Why didn’t someone save Phoebe Prince from unrelenting bullying?
The fierce response of a Massachusetts district attorney to the suicide of a teen bullying victim — the prosecutor brought charges today against nine teenagers — reflects the increasing concern over school bullying, concerns that have grown as intimidation and taunting have gone viral over the Internet.
Nine teens face charges in the suicide of alleged bullying victim Phoebe Prince
Pursued with unusual cruelty by a group of students at her new high school, Phoebe Prince, 15, hanged herself in January. She had enrolled at the school in the fall after moving to the United States from Ireland, which may contributed to her victimization at South Hadley High School.
According to the AJC story:
Phoebe, ostracized for having a brief relationship with a popular boy, reached her breaking point and hanged herself after one particularly hellish day in January — a day that, according to officials, included being hounded with slurs and pelted with a beverage container as she walked home from school.
Now, nine teenagers face charges in what a prosecutor called “unrelenting” bullying, including two teen boys charged with statutory rape and a clique of girls charged with stalking, criminal harassment and violating Phoebe’s civil rights.
Northwestern District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel, who announced the charges Monday, said the events before Phoebe’s death on Jan. 14 were “the culmination of a nearly three-month campaign of verbally assaultive behavior and threats of physical harm” widely known among the student body.
School officials won’t be charged, even though authorities say they knew about the bullying and that Phoebe’s mother brought her concerns to at least two of them.
For those of you who work in schools, why would administrators and teachers let this persecution go unchecked?
Research shows that bullying occurs in all schools, private and public, and that it is often unseen by adults. In an earlier blog on bullying, I cited a 2005 U.S. Department of Education report that found 14 percent of students ages 12 through 18 said they had been bullied in the past six months.
In the early grades, bullies direct their attacks at almost anyone. As they get older, they target certain kids. Bullies go after younger and smaller kids, but victims also are chosen because they are more anxious, sensitive, cautious and quiet.
Bullying is often a spectator sport, with 85 percent of incidents involving other kids who watch the torment without stopping it. On the day of her suicide, Phoebe was abused her in the school library, the lunchroom and the hallways, according to the charges. Classmates threw a canned drink at her as she walked home, where her sister found her hanging from a stairwell at 4:30 p.m.
While Phoebe’s bullies used texting and social networking sites to harass her, the prosecutor said most of the bullying occurred on school grounds during school hours.
In the next few days, we will likely see the families of the nine teens charged defend their children, who are already being depicted as monsters.
What is happening that such cruelty could be tolerated? Why didn’t other students speak out? Why didn’t the adults step in?
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243 comments Add your comment
Bailee
March 31st, 2010
3:43 pm
Personaly at the age of 15 in public high school i must say.
this is not bullying!
this is alot more. to me a bully is someone who pushes you down in the hall way. not someone who makes you want to die. were all weriod when were kids, just relise that it might not have been all of there faults
Hoop
March 31st, 2010
4:40 pm
School are supposed to be orderly, and that order is to be kept by adults. When the adults stop doing anything they are putting the inmates in charge of the asylum.
Is it any wonder that these “bullying” cases are followed by testimony from parents, teachers, and other authorities who say “well I told so-and-so” or “what am I supposed to do about it?”
Brian Goss
March 31st, 2010
4:49 pm
The poor girls blood is on the hands of the administrators and faculty members who ignored the problem. If the school had put half as much effort into preventing the bullying than it has invested in making the victim be the guilty person – none of this would have happened.
The principle cried at a town meeting last night because he got to keep his job. Probably the only time he cried since the suicide happened.
I hold all those faculty members who knew what was happening but ignored it and all the administrators in the utmost of contempt. They are liars and should have been prosecuted. Unfortunately, Massachuesetts law prevents them or the school district from being sued but hopefully their names will be published. At a minimum, may God crush them with guilt until it’s their time to go to hell for eternity!
Parent7
March 31st, 2010
4:49 pm
Why didn’t the school have an anti-bullying program in place before she got there? This is not brain surgery, these programs have existed for years. With such a program, teachers are encouraged to report children — for the safety of *both* the children who are bullied, and those who do the bullying.
Those who bully are indeed ruining their own lives, though, sadly, to them, they may be gaining thrills in the moment. Both the bullies and the bulliers need to be protected from this cycle.
Even if your local schools haven’t had a tragedy like this, it’s time to find out if they have an anti-bullying program in place or not. In a good school system, children begin to learn that this behavior is not acceptable *in kindergarten*, with age-appropriate curriculum every year.
Bob
March 31st, 2010
5:08 pm
RoadToad: I’m thinking that if you’ve been “forced” out of two jobs, and now have fellow employees that are angry enough to threaten to “kick your ass”, then maybe, just maybe, you ARE the problem! You say you are 50 yo? Well, I’m 70+ and never had any such issues in any of my jobs. People I didn’t like, or couldn’t get along with very well? Of course, that’s part of life. But if they perceive you as such an odious presence that they force you out of your job, you may have some soul-searching to do!
:
Phoebe Prince Story - Keada
March 31st, 2010
5:10 pm
[...] [...]
Phoebe Prince Story - oSeat
March 31st, 2010
5:27 pm
[...] students, in person and online. The bullying was so horrific that she took her own life. This storyPhoebe Prince Story – Phoebe Prince was a 15-year-old girl in Western Massachusetts who was mercilessly bullied by [...]
You Asked
March 31st, 2010
5:29 pm
A generation of kids now raised by people other than their parents (day care, school, after school day care) are now well equiped to keep their bullying and bad behavior under the radar of what school officials can do legally to address the issues of non-civil behavior. The kids who don’t learn the rules in the new “lord of the flys” world are the victims.
My oldest got brought up on terrorism charges by a group of students in Jr High who thought it would be funny to tell stories and get 36 classmates expelled. It worked even though the allegations were false and most of the accused students (unpopular and nerdy kids who were made to look like potential columbine murderers by the spineless administration) had to defend themselves in court or plea no contest to a misdemeanor to avoid a lengthy trial.
At least years later after high school some of the bullies had grown up and apologized to my son when they realized he was one of their victims.
The bullies are sophisticated and organized. They don’t play fair.
Ole Guy
March 31st, 2010
9:05 pm
Well-put, Bob…I feel bad for the Toad, however, many of the problems we face in life are, ultimately, of our own design.
We are obliged to contend with bullies at every corner in life: the schools, sadly, the home, and, even as adults, in the work place. Many, because of insecurities, or any number of circumstances, never learn to appropriately deal with this type personality. However…and I hope Toad takes note…it’s never too late to learn. Bob, your suggestion should be step #1…soul search. Know yourself, Toad, your values, strengths and weaknesses. While it is certainly not appropriate…nor legal…for a mid-aged adult to handle a bully as a kid might, it is, nonetheless, doable. Know your adversary (not necessarily personaly, but rather the human nature of the bully), but first and foremost, know yourself; knowing yourself, be confident in who and what you have discovered.
Life is too short, Toad. Illegitimi non Carborundum…Don’t Let The Bastards Wear You Down!
Emily
April 1st, 2010
8:11 am
What a shame… she was such a pretty girl. I can’t imagine how her bullies must feel.
poligney
April 1st, 2010
8:37 am
How sad that the adults at her school were aware of this abuse and did nothing. If some of these abusers had been given detentions or otherwise called to account for their actions, that girl might be alive today. I think those teachers should be held accountable for their inaction, they have a responcibility to all the students.
dds
April 1st, 2010
8:46 am
My mother has this saying “It’s the choices we make”, which makes me think before acting. So, the choices these kids made will affect everyone. Our children need to know they can’t do whatever they want when they want. More parents need to acknowledge when their children do wrong rather than justify what they’ve done. There’s always excuses and everything is an accident, yeah, whatever. We need to pay more attention to our kids so we know what’s going on. If i go to the school with continuous problems concerning my children and they do nothing, I would be the school’s, the bullies and their parents problem. If I don’t protect my children, who will? Not the judicial system. I’m a firm believer in you get what you give, so I guess I’ll get what i give. Is it worth it? Hell yes, especially when it comes to my children. Get it together people. These children will be taking care of us in 30 yrs and running our country. We think we’re in trouble now, just wait.
Ole Guy
April 1st, 2010
10:12 am
MV, your “stabing” remark of my being “a complete and total idiot” needs some clarification. I am quite certain the good readers would respect the author of such statements if said author had the guts and intelect to express thoughts as an adult and not as a child.
Unfortunately, it is adults (I presume you are an adult), like you, who provide none but the most superficial support and guidance to kids…if that. The Phoebes of the world receive no help from parents who, LIKE YOU, express themselves no better to those they perportedly love than they do to the outside world. Consequently, with no one, from neither home nor school, to speak with , and to offer understanding, they feel alone in this world and deal with their problems in a most tragic way.
You, MV, and people like you, make me wanna vomit with disgust.
Marcus Brainard
April 1st, 2010
3:38 pm
The death of Phoebe Cates isn’t new and things like this ends up with either the victim kills himself/herself or sends a band of mercenaries to turn there school into “Hiroshima, 1945″. People still haven’t learn there lesson, but at a local Jr. High School on June 4, 1971 an event happened. A Senior Student party was transformed into a “Pearl Harbor” like attack when three groups took on 1,500 Senior Students and teacher alike and and left 1/3 dead & almost destoryed the school. Where was the police? They were sent to aid people affected by poisonous toxic gas on the opposite of town when a train derailed with poison nerve gas & The fire department was handling a 4 alarm fire on another side of town. The reason for this: The so-called victim was an admitted, 15 year old male virgin & that in that middle school was worse than being Charles Starkweather or the men who bombed a black church in Birmingham in September, 1963. It seemed nobody learned there lessons at “Denton” or “Columbine” or Virginia Tech. Also nobody didn’t give a damn when a student named Ralph Weiner jumped into the Moody River back in 1971 either. History repeats itself. Marcus Brainard
Marcus Brainard
April 1st, 2010
3:51 pm
What happened to Phoebe Prince is not new. Back in the 1950s in Lincoln, NE. there was this short, near-sighted, bowlegged kid with a speech impairment similar to Daffy Duck & he evolved into a spree-killer and paid the price for killing 11 people. His name: Charles Raymond Starkweather. However for people like Ms. Prince they either kill themselves or find a mercenaries to do their work for them and turn there school into “Hiroshima, 6.8.1945″. Nobody didn’t do there job in that school or Ms. Prince’s community. At least they will not feel with wrath of God her avengers come to destory the school. Back in 1971, a middle school had a senior students’ party and at 12:00 N three groups came and took the party and students learned a crash course on “Tora, Tora, Tora.” 1,500 students and teachers faced the three groups and 1/3 of the students and teachers were wiped out. The reason: They hassaled a student for being an admitted male virgin & that was worse than being Charles Starkweather or the men who bombed a black church in Birmingham, Alabama in September, 1963. It seems nobody learned there lessons from “Denton, 1971″, Columbine, 1999 & Virginia Tech, 2007. Foe now the people who ran Ms. Prince’s school will do the “See No Evil, Hear No Evil & Speak No Evil” about Ms. Prince’s case. For now a nice girl is gone. Who’s gonna be next, another disgruntled student who has connection with mercenaries? So that’s it for now. Marcus Brainard
Philosopher
April 1st, 2010
4:42 pm
@ Hoop: You said it best, I believe-Schools are supposed to be orderly, and that order is to be kept by adults. When the adults stop doing anything they are putting the inmates in charge of the asylum.
There IS no way to stand up against the terrorism that PHoebe faced each day-she was out-numbered, out- manuevered, and had absolutely NO ammunition against these vicious brats. So the whole argument about teaching kids to defend themselves against bullying has absolutely NO place in this discussion. These kids are evil, wicked animals and the teachers and administrators who were aware and did nothing are absolutely complicit in the crime.
Connie
April 2nd, 2010
2:07 am
I was bullied through most of my school years, not months, YEARS. Rumors, personal property destroyed, being ousted from the group, etc…OH, and I dealt with Bipolar I. All of which placed me at high risk for suicide. And I thought about it a lot. But, if I did, it would be nobody’s fault, but my own. This girl needed help, but not the kind that would make everybody be nice to her. She would have benefited from the kind of help that showed her how to be in charge of her life, and how to handle three MONTHS of abuse. Do you really think that making these kids be nice, would have helped her when the next group of mean kids came along?
Everybody needs to stop looking for somebody to blame. Kids have always been cruel, had bad breakups, been ‘victims’ of statutory rape and made threats to beat up somebody after school.
We are not helping the victims by making everybody else be nice.
Cindy
April 2nd, 2010
11:16 pm
Feel sorry for the kids that tortured this girl…not one single bit. “Ruin their lives” by prosecuting them and putting them in jail, ah, it was they that ruined their lives. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. The laws are in place, and if they were violated, well, that is it. Seriously, I thank this DA for taking this gang, and that is what they are, a gang, out of society. Just toss them into the slammer and throw away the key, and anyone that defends them, toss you in too.
Silentbob
April 3rd, 2010
12:26 am
I truly feel for Pheobe’s family. This is a terrible thing and should have never happened. I know there is a lot of arguing in here, and I’m not going to repost and defend or condemn anything said in response to my opinion. We need to start teaching our children not only how to defend themselves, but why it is important to stand up for others. It’s called compassion and empathy. It’s called being strong willed and independent. It’s called thinking for yourself and knowing self-value. I’m sure Phoebe had all of these things until she was beaten into despair. If someone would have stood up for her when the school officials and staff wouldn’t, this possibly could have been avoided. The way we delt with bullying in my school: We weren’t in clicks, we rolled in packs. We stood up for our friends and we always had each others backs. Over time, everyone realized there was no point in pushing someone around because their 12 friends would be there to take over. I’m not saying gangs are a good thing, but they sure do help when you’re in a bind. Phoebe could have used a gang of loyal and decent people to stand up for her. It just goes to show how desensitized our youth have become, there is no care or sense of justice anymore. That is what needs to change. Teach your kids to become friends with the kids who get picked on! Teach your kids what it means to be an American! To fight and defend the freedom of those who are being oppressed!
Elise
April 3rd, 2010
2:26 am
While I believe that action should most definitely be taken to ensure that these bullies realize the wrongs of their actions, and while they should surely be given community service and perhaps a long stay in alternative school, I do not believe that they should be expelled. For several reason. The first being, they are children. Cruel, irresponsible, careless jerks, maybe, but children. There is no evidence that Miss Prince didn’t fight back, or even instigate an argument, after all. Even Prince may have been cruel at times to someone or another. Why? Because they are children. All children, just as all adults, have bits of cruelty in them. It is human. It should be punished and dragged out, if possible. But ruining their futures, because Prince decided to take her own, is not the right thing to do.
The second reason I have to disagree with any hard action against the students is proof that there was no other reason. There is no proof. If they are going to take action against the students, then they must look into any and all aspects that may have given Prince any discomfort, and destroy those too. Did her parents yell at her recently? Did her sister call her any names, or hit her? Siblings fight, does that count?
And as for prosecuting the district and teachers, her parents really should be punished if they are going to even try and go there. It isn’t like the parents took any action to secure their childs wellbeing. They didnt pull her out of school when it got too bad. They didnt insist that action be taken. They didnt do anything for their daughter, and now, in the wake of her death, they suddenly step up to defend her? That is questionable to me.
As for Phoebe herself, while I pity her and wish, as I’m sure everyone does, that I could have been there to give a word of comfort and try to stop her, I believe she successfully killed herself all on her own, without any help from bullies. She could have done more to prevent the attacks. She could have not gotten on facebook. I’m a sixteen year old girl, with a cell phone, and plenty of friends, and when someone attacks me on facebook or myspace, I block them. Simple as that. If someone harrasses me at school, I make sure it doesnt happen again-by whatever means neccessary. She had options. She put no effort into exploring those options, and so she killed herself in every way shape and form. Noone but Phoebe is to blame for her death, that is what suicide is, it is taking the blame for someone elses mistakes. It is murder. If she had lived and fought, then maybe she would have a case to get these girls expelled. Hell, if she had even fought AND THEN killed herself, that would be something. She didn’t even try to stop them, and so they had no way to change, to become aware of their evils, before she died. Until they are given a second chance, I will not be able to completely pity Phoebe Prince with all my heart.
She’s left a mess in her wake, and that is fair to noone. Especially not the families of the TEENAGE girls, of these KIDS, she’s left behind.
Elise
April 3rd, 2010
2:34 am
I didn’t mention, however, that in the case that physical violence or worse, rape, came into the mix, I would have to agree with so many others: The students should be put in jail, all of them, for years, several years. There is no age limit for physical aggression. Words are words, you can ignore words, you can ignore facebook comments. You can even handle a can being thrown at your head (I managed to handle having an entire bucket of water tossed over my head at a school picnic). You would be hard pressed to ignore a fist punching you in the face, or being a victim of rape. Those are much harder to be passive about. I still know many rape victims who have come out alive, and everyone knows someone who’s been beat up a couple of times, but there’s no excuse. Bullying is one thing, and I think a good few months in alternative school -with a death on your conscience- would cover it. But phsyically harming someone is beyong bullying, that is beyond the walls of a high school, that is in the realm of everyone out there who requires such hard justice. I defend the students to everyone I happen to have this discussion with, and I will defend them until I hear for certain that there was a rape involved: Then I will throw them to the dogs, or lions, or horny jailmates, whichever is legally thought to be acceptable.
(I believe repeated sex offenders should be given the death penalty. I’m quite Texan.)
In my opinion,
April 3rd, 2010
3:20 am
Cindy. If you ever, EVER, made fun of anyone, even once, in your life, I hope you go and turn yourself in. I don’t have to know you to know what a hypocrite you are for your statement.
I will defend those students.
To a certain extent, of course. They are horrible little rats, albeit, but they are horrible teenage rats, and should not be given the blame in a situation where not even Phoebe’s parents cared/knew what was happening. No one did a single thing to defuse the situation, not even Phoebe herself! She alone is responsible for her death, no one else. I wish I couldn’t say that, but it is what I believe. She could have reached out, she could have asked for help. With no one, not even their victim, to show them any discipline, how could those students have seen the error in their ways? Common decency? Yea, they should have had common decency, I agree. But expulsion, or jail time, is too hard of a punishment for children who were not given fair warning.
If they are going to throw those kids in jail, then they can throw me, every other child in the world, and every other ADULT in the world, in with them. We have all committed some type of bullying. The difference between us and them? We either had more time to overcome our cruelty and grow out of it, or we were punished accordingly and came to the realization of our wrongs. These kids were not given those opportunities and therefore we have no right to condemn them. It could just as easily have been any other bullied child in the world, even one that you bullied yourself, Cindy. It was not the bullies, but Phoebe, who committed the ultimate crime.
Who knows when something you say is going to make some mentally instable person go off the deep end? Yea, you should give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they are psycho and sensitive, and just be a universally nice person (wouldn’t that be a great world?). I agree that those kids are assholes for tormenting her, and it seems, from the information given, that it was totally random and unnecessary. But they didn’t necessarily know that she was so depressed, she obviously didn’t let on to anyone, not even her own family.
So, Cindy, if you think no one deserves a second chance -ever- then just go to the cops and turn yourself in for a lifetime imprisonment. You’ve probably done a thousand things worthy, or at least deemed worthy by your relentless, selfish morals. You must hate the world, for we’ve all bullied someone. And you must hate yourself, because I’m sure you have too.
Phoebe has my pity and my prayers, but she died without even a fight. How can you respect someone who put themselves down so easily? It’s not even as if she was literally fighting for her life, as many do, in dark alleys or dim lit parking lots. There are kids with fatal illnesses, fighting day after day, with not school children, but death himself as their tormentor, and they wouldn’t dream of taking their lives when they’ve spent years fighting to keep them! Those kids would have heart attacks hearing about Phoebe Prince’s selfish demise! She left the earth without even giving the alternatives a shot. She has no respect coming from me. Only prayers that her soul reach whatever bliss comes after this life, if any.
By the way, you can go ahead and mentally toss me into the slammer if you like. I would go to jail for what I believe in. I would defend and adhere to my morals no matter what! A person like you, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have much honor. If you did possess any self-respect, you wouldn’t have been able to type that comment. You would be in jail, serving time. If you’re going to have such strict beliefs, then at least honor them yourself before preaching to anyone else.
Nopeee
April 3rd, 2010
4:12 am
I agree with In My Opinion. I am a sixteen year old girl. So for everyone who is claiming to be a parent and to have seen what’s happened to their child, here’s another perspective. I must say I’m a bit closer to the situation than some. I am in these situations all the time, every day.
I have gone farther than having a can thrown at my head. I’ve had my face punched -the girl was suspended and keeps away from me now. Because I made sure that she was suspended. Because we kids have the power to do that. Phoebe had the power to do that. No one can say that she didn’t, she absolutely did. It’s crap to say that she couldn’t tell anyone, or no one cared. Someone would have cared, she obviously didn’t care about her own life enough to try hard enough. That part of it is not anyone’s fault but her own.- I’ve also had AXE sprayed in my eyes by a male student. I didn’t tell on him, because I managed to rinse it out and I handled the situation on my own, without involving suicide, or school officials. I’ve been called names galore. Not to seem conceited, but I am also fairly attractive, and I’d wager to say any halfway decent looking girl our age is sure to be called a slut every once and a while for being a threat to others our age. That word, though it should be a big deal, has become common language amongst us. Some may say that I am one of the many horrible kids of my generation for thinking that it’s common to say Slut. Maybe I am desensitized to it. But I am glad that I am. Words are words, and I would never let words be the death of me. There is no excuse to kill yourself over words.
But maybe my meager bullying stories aren’t enough to compare with Phoebe’s. Obviously what happened to her was pretty bad, less physical than what happened to me, but maybe more harmful overall. I, personally, only know one other person who was bullied worse than Phoebe, and I live her pain as if it is my own. My sister, unfortunately destined to always be overweight, had it much worse off when she was our age. The cruelty was unspeakable at some times. Out of respect for my sister, I wouldn’t mention the worst things. However, there were instances when she was publicly humiliated in front of hundreds of eyes in the cafeteria -a tray tossed to the floor. A trip executed by a cheerleader. A shove from an ex-friend. A series of put downs and humiliating jokes, that caused the whole cafeteria to erupt with laughter. Things that caused my sister to be homeschooled for a year, to be put in the hospital with tummy issues for months- Tummy issues? Yes, tummy issues. They were created by her mind, according to a therapist. My sisters mind literally made her sick to her stomach, seriously ill, because of the amount of pain her tormentors caused.
And the insults, the endless insults, went beyond ‘Irish slut’, the insults to my sister were usually of the realm such as ‘Fat Fugly Useless Pile of Lard Spick!’. Spick because we are Hispanic. Racial slurs are also common. The bullying to my sister was physical, sexual, mental, every kind of harsh. She was anorexic, bulimic, depressed, violent, hateful, vengeful, I watched it all as a child. And yet, never once did she give up. She, too, turned in her bullies, and when that didn’t work she even worked to befriend them or calm them in some cases. She was tormented for years upon years, and I believe those kids were evil in their own way, but not inhuman. They were not completely hopeless, even at their worst, which was nastier than what I’ve read about Phoebe’s bullies.
Those are my stories, parents, in response to yours of your children. I present my sister as my example, and I do so not to condemn the students in the Phoebe Prince case, but to defend them.
My overall verdict, however insignificant, is to punish, but not to ruin lives. For now my sister is twenty, and she sees the ghosts of her past all over the city. She sees her old tormentors, and they APOLOGIZE, and they REPENT, and they try to make good on their old wrongs. They have grown, and with that time, they have become -if not good people- normal people. As good as you or I, at least. And even now, after only three years since that boy sprayed me with the Axe, now that he and I are in the tenth grade, he has already seen the wrong in what he did. These “horrible”, “evil” “bitches” that you are talking about, weren’t all that bad in comparison to what several kids experience- to what my sister went through.
Time, and a good punishment (yet, I don’t mean expulsion or jail time) will make these kids into a more healthy form of human. They were not given time to grow as my sisters demons were. Phoebe lasted only three months compared to years of name-calling many endure.
I am so thankful to have my sister, alive and well. And I have a special place in my heart which harbors distaste and disgust towards those who hurt her. But both my sister and I practice forgiveness towards our bullies. Just like I hope those who I used to torment would forgive me if I ever had the chance to apologize.
Clyde Outlaw
April 3rd, 2010
12:31 pm
You can’t be serious, Josey! Those nine kids are pond scum and they need to be severely punished. It wasn’t just small-time bullying, they were relentless and NEVER let up. They need to be severely punished and made an example of. The fact they didn’t show remorse, and in fact, were brazen and arrogant of the suicide, show, they need to pay for what they did. Once they get what’s coming to them, they will be ashamed of what they did and regret it because what those scumbags did was heinous!
Clyde Outlaw
April 3rd, 2010
12:38 pm
Connie: You raise good points. However, those thugs never let up and probably took it to another level than what the bullies of the past did. We can’t force them to be nice and befriend the victim, but someone should have forced them to stop their relentless harassment. If they couldn’t be civil to Phoebe Prince, those seedy nine should have had nothing to do with her and leave her alone. For their conduct, they need to be severely punished.
Cindy
April 3rd, 2010
3:16 pm
Excuse me, these individuals were not indicted for “bullying”. They were indicted for Statutory Rape, Criminal Harassment, Assult by Means of a Dangerous Weapon, Violation of Civil Rights, Stalking, and Disturbance of a School Assembly. Furthermore, to what I understand it was a Grand Jury that chose to indict them. So, as I have never committed any of these crimes, I will not “turn myself in”. Now, for the sect of our society who seems to believe that it is okay to do these things and, in their ignorance, lables these acts “bullying”, that is not what they are. Its really simple, if you don’t want to end up indicted and maybe doing time, behave in a civilized manner and do not do engage in this behavior. However, if you want to enjoy the sadistic pleasure of engaging in these activities (as these individuals are now indicted of doing, for a sustained and continuous period of three months, no less) then also be prepared to reap the consequences of your illegal acts. I see no reason why these people should be treated any differently than any one else in our country would had they committed these crimes. That school was a place where parents sent their children to learn and, hopefully, make friends and enjoy their youth. I fully believe that it is reasonable to expect that when you entrust your children in the care of a school, they will be safe and will not have their civil rights violated, be stalked, be criminally harassed, be assulted by means of a dangerous weapon, be statutorily raped, etc. I also cannot see how anyone could possibly be expected to learn in such an environment. That school doesn’t seem to have a “bully” problem, it has a GANG problem, but no one wants to call it that because its located in Western Massachuessets. I think that the day those individuals were indicted for their crimes was a day that marked the beginning of the end of the “bully’s” reign, and now we hear the cries of fellow bullies as the they circle the drain.
Hasl
April 3rd, 2010
3:37 pm
the garbage punks who perpetuated this and the garbage school employees who looked the other way should all be punished to the max. it is haunting to imagine that pretty, helpless new girl being stood over and screamed at by these bully scum. her books knocked out of her hands. and she had noone to help her. walking home, they drove by and hit her with a drink can.
in my school, the good kids took care of the bullies, forcefully. bullying stopped.
if Phoebe had been my daughter or sister, there would be reign of terror in that horrible place.
Cindy
April 3rd, 2010
3:50 pm
Dear “In my opinion”:
These individuals were not indicted for “bullying” as you term it. They were indicted for, inter alia, Statutory Rape, Civil Rights Violation Resulting in Bodily Injury, Criminal Harassment, Stalking, Assult With a Dangerous Instrument/Object. Furthermore, to what I understand it was a Grand Jury that chose to indict them. There is a lot of commentary on the internet that even after the girl died, the dead was mocked and the word “accomplished” was written on the deceased facebook page. As I have not engaged in these activities, I will not “turn myself it”. Regarding giving these individuals a second chance, if they are so convicted they can have one, after they pay their debts to society, and to the deceased, for what they are charged with.
Blame the victim. No. Reports on the internet have revealed that the victim did report the abuse to her mother who went not once but twice to that school to implore their help. It does not appear that her pleas were answered. Regarding Ms. Prince perhaps having mental instability, well, that would make sense, after being tormented and humiliated for three months straight by a gang while staff members of that school looked on. Maybe they thought it was funny too, who knows?
Its really simple: if you want to enjoy the sadistic pleasure of Civil Rights Violation Resulting in Bodily Injury, Criminal Harassment, Stalking, Assult with a Dangerous Object/Instrument, then also be prepared to reap the punishment of engaging in these illegal activities.
I believe when a parent entrusts their most valued “possession” in the world, their child, in the care of a school, it is reasonable for that parent to expect that their child will not be subjected to the crimes listed above. I also believe that a school is a place where one should expect to be allowed to LEARN without continual harassment and torment. South Hadley does not seem to have a “bully” problem, rather, it has a gang problem, but no one wants to call it that because of its being located in Western Massachussetts. Honestly, I think Ms. Prince would have been safer taking a stroll through the projects than going to that school.
These individuals should be treated no differently than anyone else charged with these sorts of crimes. They should make their retribution to Ms. Prince and society. The day those individuals were indicted marked the beginning of the end of the bully reign, and now we hear the protests of fellow bullies as the circle the drain.
Marty Velcomen
April 4th, 2010
3:11 pm
Free advice from an attorney. Much of this advice will seem obvious. However, most people never do it.
Anyone who is a victim of bullying should do the following:
1. Immediately contact the police dept. and file a complaint against the person or persons who are guilty of the bullying. Request an order of protection signed by a judge against each person who committed any criminal act.
2. The biggest problem with people who are victims of crimes is that they fail to create the record for future reference and as fact based evidence of the crimes.
3. Keep a diary of all events.
4. Keep a timeline of events.
5. Write down all names, addresses, and telephone numbers of all perpetrators of the bullying.
6. Contact child protective services and file a complaint against all school officials who have control over students during the day.
7. Know that most schools and school officials will do nothing. Do not depend on them. They live to cover-up and conceal acts of crime that occur within schools. Schools are not exempt from criminal activity. However, school officials over the years have tried and continue to try to keep legal officials out of the schools. Many schools have a policy of not reporting criminal acts. Bullying is a criminal activity. It is not innocent play.
8. The people who bully are not first time and one-time offenders. They typically have a past of bad behavioral activity.
9. Write letters to the school and inform them of the facts of the incidents of bullying. Send all mail by certified mail, return receipt requested. Send letters to teachers, principals, assistant principals, superintendents. Follow up every meeting with a letter. Do not permit the school officials to control the setting of meetings. Demand action. Demand an action plan.
10. Get the victim of bullying some professional counseling.
11. Retain a lawyer and have the lawyer contact the school in writing.
12. Retain an attorney to write letters to the parents of the bullies.
13. Contact the press. Inform the press of bullying incidents.
14. Take children out of school if you believe that the environment is unsafe.
15. Protect yourself. Students today are outrageous and very dangerous. They carry weapons and will not refrain from making you another victim.
16. Talk to all friends of the victim and find out what occurred.
17. Obtain affidavits from all witnesses to the acts of bullying.
18. Hire a private investigator.
19. Verify all facts.
20. Contact the local town prosecutor and county district attorney and inform them of the bully incidents.
Woody
April 6th, 2010
6:55 pm
Want to punish these kids? Pack them up and send them each to a new town in a new country, say Ireland, France, England, etc. Make sure it is just before school starts so they don’t have time to develop friends. Then during their first week in school spread a vicious rumor about them (in this case the truth) and just let nature take its course. I give them 6 weeks before they are crying themselves to sleep at night and cursing the world for letting it happen.
If they are lucky, someone MIGHT step in to help them (but I really doubt it).
Let us pray that humans are the only species in the universe that can be this cold and this disconnected from others.
Oh, and their parents ought to be given the keys to the homes of each of the kids that did this. If they didn’t know what was going on then they need to be in jail too for felony lack-of-involvment.
And as for the school and the teachers and staff? Plow it into the ground and fire them all. NONE of them truly give a rats ass. I know. I was once one of these kids. However, I was a boy and that one kid sort of talks normaly now. Well, you can understand him anyway. This girl never had a chance.
RIP Phoebe Prince – I cry for you.
Helen
April 7th, 2010
3:17 am
I understand 100% what Phoebe felt when she ended her life. I was bullied at work over a period of 3 years. The bully’s target will be effected in the anterior cortex part of the brain which will cause the target to experience physiological pain. The physiological pain will be so great that a person can not take the pain, and will therefore choose suicide to end the pain. Bullies cause pain greater than the method of suicide.
I may be called weak or crazy, but I have considered suicide on multiple occasions from harassment at work which caused unbearable physiological pains. I worked in a poultry processing plant and there were powerful individuals who ignored the problem. There was an improper investigation and retaliation. I was told that I did not get along with the bully and I was not happy wherever I was. The bully, a male was asked what happened, and the outcome was that he was the victim and I was the bully. I am presently in psychotherapy and I still experience physiological pain.
It is totally unAmerican to bully others. Racism, descrimination, and harassment of all other forms are unAmerican. I do not consider bullies to be Americans. I think they are traitors and should be guilty of treason. I personally regard bullies to be Assicans rather than Americans.
Helen
April 7th, 2010
3:56 am
Everyone knows about the damage caused by bullying. The bully knows it when they bully the target. The target definitely understands and feels the damage. People who witness bullying also know the damage done to the bully. And yet bullies continue to dominate. Boundary education needs to be taught to children from preschool. The United States Constitution needs to be honored because it is based on equality. Bullies cause health problems and death to the targets. The targets may experience a slow death with the increased possibility of heart disease and other problems in which stress breaks down the immune system. Also, they may end up in accidents.
Targets may have their problems multiply when they report it to authorities. If bullies have a certain amount of power when they bully, they also have a greater amount of power when they put on a show defending themselves and blaming the target.
Purdue University has excellent research on silent treatment which causes the anterior cortex part of the brain to register silent treatment as physiological pain. What the target feels is the equivilent of being beat up. There is no doubt that Phoebe felt the silent treatment from the school officials as well as her class mates. Google silent treatment/anterior cortex to find a data base of research on this.
Rules for Radicals is one of the most important books in American History because it outlines tactics which are often used by bullies. I do not recommend buying the book because Rules for Radicals tactics are easily found on the web. The tactics seem to be inherent knowledge of bullies. The tactics may be used in domestic violence or to over throw a nation. Knowledge of the tactics are important because America needs to be aware of counteracting the tactics in order to protect America and our constitution. American values need to be protected and re instated. The tactics of bullies need to be counteracted.
Bullies exist like a cancer in America. I deeply regret the cruelty done to Phoebe. I hope she lives on to be a warrior princess to help get America straight on the sick cruelty in America. May she rest in peace. My heart will always cry for her.
the lars factor
April 8th, 2010
2:06 pm
Fighting about this issue won’t make anything better. To set an example for us teens is crucial in the world of today. Don’t fret about all the ignorant comments made by others on here. Stop. Pray. Mourn for this little girl and her family. It isn’t right. I’m a senior in high school and I watch this stuff happen all the time. Don’t waste the chance to help someone in need. It’s too late for Miss Phoebe but what about all the others? Just take time out of your day to just say “hi” “how are you” “do you need anything” to the youth of today. After all, we are the future. You don’t want your legacy to be all about bashing teenagers who are sickening. Yes, they need to be seriously punished. Don’t get me wrong. But don’t waste your time about bashing them too. You don’t want them to commit suicide because of all the comments and hateful words your’e posting about them. That’s just as bad as what they did. Be the bigger person and turn the other cheek. Let’s pray and mourn for this little girl and her family. That’s the important thing. R.I.P. Miss Phoebe Prince. You are in MY prayers. <3
School bullying is terrible and cruel. But is it a crime? | Get Schooled
April 9th, 2010
1:11 am
[...] earlier blogs here on bullying, many of you have applauded the Massachusetts prosecutor’s filing of felony charges against [...]
Rossi
April 9th, 2010
10:59 am
I was so moved by the Phoebe prince story
that i decided to reveal my own story on my site http://www.rossirant.com
i guess the story of mean girls is not knew
but after seeing what the victims of bullies can resort too
self violence like phoebe or violence directed towards others
like columbine
isn’t it about time for schools to make a mandatory class in non bullying
the same way corporations make sexual harrassment courses mandatory
phoebe should not have died in vain
Mother Of 2 daughters
April 12th, 2010
8:59 am
First I would like to say that may Phoebe Prince rest in peace and may god be with her family at this time. Then I’d like to say to all of you that think this is no big deal and this is not serious:
This is a big deal, this girl is dead now. Wake up! look at how kids act now, things are not like how they use to be back then. With all the technology and cell phones it actually makes bulling worse than back then. For anyone that says you have to ignore it you are just CRAZY! First of all the girl had just moved here, that alone is hard itself (especially moving to a totally different country), second of all this had been going on for months before she killed herself, and third of all her mother told the school.
Those kids that stood by not saying anything and those teachers that were aware should take this as a lesson learned and next time say something. Anyone that sees this going on somewhere should stand up and say something and then actions need to be taken.
I work in a hospital and I see all types of people each day. And there are people that have mental problems and have other issues and alot of it has to deal with things that happened in their past. These kids that made this girls life a living hell really messed with her mental state.
So of course shes not going to be thinking how all of you people think, she was probably depressed and was at her breaking point. So don’t try to sit there and say just ignore it, she couldn’t have ignored it with the messed up girls that were sitting there texting and writing her on facebook. how do you ignore something from school when you have to hear about it while you are at home too.
I really hope these kids go to jail, and hope they learn their lesson. This was way out of hand, and someone should of stepped in and took action. Maybe once those kids have spent time in jail they will then have second thoughts on what they do in the future and how they treat people.
Some of you have no heart what so ever, you say its just another kid killing themself, its a persons life! whats wrong with you. Maybe you feel its not a big deal because you didn’t know her, but what if that happened to one of your kids, or someone you really loved? I’m sure you would then be saying something totally different. Have some respect for this girl, and respect for yourself, stop making yourself look like a heartless person and not write anything on here if you don’t have anything respectful to say.
Dan
April 12th, 2010
4:27 pm
You know what, I think this was all racism plain and simple. If she had been a Hispanic or whatever tropical island immigrant she would have been accepted immediatly among the rest of the students or at least would have had more people standing up for her. not to mention the administration would have bent over backwards to protect her from bullying out of fear that a special interest group would go after them. but nope she’s from Ireland not the type they r use to and no special interest group to bail her out. so she’s an easy target. god the system is f@#cked
David Green
April 21st, 2010
5:44 am
Had the victim been a young teenage male (who commit suicide at five times the rate of teenage girls) instead of being a female would this case have even made national news? I don’t think so! What this case highlights most of all is how our society can’t abide anything bad happening or being done to a female while caring not one wit about males…
Mimi
April 23rd, 2010
11:48 pm
I was bullied as a child and my experience was that the parents of the bullies were usually bullies themselves–that’s where the kids learned their behavior. Some teachers are bullies or sympathetic with the bullies. Part of it is that our society condones violence and aggression. Kind, sensitive people are viewed as “weak.” Studies also show that bullies typically have poor communication and social skills. They’re often insecure and feel threatened by their victims who may be perceived as prettier or smarter. The bully sees him/herself as the victim as he/she feels threatened by the good qualities the victim possesses. Teaching bullies how to ventilate their anger in a productive and positive way and teaching them to develop a healthy self-esteem and better communication skills would go a long way in stopping bullying behavior. The victim needs to learn assertiveness skills and to not need approval from other people. Parents and teachers of bullies who do nothing to stop the behavior should be punished–not the kids. Kids just don’t know any better. They learn from us adults. When I was a kid, the parents of the bullies who attacked me would threaten my parents if they tried to stand up for me. The teachers allowed the bullying to happen and seemed to sympathize with the bullies. Again, this is a problem with our society, that we are taught that aggressive, bullying behavior is a sign of strength and that the shy kid who’s being victimized is “weak” ’cause he or she isn’t aggressively defending him/herself. Rather than jail the kids who bullied poor Phoebe to death, we should penalize the parents and teachers involved and teach the bullies proper social and communication skills. Jailing them will only give them the opportunity to learn more bullying behavior. They’ll come out of jail more violent and dangerous to the community.
Teresa
April 27th, 2010
12:20 am
What a terrible shame for Phoebe and her family. To have your entire life uprooted, to move not to another town, or city, but a new country, away from everything familiar. That would be tough on me and I’m a grown up. The teens that tormented Phoebe until she took her own life, it is tragic, it is what these teens wanted, what they told her to do. To live in fear every day, I cannot imagine the torment she went through, or that her family is suffering now. Where were the bullies parents? They really fell down, because they knew.
wildeagle
June 17th, 2010
12:15 pm
Bullies are stinking yellow dog cowards who deserve to fry in hell for all eternity for making other people’s lives hell. Bullying goes on and on and on because lots of times it’s the victims, not the bullies who get the blame. I was told to “just ignore the bullies” But the abuse kept going day after day after day on that stinking school bus. The old fart bus driver did NOTHING to stop his bus from being splattered with soggy spit wads. He turned a blind eye to the physical assaults (including being hit on the head with a club). Bullies know they won’t get suspended or put off the bus. They rely on victims for cheap entertainment. But their butts will be barbecued in the Lake of Fire someday, and I take comfort in God’s promise of perfect justice.
New Yorker
August 12th, 2010
1:58 pm
Well you know hearing stuff about this is truly heart breaking. I’m only fourteen years old and I can tell what kind of pain this poor girl was experiencing. I have ancestors from Ireland and I visit there often. Hearing the words “Irish Slut” (One name Phoebe had been called based on her nationality. I found that out in a Fox article) hurt me on the inside because there are so many nice,pleasant and outgoing Irish people in Ireland and now the United States. You could tell by just looking Phoebe and hearing what her parents had to say about her in other articles you could tell she’d live up to be somebody. There are so many people to blame…. Those teenagers,teachers,principals etc.. But you know when I was younger I was faced with bullying and went to the guidance department but no action was taken. TRAGIC
Its like a stab in the heart hearing a story like this. As I,and many others go through our stage as a teenager you have a feeling you might have been able to do something to prevent the outcome. Though I don’t live anywhere near Massachusetts and I didn’t know Phoebe at all I still feel I could have done something…..
At the age of 15 you are looking to find your inner self. Guys like me don’t really care when something is said about you but hearing negative comments can destroy a girl. Phoebe experieced this everyday and it killed her.
Its hard to admit this because I’m a guy but the first time I saw articles and pictures of Phoebe I cried. Phoebe may you rest in peace. I love you.
Patricia
September 2nd, 2010
11:55 am
Bullies made my life absolute hell in high school. always last to be chosen in PE, no one wanted to sit with me in assembly or at lunch, insulted, called a disease to be stamped out, tacks in my chair, etc. It’s a deadly sin to have an unusual last name or to be twenty pounds overweight or have frizzy hair. I was called nasty names by a tall skinny creep, Mike Crapp, (name fictitious). I was DAILY attacked on the school bus and nobody did anything about it. My self-confidence was down in the toilet. I’m very smart but took jobs beneath my intelligence, because I didn’t want to interact much with people Once bitten, twice shy. I hope the monsters who hurt me got a good smacking themselves later in life. Bullies are stinking yellow dog cowards too scared to fight fairly, they usually run in packs like dogs and soil on every beautiful thing they see. The kids who drove poor Phoebe to her grave are murderers in the sight of God and they will burn in hell for it if they don’t repent and accept Christ as Savior.
http://waronbullying.tripod.com