Please excuse Lisa. “She was sick and I had her shot.”

I found this fun list of excuses for why kids miss school last week but was trying to trace its source. It is often attributed to the University of Washington, but I called the college and it did not originate there. I e-mailed the creator of the wonderful blog, The Mother of All Excuses Place, but he said, ” I found it posted in a bunch of places on the Internet back in 1999 when I started the website. I’m really don’t know the source. ”

So sans a source, here are some of the excuses sent to schools to explain student absences. (This connects to the posting a few steps down about perfect attendance awards.)

My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.