Last dance: School nixes prom rather than allow lesbian date
Canceling the senior prom rather than allow a lesbian student to wear a tux and take a female date seems an extraordinary overreaction on the part of a rural Mississippi school district.
I am not sure who the school officials were trying to protect. Even in small-town Mississippi, high school seniors are aware of and probably unfazed by gay and lesbian classmates. And the sight of a female classmate in a tux would not cause anyone to swoon. (Now, I have seen some revealing prom dresses that would make my grandmother faint dead away.)
As a nation, we are debating whether gay and lesbian couples can legally marry. I would think we’d be long over whether they could go to the prom first.
I put this over-blown episode in the same category as the teenage boy who wanted to wear the wig and heels to high school. It’s a big world with all kinds of people. If they are not shooting at each other in school, let them be.
Here is the very well done AP story by Shelia Byrd: (For me, the wisest quote in the story is this one: McKenzie Chaney, 16, said she wasn’t planning to attend the prom, but “it’s kind of ridiculous that they can’t let her wear the tuxedo and it all be over with.”
JACKSON, Miss. — An 18-year-old Mississippi lesbian student whose school district canceled her senior prom rather than allow her to escort her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo said she got some unfriendly looks from classmates when she reluctantly returned to campus Thursday.
Constance McMillen said she didn’t want to go back the day after the Itawamba County school board’s decision, but her father told her she needed to face her classmates, teachers and school officials.
“My daddy told me that I needed to show them that I’m still proud of who I am,” McMillen told The Associated Press in a telephone interview. “The fact that this will help people later on, that’s what’s helping me to go on.”
The district announced Wednesday it wouldn’t host the April 2 prom. The decision came after the American Civil Liberties Union told officials a policy banning same-sex prom dates violated students’ rights. The ACLU said the district not letting McMillen wear a tuxedo violated her free expression rights.
McMillen said she felt some hostility toward her on the Itawamba County Agricultural High School campus.
“Somebody said, ‘Thanks for ruining my senior year.’” McMillen said.
The school board issued a statement announcing it wouldn’t host the event in Fulton, “due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events.”
The statement didn’t mention McMillen or the ACLU. When asked by the AP if McMillen’s demand led to the cancellation, school board attorney Michele Floyd said she could only reference the statement.
“I guess they would rather do that than what’s right, what’s constitutionally correct,” McMillen said.
Same-sex prom dates and cross-dressing are new issues for many high schools around the country, said Daryl Presgraves, a spokesman for GLSEN: Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, a Washington-based advocacy group.
“A lot of schools actually react rather than do the research and find out what the rights of these students are,” said Presgraves, who was preparing to facilitate a discussion about anti-gay bullying at a National Association of Secondary School Principals meeting.
The school district had said it hoped a privately sponsored prom could be held. McMillen said if that happens, she’s sure she’ll be excluded.
“It’s a small town in Mississippi, and it’s run by an older generation with money. Most of them are more conservative and they don’t agree with it,” she said.
Fulton Mayor Paul Walker said he supports the school district’s decision and knew of no private efforts to host the prom.
“I think the community as a whole is probably in support of the school district,” Walker said of the town of about 4,000.
Itawamba County is a rural area of about 23,000 people in north Mississippi near the Alabama state line. It’s near Pontotoc County, Miss., where more than a decade ago school officials were sued in federal court over their practice of student-led intercom prayer and Bible classes.
A couple of students had different reactions to the decision.
Anna Watson, a 17-year-old junior at the high school, was looking forward to the prom, especially since the town’s only hotspot is the bowling alley, she said.
“I am a little bummed out about it. I guess it’s a decision that had to be made. Either way someone was going to get disappointed — either Constance was or we were,” Watson said. “I don’t agree with homosexuality, but I can’t change what another person thinks or does.”
McKenzie Chaney, 16, said she wasn’t planning to attend the prom, but “it’s kind of ridiculous that they can’t let her wear the tuxedo and it all be over with.”
A Feb. 5 memo to students laid out the criteria for bringing a date to the prom, and one requirement was that the person must be of the opposite sex.
Presgraves said his organization hears about school districts that prohibit same-sex prom dates and gay-straight alliance clubs at schools. He said those kind of policies are detrimental to gay students.
“It sends a message that these students shouldn’t be treated the same,” Presgraves said.
Tell us what you think about the site
Customer Care »
Vacation stops, manage subscriptions and more
AJC Services
Sections
Other Editions
Guides
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement
© 2011 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
29 comments Add your comment
Philosopher
March 12th, 2010
6:40 am
This was a ridiculous decision, but a typical Mississippian one. God love the south! Homosexuality isn’t going to go away and we’d best learn that. But proms in general are a total waste of money, and time. When proms began, we had a society that had frequent formal events and proms were a way to teach kids to dress and act in those situations. Rarely are such events held in real life now (except for fund raising and such) We don’t need them and especially now when 10% of the population is jobless, that use of money is absurd. Limousines and $500 dresses while the guys wear junk is such a farce! End proms along with sports programs until the financial environment can handle them, instead of teacher layoffs and education cuts. Where ARE our priorities?!!
The General
March 12th, 2010
7:02 am
I see the population of stupid school administrators seems to be spread evenly throughout the country…
V for Vendetta
March 12th, 2010
7:52 am
Unfortunately, ignorance seems to reign supreme down here in the South. As I’ve mentioned before, it saddens me, as a native southerner, to see so much hatred and bigotry in a place that prides itself on being so religious. Who does these girls hurt by attending the prom? Answer: NO ONE.
The fact that such closed-minded people are allowed to weild any sort of power over the populace is mind-blowing. These types of people should be confined to the corners and alleys metaphorically synonymous with their way of thinking–not running school districts or making laws. They should be relagated to the fringe of society where they belong–not listened to by others for advice and counsel.
But what do we expect? Education is our weapon against such ignorance, and our education system is in shambles. Why wouldn’t the zealots want it that way? It provides them a steady stream of tabula rasa minds to infect with their ignorant views. If we have any hope of reclaiming the values on which this country was founded–which were NOT Christian values, by the way–we have to stand up and make it clear to those simple-minded fools that this is no longer acceptable. Atheists, Agnostics, Secular Humanists, Deists, and Moderate Christian, Jews, and Muslims need to declare an end to hatred and bigotry. They need to toss extremism, fundamentalism, and plain hatred out of their respective belief systems, leaving tolerance, reason and logic to fill the void.
I’m done with stories like this. I don’t care if your belief system says that homosexuality is a sin. I offer no respect to you for believing such ignorant tripe. The best you can hope for from me is indifference. The worst is rage. Although I am open-minded, I will not stand by and let others be victimized by the antiquated stupidity of a dusty old book, written by men, interpreted by men, and used by men to subvert the rights of people they don’t agree with.
If you feel as I do, I would ask that you no longer tolerate the hatred and ignorance you see around you on a daily basis. Rather, I would ask that you fight it tooth and nail. Give our children a chance to grow up in a world where people respect others’ individual rights. There is no book or tablet or code that can tell you how to live.
There is only your mind.
V for Vendetta
March 12th, 2010
7:52 am
filter fishing again?
RJ
March 12th, 2010
8:07 am
This is a public school event and the school system cannot create rules which violates a student’s rights. What are these “public servants” thinking?
Lee
March 12th, 2010
8:35 am
That’s nothing. Wait until your 20th class reunion and one of your classmates shows up after a sex change….
“Hey. Who’s the hot chick with the huge tata’s?”
“That’s Fred. Remember him? President of the drama club.”
After about 8-10 drinks……
“Dang, Fred’s looking reeaallll gooood. Maybe I should ask him to dance….”
RJ
March 12th, 2010
8:41 am
@V, you insist on insulting Christians for their beliefs because it goes against what you “believe”. We all get it…you hate Christianity.
“If you feel as I do, I would ask that you no longer tolerate the hatred and ignorance you see around you on a daily basis. Rather, I would ask that you fight it tooth and nail. Give our children a chance to grow up in a world where people respect others’ individual rights.”
What have you done for your community lately? I am active on two non-profit boards. You can find me at rallies/events regarding healthcare, job creation and public school issues. I volunteer at community events and dare I say Church events where we help the homeless and needy. I provide free classes to at risk youth during the summer months at a local camp. You’re right, our children should grow up in a world where people respect others individual rights. What have you done to bring about that change?
Philosopher
March 12th, 2010
9:06 am
@RJ : Not sure why you assume this was a decision based on Christianity…I don’t see that in the article. Why would you assume “Christians” made that decision as opposed to simple homophobes. I am a Christian, too, and I believe God loves and does not ostracize ANY of his children. If you will remember, Jesus hung out with all the “low lifes” of that time…making a statement. And what are we going to say for ourselves when genetic testing is finally able to prove that homosexual tendencies are created in genetic processes? Let me guess…dump it in there with evolution, global warming,etc.?
s
March 12th, 2010
9:16 am
This was a bad decision. So they rather make all the students suffer over this, just plain stupid. Homosexuality isn’t going anywhere, so they just ruined these students senior year for nothing.
Booklover
March 12th, 2010
9:39 am
No wonder we have a problem with bullying in schools… school boards prove again and again that they are just elected bullies.
This story is sad, sad, sad, and I hope this student and the ACLU clean out this district. How embarrassing for Mississippi, though having lived in the south for most of my adult life, I know that many southerners are proud of their bigoted, hateful attitudes when they should be ashamed to call themselves Americans (and/or Christians)!
V for Vendetta
March 12th, 2010
9:41 am
RJ,
Perhaps you didn’t grasp the theme of my rant: This type of ignorance should not be tolerated by thinking, caring, and compassionate individuals. The fact that much of the hatred towards gays stems from the three monotheistic religions is just ONE example of religious intolerance standing in the way of individual rights. However, you might also notice that in my call to other like-minded individuals, I included “moderate” Christians, Jews, and Muslims. By moderate, I simply mean those individuals who are open-minded enough to understand that we live in a changing world, and, if one is to remain loyal to his faith, one must concede that his faith must also change to reflect contemporary society. Though Philosopher and I often disagree, we seem to be in agreement on this point. Pretending that homosexuality is nothing more than an irrational choice or a virus that can be cured is so ignorant to be laughable. Most people who claim such things have never even bothered to befriend a gay person, much less attempt to understand them.
I don’t want to get into a community service battle with you. I am active in my community, give generously to Goodwill, and participate in Relay for Life (and many other anti-cancer events). My reason is simple: I consider those to be values in my life, and I pick my charitable causes using reason and logic–not at the behest of some sort of spiritual command and guilt-ridden sense of duty.
My response to your last question is easy. I am a teacher. I try to instill open-mindedness and tolerance in all of my students. Contrary to what you might believe, I do not engage in lengthy polemics on the subject of religion. I try to help my students understand that people are people–and that the only moral way to judge them is by their merits as a person.
This has nothing to do with color.
This has nothing to do with sexual preference.
But it has everything to do with character.
Booklover
March 12th, 2010
9:42 am
A parallel I can draw here is the continued fight in some quarters against interracial relationships. What about that Georgia school district that was in the news last year because they still hold two proms, one for white kids and one for black kids?
Our laws (14th amendment, the ideal of “pursuit of happiness”, the very definition of “democracy”) protect everyone equally. Shame on the school board for willfully violating the law.
RJ
March 12th, 2010
10:26 am
@Philosopher, please re-read my initial post. I never said the decision was made by Christians. My second response was to @V’s comments.
V for Vendetta
March 12th, 2010
10:37 am
Man, the filter is after me today.
Lisa B.
March 12th, 2010
10:47 am
What a shame to punish all the students. If a few people were so against the girls attending the dance, they could have had their own kids miss the prom. As a parent, I’ve made choices against allowing my child to participate in certain activities. I would never impose my choices on other children.
Mark W
March 12th, 2010
11:23 am
Sometimes we cant get out of our own way. This applies to both sides of this issue. If the girls had just kept their mouths shut and shown up like any other respectable couple without making a scene, we probably would have never even heard about this. At the same time, if the administration would not have tried to show their ass and make a pointed effort to push that a couple should be made up of only opposite sex duos, we probably would have never heard about this.
Bottom line. If either side had not tried to ram their sexual preferences down the others throats, we would not have this discussion.
I choose not to be gay. If I don’t want to look at a gay couple, I turn my head. I don’t try to conform gay people to my beliefs, and I don’t expect them to try to conform me. I do like to eat pork rinds. But I don’t try to make the whole world eat them. Or bend, so I can eat them.
It’s very simple.
KD
March 12th, 2010
11:37 am
KUDOS to the administration board. Same sex marriages should NEVER be legal. If you are a female, then you should wear a dress. If you are a male, then you should wear a tux !!!!
drew (former teacher)
March 12th, 2010
11:42 am
Mark W’s got it right…some folks are just too bent to bend.
But I’m sure the decision makers here will feel pretty good about taking care of the “homosexual problem” in Itawamba County. BWAH!!
David S
March 12th, 2010
12:14 pm
Any chance anyone would care this much if a private business, who had made their business policies clear to all who purchased their services, had done such a thing? I think not. As an example, nobody would be shocked if this happened at a Catholic school. Socialism only fosters and exascerbates the differences in our society. Private voluntary associations allow for the diversity and do not penalize everyone by forcing them to participate either financially or otherwise.
catlady
March 12th, 2010
12:23 pm
“The school board issued a statement announcing it wouldn’t host the event in Fulton, “due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events.”
Well, obviously they have never put on a heterosexual prom before, because if they had they would know that any prom provides “distractions to the educational process.”
At least neither of the girls involved would be getting pregnant on prom night…
RJ
March 12th, 2010
1:30 pm
“I consider those to be values in my life, and I pick my charitable causes using reason and logic–not at the behest of some sort of spiritual command and guilt-ridden sense of duty.”
Again, you preach tolerance,yet you have none for those that don’t “believe” what you “believe”. Amazing. This isn’t about whether or not someone accepts homosexuality, this is about YOUR tolerance of
“…others’ individual rights.”
If you participate in community service that is a step in the right direction to bring about change. However to continually slam those of us that believe in the teachings “…of a dusty old book” as you put it. That dusty old book is my guide for how I choose to live my life. I don’t pass judgement on anyone that thinks differently. Matthew 7:1 Judge not lest ye be judged.
Have a blessed weekend…
V for Vendetta
March 12th, 2010
2:23 pm
RJ,
A little testy, are we? If I come across as intolerant of religion, it is simply because religion gives me so much of which to be intolerant. As I have repeatedly pointed out, I have no problem with those who keep their various beliefs to themselves–indeed I rarely announce my own beliefs (or lack thereof) unless asked or provoked. I also went out of my way to include without ridicule Christians, Jews, and Muslims who are willing to be open-minded and accepting of others–even if it goes against what is printed in the Bible, Pentateuch, or Koran.
It might surprise you, but I have nothing against you, RJ. You have given me no reason to suspect that you are anything other than one of those open-minded people. Your first response to this post was fair and made logical sense of the situation. You have never proselyitized on this blog or given me any reason to personally attack you. However, if you are going to call yourself a member of a faith that includes people who would ridicule, condemn, and vilify others for something they can’t control and is their individual business, then you must accept the baggage that comes with it. My sister, who is a devout Christian, often tells me that such people aren’t “good Christians” and “give the rest of us a bad name.” I find her point of view odd considering, in my opinion, there seems to be an ENORMOUS number of Christians (and Jews, and Muslims) who are content to foist their beliefs on others because they find their beliefs superior. Judge not indeed . . .
I have never heard of such bigotry and intolerance from any atheist or agnostic. I doubt if I ever will.
DeKalb Conservative
March 12th, 2010
4:54 pm
That does it! If I was in the that town I’d be protesting to review the computers of the administration. I say this sarcastically, because the irony of it is that I’m 100% certain you’ll find at least some evidence of lesbian porn present.
Frankly scarlett
March 12th, 2010
6:47 pm
The world is going to HELL in a handbasket, and you guys are wasting your anger, and energy on two confused little school girls WHOOOOO CARES !!!? GET A LIFE PEOPLE !!!
magi
March 12th, 2010
8:14 pm
A Mr. Cummings in New Orleans, LA, has offered the use of one of his properties to these students for their prom. He is also paying for it.
I see the incorrect application of the term socialism here again. This incident has is NOT related to socialism. The Miriam Webster Dictionary defines socialism as:
Any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or government ownership and distribution of the means of production and distribution of goods.
No mention of religion is in this definition, only political and economic theory is mentioned.
magi
March 12th, 2010
8:15 pm
***is NOT***
ga
March 13th, 2010
2:01 pm
so let me ask – in this district could you have attended the prom if you didn’t have a date – if you were going stag?
A gay prom date won’t be last dance in Georgia county | Get Schooled
March 23rd, 2010
1:44 pm
[...] Georgia will be spared the legal wrangling, the news show debates and the national hoopla occurring in Mississippi because a school system there canceled its senior prom rather than allow a female student to wear a tux and bring [...]
A gay prom date won’t be last dance in Georgia county » iThinkEducation.net!
April 4th, 2010
12:47 am
[...] Georgia will be spared the legal wrangling, the news show debates and the national hoopla occurring in Mississippi because a school system there canceled its senior prom rather than allow a female student to wear a tux and bring [...]