying. These kids who drove her to this obviously aren’t getting the right discipline or being taught what is moral at home – so let them sort it out while they wallow in a jail cell.
I’m honestly astonished that you could really be obtuse about the matter, the more you write, the less credibility you have, and the more you make yourself look like an idiot.
Good luck with your “well mannered” son whom you have raised to think that violence is the answer – great parenting, I’m sure you endorse beating women as well – they are weaker after all, and sometimes need to be put in their place, right?

Dan

March 30th, 2010
10:24 am

Wow the whole thing is kind of scary and tragic. My fear is that the reaction to this will be some kind of zero tolerance policy that will result in ridiculus charges being filed for normal behavior. Like when a 1st grader is expelled for drawing a gun or having an aspirin. Lets hope the result is common sense discipline being allowed to take place in school

Dan

March 30th, 2010
10:29 am

Monica your post sounds cogent and reasonable, and I am sure much of your experience is can be explained by the adage “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” however if you have only had 1 set of parents agree with your assessment in 20+ years I suspect your definition of bullying could be a tad stringent. It reminds me of a friend who in searching to legitimize his claim that Atlanta has aweful rude drivers commented that he is honked at 3 or 4 times a week. I commented that I have lived here for about 16 years and have been honked at a total of 3 or 4 times so perhaps the cause of the honking was his driving and not the “atlanta drivers”

mike

March 30th, 2010
10:33 am

Where was the national article for the little boy of the Dekalb school system who did the same as this young girl.

Monica in NC

March 30th, 2010
10:35 am

Dan, I’ve dealt with only about a dozen incidents of this severe nature over 20 years. Most bullying is garden-variety and can be handled effectively without going to such extremes. When it gets to the point where victims are considering changing schools or worse, taking their own lives, it requires a severe response.

Monica in NC

March 30th, 2010
10:36 am

The key to “handling it effectively” is for adults to make it very clear up-front to the bullies that they see what is happening and that it won’t be tolerated. Then impose consequences in a progressively more strict manner. Most adults just won’t do this.

Angela Motta

March 30th, 2010
10:42 am

As a parent my heart goes out to her parents and to all the kids that have to endure this abuse. Kids have to receive severe punishment for this behavior.
The bullies become adults and continue the same behavior in the work place. There is lots of bullying happen in work place also.
This country has to come out with specific laws to deal with this type of crime. Because this behavior is a crime.

Dunwoody Mom

March 30th, 2010
10:44 am

mike, it was national news at the time – CNN even ran several stories
on the DeKalb incident.

I was reading several articles/editorials in the Boston papers this morning. Such mean, mean children these are and they apparently have no conscience either.

Marisa

March 30th, 2010
10:46 am

Bullys are people who gain self worth from treading on others. These people grow up and become the jerks who don’t use their turn signals before cutting in front of you in their huge SUVs (again another sign the driver may have self worth issues). At the end of the day, parents MUST teach their children how to push back. I thank goodness that my father taught me to be the one that pushes back. I’m 45 now and while I choose to ignore a lot of bullish behavior in our society, I still speak up when someone tries to step on my toes… I therefore don’t subscribe to the “turn the other cheek” baloney. If I had children, I believe I would try to instill in them to treat people how you would like to be treated, but if they are treating you poorly, don’t just take it. It’s frightening standing up to bullies, but once you’ve done it, it becomes easier and easier, until you grow up and realize that you have a good sense of self worth and pretty much get along with everyone… except those bullying few….who you stand up to. I feel so bad for this family, coming from Ireland, a country with relatively small population, America must have been such a culture shock for her. Could petty jealousy by the School Administration kept them from doing anything? Are any of the bullies children of the Administration? This is pathetic, but sadly a big problem in the US…. Why didn’t the School do anything? Then again, if it was so bad, why didn’t the parents take her out of school until the school agreed to do something about it?

Dan

March 30th, 2010
10:50 am

Monica thanks I meant to ask how many you were referring too. Clearly bullying needs to be addressed but I still fear the response will be a knee jerk CYA action where normal childhood behavior will be branded violent. The education system just seems particularly bad at reasonable discipline. I don’t mean to suggest it is easy, but schools do seem to provide the best examples of PC run amok

Elizabeth Mason

March 30th, 2010
10:53 am

Yes, bullying is an issue that schools deal with on a daily basis and try to control. However, there has been little mention of the rape issue which could have led to the suicide issue more so than the bullying which took place at school. The biggest issue with bullying on a school campus is it goes unreported until a major incident occurs and then that is the first time the administration is aware of the bullying of the student. Schools need additional help from classmates, parents and the student itself.

[...] Downey, writing in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, asks the only important question: For those of you who work in schools, why would administrators [...]

zorlander

March 30th, 2010
10:56 am

As the parent of a child that was bullied in school growing up I can say I have seen this problem first hand. Kids are different today than they were when we were growing up. yes, it use to be “3:00, bike rack” but today kids have not been taught the value of human life and easily step over that boundry on a daily basis- just read the front page of todays AJC. They think little of the repercussions of their actions and parents are so fast to defend their little tyrants that they think ” my little Johnny couldnt possibly be like that”! NEW FLASH! He is! The schools on the other hand are a completely different problem. It has been my observation that teachers/administrators turn a blind eye to this problem, reports and even incidents. Case in point, my son was beaten at the bus stop, down on the ground the other boy kept kicking him so badly that he did damage. The bus driver came up over the hill and seen the whole thing. She did the right thing and stopped it and reported it. When I got to the school I was told by administration that the other boys foot “slipped” and it was an accident! At which time I politly told the admin staff that the first time that boys foot contacted my sons ribs MIGHT have been an accident, but the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc time was malice intent and I would not only prosecute the boy and his parents but the school as well if it was not resolved as of now. The boy was expelled and later went to jail for unrelated charges but the point here is if you think your kid cant or wont, you need to open your eyes. if you think your kid is or was, be a parent. find out and do something before you find your daughter or son hanging from the the staircase!!

MikeeK

March 30th, 2010
11:03 am

The school employees should also be charged with child neglect. They are in loco parentis and responsible for this child’s protection during the school day. They didn’t do what they should have done and should be in jail right now and certainly out of a job. Are we seriously going to let these incompetents manage the next case like this that comes up in the school?

Of course the kids should be prosecuted if they broke one or more laws. Nobody’s ruining their lives but their own conduct.

Jim K

March 30th, 2010
11:19 am

The fact that some of these kids posted more insults on the memorial website set up for the girl shows there is no remorse for what they did nor should there be any remorse in punishing them. What a huge waste of skin!

Elvgren

March 30th, 2010
11:21 am

Being a victim of bullying myself, I can totally relate to how kids feel when they are being tormented. I was told almost on a daily basis that I needed to kill myself and was threatened with having my a$$ kicked or threatened with my life all because I dressed different. I had gone to school with most of my former classmates since we were in the 1st grade so they all knew me in elementary school and liked me but once high school started everything changed. I don’t think these kids should go to jail for bullying this girl but I also don’t think they need just a slap on the wrist. I fortunately didn’t kill myself even though I was told to and threatened with someone else doing it but I do have some serious mental scarring from all of it. Should I go back almost 15 yrs and sue the bullies that made my life a living hell in high school??? No, because I am better than that and better than the petty, ignorant high school drama that takes place all around the world. These kids need to wake up and realize the world doesn’t revolve around who gets to date the football star and what clothes you wear. Life is much more than that and they won’t realize it if their parents keep wiping their a$$ instead of whipping it.

Stephens

March 30th, 2010
11:25 am

I am sickened by this behavior. What has happened to the minds of parents and school officials who allow this to happen? You are breeding hateful kids, so miserable with their own lives, that they must torture others. Each of those kids need to have help to find where their human side went. Not a single one of them could have taken it themselves, day after day, either.

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
11:27 am

Ole Guy-gotta disagree strongly here- paddling is just another form of bullying and teaches nothing good. Bullying is a multifaceted problem…parents encourage it when they bully their kids verbally and physically and when they do not teach their kids not to bully. Kids have to be taught that it is wrong. But when they bully their siblings and parents don’t step in, they learn to keep it up. When they do it at school and teachers turn a blind eye, they get really skilled at it. Girls are the very worst. Sneaky taunts just out of earshot of the teachers, stepping on heels and jabbing with elbows, starting rumors making faces. Worst of all, teachers enable this behavior by ignoring it (don’t want to take the time to address it), denying it is happening, or treating it like it’s “just girls being girls”. And as in the incident with my child, the simple statement,”Well, you can press bullying charges-but it will go on the child’s permanent record…” Lots of parents and teachers encourage the bullied to stand up for themselves and fight back…but bullied kids have not got that kind of nature and are usually smart enough to know that they will be in BIG trouble if they fight. Just recently a 6 year old hit another child in the face…the principle instructed the hitter that there were other ways to handle his anger..and then gave the kid who was hit in-school suspension. Last, just read these blogs-all subjects..just FULL of bullies- as soon as someone makes a statement they don’t like, they start calling names and taunting…just a bunch of grown-up bullies. And how do our moderators handle it? They just let it go on unless it gets really foul…just like in school. Society is going to have to stop bullying…but don’t hold your breath-we’re not that civilized, yet!

Angie

March 30th, 2010
11:34 am

So, comes now Angeles Chanon, the mother of Sharon Velazquez one of the bullies, and says “My daughter never fought with Phoebe Prince”. She comes from a home of “strong values” and, while suspended after a verbal exchange with the bullied girl a month before Prince’s suicide, never physically harmed her. “She exchanged a couple of words with her,” but Sharon never fougth with her or said “Go harm yourself or I hate you.” I read this and it makes me sick. It makes me want to go kick her and her daughter’s ass. This is exactly the reason why your daughter is the little bitch that she is. This is what you have taught her. You are in complete denial of your daughter’s actions. You minimize the gravity of the problem. You also mention that your daughter cried when she found out she was indicted in the case. Well, guess what? I hope she cries the rest of her life rotting in jail along with the others. Well-deserved! Now… Phoebe’s mom can say… “It’s just your daughter in jail”. No harm done. Society will miss nothing except another little bitch who acts without thinking of possible consequences. Welcome to the real world. Nothing goes unpunished too long. Kudos to the prosecutors and I hope they get maximum sentence regardless of age.

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
11:37 am

@Dan-Bullying is not “normal childhood behavior” and just the fact that I need to say that demonstrates my earlier point. Children need to know that taunting, name-calling, and physical and verbal “digs” are NOT normal and aren’t acceptable. While they may not appear to be overtly violent, the result is the same as a punch in the face. Until we adults understand and accept that, we will continue to see the kids bully. If WE don’t even consider bullying to be bad, how the heck will the kids ever learn it?!

Jack

March 30th, 2010
11:40 am

Isn’t is something how children are “protected by law” from adults and their parents, but not protected by law from other children? This isn’t old age bullying anymore, it’s defamation of character, discrimination, rape, assualt with intent to harm, harrassment, humiliation, torture, mental abuse, etc. I wish in this age of technology more students would record and video these things. I wish Phoebe would have had a friend video what was happening, record the verbal abuse, threats, and conversations with school officials. Her mother went to the school 2 times, and her mother should have recorded those conversations. I wish they would have used this strategy to work together and put a stop this situation. By collecting irrefutable proof, bringing it to the police, and pressing charges against the students involved and the school – it would have stopped. They should have threatened lawsuits and citizens arrests to make their point clear. Old bullying is knocking books out of someones hands, and calling them 4 eyes – in other words, just being a jerk and an ass. Modern day bullying is advanced to the point of being truly criminal. I blame the bulliers, the parents of the bulliers, and the school. These under-aged victims and their parents need to empower themselves. These bully groups are modern day terrorist cells. Some if not most corporations require employees to take sexual harrassement, anti-discriminatory, and integrity courses, among others. One of the reasons for this is to “teach” employees “where to draw the line”, “how to appropriately act” in the workplace, and what do if you feel you’re being violated. It should be mandatory in schools, since some parents suck, to show children how to and how not to behave in (at least) school, what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior, what the school expects of them, what to do if they feel violated, and explain the consequences when students violate the schools rules and break public laws.

Pamela

March 30th, 2010
11:47 am

Yes those children that bullied this girl are monsters!!!!! I hope they spend the rest of their pitiful lives behind bars until the day they die!!!!!

August Paul

March 30th, 2010
11:49 am

@Mike – you’ve received enough abuse here, but let me tell you a story. I was bullied in school and I was timid and tried to avoid the bully. But I also had a temper and one day, while being mildly tormented, I snapped and beat the stuffing out of him. He might have fared better and I worse if he had been prepared. I learned a lesson from that. Not long afterward, a classmate accidentally splashed mud on me and with my new found swagger, I beat the stuffing out of him too. It didn’t take long for guilt to settle in and I still feel bad about the second incident. 65 years later. I guess that’s what you mean by lessons learned in the school yard. But in instances where the bullied person is outnumbered as in the case of Phoebe, she can’t retaliate against all of them. She needed allies and evidently found none. To dismiss her as weak is to not see the unfairness in her situation.

As for the guy who didn’t stand up to his boss, you dismiss him as weak, but you again don’t consider the unfairness of the situation. When the bully is the boss, you have no option if you want to go on drawing a salary but to put up with it. In my adult life, I worked for a bully once and after a little more abuse than my temper would allow, I shouted back and embarrassed him in front of his staff. This strategy only works in a situation where you cannot easily lose your job. I worked for the government. It appears that the fellow you accused of being weak did not have that advantage. He really had no choice. Physically attacking the boss in the parking lot was not an option. His only option was losing the job and at a time when finding another one with a bully as your most recent reference is likely to put you in a situation where you also lose your house. In this case again, it was not a fair fight.

Your criticism of weakness is the verbal equivalent of a sneer which may or may not have been your intent. Ultimately in the case of Phoebe, those who persecuted her continued to do so because there were no brakes in the system. No one took into the account the unfairness of numbers, at least nine against one. The accused take the greater blame and therefore, I suppose, deserve the greater exposure for their actions. We don’t know their minds, but I am willing to venture that few if any of them wanted the outcome to be Phoebe’s death. They will all have to deal with this 65 years from now. As for the others who didn’t step forward, they carry some of the guilt themselves and their guild will be their punishment and perhaps some day, their redemption.

SmokinBear

March 30th, 2010
11:53 am

I think that Roadtoad brought up a valid issue that a few people missed. Bullying can be a way of life for some if it is not ‘checked’ and carries through adulthood. When you are trying to survive in this economy especially, it isn’t so simple to walk away or challenge bullies in the workplace.
It appears that ADifferentOpinion and Hardworkinggal’s ugly remarks were nothing short of an attempt to bully a total stranger online. A good example of Mob mentality? Perhaps, but its also the cover of anonymity that gives small minded people a false sense of empowerment.
Its fine to disagree but keep it civil.

For the relentless abuse that pushed a child to choose suicide, Sean Mulveyhill, 17; Kayla Narey, 17; Austin Renaud, 18; Ashley Longe; 16, Flannery Mullins, 16; and Sharon Chanon Velazquez, 16. Mulveyhill and Renaud should all be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

As a parent I am disgusted that these monsters dared to invade and post vicious comments on the memorial page for Phoebe. Her family will never stop grieving for the loss of their daughter, that she would not live to experience college, marry, have children of her own or create a life of her choosing. Well kids, now you’re famous for your reprehensible acts – hope that karma pays you back a thousand fold.

Greg

March 30th, 2010
11:53 am

As a father of a teenage daughter, I would turned the tables on these punk’s parents! Fire with fire baby!!!!!!!

DonnaH

March 30th, 2010
11:58 am

When my son was a first grader he was bullied by 6 older boys (1 was in 6th grade, the others in 2nd) on the playground and in before care and after care which was on the school grounds. He was bullied for over a year. When I complained I was told that the bullying had been stopped. The bullies never received any punishment. When I tried to start an antibullying campaign in the school I found out that the parents of the bullies were on the PTA board. The campaign never happened as they said it would be unfair to the bullies. It might hurt their feelings. Two years later, my son still has severe stomach pain every Sunday night and Monday morning. It use to be every day. The bullies and their parents get off scott free while I have spent thousands of dollars in medical treatment and lost days from work. Yes the teachers and the principal witnessed it every day.

Sarah H

March 30th, 2010
11:59 am

I am very upset with some of you people who seem to think that all the adults in the school ‘let’ this happen. If we see it, we do something about it. The bullies are really good at hiding their actions.

Don C

March 30th, 2010
12:01 pm

Hey why aren’t the damn PARENTS of these bullies being prosecuted as well? When I was growing up parents were just as responsible for the way their childeren behaved as the kids were. It all starts at home people let’s look at the parents of these little thugs too!!

DonnaH

March 30th, 2010
12:02 pm

Sadly these child bullies will become bullies in the workplace and their victims will become victims in the workplace.

DonnaH

March 30th, 2010
12:09 pm

The hierarchy system of public education creates some of the best bullies in the world. Teachers are harassed every day by administration. Why would they report student bullying when they experience adult workplace bullying everyday. This is a reflection of a bullying culture in the school and in the home.

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
12:20 pm

Out laws do not let us prosecute parents for the behavior of their kids, especially if the kids are old enough to be tried as adults. The question here, though, is why the teachers and administrators did NOTHING to protect this kid while she was at school.
Sarah H: I can understand how you can find this upsetting. I am sure YOU and many others like you would have stepped in. And,yes, kids are often sneaky with their bullying-but in this case, the bullying was so severe that it was known about ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. I do not believe that no person in authority knew this was going on. And,in addition, several of us have cited instances in our own lives where bulling was ignored and parents were brushed off, put off and essentially “bullied, when trying to get help from teachers and administrators for their kids. They don’t want to be involved and they do not want any responsibility in these situations. Maybe this will help put a stop to the ” I’ve never seen anyone picking on her ” attitude. Maybe, just maybe, some eyes will open, some questions will be asked…and a child will be saved.

Parent of Four

March 30th, 2010
12:24 pm

I find this one of the most frustrating things that occurs in school. One of my sons had an incident in school in which a couple of his piers were behaving like idiots, messing with him about his braces and hit him in the face, and his braces cut the inside of his mouth. When he went to the teacher, he told him he couldn’t see anything. Later, he (the teacher) came to my son and leaned down close to him and said in a whiney voice “boo hoo”, at which the other 2 boys started laughing. Cute right.
I took a picture of the cut in my son’s mouth after he told me what happened, and e-mailed it to the principal, along with a letter telling him what happened, and that I expected that teacher to appologize to my son and me for what he had done. The principal appologized to me, and made the teacher do so to my son in his office. But the teacher continued his bahavior by saying smart things to my son in class, like, I better not say that, or I’ll get sent to the principal’s office. As it was, I had a meeting set up with all of my son’s teachers to discuss his IEP information. I was just waiting for this teacher to arrive, because I really wanted to talk to him face to face. But like the insecure bully that he was, he couldn’t be embarrassed in front of his piers, and didn’t show up. I wasn’t afraid to stand up to him. He probably knew that, and that’s why he didn’t show up.
That kind of behavior from a teacher only encourages the behavior in students who are inclined to behave that way. The teacher should have been the person to put the brakes on what was occuring, instead of stoking it up, encouraging it, or ignoring it.
This was just my experience, and I know teachers work hard, and there are many wonderful teachers. But while our children are in school, they should be watching out for all of them. Bullying happens, but it should never get to this extent. I would be so ashamed of my children if they were to treat someone else this badly. These kids thought they were tough and that the situation was funny while they were harrassing this girl, they are responsible for the pain they caused, that led to her death. Now they should stand up and be accountable. And their parents should all be ashamed, because they failed their children by not teaching them how to treat others with respect.

Dan

March 30th, 2010
12:49 pm

Philosopher, I never said bullying was normal childhood behavior my fear was that normal childhood behavior would be labled bullying kind of like when one first grader kisses another and it is labled sexual harrassment. And quite frankly some level of teasing and name calling is normal behavior not positive behavior but certainly normal

Dan

March 30th, 2010
12:52 pm

Donna I suspect most of the bullies won’t succeed in the work place. Bullying is often a cover for other shortcomings that would undermine that. Sure their will be some but when I think back to bullys in school most probably aren’t in a position to bully subordinates

Andrea

March 30th, 2010
1:13 pm

BULLYING IS NOT PART OF SOCIALIZATION.
The parents of the nine attackers and school authorities failed tremendously on their respective roles and I feel deeply sorry for this little angel that didn’t see another solution than taking her life away. This could have been prevented. The role of a parent is to teach values, good manners to their kids and the role of a teacher is to continue reinforcing what they have already learned. Respect from one another is the pillar to be good citizens. Everything, everything starts from home. If there is not a good role model at home, kids grow up without discipline and these are the consequences (vandalism).

Parent, you need to be close to your children, spend some time with your teenager. Try to improve the communication with them. Most of the time parents are busy traveling, socializing and they forget that they have teenagers that need (especially in this period of life) the most of attention possible. As many know, growing up sucks. We all have passed that period with a lot of discomfort or probably a little less for other ones, but come on let’s be honest: This period was painful! Wasn’t it?! So, let’s help our teenagers. Let’s be part of their lives and good role models. If we see that one of our daughters or sons have aggressive conduct toward others, then we have to do something, right? We need to have a serious talk, don’t you think that’s educating? That is educating, of course! If we don’t do something now, that kid as an adult is going to have a lot of conduct problems at work, in the marriage, in the community, in other words is going probably to end in jail for being a troublesome. And we as parents, we wouldn’t like to see a son or daughter in jail. That would be very painful.

We all want a safe place to live, a place where we are not attacked of our race, gender or beliefs, so let’s make this a better place by educating our children.

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
1:16 pm

@Dan: And I say it is not normal, it is learned…and parents and teachers need to make sure they aren’t the ones teaching it and instead, are the ones who should help them unlearn it. To label it “normal” behavior is to brush it off as unimportant, allowing the behavior to be considered OK and become a habit…usually worsening as the child grows and becomes better at it.

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
1:20 pm

Bullies absolutely THRIVE in the work place…by the time they are adults, bullies have perfected the art of sneaky, subversive bullying, using their position to hold the bullied back, blocking promotion, , turning coworkers against each them with rumors, lies, and innuendoes. Women are the pros at it.

Laura

March 30th, 2010
1:21 pm

I think one of the biggest points being overlooked here, is that people can only take so much torture before they snap. Here, this poor girl took her own life. So many people on here are backing up the bullies, but I think I need to remind all those people of something.
Ever heard of Columbine High School?
Now, I am NOT in ANY WAY justifying the horrors that have gone on in school shootings or on college campuses, BUT every single one of those incidents began with some kid being bullied and EVEYRONE around them looking the other way. This cannot be tolerated! For the sake of ALL the children. In this case only one life was lost, but this girl, tormented beyond imagination, could have taken matters into her own hands as some of you have suggested. Kids do need to be able to stand up for themselves, but violence is never the answer.
I am in my late 20s. I was bullied in middle school by a vicious group of girls. The pinnacle of the torment was when they got a hold of a really bad photo of me and made flyers which they posted all over the school, with lewd, descriptive comments below. We went the administration and they did nothing. I switched schools shortly after that.
In the new public high school, I was instantly popular, but I stayed away from the ‘in-crowd’ for fear of what had happened to me when I was younger. I had my friends and kept mostly to myself. One day while in 11th grade there was a popular track jock teasing this kid who sat behind me. He was quiet and geeky and had bad acne. I can still see his face in my mind. I listened as the jock picked at him and my blood began to boil. I finally turned around and said, “Why don’t you leave him the f— alone?” The jock just about fell over. I was known for being a nice girl. I remember the jock said, “What does it matter to you?” and I said, “Because I’ve been him and if you’re going to keep it up, you better just start with me.” The jock never messed with that kid again in my sight. I don’t know if it solved everything, but I at least tried to do something. There is power in numbers. If kids could be taught not to look the other way, bullying would be a lot harder to get away with.
Finally, to break this, “weaker” person BS: I was 5’6, athletic, pretty and smart (and could have certainly taken one of those girls in a fight had it come to that). But women are sneaky. They don’t throw punches, they spread rumors and do any number other underhanded things to screw with each other. These girls picked on me, simply because I was new and I was kind. They never really need any reason at all. Anyone can be a victim of bullying. There is always someone bigger.

R. Gene Baxter

March 30th, 2010
1:53 pm

Children and teenagers bully because they are copying adults, and that is where they get it and the re-enforecement of the adult bragging in front of the children. It is not just what they do, but it is what they are taught by others. Society needs to take a strong stance against this, instead of taking the “good ‘ol boy” cod-scratching approach, which is the problem when they become of age. This is a sick part of the society, and the sports mentailty is one of the biggest area of this crime. People in charge, teachers, administrators, and parents, are more afraid of bad publicity than anything. Parents who condone this kind of activity in underage children should be arrested, and then the problem will ease. Cure the disease, and the symptoms will go away.

Dan

March 30th, 2010
2:23 pm

Picture two babies (at crawling age) and one cookie what do you think would happen absent the 8 months of socializing???? The larger baby would take the cookie from the smaller one. Thus learning when I take what I want I get a reward this is normal behavior there are no feelings of animosity or meaness simply a way to get what you want. What is taught is that there are other ways and perhaps if you share the cookie now you won’t have to fight for it later. Contrary to popular belief (and what people would like to believe) it is the good behavior that is learned,this in no way diminishes the parental influence, it actually makes it more important. To believe that good is natural and bad is not suggests (ableit simplistically) tha all one has to do to raise a good child is not be a bad influence, of course we all inately know this to be false, in fact a child needs to be taught what is right and how to act in a society whether that is a family or a school. Human beings just are not predisposed to be unselfish they need to learn it. I think this is pretty self evident although not as rosy a picture as some would like

Monica

March 30th, 2010
2:29 pm

I saw the Fox News update this morning on the pending charges of the bullying and I say, “FINALLY!”

I was bullied from 7th grade through 9th grade. I spent most of my time running home from school. In my freshmen year, I would strategically place myself in front of a classroom just outside of the bus loading zone. I am 47 years old and the pain of those years never goes away. And yes, it was usually over boys. And rarely did I have any interest in them…it was very one-sided but because the boy just happened to like me and not them…it was reason enough in their eyes. One particular girl lived across the street from me and she was the neighborhood bully. Although we were “friends” and played together at times when we were in fourth grade..if thngs did not go her way she would start throwing punches and pulling hair. Her parents always defended her actions. She was a mean and wicked hearted girl. She tormented me (because I was not allowed to fight) and my best friend across the street. I was delighted to hear that one day, my friend slapped her across the face. I know that we she never return evil for evil, but she had it coming to her and she got off mildly in comparison to what she did to us. This went on from fourth through sixth grade. In middle school she just worked on flirting with the boys I liked. Our freshmen year she finally moved away – and although it would be lonely in my neighborhood not having a same age friend…in my heart I rejoiced at her departure. My best friend and her family left when we were in eighth grade due to a job transfer.

When I became a mother, I promised myself that I would be a better defender of my children than what I received at home. My goal was to be home by the time she reached middle school. Well, God granted the desire of my heart because of the wonderful husband I was blessed with (my second marriage). Although I was able to be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) we weren’t even into our first month of school and the bullying began. First by the seventh grader and then by the neighborhood kids. Although she did not want me to defend her, I did – I calmly spoke to the girl who was instigator and made a phone call to the school. In about October, it was evident that I needed to bring my children home ..and homeschool them…for scholastic reasons. Each had a different learning style. One child was way ahead of his grade and they wouldn’t move him up, the other was struggling to stay afloat in a class of thirty children.

Fast forward …my daughter is now a senior. She has done quite well with homeschool. In her sophomore year we elected to let her take some classes at a homeschool school. It is a CHRISTIAN school set up like college. You sign up only for the classed that you want and do the rest at home. All of the parents are committed CHRISTIANS and have reference checks done. Even so, by my daughter’s junior year, the bullying started. They did things to her, they talked about her, they shunned her…and did everything to make her feel uncomfortable. This year, her senior year, it has gotten worse. I tried to get her to go to the principal last year and earlier this year but she refused. This winter was the last straw, We had unkind prank calls, a tire slashed on the car she drives (it’s mine), gossip, and obscenities written over a senior profile done on her in the school newspaper. We told her that this was no longer okay…and we had reached the end and we were going to the principal.

Our meeting with the principal was great! She was sorry and aghast that this was happening to our daughter and told us that if she had come to us in December she would have expelled the ring leader. Now here is the unbelievable part. The bully is an eigth grader who has enough “leadership” skills to hornswaggle older girls including other seniors to bully my daughter. We don’t know if any cyberbullying was involved because our daughter has just gotten a facebook account. It was one of her eighteenth birthday. And although she is eighteen, the rule was that she had to be “friends” with us. If she unfriended us…she would be locked out from FB at home. (We have parental controls).

Measures are now being put in place in this school to protect kids from this bullying, which I am hoping and praying will include cyberbullying. It is now a law here in this state that all schools must put programs in place to educate all students and protect victims. We expect to see these changes implemented over the summer.

As for the bullies…this is the ring-leaders last year in this school. The biggest problem that our principal faces is that the parents REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT THEIR CHILDREN are capable of this type of behavior and defend them to the death. If they believe that it MAY be true…the insist that they must have been provoked. THAT IS THE PART THAT IS INFURIATING TO ME.

The eighth grader…has issues at home. The father believes that the daughter is behaving this way..but is at a loss of what to do next. He’s a single parent. The older daughter is a model student and citizen.

Here are my major points: If you think that homeschoolers don’t suffer this way; think again! Bullies come from all walks of life….including Christian homes. The issue is that these teens don’t know what it means to be a Christian and have not taken responsibility and ownership for their faith. A Christian is to be CHRIST-like. And although we are not perfect…it is incumbent upon us as their parents to monitor what our children are doing. The rule that we have established in our house is that if you “unfriend” us …you lose your FB account. Period. End of Story. All other social programs like “myspace” have been disabled.

My heart goes out to Phoebe’s family and all the other families who have lost thier children to this cyberbullying and bullying in general. I hope that Phoebe’s parents go after the school board…and hold them accountable. It appears it has been an on-going problem with little to nothing done.

Glenn'sbiggestfan

March 30th, 2010
2:37 pm

“As I’ve said before, we need more male teachers in schools. The female teachers just can not stand up to the mean gang like kids, therefore, they say nothing. The bullies not only should be punished, but charged with a misdemeaner. It has to stop somewhere.”

WOW, really?

I was surrounded by a group of boys in 7th grade, as they were grabbing at my body. A gym coach (male) saw what was happening, and when I asked for help he shrugged. You have a right to your opinion, but it isn’t based on ANYTHING. I’ve known many females who risk physical harm to protect children.

You must’ve had a sorry excuse for a mother, Glenn. :(

Jenny

March 30th, 2010
2:43 pm

What horrible little monsters – Karma will come back to get them. That’s all I have to say.

Phoebe Prince Facebook - oSeat

March 30th, 2010
2:47 pm

[...] School, targeting the Irish immigrant in the halls, library and in vicious cell phone text messagePhoebe Prince Facebook – Insults and threats followed 15-year-old Phoebe Prince almost from her first day at South Hadley [...]

Phoebe Prince Facebook | VsCon

March 30th, 2010
2:49 pm

[...] of bullying in school and even in her Facebook account. When I read how Prince was bullied via FaPhoebe Prince Facebook – Phoebe Prince was a 15-year-old student from Ireland, and she was found hanged in her home after [...]

Joan

March 30th, 2010
2:52 pm

I am 32, and am still dealing with low self esteem due to being bullied by the same girls from 1st grade through high school. When changing high schools, people were nice to me. I thought they were fake and feel like my social awkwardness sabotaged relationships. These students deserve jail time. My school was very poor. Teachers stood in doorways and didn’t care that I got pushed down the hallway every day by 6 girls that were all larger than I. I was the youngest, and smallest in the class, and now I realize I was probably the smartest. I have deep-set anger. If I would see any of these girls to this day I would want to beat the crap out of them. The only thing that stopped it is when I had enough, and in an adrenaline rush, I couldn’t stop myself from pushing the girl against the locker. It was like a dream. I was telling myself that the other 5 girls would really beat me, but I couldn’t hold back. This was the girl that repeatedly held the door in the bathroom stall closed so I couldn’t get out unless I crawled through other stalls. Then I had a fear of using the bathroom. I feel like I became a target for other bullies by my demeanor after that. There were at least 10 (mostly girls). I feared telling my parents because the school did nothing when my mom called, and in some cases I thought it got worse. Something needs to be done. There has to be a no tolerance policy. If kids know they can be incarcerated, maybe they won’t do it. Education is key. Educate families that this will not be tolerated. This girl is a beautiful girl.

David S.

March 30th, 2010
2:52 pm

South Hadley students + teachers + administrators = Zero courage.
Not one person at South Hadley High School has courage. Pity.

Kelly

March 30th, 2010
2:53 pm

Mike…rude! How would you like for someone to bully your children into suicide?

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
2:58 pm

Enter your comments here

Joan

March 30th, 2010
2:59 pm

@ “Glenn’sbiggestfan”, The teacher that I was speaking of that would stand in the doorway and watch me get bullied was this HUGELY BUFF male gym and health teacher that did NOTHING.

I was shy and had a fear of telling anyone. I never felt like telling the teacher. I thought things would get worse. Kids need to be educated to feel comfortable talking to someone at school and it being discreet. I was talking about first grade when I was held in a bathroom stall by 2 girls repeatedly. The teacher gave us a group bathroom break every day. As far as I know I only have memories of the bullying at school. I have a hard time remembering anything else about school. I could have had a better education if I wasn’t bullied. A lot of them were not even in my class, and some were from a grade younger than me.

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
3:03 pm

Mike- you are LOST if you think this wasn’t murder- Self-esteem is not something you can beat into a kid, teach or buy. If you don’t realize the impact that words can have on a human being and their ability to destroy, especially an adolescent psyche, you need some serious sensitivity education. Words can murder just like a gun…only slower and much more painfully. Educate yourself, PLEASE!

abused teen

March 30th, 2010
3:03 pm

Some of you people are so defensive that you exude the guilt that comes from being an abuser. It takes real arrogance to take up for someone who has bullied another person and carried the despicable act as a badge of honor. Worse are those sleezes who condone it. No one is mentioning the feeling of entitlement of many who commit this kind of sick act. Just like the “entitled-upstanding businessmen” who prey on children for sex, thinking that no one will believe a child over a prominent businessman, these spoiled brats think that it is a show of macho (even in girls) to do this kind of sick behavior in front of their friends, and then they swagger away to applause. This is what we have taught our children, and they have learned well. NO, it is NOT right to abuse others. Teachers in their bias minds so often protect and coddle the children of the prominent, popular, or wealthy families to feather their nests. I remember so well in my years in school, and it was always just dangerous to be different from the robots of the day, who always wore the “right thing”, or went to the “right church” or lived in the “right area” or drove the “right car”. Take a look at the sleezy tactics of the Republican Party, their death threats, their smear tactics from “if you’re not with us, you’re against us and thus anti-American” (swift-boarding, etc.) and then rationalize that with their claim to Christianity. Same hypocracy that we see in this scenario. The same kind of strategy as them committing adultery and abuse at the same time they were prosecuting Clinton for lying about sex. So what do you expect when those who claim to have a patent on Christianity turn right around and do this kind of thing? It makes one proud to be an independent. The real trash on the schoolground are the ones with bows in their hair and the lastest sneakers who taunt those who can’t afford them. Ask the bible about what God thinks about their hopicritical actions. Jerks, all of them, including the teachers who don’t have the guts to stand up for what is right. It is a crime against humanity, and should be punished.

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March 30th, 2010
3:10 pm

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Peg

March 30th, 2010
3:23 pm

Bullies are usually a product of parents that bully and see nothing wrong with their actions. Parents will defend their children, because they too have the same views and see nothing wrong with it. I think the parents who defend their child as “a good kid, and ment nothing by it, kids will be kids” should be punished with fines (hit them in the pocketbook) and the children should be put in detention centers or prison. I’m sure they will only get a slap on the wrist and told to behave. They should at least get counseling (real counseling) both children, parents & teachers to at least know what they did was wrong and take whatever punishment is due for their actions, or lack there of in the case of the teachers and staff.

Dan

March 30th, 2010
3:31 pm

Another important lesson parents must teach is how not to be bullied. Lets not forget there is an entire spectrum from the biggest bully to the meekest victim. From hangers-on to enablers to supporters and those who fight back. Almost every suggestion here is passive agressive someone should make them stop, this is a nice way to scapegoat. It is hard to compell another to do something either right or wrong so people must control what they can and that would be in part educating the “victims” how to dissuade being bullied, Bullys by definition pick on the weak make yourself not so weak. I am not in anyway trying to blame the vicitm, just suggesting an alternative or symbiotic approach

Guardian Angel

March 30th, 2010
4:10 pm

I wish she had been my child. I bet you…I would have stopped the bullying. I have no children; however, I have two nephews and all they would have to say to me is that someone was bullying them.

I bet you I could stop it!!!!!! These are just stupid, undisciplined children.

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
4:16 pm

@Dan:That’s just plain bogus and implies that all personalities are the same. If that were true- all things wouild be equal , there would be no bullies, just a free-for-0 all. What you have to rrealize is that all children cannot be forced, taught, bullied into, shamed into, or made to be strong enough to stand up to a bigger, meaner, slyer, more forceful person. And since the old “survival of the fittest” is no longer applicable, we have no legitimate reason NOT to PROTECT kids from bullies!!!

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
4:17 pm

correction: free-for-all

tina

March 30th, 2010
4:17 pm

It’s highschool your going to get bullied.Those kids shouldn’t be sent to jail for her emoitonal instability. Also if the bullying was so serious why didn’t her parents who knew it was going on remove her from school, transfer her, or get the police involved? Lets see maybe because it wasn’t really as terrible as Mrs. Scheibel wants you to believe it was. She justs wants her 15 mins of fame and doesn’t care if she has to ruin the lives of nine young people to do it. If you asked everyone in america if they were ever called, a slut, had a terrible nickname, or had some mean girls scribble tuna tina on the bathroom walls and found tuna in thier mail box. They would say yes, well maybe the tunatina thing was just me , but the point is it’s highschool and part of it is getting bullied.

Josey

March 30th, 2010
4:27 pm

I think the profile of the DA pushing these bogus charges says it all:

Elizabeth D. Scheibel – http://www.ndaa.org/ndaa/profile/elizabeth_d_scheibel_march_april_2004.html

“In the fall of 1996 Scheibel, at 40, faced a personal crisis….”

These charges are all about the mentally unstable machinations of a menopausal prosecutor “finding herself” after a life altering event. It’s sad because these 9 kid’s lives are gonna be ruined because of it.

The wise and proper thing would be for the judge to throw these charges out and admonish the DA. Send her packing. Let her go find herself a safe distance from society.

Dan

March 30th, 2010
4:29 pm

Philosopher it is your perception that personalities are the same, not mine, and I didn’t say people shouldn’t protect kids from bullies at all I said in addition to teaching kids not to bully we need to teach them not to be bullied as well. Some kids won’t take to either teaching but taking both approaches is sure to result in more success than either one alone. and quite frankly your approach and most on here are entirely reliant on others to act eschewing self reliance. (which is typical of our current political and educational paths)
Anyone whos only response is for someone else to solve their problems is already a victim. This is where philosophy meets reality

jane

March 30th, 2010
4:37 pm

Tina;
“If you asked everyone in america if they were ever called, a slut, had a terrible nickname, or had some mean girls scribble tuna tina on the bathroom walls and found tuna in thier mail box. They would say yes”

Does that mean that it’s OK? No, it doesn’t.

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
4:42 pm

@tina: following your logic…because lots of men in our society rape women, it’s the woman’s fault when she’s raped if she is unable to fight him off?! RIGHT!

jane

March 30th, 2010
4:43 pm

And Josey, those 9 kids should have thought about the consequences of their actions, not only during, but also after this girl had killed herself .The fact that they continued to mock this poor girl even in death should show even someone like you – that these kids are uncommonly cruel and cold-hearted.

Enya

March 30th, 2010
4:53 pm

i repress my anger because in over 35 years endentured to this triviality i remain offended by this legal system but pray be for this life the stand etudiede

jane

March 30th, 2010
4:53 pm

Josie,

Those 9 kids should have thought aboutf the consequences to their actions not only during but after this girl killed herself. The fact that they continued to mock this poor girl even in death can show (even someone like you) what uncaring, cold-hearted individuals were involved here. This is CLEARLY not just some girl who was being teased at school – these actions were much more sinister. You need to learn some compassion.

Enya

March 30th, 2010
4:53 pm

Quite frankly put they will not leave america again

Enya

March 30th, 2010
4:54 pm

remain yourself i have stated this pubically Enter your comments here

MV

March 30th, 2010
4:55 pm

Ole Guy – you are a complete and total idiot.

mike bohenek

March 30th, 2010
5:00 pm

These comments suggest the varying thoughts and opinions about bullying and the unfortunate death of Phoebe Prince. The truth in the matter is bullying has been around for a very long time. The child bullies usally go unpunished and become abusive adults. These abusive adults are the abusive bosses or the neighbors from hell.
The school administration along with the nine bullies should be held accountable for there actions.in contributing to the death of this young girl, Phoebe Prince. Phoebe was supposed to visit her father in Ireland this month, but this is not what her father had in mind, for his daughter to arrive in a casket.
Maybe, Americans will learn something from this unfortunate incident…

Jessie

March 30th, 2010
5:01 pm

I think that the kids who knew about it should have reported and helped Phoebe out. Also the teachers should have listened and done something about it. It doesn’t matter if your a female or male.

jane

March 30th, 2010
5:01 pm

Josey, those 9 kids should have thought about the consequences to their actions not only during but after this girl killed herself. The fact that they continued to mock this poor girl AFTER she took her own life should show (even you) that they are uncaring, cold-hearted individuals. Clearly this was not just some kids teasing a girl – it was much more sinister than that and these kids WANTED to act cruel, and now they need to own up to it. I think you need to learn some compassion.
(I tried to post this a couple times and it didn’t show up so I apologize if for some reason there is multiple posts that look generally alike)

jane

March 30th, 2010
5:08 pm

Josey, those 9 kids should have thought about the consequences to their actions not only during but after this girl killed herself. The fact that they continued to mock this poor girl AFTER she took her own life should show (even you) that they are uncaring, cold-hearted individuals. Clearly this was not just some kids teasing a girl – it was much more sinister than that and these kids WANTED to act cruel, and now they need to own up to it. I think you need to learn some compassion.

Joel

March 30th, 2010
5:09 pm

You guys are freaking idiots if you think these kids should go to jail. The kids bullied the girl. That is all they did. The girl took her own life. If you really think the 9 bullies deserve to go to jail then every time a high school student bullies another, that student would then have to be incarcerated.

jean

March 30th, 2010
5:12 pm

Josey & Joel those 9 kids should have thought about the consequences to their actions not only during but after this girl killed herself. The fact that they continued to mock this poor girl AFTER she took her own life should show (even you) that they are uncaring, cold-hearted individuals. Clearly this was not just some kids teasing a girl – it was much more sinister than that and these kids WANTED to act cruel, and now they need to own up to it. I think you need to learn some compassion.
(I tried to post this a couple times and it didn’t show up so I apologize if for some reason there is multiple posts that look generally alike)

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
5:19 pm

@ MV: Ole Guy is not an idiot of any sort…but he describes a day and time that no longer exists and probably never has for girls. These are wickedly scary times and kids are not only NOT taught much right and wrong, or held to any standards of honor, but they are daily inundated with violence and vicious behavior on TV and computers. They are mimicking these behaviors in real life and the bullying going on today is NOTHING like what was happening when I was in school. I am totally and completely against violence for any reason other than self-defense…but other people have had experiences I haven’t had that color their actions and beliefs. While I disagree with Ole Guy on many things, I still respect him…I’d bet everything he does is based on a code of honor-nice to know some folks have one. So let’s be civilized and refrain from calling names..it’s bullying, after all! (Bet he can hold his own against any bully, too! :) )

Georgia Teacher

March 30th, 2010
5:35 pm

I, too, was the victim of bullying.

When I was in elementary school, a group of boys decided to pick on me because I was a “Yankee.” I suppose I was since I was born in Athens, GA, but I had moved to a small city in Louisiana and I was an outsider.

My mother taught me never to fight, so I didn’t. I later found out it was a huge source of arguement between her and my father.

Finally, my mother relented and my father was allowed to teach me to fight back. I did. I was not picked on again at that school.

Why? Simple. Bullies are generally cowards and lazy. It is not much fun to pick on someone who fights back.

When I moved to back to Georgia several years later in eighth grade, I became a target again, but I knew what to do. I challenged the chief bully to a fight after school. He broke my nose. I broke his arm. I was never picked on again. Why? I was not easy meat. As my father taught: “It does not matter if you win or lose as long as the guy picking on you feels it in the morning.”

Yes, for boys, violence does solve problems from time to time.

That said, this is how boys deal with problems. Not girls. Quite honestly, girls (and grown women for that matter) can be cruel. I am not sure how a woman deals with that.

Students these days, however, are not allowed to fight back or to stand up to other students. We preach doing the right thing in character education, but we punish those who stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.

In the classroom, I do not tolerate bullying or general disrespect of other students at all.

@Anthony:
Point of fact: There are no “commandos” in the Marines. The only “commandos” in the US military are the Air Commando units in the Air Force. “Commando” is a British term. In the US military, special operations folks are referred to as “operators.” Please, on behalf of all of those who served, get your terminology correct.

Georgia Teacher

March 30th, 2010
5:37 pm

Caught in the filter!

John

March 30th, 2010
5:47 pm

This burns my A__ that anyone could drive someone to do something like this. Not only do those responsible need to be severly punished, but the school officals who were aware of what was going on and did nothing should go to jail for a very long time. How the school is not being charged for failing to stop Phoebe Prince’s harassment and resulting in her death is a crime. That’s part of what is wrong with this country! All of these people need to be held responsible and send a message to everyone so that this will not ever happen again. God rest her soul. I hope those spineless people who drove her to kill herself pay dearly. They are cowards!

Ole Guy

March 30th, 2010
6:28 pm

MV, based on your “indepth” comment, I seriously doubt you possess the intelect to contribute any but the most superficial comments. Furthermore, I am willing to bet that your sense of humanity is so lacking as to post any socialy redeeming thoughts on this tragedy. Rather than go into the “sticks n’ stones” thing, for you, sir, I will go straight to the issue…GFY!

Philo, your observations should reverberate throughout the readership…by participating, we all AGREE TO DISAGREE.

There are many who feel that jail time for these bullies would be inappropriate. While they caused her death, I believe there was also rape involved. As far as I’m concerned, these kids, regardless of their ages, are completely beyond redemption. Like many of this generation, they have been steeped with endless second chances. Their only usefulness to mankind is cracking rocks and making license plates. Left to my devices, I would hang every one of em.

Joseph Allard

March 30th, 2010
6:48 pm

Perhaps these teens need to spend the rest of their natural life in prison where bullying is the norm. See how they like it. Or, at the very least their parents need to be charged as well, for raising unruly kids.

TS-4525

March 30th, 2010
6:51 pm

This reminds me of a similar case in California involving a boy. He moved to California from the East Coast where he was a popular athlete. In his California high school he didn’t fit in and was tormented to the point where he broke and brought a gun to school and shot several students and himself. I wonder if Phoebe had been a boy if the outcome would have been different? Typically bullies are popular and well liked by school staff and put on a good front for everyone. That is why it is even more important to listen to complaints of bullying and create a safe environment for kids to report such actions. When schools have a zero tolerance to bullying things can change.

Feeling for Phoebe

March 30th, 2010
6:54 pm

@Josey – please leave your “enlightening” words of wisdom and thought provoking analysis about the mental state of the DA for your myspace audience where it will perhaps be, frighteningly enough, more appreciated.

@Joel – and you’re a friggin idiot if you think all these “kids” did was bully this girl. They ganged up on her, they stalked her, they harassed her, they raped her and they blatantly terrorized her both online and in front of school officials. They planned their attack, struck where it would do the most damage and even celebrated when it was over. They are no different than the terrorists who bombed our country on 9/11.

These “kids” ruined Phoebe’s life and in doing so their own lives. Now they have to pay the consequences. I hope Massachusettes reinstates the death penalty and makes examples out of all of them.

sandee

March 30th, 2010
6:58 pm

Well I think that bullies don’t have a life these days, they need to find something to do, instead of bullyin ppl, and its the parents fault that they are bullying bcuz the parents didn’t teach them any manners or respect, and if ppl want respect they have to earn it

Jose

March 30th, 2010
7:06 pm

Taxpayers should not shoulder their lifetime imprisonment expenses for a long time, if ever they will be convicted. They need to be “outsource” for only 3-days or less to an Asian prison camp where their butt will be whacked for good so they will understand what “bullying” is all about.

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
7:10 pm

@Josey: I am curious why you think these thugs, with what is known about their bullying and raping of this young girl, should go skipping merrily on their way. Really, seriously, on what do you base such an attitude? Personal behaviors, perhaps? Is bullying part of your repertoir? I can’t think of ANY rational excuse in the world to let these kids go unpunished or to condone or support them in their heinous crimes…not a single one!

Wait, hold on...

March 30th, 2010
7:18 pm

When did we reach the point where multiple sexual assaults are deemed “bullying”?

bootney farnsworth

March 30th, 2010
7:26 pm

@ Josey & Mike

was she asking for it?
did she get what she deserved?

should we give these predators medals for removing
someone not up to your standards from the gene pool?

bootney farnsworth

March 30th, 2010
7:27 pm

I am curious what her parents did or didn’t do while this was occuring.
what did they know, and when did they know it.

bootney farnsworth

March 30th, 2010
7:29 pm

@ Joel

so we should just ignore the rape bit?
chalk it up to boys will be boys?

Dr Golden

March 30th, 2010
7:48 pm

You all have posted so many opinions about these kids being prosecuted, but the real crime here is rooted in this question, “Where was your father Phoebe?” If something happened to my daughter a first time, i go to the school. If something happens a second time, i go to the bullies parents. If something happens a third time. I stop it myself by ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
I read EVERY comment on this post and Not one of u asked the question. Where is her father? SAD sad story, of course, but no Man stepped in, and that is what was needed most of all. Boys fight in playgrounds, i hope that never ends. My friends fought with me too. Some of em still do.
Prosecution? I think not. They are all suffering now and will for life. That’s punishment enough.

Dr Golden

March 30th, 2010
7:50 pm

In regards to the rape, which was probably the most instrumental cause of the suicide, that boy or boys should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Phoebe Prince Facebook Comments | VsCon

March 30th, 2010
8:07 pm

Phoebe Prince Facebook Comments - Keada

March 30th, 2010
8:40 pm

[...] Prince hanged herself in January. Authorities say she endured months of verbal assaults and threatsPhoebe Prince Facebook Comments – Barbara Coloroso said she consulted with parents and administrators months before 15-year-old [...]

magi

March 30th, 2010
8:41 pm

I first read about Phoebe’s suicide last month. The problem arose when a boy one of the bullies was interested in took an interest in Phoebe. The article indicated that little was done to her abusers because the school is in an upscale community where the parents have quite a bit of influence in the school and community. It was later reported on the same web site, True Crime Report, that a few of the students were expelled. IMHO, this is a good move on the part of the prosecutor. That it had to get to the point where Phoebe killed herself is the most painful aspect of this situation for me.

magi

March 30th, 2010
8:45 pm

Dr. Golden,
Although it was not stated in this post, BOTH of Phoebe’s parents moved to Pennsylvania from Ireland, and IIRC, one of them was already an American citizen.

Joe Public

March 30th, 2010
8:59 pm

Where were the parents of this girl during all of this? Also, it seems to me that she decided to have sex with one of the other girls’ ex-bf’s…. and then with another guy… she really should have been more closed-legs IMHO…. however, that is definitely not a reason to harass and bully her… though that stuff happens anytime you have social relationship conflicts between little boys and girls.. hell, it happens with adults and usually ends up with someone dead… not by hanging though…..

Philosopher

March 30th, 2010
9:45 pm

Joe Public: Whether it was rape or consensual, the girl did not seserve what happened to her. Your words and attitude are absolutely disgusting! It is attitudes such as yours that perpetuate the behaviors that these kids engaged in!

Phoebe Prince Facebook Comments - oSeat

March 30th, 2010
9:53 pm

[...] Leave a comment Go to comments. Phoebe Prince, South Hadley High School's 'new girl,' driven to suicPhoebe Prince Facebook Comments – Atheist and Catholic School Bullies and Stalkers Rejoice In Murdering Teens. March 30, 2010 [...]

Michelle

March 30th, 2010
10:16 pm

When are we as a society going to realize that “ALL” people have a GOD-given and inherent right to be at PEACE!!! No, not the peace that this young girl felt to be her only escape, but the peace of feeling/being safe, secure, protected from Abuse & Abusive persons {YES, THIS INCLUDES THESE MONSTEROUS BULLY-KIDS}. Personally, I would love to know that these PREDATORS were Extremely-bullied themselves before, during, & after life-long PRISON-TERMS. I mean Natural-life, They took one, they should have to give one!!! God, forbid these inhumane creatures be given the opportunity to have children themselves, {I Pray their children will not have to pay the price for their parents having been so ill-prepared to be HUMAN}!!! GOD, BLESS Phoebe’s Family/Friends & Loved One’s & Hold & Keep HER, ETERNALLY, SAFE, SECURE, & VERY MUCH at PEACE!!!!!!!!!!

Alphagrl

March 30th, 2010
10:17 pm

I realize bullying has been around forever. Bullies have very few brain cells and it is empowering to these types to pick on those who are, in their minds, vulnerable and/or different. One bully is bad enough, now we have group bullying, or tag team bullying.
I was the girl in school who defended the kids that the bullies tormented. Why, because I was taught, from a very young age, to be a critical, independent thinker and to respect everyone, until I had a good reason not to. Obviously, the bullies weren’t given the appropriate tools to respect themselves, or maybe they weren’t given the genetics to communicate effectively, so they externalize, hurting others. That’s just wrong!!! I LOATHE BULLIES AND IGNORANCE!!! They’re not mutually exclusive. Worst emotion I’m having when reading about this is, the way I want to smash the skulls in of these 9 kids who did this…can’t believe they’re able to evoke such rage in me. I truly hope the legal system works and that these kids, not only pay for their actions/behavior, but that they are able to be cured. There is no room on earth for this kind of behavior from human to human.
My sincere thoughts to the families involved in this, especially to Phoebe’s family…so sorry for their loss.

mother

March 30th, 2010
10:24 pm

@ Ole Guy – please Go Away.
If a parent goes to administrator and says their child is being bullied, they better start paying attention. I know first hand that administrators often do not care enough to do anything. I know a lot of parents who run into administrators who feel Kids will be Kids, which is far from the truth. It seems these days bullying has become more vicious and vile and bullies often become tomorrows felons. Shame on any administrator who ignores this problem. They should be charged with accessory to the crime – but you know what – they are all immune and above the law in a lot of instances

Aamina

March 31st, 2010
12:17 am

Most of you are forgetting- in many other articles there is more information given about the victim and her family, and the overall situation.
1) they recently moved from Ireland- hmm, you think Phoebe P. had tons of friends to support her?
2) [dr. golden] her mother complained to the school twice about her daughters distress–> meaning the school failed to respond- a little to late are we?
3) These 9 kids couldnt care less about Phoebe’s death- on the note of this discovery they showed no signs of remorse.

You can point your fingers to the parents— but lets think about this for a second, more specifically lets take a look at the average citizen in America.

Yes, parents tend to neglect their childs need, many of them do grow up raised by media— but is this intentional? Do they do it “INTENTIONALLY”?-
Consider: The average American parent(s) IS BUSTING THEIR *** WORKING HARD TO KEEP THEIR JOBS, WORKING HARD BY WORKING OVERTIME, SACRIFICING THEIR TIME WITH FAMILY IN ORDER TO KEEP THEIR HOMES and FAMILIES FUNCTIONAL. Reality is they don’t get too much time with their children- they depend on schools to help mold them. After all, a school is a second home for several kids.

She [ the mother ] made a few attempts with the school— my concern lies with school staff— what the f were they doing when the student body was posting and sending pictures of her throughtout the school, facebook, and myspace ? they admitted they knew—then why did they not kick it.

You all are getting carried away on the subject at hand by analyizing parenting methods ( the deed is done, a death was a result—whats the next step America. Should we wait for a few more kids to hang themselves or blow of their heads and continue to be ignorant fools?

I agree with PHILOSOPHER: he exerted that regardless of parenting and bully prevention programs some kids are simply just sensitive to the bullying—they can’t “handle” it or “let go” as easily as others can— and it is absolutely understandable that they should not have to- if anything the school needs to work on their communication with student body- teacher-student relations so kids have a authority figure; to let their voice be heard- and that it is not so hard for them to do so.

Aamina

March 31st, 2010
12:26 am

these teenagers got the charges they deserved ( after careful considerations in court and much research-the court came to a legit verdict) – and let it be a lesson to all- damaging the human soul so severely is unjust and immoral.

Aamina

March 31st, 2010
12:36 am

her social life should not be an issue.
although my concern does lie with the fact that one of the teenagers was charged with sat rape–meaning this is not the heinous form of “rape” as many of u may understand it to be; im pretty sure that Phoebo did consent to engaging in sex with this 18 year old boy senior boy— my opinion for his charge means he must of sent around dirty pics of her, or abused her image with their sexual acts one way or another and that is why he got charged—in which I agree with charges.

it doesnt matter if one choose to engage in sexual activity at a young age– this is something new- the fact is that she didnt deserve to be abused in the manner she was. Suicide should not be an option for children- they should be given the opportunity –> help-.

Aamina

March 31st, 2010
12:38 am

chose* and not something new***

Ole Guy

March 31st, 2010
1:36 am

Mom, you will find no arguements from me; I agree wholeheartedly with every word you write, and with every thought, I presume, is behind those words. I do often express myself, both in writing and by speech, in what may gently be viewed as devoid of pc strictures. If this annoys you, I sincerely appologize. However, the only way you will save your eyes from having to cast upon my words will be to either ignore Ole Guy comments or don’t participate in this blog series…have a great day, Mom!

Roxy

March 31st, 2010
6:01 am

Bullies learn how to be so from home, from their bully PARENTS! Too many wacko parents try to bully their way around the teachers and administrators. The kids learn how to bully from Mommy and Daddy’s example.

Joel

March 31st, 2010
7:50 am

Guys, if the bullying was SO bad shouldn’t the parents have done something about it by now? Shouldn’t they have pulled her out of school or something? Also, let’s clear something up; one of these boys had a prior conviction of STUATORY RAPE. None of these boy held any body down and raped them they simply had sex with an under aged girl a few months ago. I think we need to blame this on bad parenting for not taking care of the problem before their child did!

Joel

March 31st, 2010
8:13 am

Also a 18 year old guy can be arrested for having sex with a 17 year and ll month old girl if the parents are mad enough about it. I know it is wrong to bully, but jail? Alot of teens commit suicide these days and alot of times it is because they feel rejected by their father or another family member. Like this case, I know it is wrong to walk out on your family but if she commits suicide is the father now responsible?

Ash

March 31st, 2010
2:02 pm

This is to those of you who believe that Phoebe is at fault, and should have done something to defend herself:

Do you honestly believe, that one girl against many could protect herself against the harassment of her classmates? No. You’re very ignorant for believing that it would be that simple. I was bullied in high school. Constantly. I’m still bullied and I’m in college. What did I do wrong? I was smart, quiet, and would rather spend my time reading and studying instead of partying. Let me tell you something, I tried to defend myself. But there is only so much one can do in the face of a death threat. It probably wasn’t simple for Phoebe either. People ganged up on her. It wasn’t just one person she could punch and that be the end of it. What is punching someone going to solve anyway? It’s definitely not going to prove that you’re the bigger person. It’s just immature. Even if she had tried to fight, she would have probably gotten her butt kicked by the GROUP of bullies. And then gotten in trouble for starting a fight in the first place. I’m certain that she probably attempted to defend herself in some way. And obviously her mother did by going to the school administration who did nothing. From there, there is not much more you can do. I feel so horribly for this poor girl and her family. I know what it’s like to feel that there is no way out. Kids in high school can be extremely cruel…more so than any other place I’ve encountered. For people to pick on her and abuse her in such a manner is just plain inexcusable. And the people commenting on how she’s to blame, you make me sick. These kids deserve to be punished. They deserve to have to do time for the crimes they have committed. This isn’t something to take lightly. A girl lost her life. She was important to someone, and loved. I never met this girl, and she still means something to me. I was never able to understand how people could do so much to intentionally hurt someone. When words are used maliciously, and posted online or sent through mass text, they can be extremely painful. A young girl who is in the process of trying to figure out who she is, does not deserve that kind of harsh treatment. No one does. Every single person on this Earth deserves to be treated fairly and with some sort of respect. As soon as that boundary is crossed, you’re wrong. Of course it’s irrational to think that you’re going to like everyone and get along with them. But that in no way acts as an excuse to abuse someone simply for your own satisfaction. Put yourself in Phoebe’s shoes. What would you have done? How would you have reacted? Maybe not in the same way, but I think it’s safe to assume that most people would feel pretty horribly about themselves after being treated in such a manner.

Bailee

March 31st, 2010
3:43 pm

Personaly at the age of 15 in public high school i must say.
this is not bullying!
this is alot more. to me a bully is someone who pushes you down in the hall way. not someone who makes you want to die. were all weriod when were kids, just relise that it might not have been all of there faults

Hoop

March 31st, 2010
4:40 pm

School are supposed to be orderly, and that order is to be kept by adults. When the adults stop doing anything they are putting the inmates in charge of the asylum.

Is it any wonder that these “bullying” cases are followed by testimony from parents, teachers, and other authorities who say “well I told so-and-so” or “what am I supposed to do about it?”

Brian Goss

March 31st, 2010
4:49 pm

The poor girls blood is on the hands of the administrators and faculty members who ignored the problem. If the school had put half as much effort into preventing the bullying than it has invested in making the victim be the guilty person – none of this would have happened.

The principle cried at a town meeting last night because he got to keep his job. Probably the only time he cried since the suicide happened.

I hold all those faculty members who knew what was happening but ignored it and all the administrators in the utmost of contempt. They are liars and should have been prosecuted. Unfortunately, Massachuesetts law prevents them or the school district from being sued but hopefully their names will be published. At a minimum, may God crush them with guilt until it’s their time to go to hell for eternity!

Parent7

March 31st, 2010
4:49 pm

Why didn’t the school have an anti-bullying program in place before she got there? This is not brain surgery, these programs have existed for years. With such a program, teachers are encouraged to report children — for the safety of *both* the children who are bullied, and those who do the bullying.

Those who bully are indeed ruining their own lives, though, sadly, to them, they may be gaining thrills in the moment. Both the bullies and the bulliers need to be protected from this cycle.

Even if your local schools haven’t had a tragedy like this, it’s time to find out if they have an anti-bullying program in place or not. In a good school system, children begin to learn that this behavior is not acceptable *in kindergarten*, with age-appropriate curriculum every year.

Bob

March 31st, 2010
5:08 pm

RoadToad: I’m thinking that if you’ve been “forced” out of two jobs, and now have fellow employees that are angry enough to threaten to “kick your ass”, then maybe, just maybe, you ARE the problem! You say you are 50 yo? Well, I’m 70+ and never had any such issues in any of my jobs. People I didn’t like, or couldn’t get along with very well? Of course, that’s part of life. But if they perceive you as such an odious presence that they force you out of your job, you may have some soul-searching to do!
:

Phoebe Prince Story - Keada

March 31st, 2010
5:10 pm

Phoebe Prince Story - oSeat

March 31st, 2010
5:27 pm

[...] students, in person and online. The bullying was so horrific that she took her own life. This storyPhoebe Prince Story – Phoebe Prince was a 15-year-old girl in Western Massachusetts who was mercilessly bullied by [...]

You Asked

March 31st, 2010
5:29 pm

A generation of kids now raised by people other than their parents (day care, school, after school day care) are now well equiped to keep their bullying and bad behavior under the radar of what school officials can do legally to address the issues of non-civil behavior. The kids who don’t learn the rules in the new “lord of the flys” world are the victims.

My oldest got brought up on terrorism charges by a group of students in Jr High who thought it would be funny to tell stories and get 36 classmates expelled. It worked even though the allegations were false and most of the accused students (unpopular and nerdy kids who were made to look like potential columbine murderers by the spineless administration) had to defend themselves in court or plea no contest to a misdemeanor to avoid a lengthy trial.

At least years later after high school some of the bullies had grown up and apologized to my son when they realized he was one of their victims.

The bullies are sophisticated and organized. They don’t play fair.

Ole Guy

March 31st, 2010
9:05 pm

Well-put, Bob…I feel bad for the Toad, however, many of the problems we face in life are, ultimately, of our own design.

We are obliged to contend with bullies at every corner in life: the schools, sadly, the home, and, even as adults, in the work place. Many, because of insecurities, or any number of circumstances, never learn to appropriately deal with this type personality. However…and I hope Toad takes note…it’s never too late to learn. Bob, your suggestion should be step #1…soul search. Know yourself, Toad, your values, strengths and weaknesses. While it is certainly not appropriate…nor legal…for a mid-aged adult to handle a bully as a kid might, it is, nonetheless, doable. Know your adversary (not necessarily personaly, but rather the human nature of the bully), but first and foremost, know yourself; knowing yourself, be confident in who and what you have discovered.

Life is too short, Toad. Illegitimi non Carborundum…Don’t Let The Bastards Wear You Down!

Emily

April 1st, 2010
8:11 am

What a shame… she was such a pretty girl. I can’t imagine how her bullies must feel.

poligney

April 1st, 2010
8:37 am

How sad that the adults at her school were aware of this abuse and did nothing. If some of these abusers had been given detentions or otherwise called to account for their actions, that girl might be alive today. I think those teachers should be held accountable for their inaction, they have a responcibility to all the students.

dds

April 1st, 2010
8:46 am

My mother has this saying “It’s the choices we make”, which makes me think before acting. So, the choices these kids made will affect everyone. Our children need to know they can’t do whatever they want when they want. More parents need to acknowledge when their children do wrong rather than justify what they’ve done. There’s always excuses and everything is an accident, yeah, whatever. We need to pay more attention to our kids so we know what’s going on. If i go to the school with continuous problems concerning my children and they do nothing, I would be the school’s, the bullies and their parents problem. If I don’t protect my children, who will? Not the judicial system. I’m a firm believer in you get what you give, so I guess I’ll get what i give. Is it worth it? Hell yes, especially when it comes to my children. Get it together people. These children will be taking care of us in 30 yrs and running our country. We think we’re in trouble now, just wait.

Ole Guy

April 1st, 2010
10:12 am

MV, your “stabing” remark of my being “a complete and total idiot” needs some clarification. I am quite certain the good readers would respect the author of such statements if said author had the guts and intelect to express thoughts as an adult and not as a child.

Unfortunately, it is adults (I presume you are an adult), like you, who provide none but the most superficial support and guidance to kids…if that. The Phoebes of the world receive no help from parents who, LIKE YOU, express themselves no better to those they perportedly love than they do to the outside world. Consequently, with no one, from neither home nor school, to speak with , and to offer understanding, they feel alone in this world and deal with their problems in a most tragic way.

You, MV, and people like you, make me wanna vomit with disgust.

Marcus Brainard

April 1st, 2010
3:38 pm

The death of Phoebe Cates isn’t new and things like this ends up with either the victim kills himself/herself or sends a band of mercenaries to turn there school into “Hiroshima, 1945″. People still haven’t learn there lesson, but at a local Jr. High School on June 4, 1971 an event happened. A Senior Student party was transformed into a “Pearl Harbor” like attack when three groups took on 1,500 Senior Students and teacher alike and and left 1/3 dead & almost destoryed the school. Where was the police? They were sent to aid people affected by poisonous toxic gas on the opposite of town when a train derailed with poison nerve gas & The fire department was handling a 4 alarm fire on another side of town. The reason for this: The so-called victim was an admitted, 15 year old male virgin & that in that middle school was worse than being Charles Starkweather or the men who bombed a black church in Birmingham in September, 1963. It seemed nobody learned there lessons at “Denton” or “Columbine” or Virginia Tech. Also nobody didn’t give a damn when a student named Ralph Weiner jumped into the Moody River back in 1971 either. History repeats itself. Marcus Brainard

Marcus Brainard

April 1st, 2010
3:51 pm

What happened to Phoebe Prince is not new. Back in the 1950s in Lincoln, NE. there was this short, near-sighted, bowlegged kid with a speech impairment similar to Daffy Duck & he evolved into a spree-killer and paid the price for killing 11 people. His name: Charles Raymond Starkweather. However for people like Ms. Prince they either kill themselves or find a mercenaries to do their work for them and turn there school into “Hiroshima, 6.8.1945″. Nobody didn’t do there job in that school or Ms. Prince’s community. At least they will not feel with wrath of God her avengers come to destory the school. Back in 1971, a middle school had a senior students’ party and at 12:00 N three groups came and took the party and students learned a crash course on “Tora, Tora, Tora.” 1,500 students and teachers faced the three groups and 1/3 of the students and teachers were wiped out. The reason: They hassaled a student for being an admitted male virgin & that was worse than being Charles Starkweather or the men who bombed a black church in Birmingham, Alabama in September, 1963. It seems nobody learned there lessons from “Denton, 1971″, Columbine, 1999 & Virginia Tech, 2007. Foe now the people who ran Ms. Prince’s school will do the “See No Evil, Hear No Evil & Speak No Evil” about Ms. Prince’s case. For now a nice girl is gone. Who’s gonna be next, another disgruntled student who has connection with mercenaries? So that’s it for now. Marcus Brainard

Philosopher

April 1st, 2010
4:42 pm

@ Hoop: You said it best, I believe-Schools are supposed to be orderly, and that order is to be kept by adults. When the adults stop doing anything they are putting the inmates in charge of the asylum.
There IS no way to stand up against the terrorism that PHoebe faced each day-she was out-numbered, out- manuevered, and had absolutely NO ammunition against these vicious brats. So the whole argument about teaching kids to defend themselves against bullying has absolutely NO place in this discussion. These kids are evil, wicked animals and the teachers and administrators who were aware and did nothing are absolutely complicit in the crime.

Connie

April 2nd, 2010
2:07 am

I was bullied through most of my school years, not months, YEARS. Rumors, personal property destroyed, being ousted from the group, etc…OH, and I dealt with Bipolar I. All of which placed me at high risk for suicide. And I thought about it a lot. But, if I did, it would be nobody’s fault, but my own. This girl needed help, but not the kind that would make everybody be nice to her. She would have benefited from the kind of help that showed her how to be in charge of her life, and how to handle three MONTHS of abuse. Do you really think that making these kids be nice, would have helped her when the next group of mean kids came along?

Everybody needs to stop looking for somebody to blame. Kids have always been cruel, had bad breakups, been ‘victims’ of statutory rape and made threats to beat up somebody after school.

We are not helping the victims by making everybody else be nice.

Cindy

April 2nd, 2010
11:16 pm

Feel sorry for the kids that tortured this girl…not one single bit. “Ruin their lives” by prosecuting them and putting them in jail, ah, it was they that ruined their lives. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. The laws are in place, and if they were violated, well, that is it. Seriously, I thank this DA for taking this gang, and that is what they are, a gang, out of society. Just toss them into the slammer and throw away the key, and anyone that defends them, toss you in too.

Silentbob

April 3rd, 2010
12:26 am

I truly feel for Pheobe’s family. This is a terrible thing and should have never happened. I know there is a lot of arguing in here, and I’m not going to repost and defend or condemn anything said in response to my opinion. We need to start teaching our children not only how to defend themselves, but why it is important to stand up for others. It’s called compassion and empathy. It’s called being strong willed and independent. It’s called thinking for yourself and knowing self-value. I’m sure Phoebe had all of these things until she was beaten into despair. If someone would have stood up for her when the school officials and staff wouldn’t, this possibly could have been avoided. The way we delt with bullying in my school: We weren’t in clicks, we rolled in packs. We stood up for our friends and we always had each others backs. Over time, everyone realized there was no point in pushing someone around because their 12 friends would be there to take over. I’m not saying gangs are a good thing, but they sure do help when you’re in a bind. Phoebe could have used a gang of loyal and decent people to stand up for her. It just goes to show how desensitized our youth have become, there is no care or sense of justice anymore. That is what needs to change. Teach your kids to become friends with the kids who get picked on! Teach your kids what it means to be an American! To fight and defend the freedom of those who are being oppressed!

Elise

April 3rd, 2010
2:26 am

While I believe that action should most definitely be taken to ensure that these bullies realize the wrongs of their actions, and while they should surely be given community service and perhaps a long stay in alternative school, I do not believe that they should be expelled. For several reason. The first being, they are children. Cruel, irresponsible, careless jerks, maybe, but children. There is no evidence that Miss Prince didn’t fight back, or even instigate an argument, after all. Even Prince may have been cruel at times to someone or another. Why? Because they are children. All children, just as all adults, have bits of cruelty in them. It is human. It should be punished and dragged out, if possible. But ruining their futures, because Prince decided to take her own, is not the right thing to do.
The second reason I have to disagree with any hard action against the students is proof that there was no other reason. There is no proof. If they are going to take action against the students, then they must look into any and all aspects that may have given Prince any discomfort, and destroy those too. Did her parents yell at her recently? Did her sister call her any names, or hit her? Siblings fight, does that count?
And as for prosecuting the district and teachers, her parents really should be punished if they are going to even try and go there. It isn’t like the parents took any action to secure their childs wellbeing. They didnt pull her out of school when it got too bad. They didnt insist that action be taken. They didnt do anything for their daughter, and now, in the wake of her death, they suddenly step up to defend her? That is questionable to me.
As for Phoebe herself, while I pity her and wish, as I’m sure everyone does, that I could have been there to give a word of comfort and try to stop her, I believe she successfully killed herself all on her own, without any help from bullies. She could have done more to prevent the attacks. She could have not gotten on facebook. I’m a sixteen year old girl, with a cell phone, and plenty of friends, and when someone attacks me on facebook or myspace, I block them. Simple as that. If someone harrasses me at school, I make sure it doesnt happen again-by whatever means neccessary. She had options. She put no effort into exploring those options, and so she killed herself in every way shape and form. Noone but Phoebe is to blame for her death, that is what suicide is, it is taking the blame for someone elses mistakes. It is murder. If she had lived and fought, then maybe she would have a case to get these girls expelled. Hell, if she had even fought AND THEN killed herself, that would be something. She didn’t even try to stop them, and so they had no way to change, to become aware of their evils, before she died. Until they are given a second chance, I will not be able to completely pity Phoebe Prince with all my heart.
She’s left a mess in her wake, and that is fair to noone. Especially not the families of the TEENAGE girls, of these KIDS, she’s left behind.

Elise

April 3rd, 2010
2:34 am

I didn’t mention, however, that in the case that physical violence or worse, rape, came into the mix, I would have to agree with so many others: The students should be put in jail, all of them, for years, several years. There is no age limit for physical aggression. Words are words, you can ignore words, you can ignore facebook comments. You can even handle a can being thrown at your head (I managed to handle having an entire bucket of water tossed over my head at a school picnic). You would be hard pressed to ignore a fist punching you in the face, or being a victim of rape. Those are much harder to be passive about. I still know many rape victims who have come out alive, and everyone knows someone who’s been beat up a couple of times, but there’s no excuse. Bullying is one thing, and I think a good few months in alternative school -with a death on your conscience- would cover it. But phsyically harming someone is beyong bullying, that is beyond the walls of a high school, that is in the realm of everyone out there who requires such hard justice. I defend the students to everyone I happen to have this discussion with, and I will defend them until I hear for certain that there was a rape involved: Then I will throw them to the dogs, or lions, or horny jailmates, whichever is legally thought to be acceptable.
(I believe repeated sex offenders should be given the death penalty. I’m quite Texan.)

In my opinion,

April 3rd, 2010
3:20 am

Cindy. If you ever, EVER, made fun of anyone, even once, in your life, I hope you go and turn yourself in. I don’t have to know you to know what a hypocrite you are for your statement.
I will defend those students.
To a certain extent, of course. They are horrible little rats, albeit, but they are horrible teenage rats, and should not be given the blame in a situation where not even Phoebe’s parents cared/knew what was happening. No one did a single thing to defuse the situation, not even Phoebe herself! She alone is responsible for her death, no one else. I wish I couldn’t say that, but it is what I believe. She could have reached out, she could have asked for help. With no one, not even their victim, to show them any discipline, how could those students have seen the error in their ways? Common decency? Yea, they should have had common decency, I agree. But expulsion, or jail time, is too hard of a punishment for children who were not given fair warning.
If they are going to throw those kids in jail, then they can throw me, every other child in the world, and every other ADULT in the world, in with them. We have all committed some type of bullying. The difference between us and them? We either had more time to overcome our cruelty and grow out of it, or we were punished accordingly and came to the realization of our wrongs. These kids were not given those opportunities and therefore we have no right to condemn them. It could just as easily have been any other bullied child in the world, even one that you bullied yourself, Cindy. It was not the bullies, but Phoebe, who committed the ultimate crime.
Who knows when something you say is going to make some mentally instable person go off the deep end? Yea, you should give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they are psycho and sensitive, and just be a universally nice person (wouldn’t that be a great world?). I agree that those kids are assholes for tormenting her, and it seems, from the information given, that it was totally random and unnecessary. But they didn’t necessarily know that she was so depressed, she obviously didn’t let on to anyone, not even her own family.
So, Cindy, if you think no one deserves a second chance -ever- then just go to the cops and turn yourself in for a lifetime imprisonment. You’ve probably done a thousand things worthy, or at least deemed worthy by your relentless, selfish morals. You must hate the world, for we’ve all bullied someone. And you must hate yourself, because I’m sure you have too.
Phoebe has my pity and my prayers, but she died without even a fight. How can you respect someone who put themselves down so easily? It’s not even as if she was literally fighting for her life, as many do, in dark alleys or dim lit parking lots. There are kids with fatal illnesses, fighting day after day, with not school children, but death himself as their tormentor, and they wouldn’t dream of taking their lives when they’ve spent years fighting to keep them! Those kids would have heart attacks hearing about Phoebe Prince’s selfish demise! She left the earth without even giving the alternatives a shot. She has no respect coming from me. Only prayers that her soul reach whatever bliss comes after this life, if any.
By the way, you can go ahead and mentally toss me into the slammer if you like. I would go to jail for what I believe in. I would defend and adhere to my morals no matter what! A person like you, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have much honor. If you did possess any self-respect, you wouldn’t have been able to type that comment. You would be in jail, serving time. If you’re going to have such strict beliefs, then at least honor them yourself before preaching to anyone else.

Nopeee

April 3rd, 2010
4:12 am

I agree with In My Opinion. I am a sixteen year old girl. So for everyone who is claiming to be a parent and to have seen what’s happened to their child, here’s another perspective. I must say I’m a bit closer to the situation than some. I am in these situations all the time, every day.
I have gone farther than having a can thrown at my head. I’ve had my face punched -the girl was suspended and keeps away from me now. Because I made sure that she was suspended. Because we kids have the power to do that. Phoebe had the power to do that. No one can say that she didn’t, she absolutely did. It’s crap to say that she couldn’t tell anyone, or no one cared. Someone would have cared, she obviously didn’t care about her own life enough to try hard enough. That part of it is not anyone’s fault but her own.- I’ve also had AXE sprayed in my eyes by a male student. I didn’t tell on him, because I managed to rinse it out and I handled the situation on my own, without involving suicide, or school officials. I’ve been called names galore. Not to seem conceited, but I am also fairly attractive, and I’d wager to say any halfway decent looking girl our age is sure to be called a slut every once and a while for being a threat to others our age. That word, though it should be a big deal, has become common language amongst us. Some may say that I am one of the many horrible kids of my generation for thinking that it’s common to say Slut. Maybe I am desensitized to it. But I am glad that I am. Words are words, and I would never let words be the death of me. There is no excuse to kill yourself over words.
But maybe my meager bullying stories aren’t enough to compare with Phoebe’s. Obviously what happened to her was pretty bad, less physical than what happened to me, but maybe more harmful overall. I, personally, only know one other person who was bullied worse than Phoebe, and I live her pain as if it is my own. My sister, unfortunately destined to always be overweight, had it much worse off when she was our age. The cruelty was unspeakable at some times. Out of respect for my sister, I wouldn’t mention the worst things. However, there were instances when she was publicly humiliated in front of hundreds of eyes in the cafeteria -a tray tossed to the floor. A trip executed by a cheerleader. A shove from an ex-friend. A series of put downs and humiliating jokes, that caused the whole cafeteria to erupt with laughter. Things that caused my sister to be homeschooled for a year, to be put in the hospital with tummy issues for months- Tummy issues? Yes, tummy issues. They were created by her mind, according to a therapist. My sisters mind literally made her sick to her stomach, seriously ill, because of the amount of pain her tormentors caused.
And the insults, the endless insults, went beyond ‘Irish slut’, the insults to my sister were usually of the realm such as ‘Fat Fugly Useless Pile of Lard Spick!’. Spick because we are Hispanic. Racial slurs are also common. The bullying to my sister was physical, sexual, mental, every kind of harsh. She was anorexic, bulimic, depressed, violent, hateful, vengeful, I watched it all as a child. And yet, never once did she give up. She, too, turned in her bullies, and when that didn’t work she even worked to befriend them or calm them in some cases. She was tormented for years upon years, and I believe those kids were evil in their own way, but not inhuman. They were not completely hopeless, even at their worst, which was nastier than what I’ve read about Phoebe’s bullies.
Those are my stories, parents, in response to yours of your children. I present my sister as my example, and I do so not to condemn the students in the Phoebe Prince case, but to defend them.
My overall verdict, however insignificant, is to punish, but not to ruin lives. For now my sister is twenty, and she sees the ghosts of her past all over the city. She sees her old tormentors, and they APOLOGIZE, and they REPENT, and they try to make good on their old wrongs. They have grown, and with that time, they have become -if not good people- normal people. As good as you or I, at least. And even now, after only three years since that boy sprayed me with the Axe, now that he and I are in the tenth grade, he has already seen the wrong in what he did. These “horrible”, “evil” “bitches” that you are talking about, weren’t all that bad in comparison to what several kids experience- to what my sister went through.
Time, and a good punishment (yet, I don’t mean expulsion or jail time) will make these kids into a more healthy form of human. They were not given time to grow as my sisters demons were. Phoebe lasted only three months compared to years of name-calling many endure.
I am so thankful to have my sister, alive and well. And I have a special place in my heart which harbors distaste and disgust towards those who hurt her. But both my sister and I practice forgiveness towards our bullies. Just like I hope those who I used to torment would forgive me if I ever had the chance to apologize.

Clyde Outlaw

April 3rd, 2010
12:31 pm

You can’t be serious, Josey! Those nine kids are pond scum and they need to be severely punished. It wasn’t just small-time bullying, they were relentless and NEVER let up. They need to be severely punished and made an example of. The fact they didn’t show remorse, and in fact, were brazen and arrogant of the suicide, show, they need to pay for what they did. Once they get what’s coming to them, they will be ashamed of what they did and regret it because what those scumbags did was heinous!

Clyde Outlaw

April 3rd, 2010
12:38 pm

Connie: You raise good points. However, those thugs never let up and probably took it to another level than what the bullies of the past did. We can’t force them to be nice and befriend the victim, but someone should have forced them to stop their relentless harassment. If they couldn’t be civil to Phoebe Prince, those seedy nine should have had nothing to do with her and leave her alone. For their conduct, they need to be severely punished.

Cindy

April 3rd, 2010
3:16 pm

Excuse me, these individuals were not indicted for “bullying”. They were indicted for Statutory Rape, Criminal Harassment, Assult by Means of a Dangerous Weapon, Violation of Civil Rights, Stalking, and Disturbance of a School Assembly. Furthermore, to what I understand it was a Grand Jury that chose to indict them. So, as I have never committed any of these crimes, I will not “turn myself in”. Now, for the sect of our society who seems to believe that it is okay to do these things and, in their ignorance, lables these acts “bullying”, that is not what they are. Its really simple, if you don’t want to end up indicted and maybe doing time, behave in a civilized manner and do not do engage in this behavior. However, if you want to enjoy the sadistic pleasure of engaging in these activities (as these individuals are now indicted of doing, for a sustained and continuous period of three months, no less) then also be prepared to reap the consequences of your illegal acts. I see no reason why these people should be treated any differently than any one else in our country would had they committed these crimes. That school was a place where parents sent their children to learn and, hopefully, make friends and enjoy their youth. I fully believe that it is reasonable to expect that when you entrust your children in the care of a school, they will be safe and will not have their civil rights violated, be stalked, be criminally harassed, be assulted by means of a dangerous weapon, be statutorily raped, etc. I also cannot see how anyone could possibly be expected to learn in such an environment. That school doesn’t seem to have a “bully” problem, it has a GANG problem, but no one wants to call it that because its located in Western Massachuessets. I think that the day those individuals were indicted for their crimes was a day that marked the beginning of the end of the “bully’s” reign, and now we hear the cries of fellow bullies as the they circle the drain.

Hasl

April 3rd, 2010
3:37 pm

the garbage punks who perpetuated this and the garbage school employees who looked the other way should all be punished to the max. it is haunting to imagine that pretty, helpless new girl being stood over and screamed at by these bully scum. her books knocked out of her hands. and she had noone to help her. walking home, they drove by and hit her with a drink can.
in my school, the good kids took care of the bullies, forcefully. bullying stopped.
if Phoebe had been my daughter or sister, there would be reign of terror in that horrible place.

Cindy

April 3rd, 2010
3:50 pm

Dear “In my opinion”:

These individuals were not indicted for “bullying” as you term it. They were indicted for, inter alia, Statutory Rape, Civil Rights Violation Resulting in Bodily Injury, Criminal Harassment, Stalking, Assult With a Dangerous Instrument/Object. Furthermore, to what I understand it was a Grand Jury that chose to indict them. There is a lot of commentary on the internet that even after the girl died, the dead was mocked and the word “accomplished” was written on the deceased facebook page. As I have not engaged in these activities, I will not “turn myself it”. Regarding giving these individuals a second chance, if they are so convicted they can have one, after they pay their debts to society, and to the deceased, for what they are charged with.

Blame the victim. No. Reports on the internet have revealed that the victim did report the abuse to her mother who went not once but twice to that school to implore their help. It does not appear that her pleas were answered. Regarding Ms. Prince perhaps having mental instability, well, that would make sense, after being tormented and humiliated for three months straight by a gang while staff members of that school looked on. Maybe they thought it was funny too, who knows?

Its really simple: if you want to enjoy the sadistic pleasure of Civil Rights Violation Resulting in Bodily Injury, Criminal Harassment, Stalking, Assult with a Dangerous Object/Instrument, then also be prepared to reap the punishment of engaging in these illegal activities.

I believe when a parent entrusts their most valued “possession” in the world, their child, in the care of a school, it is reasonable for that parent to expect that their child will not be subjected to the crimes listed above. I also believe that a school is a place where one should expect to be allowed to LEARN without continual harassment and torment. South Hadley does not seem to have a “bully” problem, rather, it has a gang problem, but no one wants to call it that because of its being located in Western Massachussetts. Honestly, I think Ms. Prince would have been safer taking a stroll through the projects than going to that school.

These individuals should be treated no differently than anyone else charged with these sorts of crimes. They should make their retribution to Ms. Prince and society. The day those individuals were indicted marked the beginning of the end of the bully reign, and now we hear the protests of fellow bullies as the circle the drain.

Marty Velcomen

April 4th, 2010
3:11 pm

Free advice from an attorney. Much of this advice will seem obvious. However, most people never do it.

Anyone who is a victim of bullying should do the following:

1. Immediately contact the police dept. and file a complaint against the person or persons who are guilty of the bullying. Request an order of protection signed by a judge against each person who committed any criminal act.
2. The biggest problem with people who are victims of crimes is that they fail to create the record for future reference and as fact based evidence of the crimes.
3. Keep a diary of all events.
4. Keep a timeline of events.
5. Write down all names, addresses, and telephone numbers of all perpetrators of the bullying.
6. Contact child protective services and file a complaint against all school officials who have control over students during the day.
7. Know that most schools and school officials will do nothing. Do not depend on them. They live to cover-up and conceal acts of crime that occur within schools. Schools are not exempt from criminal activity. However, school officials over the years have tried and continue to try to keep legal officials out of the schools. Many schools have a policy of not reporting criminal acts. Bullying is a criminal activity. It is not innocent play.
8. The people who bully are not first time and one-time offenders. They typically have a past of bad behavioral activity.
9. Write letters to the school and inform them of the facts of the incidents of bullying. Send all mail by certified mail, return receipt requested. Send letters to teachers, principals, assistant principals, superintendents. Follow up every meeting with a letter. Do not permit the school officials to control the setting of meetings. Demand action. Demand an action plan.
10. Get the victim of bullying some professional counseling.
11. Retain a lawyer and have the lawyer contact the school in writing.
12. Retain an attorney to write letters to the parents of the bullies.
13. Contact the press. Inform the press of bullying incidents.
14. Take children out of school if you believe that the environment is unsafe.
15. Protect yourself. Students today are outrageous and very dangerous. They carry weapons and will not refrain from making you another victim.
16. Talk to all friends of the victim and find out what occurred.
17. Obtain affidavits from all witnesses to the acts of bullying.
18. Hire a private investigator.
19. Verify all facts.
20. Contact the local town prosecutor and county district attorney and inform them of the bully incidents.

Woody

April 6th, 2010
6:55 pm

Want to punish these kids? Pack them up and send them each to a new town in a new country, say Ireland, France, England, etc. Make sure it is just before school starts so they don’t have time to develop friends. Then during their first week in school spread a vicious rumor about them (in this case the truth) and just let nature take its course. I give them 6 weeks before they are crying themselves to sleep at night and cursing the world for letting it happen.

If they are lucky, someone MIGHT step in to help them (but I really doubt it).

Let us pray that humans are the only species in the universe that can be this cold and this disconnected from others.

Oh, and their parents ought to be given the keys to the homes of each of the kids that did this. If they didn’t know what was going on then they need to be in jail too for felony lack-of-involvment.

And as for the school and the teachers and staff? Plow it into the ground and fire them all. NONE of them truly give a rats ass. I know. I was once one of these kids. However, I was a boy and that one kid sort of talks normaly now. Well, you can understand him anyway. This girl never had a chance.

RIP Phoebe Prince – I cry for you.

Helen

April 7th, 2010
3:17 am

I understand 100% what Phoebe felt when she ended her life. I was bullied at work over a period of 3 years. The bully’s target will be effected in the anterior cortex part of the brain which will cause the target to experience physiological pain. The physiological pain will be so great that a person can not take the pain, and will therefore choose suicide to end the pain. Bullies cause pain greater than the method of suicide.

I may be called weak or crazy, but I have considered suicide on multiple occasions from harassment at work which caused unbearable physiological pains. I worked in a poultry processing plant and there were powerful individuals who ignored the problem. There was an improper investigation and retaliation. I was told that I did not get along with the bully and I was not happy wherever I was. The bully, a male was asked what happened, and the outcome was that he was the victim and I was the bully. I am presently in psychotherapy and I still experience physiological pain.

It is totally unAmerican to bully others. Racism, descrimination, and harassment of all other forms are unAmerican. I do not consider bullies to be Americans. I think they are traitors and should be guilty of treason. I personally regard bullies to be Assicans rather than Americans.

Helen

April 7th, 2010
3:56 am

Everyone knows about the damage caused by bullying. The bully knows it when they bully the target. The target definitely understands and feels the damage. People who witness bullying also know the damage done to the bully. And yet bullies continue to dominate. Boundary education needs to be taught to children from preschool. The United States Constitution needs to be honored because it is based on equality. Bullies cause health problems and death to the targets. The targets may experience a slow death with the increased possibility of heart disease and other problems in which stress breaks down the immune system. Also, they may end up in accidents.

Targets may have their problems multiply when they report it to authorities. If bullies have a certain amount of power when they bully, they also have a greater amount of power when they put on a show defending themselves and blaming the target.

Purdue University has excellent research on silent treatment which causes the anterior cortex part of the brain to register silent treatment as physiological pain. What the target feels is the equivilent of being beat up. There is no doubt that Phoebe felt the silent treatment from the school officials as well as her class mates. Google silent treatment/anterior cortex to find a data base of research on this.

Rules for Radicals is one of the most important books in American History because it outlines tactics which are often used by bullies. I do not recommend buying the book because Rules for Radicals tactics are easily found on the web. The tactics seem to be inherent knowledge of bullies. The tactics may be used in domestic violence or to over throw a nation. Knowledge of the tactics are important because America needs to be aware of counteracting the tactics in order to protect America and our constitution. American values need to be protected and re instated. The tactics of bullies need to be counteracted.

Bullies exist like a cancer in America. I deeply regret the cruelty done to Phoebe. I hope she lives on to be a warrior princess to help get America straight on the sick cruelty in America. May she rest in peace. My heart will always cry for her.

the lars factor

April 8th, 2010
2:06 pm

Fighting about this issue won’t make anything better. To set an example for us teens is crucial in the world of today. Don’t fret about all the ignorant comments made by others on here. Stop. Pray. Mourn for this little girl and her family. It isn’t right. I’m a senior in high school and I watch this stuff happen all the time. Don’t waste the chance to help someone in need. It’s too late for Miss Phoebe but what about all the others? Just take time out of your day to just say “hi” “how are you” “do you need anything” to the youth of today. After all, we are the future. You don’t want your legacy to be all about bashing teenagers who are sickening. Yes, they need to be seriously punished. Don’t get me wrong. But don’t waste your time about bashing them too. You don’t want them to commit suicide because of all the comments and hateful words your’e posting about them. That’s just as bad as what they did. Be the bigger person and turn the other cheek. Let’s pray and mourn for this little girl and her family. That’s the important thing. R.I.P. Miss Phoebe Prince. You are in MY prayers. <3

[...] earlier blogs here on bullying, many of you have applauded the Massachusetts prosecutor’s filing of felony charges against [...]

Rossi

April 9th, 2010
10:59 am

I was so moved by the Phoebe prince story
that i decided to reveal my own story on my site http://www.rossirant.com
i guess the story of mean girls is not knew
but after seeing what the victims of bullies can resort too
self violence like phoebe or violence directed towards others
like columbine
isn’t it about time for schools to make a mandatory class in non bullying
the same way corporations make sexual harrassment courses mandatory
phoebe should not have died in vain

Mother Of 2 daughters

April 12th, 2010
8:59 am

First I would like to say that may Phoebe Prince rest in peace and may god be with her family at this time. Then I’d like to say to all of you that think this is no big deal and this is not serious:

This is a big deal, this girl is dead now. Wake up! look at how kids act now, things are not like how they use to be back then. With all the technology and cell phones it actually makes bulling worse than back then. For anyone that says you have to ignore it you are just CRAZY! First of all the girl had just moved here, that alone is hard itself (especially moving to a totally different country), second of all this had been going on for months before she killed herself, and third of all her mother told the school.

Those kids that stood by not saying anything and those teachers that were aware should take this as a lesson learned and next time say something. Anyone that sees this going on somewhere should stand up and say something and then actions need to be taken.

I work in a hospital and I see all types of people each day. And there are people that have mental problems and have other issues and alot of it has to deal with things that happened in their past. These kids that made this girls life a living hell really messed with her mental state.
So of course shes not going to be thinking how all of you people think, she was probably depressed and was at her breaking point. So don’t try to sit there and say just ignore it, she couldn’t have ignored it with the messed up girls that were sitting there texting and writing her on facebook. how do you ignore something from school when you have to hear about it while you are at home too.

I really hope these kids go to jail, and hope they learn their lesson. This was way out of hand, and someone should of stepped in and took action. Maybe once those kids have spent time in jail they will then have second thoughts on what they do in the future and how they treat people.

Some of you have no heart what so ever, you say its just another kid killing themself, its a persons life! whats wrong with you. Maybe you feel its not a big deal because you didn’t know her, but what if that happened to one of your kids, or someone you really loved? I’m sure you would then be saying something totally different. Have some respect for this girl, and respect for yourself, stop making yourself look like a heartless person and not write anything on here if you don’t have anything respectful to say.

Dan

April 12th, 2010
4:27 pm

You know what, I think this was all racism plain and simple. If she had been a Hispanic or whatever tropical island immigrant she would have been accepted immediatly among the rest of the students or at least would have had more people standing up for her. not to mention the administration would have bent over backwards to protect her from bullying out of fear that a special interest group would go after them. but nope she’s from Ireland not the type they r use to and no special interest group to bail her out. so she’s an easy target. god the system is f@#cked

David Green

April 21st, 2010
5:44 am

Had the victim been a young teenage male (who commit suicide at five times the rate of teenage girls) instead of being a female would this case have even made national news? I don’t think so! What this case highlights most of all is how our society can’t abide anything bad happening or being done to a female while caring not one wit about males…

Mimi

April 23rd, 2010
11:48 pm

I was bullied as a child and my experience was that the parents of the bullies were usually bullies themselves–that’s where the kids learned their behavior. Some teachers are bullies or sympathetic with the bullies. Part of it is that our society condones violence and aggression. Kind, sensitive people are viewed as “weak.” Studies also show that bullies typically have poor communication and social skills. They’re often insecure and feel threatened by their victims who may be perceived as prettier or smarter. The bully sees him/herself as the victim as he/she feels threatened by the good qualities the victim possesses. Teaching bullies how to ventilate their anger in a productive and positive way and teaching them to develop a healthy self-esteem and better communication skills would go a long way in stopping bullying behavior. The victim needs to learn assertiveness skills and to not need approval from other people. Parents and teachers of bullies who do nothing to stop the behavior should be punished–not the kids. Kids just don’t know any better. They learn from us adults. When I was a kid, the parents of the bullies who attacked me would threaten my parents if they tried to stand up for me. The teachers allowed the bullying to happen and seemed to sympathize with the bullies. Again, this is a problem with our society, that we are taught that aggressive, bullying behavior is a sign of strength and that the shy kid who’s being victimized is “weak” ’cause he or she isn’t aggressively defending him/herself. Rather than jail the kids who bullied poor Phoebe to death, we should penalize the parents and teachers involved and teach the bullies proper social and communication skills. Jailing them will only give them the opportunity to learn more bullying behavior. They’ll come out of jail more violent and dangerous to the community.

Teresa

April 27th, 2010
12:20 am

What a terrible shame for Phoebe and her family. To have your entire life uprooted, to move not to another town, or city, but a new country, away from everything familiar. That would be tough on me and I’m a grown up. The teens that tormented Phoebe until she took her own life, it is tragic, it is what these teens wanted, what they told her to do. To live in fear every day, I cannot imagine the torment she went through, or that her family is suffering now. Where were the bullies parents? They really fell down, because they knew.

wildeagle

June 17th, 2010
12:15 pm

Bullies are stinking yellow dog cowards who deserve to fry in hell for all eternity for making other people’s lives hell. Bullying goes on and on and on because lots of times it’s the victims, not the bullies who get the blame. I was told to “just ignore the bullies” But the abuse kept going day after day after day on that stinking school bus. The old fart bus driver did NOTHING to stop his bus from being splattered with soggy spit wads. He turned a blind eye to the physical assaults (including being hit on the head with a club). Bullies know they won’t get suspended or put off the bus. They rely on victims for cheap entertainment. But their butts will be barbecued in the Lake of Fire someday, and I take comfort in God’s promise of perfect justice.

New Yorker

August 12th, 2010
1:58 pm

Well you know hearing stuff about this is truly heart breaking. I’m only fourteen years old and I can tell what kind of pain this poor girl was experiencing. I have ancestors from Ireland and I visit there often. Hearing the words “Irish Slut” (One name Phoebe had been called based on her nationality. I found that out in a Fox article) hurt me on the inside because there are so many nice,pleasant and outgoing Irish people in Ireland and now the United States. You could tell by just looking Phoebe and hearing what her parents had to say about her in other articles you could tell she’d live up to be somebody. There are so many people to blame…. Those teenagers,teachers,principals etc.. But you know when I was younger I was faced with bullying and went to the guidance department but no action was taken. TRAGIC
Its like a stab in the heart hearing a story like this. As I,and many others go through our stage as a teenager you have a feeling you might have been able to do something to prevent the outcome. Though I don’t live anywhere near Massachusetts and I didn’t know Phoebe at all I still feel I could have done something…..
At the age of 15 you are looking to find your inner self. Guys like me don’t really care when something is said about you but hearing negative comments can destroy a girl. Phoebe experieced this everyday and it killed her.
Its hard to admit this because I’m a guy but the first time I saw articles and pictures of Phoebe I cried. Phoebe may you rest in peace. I love you.

Patricia

September 2nd, 2010
11:55 am

Bullies made my life absolute hell in high school. always last to be chosen in PE, no one wanted to sit with me in assembly or at lunch, insulted, called a disease to be stamped out, tacks in my chair, etc. It’s a deadly sin to have an unusual last name or to be twenty pounds overweight or have frizzy hair. I was called nasty names by a tall skinny creep, Mike Crapp, (name fictitious). I was DAILY attacked on the school bus and nobody did anything about it. My self-confidence was down in the toilet. I’m very smart but took jobs beneath my intelligence, because I didn’t want to interact much with people Once bitten, twice shy. I hope the monsters who hurt me got a good smacking themselves later in life. Bullies are stinking yellow dog cowards too scared to fight fairly, they usually run in packs like dogs and soil on every beautiful thing they see. The kids who drove poor Phoebe to her grave are murderers in the sight of God and they will burn in hell for it if they don’t repent and accept Christ as Savior.
http://waronbullying.tripod.com