The slap heard around the newsroom and now the world
I walked into the office Wednesday morning surrounded by angry mothers over this story about a stranger who walked up and slapped a crying toddler in a Stone Mountain Wal-Mart. The child’s crying apparently bothered the man.
My co-workers are outraged over the man’s action, an outrage I understand and share. One of my co-workers said that if this guy had slapped her child, two adults would be in jail today.
Their indignation made me wonder about our debate on this blog a few weeks ago about corporal punishment and paddling in school.
Doesn’t it just make sense for all of us to keep our hands off of other people’s children?
(Please note that this has proven to be an emotional topic and there are more than 1,000 comments, some of which fall into the wild-eyed category. May I also remind people to leave out the obscenities. I have had to delete dozens of comments.)
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1,084 comments Add your comment
Tom
September 2nd, 2009
10:42 am
I am opposed to corporal punishment in schools or the home. I never spanked my own children and despite warnings from my elders at the time, they have grown into very respectful, well behaved young adults. BUT having said that, I don’t think you can draw a comparison between a stranger losing his temper and repeatedly slapping a 2 year old in a Walmart and corporal punishment as a legal, sanctioned form of discipline in the schools.
Old School
September 2nd, 2009
10:51 am
In my opinion, it is never right for a stranger to slap a crying child. I am just as alarmed at parents who are oblivious to their children when out shopping or in other public places. Too often the child is tired, hungry, hot and cannot express their discomfort in anyway other than tears and wailing. The annoyed parent either ignores the child or gets angry at him/her. Perhaps if more parents of young children who much take them on errands did so at the child’s pace, there would be fewer incidences of strangers even wishing they could stop the wailing.
As far as corporal punishment at school, I have see it administered with positive results and with no change in behavior. I personally have found other discipline methods that worked well for me as a parent and as an instructor. Each must discover what works with best desired results and least harm.
Nate
September 2nd, 2009
10:59 am
Spare the rod, spoil the child. Although, I do spank my kids when they get out of hand I DO NOT condone what this guy did to a 2 year old…If I was that child’s parent I swear that guy would’ve had a serious can of whoop @ss opened all over him and I would’ve been in jail still whoopin’ his @ss. I am a firm believer in my first statement in this response though. Just my opinion and everybody has one, but I started letting my kids know their boundaries early and I ease up as they mature and consistently show good decision making habits. As far as corporal punishment in schools, I have to admit, teachers had far less behavorial problems with students back then when I was in grade school but I think spanking should be left to the parents because there also were those occurrences where spanking got out of hand in schools.
mdowney
September 2nd, 2009
10:59 am
Tom,
The only connection is that the incident raises the broader question to me: Should anyone physically discipline a child other than their own?
I have no problem with a stranger correcting my children in a store if my kids are pulling toys off the shelf or trying to climb on a display.
Nor do I have a problem with a stranger telling my children that they are talking too loudly in a library. The problem occurs when a stranger goes beyond verbal reprimands and puts his/her hands on a child. (Although there are situations when a stranger yanking a child back from the brink of danger should be applauded.)
Whether sanctioned by the school, I still think marching a child to the office so a principal or assistant principal can paddle them is dangerous and detrimental policy.
That was my point.
Aubrey
September 2nd, 2009
11:03 am
I am absolutely enraged by this story. Sometimes it has nothing to do with whether we are running errands at our child’s pace. My child is 18 months old and she simply hates to be made to sit in cart. I don’t ignore cries but i calmly talk to her through the store (at this point i usually resort to putting her in an ERGO on my back which is perfectly content to do). If someone dared lay a hand on my child, they would not have gotten a second slap in and I don’t think I would be in jail either. That should fall under self defense. If he hit this 2 year old hard enough to leave a mark on her face he should also be charged with assault. A grocery store is a public place. This man is probably the same type of person who would have gotten in my face for nursing my child in her carrier in the store when she was younger. Ridiculous.
Tired Mom
September 2nd, 2009
11:08 am
My child, who is brain damaged, has had meltdowns in a store before. We try not to take her shopping but sometimes it can’t be avoided. We don’t take her out to eat to the movies or other events. Strangers do become hostile, glare and make comments. They should know how difficult life can be with a special needs child before they judge us as bad parents because a toddler is crying. Unless they want to help, they should just leave it alone and keep their attitudes to themselves. I have been afraid of some of the strangers that have made terrible remarks…..
Karen
September 2nd, 2009
11:09 am
I am like the other blogger..If that had been my child there would be two in jail right now..
jim d
September 2nd, 2009
11:12 am
Q– Doesn’t it just make sense for all of us to keep our hands off of other people’s children?
A– Hell yes
Lucy
September 2nd, 2009
11:17 am
Parents need to be more responsible for their crying children. Parents do not teach their kids to behave in public. It is very fraustrating to shop when you have crying kids and the parents hear them but do NOTHING about it. TAKE THEM OUT OF THE STORE LADY.
Meme
September 2nd, 2009
11:19 am
And if this grandmother had been there when the stranger slapped her child there would be at least 3 people in jail. I hated spanking in school and only did it once. It did hurt me more than it hurt them. I had parents who requested that I spank their children, but I couldn’t do it.
Michelle
September 2nd, 2009
11:22 am
I don’t even touch students if they fall asleep! A parent will NEVER have the opportunity to ask me “why I put my hands on their precious angel.”
This man just snapped and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent, but, I do understand. Just last week, my teenager and I were in Target and there was a little boy about 3 or 4 years old who was just SCREAMING at the top of his lungs because he wanted his mother to buy him some toy. I told my son that if that were him – we would’ve taken a trip to the restroom by now! Now, when we got in line, the little boy pushed the cart onto the back of my foot. I turned around and told this poor excuse of a parent to please take control of the cart so I won’t get hit with it again. She looked like she didn’t know what I was talking about. Anyway – I (for a brief moment) wanted to slap the crap out of the mother and the child!
Chris
September 2nd, 2009
11:23 am
Well to be honest parents today dont know how to keep there children in check. There is nothing more annoying then a child crying at a restaurnt or in line at a store. Im 28 and when I was growing up we never wee unruly, then again being from New York we had a little more class. If you cant parent your child, then dont take them out in public! The man warned the mother and I think he did the shoppers and the child a service, but then again what did he expect at Wal-Mart
Colleen
September 2nd, 2009
11:31 am
I love how people from New York have a false sense of superiority. Get over yourself, Chris.
Jimmy Hoffadul
September 2nd, 2009
11:33 am
Please don’t use New York and class in the same paragraph. They are opposites.
Explain yourself
September 2nd, 2009
11:35 am
Did you mean to say “we never PEE unruly?
Maureen's accountability metric
September 2nd, 2009
11:36 am
Maureen, you’re probably going to say I’m splitting hairs here, but I think your choice of words is very telling, perhaps in ways even you haven’t thought about. The question is, after reading this, will you be willing to consider this issue from a different paradigm?
Maureen I submit to you that indeed it makes sense to not hit other people’s children. But do we really want an over correction Maureen, where we are saying “keep our hands off of other people’s children”?
Do we really want a child to feel he can be completely insubordinate to the teacher, scream at his classmates, curse his teacher, yet the teacher be limited in her responses because if she attempts to escort the student out of the room, administration may not support her because she merely touched the child?
Do we really want situations like this to occur? Unfortunately they are already a common occurance, because the child knows through experience the teacher feels her options are limited, and thus the child will continue his tirade for five to ten minutes, even more, in those cases where administration is nowhere to be found.
What has been totally lost in the discussion of corporal punishment is that the above scenarios present real decisions teachers have to wrestle with everyday, because we aren’t willing, out of fear, to take a common sense approach to supporting our teachers.
Maureen, do you really want to empower students in this way? Because, I submit to you, when you chose words like “keep our hands off of other people’s children” you are indeed empowering them in this way, even if you aren’t consciously aware of it.
I submit to you Maureen that your choice of words “keep our hands off” is indicative of a mindset that has become so pervasive in our society, that we aren’t even consciously aware of it.
It’s a mindset that has made such an over correction to the abuses of the past, that has lead to real life consequences of students screaming, cursing, and in other ways disrupting learning because they have been empowered to play the “If you touch me I’ll sue” card by school systems who will not support the teacher.
And that Maureen, I submit to you, is a much bigger issue than the Wal Malt customer who got mad as heck and couldn’t take it any more.
TailaMarie
September 2nd, 2009
11:37 am
Slapping another person’s child is inexcusable. However, in most these cases, the parent was against it and did not give permission. In the case of corporal punishment in many schools a waiver or permission form must be signed by the parent. If it is not signed then the worst that child recieves as punishment is probably detention. Corporal punishment works for some kids, not for others.
My husband and I are having our first child in October. We have discussed and decided that spanking can and will be part of our parenting skill set *provided it prove effective*. We however would never spank another person’s child *unless* that child were left in our care and the parents had given us permission, or stated that it was acceptable as punishment to them.
The Facts
September 2nd, 2009
11:48 am
It is never acceptable to hit a child– one’s own or someone else’s. Those who feel the need to resort to this are quite frankly unsocialized and behave like wild animals.
Breeze
September 2nd, 2009
11:49 am
@Lucy – That’s easier said than done. If I’m shopping and I’m almost done I’ll surely try my best to do something about my crying child but I’ll be damned if I’m going to walk out the store only to have to come back in to start over.
@Aubrey thanks for your comment. My youngest is 11mos and I have to not only shop with her in the shopping cart along with my 3yo, I have to entertain while doing so.
Children cry to express themselves (pain, anger, boredom, what have you) but hitting them will not end with silence. Who thinks that to quiet a child you hit? What genius came up with that.
Corporal punishment. Nope. Not my child. I teach respect. If there’s a problem. Call me or their father. My relatives don’t hit my children. I spank them if/when needed. (@ Nate) I do believe if you spare the rod you spoil the child but i also believe you have to teach manners. But a crying two year old doesn’t need to be hit/slapped/spanked or whatever.
What I fail to understand is how this man got close enough to this person’s child to hit him/her. If a person made that statement to me, there would have been a problem so my crying child wouldn’t have even been an issue at that point.
And another thing, if a crying 2yo can push you to the brink of actually hitting him/her (especially if it’s not your child) who’s to say what you’ll do to an adult that pisses you off.
To say I’m outraged by this man’s audacity to hit another’s child is an understatement. I share the sentiments of many others…if no need for ambulance or coroner, he’d be in jail with me.
what's right for kids???
September 2nd, 2009
11:50 am
It is the parent’s responsibility to keep the child under control. In this case, the store should have intervened and asked the mother to leave. My family and I were at dinner, and our daughter decided to throw the mother of all fits. We did what responsible parents do: one of us took her to the car and the other asked that the meal be boxed up to take home. Had we not done that, I would have expected the manager to ask us to leave in no uncertain terms.
The man had no excuse to hit anyone, but the parent had no excuse to keep her child in a store when the child is unruly and out of control.
oldtimer
September 2nd, 2009
11:52 am
Slapping or hitting someone else’s child is assalt. Spankings in schools used to work well. Two licks by an administrator resulted in imprved behavior. But, then a phone call home was usually better.
Saying that I absolutely hate to people out eating, shopping, sitting on a plane and so on with screaming children. It actually hurts my ears. When my on were young there weere many times we packed up food or left a store because mine were having a melt down. Parents need to pick good times for their children and understand not everyone loves their screaming or yelling cuties.
Breeze
September 2nd, 2009
11:52 am
@Chris I assume you do not have children.
@Michelle, you are funny. I would have been ticked too. There are parents who don’t seem to care or are oblivious to their children.
Connie Jenkins
September 2nd, 2009
11:55 am
The man is out of his mind. Everyone knows that for a 2 or 3 year old to have a screaming fit is normal. You can always spot a two year old by their behavior.
My children are all grown now but they were taught at an early age how to behave in public. They were not the center of everyone’s attention.
Bill
September 2nd, 2009
11:56 am
If people would keep their spoiled, lazy, rude kids under control and teach them respect and good manners, then things like this would not happen. Most people do not need to have kids!! I do not want to hear kids in airplanes, stores, movies, or anywhere else where inside voices and manners should be followed.
Get a Life
September 2nd, 2009
11:57 am
I applaud the man for slapping the crumbsnatcher. If his mother would have busted his butt more often he wouldn’t act that way. I slapped my son many times and to this day he knows I’ll do it again. By the way he is 21 years old. Grow up pansies. You own your child they don’t own you
MrDan
September 2nd, 2009
11:57 am
Way to go Mr. Stephens. You may have saved this child from growing up and being a whiny democrat.
Serene Lloyd
September 2nd, 2009
11:57 am
Apparently the man had issues……serious issues. This is the very reason why I am opposed to corporal punishment. I have no insight to what the person delivering the punishment may be going through on any given day. This man was apparently taking his frustrations out on an innocent child. I’m not having that. I am 45 and I grew up with corporal punishment and it ticked me off when my brother would get into trouble and get paddled by the principle. He has serious issues to this very day. I am almost certain him be disciplined by a stranger is partly responsible for his anger management issues.
GG
September 2nd, 2009
11:58 am
I would have gone to jail along with the suspect that day because if he would have slapped my child, I might would have attempted to literally almost kill the guy.
Breeze
September 2nd, 2009
12:00 pm
@what’s right for kids??? There are situations when this needs to be done. And I commend you for doing the right thing.
We were at dinner with our daughter (an infant at the time, now 3yo). I didn’t agree with it because she was colicky but we went nonetheless. And just as I thought she got really fussy. Now although we were in a private area, I was more than ready to leave and refused to walk across the restaurant with a crying baby (my first baby…still hormonal myself). So after a few eye rolls at daddy who seemed oblivious we made an early departure which I felt was necessary.
Now there are many crying babies at Wal-Mart. The parents that should be asked to leave are those of 6, 7, 8 yo’s that throw temper tantrums because they aren’t getting their way. But if it goes that far, that a parent has to be asked to leave the store, their may actually be a problem…with the parent and/or child.
GG
September 2nd, 2009
12:00 pm
Bob, your a typical red neck.
Bob...silly man
September 2nd, 2009
12:04 pm
20 bucks says the kid crying at the Walmart was a white kid.
chris watson
September 2nd, 2009
12:04 pm
I would love to have been there….I can 100% assure you he would have gone to the hospital with an extended stay before having his worthless a** hauled to jail. In most circumstances I don’t condone violence but I will say there are times when someone just needs their a** beat and nothing else will do. I certainly hope this guy does a year mandatory. Does not belong in society. But watch….probably does not have a criminal history and will plead guilty to a lesser charge and walk free with only probation and community service.
Louis
September 2nd, 2009
12:04 pm
If it were my daughter, The stranger would be in intensive care as we speak.
Breeze
September 2nd, 2009
12:06 pm
@Bob, well damn. Just throw the race card out there. Many time, the temper tantrums are thrown by the Caucasians. Go to Wal-Mart, Target, Carters, Children’s place, JCPenny, the mall, etc. Take notes buddy. You idiot…
@Bill, the child was 2. I doubt he/she was crying because their lazy. You’re an idiot too.
@Get a life & MrDan, you two are just as ignorant.
The four of you should be put to a death match. Hopefully no one would come out victorious.
chris watson
September 2nd, 2009
12:06 pm
speaking of someone needing their a** kicked get a life sounds like he might be in need of one. Probably just one of these losers that gets on sites and blogs trying to wind people up because HE needs to get a life. I will say I cannot stand to be out and having out of control kids running around crying and screaming but come on slapping a 2 year old child multiple times – that in just downright idiotic!
Mr. WhatDoIKnow
September 2nd, 2009
12:06 pm
Slapping a child that young is out of line. Mr. Stephens should have slapped the mother instead . . . After all, she is the one that should have had better control of her child.
silent jay
September 2nd, 2009
12:11 pm
Wal Mart? Stone Mountain? Slapped kid?
Gee, how could this have happened?
BR549
September 2nd, 2009
12:12 pm
I wonder if someone will slap him for crying after some other inmate has his way with him in PMITA jail?
Mom
September 2nd, 2009
12:12 pm
I can’t believe some of these comments here! Taking an innocent child who was the victim and turning that child and that mother into the REASON for the assault! Unbelievable! Even the most well-behaved children (ESPECIALLY when they’re toddlers) have occasional meltdowns. You people who are judging…you have no idea why the child was crying. You have no idea for how long the child had been crying. I have hauled my own then-2-year-old out of a store or two in my time. But sometimes, you can’t. You can’t come at any other time, and you can’t leave right then. Life happens and if you are in a public place like Wal-Mart, you can’t expect serene peace and quiet at all times, for heavens sakes! It’s Wal-Mart! And you have the ability and, by all means exercise it, to LEAVE that section. All of you making these ridiculous comments likely have never had to shop with a toddler. Not everyone HAS someone to ‘leave the kid with’. Kids are people, too. And they have rights. If this man had slapped an adult, there would be no question what he had done was wrong. (whether or not the adult was loud, obnoxious, or crying). You can’t blame all society’s ills on some people who allow their children to be rowdy. This was a TWO year old! Wake up people. This is how 2 year olds ARE. One minute they’re fine. The next minute, they’re not. The fault was the man’s, not the mom…most definitely not the baby’s.
Keith
September 2nd, 2009
12:13 pm
Thanks for slapping that kid. People control your kids. There are many kids out there that need a slapping. He did want many of us want to do.
GREAT JOB OL’ MAN!!!!!!
Meg
September 2nd, 2009
12:15 pm
I have on numberous occasions wanted to do exactly what this man did!! That being said, I have not and will not ever do such a thing. When I was a child had I behaved in such a manner noone else would have had to think about slapping me for my own mother would have already done so without a thought. Think what you will about her, I now respect the dicipline I received and thank her for it. Parents these days seem to try too hard to be their childs friend instead of being a parent first and friend later. If this mother had at least made more of an effort to get some measure of control over her childs behavior then this incident would not have happened.
Miss A
September 2nd, 2009
12:15 pm
@Bob….uh, your comment had exactly WHAT to do with the topic? Saying mexican/black families have no respect for others? The suspect in this absurb occurrence is an old, deranged, WHITE man! I tell you what…I bet the child was white because a black parent would’ve been behind bars for murder had he slapped their child.
Try not to show your racist side in future comments…
Mother of two
September 2nd, 2009
12:18 pm
Of course, you can’t hit someone elses kids. The guy should have left the store and came back later or pick another store. That Walmart is always a circus. I see lots of well behaved kids and some not so well behaved kids. People should maintain their kids to a certain level of behavior and leave if necessary. I did it with my kids even if it meant starting my shopping trip all over. Common courtesy should be taught to our kids. Of course, we need to show it ourselves and maybe we should start with our blogs.
KY
September 2nd, 2009
12:19 pm
I am not saying it was right for the man to slap the child but I am saying I understand. My son is 9 years old now. When he was younger and we would be out and he had a temper tantum, we would leave the store/restaurant, etc. Who wants to hear a screaming child? Not me, nor you. I blame the mom. What could be so important in Wal-mart that would prevent this mom from taking her screaming child outside?
April
September 2nd, 2009
12:20 pm
No way should someone slap a 2-year old child; that man deserves to be punished to the fullest extent of the law for assaulting a toddler. I know how irritating it can be to be forced to witness a screaming, crying, whining, temper-tantrum pitching child (especially when it’s someone else’s child) but the man had a choice to walk away.
Melissa
September 2nd, 2009
12:20 pm
I’m honestly more sympathetic to the guy than to the mother. She should have removed her screaming child, whether by taking her to the bathroom until she calmed down, or to the parking lot. I should not have to put up with your screaming child, just as I should not have to put up with your loud radio, or your yappy little dog. The walmart staff should have escorted her out, or at least asked her to calm down her child. The little brat deserved it.
MasterP
September 2nd, 2009
12:22 pm
The man was out of line, he did not know what the child’s problem was and he should have either spoke with the parent or used his hushpuppies and walked away. Its not his job to discipline someone else child. I do believe in corporal punishment when necessary, but all other resolutions must have been explored.
Ayana
September 2nd, 2009
12:22 pm
Children have tantrums in public….always have, always will.
KJ
September 2nd, 2009
12:23 pm
I hope right about now, he’s someone’s b**ch in Gwinnet’s PMITA jail….
Laxatl
September 2nd, 2009
12:24 pm
Hitting anyone else’s child is never ok. But sometimes I sure do want to slap the parents for refusing to control the obnoxious behavior of their children. More than once I have had to leave a restaurant because screaming kids were driving me insane.
Kyle
September 2nd, 2009
12:26 pm
If that was my child there wouldnt be two in jail. There would be one in jail and one in the ground.
Breeze
September 2nd, 2009
12:26 pm
@KJ I’m with you. I hope someone violates his behind (pun intended)
@Melissa Clearly you don’t have children for such a statement.
patricia evans
September 2nd, 2009
12:27 pm
I am conserned that this man has deeper problems than a crying child has caused!!!
NANA
September 2nd, 2009
12:30 pm
WOW..I DIDN’T READ THE ALL BUT SOME SURE ARE FUNNY. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHETHER IT IS WALMART OR MACY’S, BLACK OR WHITE….ALL KIDS HAVE MELT DOWNS FROM TIME TO TIME IN PUBLIC. EVEN THE BEST BEHAVED. YES, THERE ARE THOSE PARENTS WHO ARE IRRESPONSIBLE AND INCONSIDERATE…BUT AND I MEAN A BIG BUT…..A STRANGER DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO SLAP A CHILD! I AM NOT SURE IF HE REALLY NEEDS TO BE IN JAIL ON NOT. HE NEEDS SOMETHING THAT’S FOR SURE. I AM VERY MILD MANNERED AND HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A PHYSICAL FIGHT (EXCEPT W/BRO & SIS’S WHEN A CHILD) BUT EVEN I MAY HAVE LAID INTO HIM! AND I PROMISE YOU, HE WOULD NOT HAVE SLAPPED MORE THAN ONCE.
HA HA
September 2nd, 2009
12:33 pm
In the immortal words of Nelson, HA HA!
Parents do not know how to parent these days. Gone are the days where a child was seen but not heard, said yes sir and no ma’am, and work their pants around the waist not below their but cheeks.
The mother probably needed it more than the child.
Wendy
September 2nd, 2009
12:34 pm
First of all some of the comments on here are basically lies. No parent in their right mind would let a starnger slap their child. I spank my son, but i don’t slap him in the face, how would i allow a stranger to do something to my child that i would not do. Second, yes some parents should be responsible for their children behavir in public, but who hasn’t had a chidl throw a tantrum or get cranky. it happens, there is no excuse for anyone to put their hands on anyone else’s child, period. BTW, i would have more than likely laid hands on this man, but not went to jail for defending my child. I am mad at the mother if she didn’t do something.
Mark
September 2nd, 2009
12:36 pm
Needless to say the guy who slapped the two year old was a deranged nutcase who couldn’t control himself. There have been times when I have wanted to slap a kid that was raising hell in a store but I was a thousand miles away from actually doing it.
That being said, kids are kids. They aren’t old enough to control themselves or to realize that they are bothering others. As such, I can’t get angry at them. My issue is with the parents. Many parents work very hard to control their kids in a public place and will discipline their kids and keep them quiet to the best of their ability, even if they don’t always succeed. Kudos to them.
Other parents, however, seem to go about their business oblivious and ignoring of the fact that their child is raising hell. It is this second group of parents that deserve a slap, not their kids. They ruin their kids and everyone’s peace simultaneously.
Becky W.
September 2nd, 2009
12:36 pm
In response to this statement in the blog:
And another thing, if a crying 2yo can push you to the brink of actually hitting him/her (especially if it’s not your child) who’s to say what you’ll do to an adult that pisses you off.
This man is a big bully and most likely would not do or say anything to an adult, especially a man who was bigger than he is. He is despicable and this is not about should you or should you not spank a child. I’m just glad he was not able to get out of the store after doing that, he is where he belongs (jail) and I hope the other inmates are slapping him around!!
A proud mom to a 2 year old
September 2nd, 2009
12:37 pm
I have a 2 year old and at times he melts down. I do not let him keep screaming and I do everything I can to get him to stop, I will not leave the store just because of this, My time is precious I work 40 hours a week and have a family and household to take care of. I can’t just leave and come back. My son knows if he starts screaming or crying that is unacceptable. I would be totally pissed if someone slapped my child. It is my responsibility to discipline him not some stranger.
Sonya
September 2nd, 2009
12:37 pm
This was nothing less than assault. If this happened in a daycare facility, the operation would be closed. I agree with other comments here that the child might simply have been tired or hungry – and for that a grown man who doesn’t even know the child decides on the spur of the moment to hand out several slaps? I can’t get my head around this. I agree with other comments, too, that this individual must have serious, criminal issues.
mdowney
September 2nd, 2009
12:39 pm
I have complete sympathy for parents of screaming children in grocery stores. Buying food is a necessity. Sometimes, you have to bring cranky, sleepy kids when you need milk and eggs.
Nor do I complain about crying babies on planes. Given all the delays lately, I feel like screaming, too, when I am stuck on the runway for two hours.
However, my patience disappears in movie theaters when parents arrive at a 9:40 p.m. movie with a 13-month-old in their arms. It’s not the child with whom I’m annoyed; it’s the parents who assume they can lull their baby to sleep in a packed theater watching the latest Bond movie with all the special effects and loud explosions.
My solution, however, is not to slap either the parents or the baby. I make the best of it and grit my teeth. And then complain to all of you about it.
Maureen
Babs
September 2nd, 2009
12:39 pm
This guy is mentally off the beam. Of all the nerve to walk up to a stranger’s child in a store and slap a toddler. Even to say what he did to the mother is a serious threat of harm to the child. What kind of insane rage would allow this guy to do this? He must hate children.
Mother of 4 boys
September 2nd, 2009
12:41 pm
Bob,
That is amazing to hear that. I work in a physicians office and the only children usually running around, being loud, out of control is WHITE CHILDREN!
Andrea
September 2nd, 2009
12:42 pm
I was in a museum once and daughter who was about 9 touched something, with one finger. The guard roughly grabbed her shoulder and told her not to touch. I immediately told him not to touch my child. He argued that she had touched something in the museum. I asked, “wouldn’t it have been just as easy to touch my shoulder and tell me my daughter was touching something?”. He looked confused.
I then calmly but firmly explained that we live in a world where alot of crazy people do bad things to kids. When a parent is present, you should always address the parent first. Parents are on alarm and you can get attacked or worse for touching someone else’s child. He half apologized and walked away. I hope he took my comment to heart.
Never touch someone else’s child so that 1. the parent doesn’t end up attacking you and 2. so that you are never accused of doing something you may or may not have done.
Val
September 2nd, 2009
12:44 pm
This man is unstable and should not be let back out into society. He looks nutty. They need to check his backyard.
Dad
September 2nd, 2009
12:45 pm
My kid came home twice from a large private school in Lilburn with a perfect hand print bruise on his face each time but the Gwinnett DA nor the Solicitor would investigate. (at least i don’t know about it)
I guess it is good this happened in a Walmart and not a “private” school.
j
September 2nd, 2009
12:45 pm
i laughed so hard when i first read the story b/c i couldn’t imagine somebody actually doing that. However, had that been my son, that old guy would have needed hip replacement.
NegNews
September 2nd, 2009
12:46 pm
I would have slapped the mama. Anytime I see an out of control kid in public, I blame the parent(s).
Maureen's accountability metric
September 2nd, 2009
12:47 pm
Looking at the responses here, and how the questions raised by this story relate to educational policy, I’d say this is a clear case of not seeing the forest for the trees.
No one in their right mind advocates hitting someone else’s two year old in the face. And it obviously doesn’t happen that often at Wal Mart, or it wouldn’t have been newsworthy.
But the over correction in our society, that empowers children to scream, curse and otherwise disrupt, and they think they can get away with it by saying “Don’t touch me or I’ll sue!” does happen, and it happens with shocking regularity.
The question is, why is that not newsworthy, or blogworthy, but an isolated case of a man with clear mental health issues is?
j
September 2nd, 2009
12:48 pm
wow, racism found a way into this blog … there are way too many racist people that read the AJC, and most of them are white
Tally
September 2nd, 2009
12:50 pm
My son is 17. Somebody, please come slap the s**t out of him too.
silky82
September 2nd, 2009
12:52 pm
In my opinion I think parents of children who act out in public places should be mindful of others. It’s like the smoking issue. I don’t have small children, therefore, I am not used to hearing screaming, hollering and crying children and it does make me mad. Although the parent has learned to tune out these outbusrts at home, etc. I have not, Therefore, it annoys me and makes me upset (and yes, I roll my eyes at the parent/guardian).
Why do you (parents/guardians) expect me to shop or eat to the screams, crying and hollering of your children and have tolerance, when if I was a smoker and you were not would you be so tolerant of my behavior?
The man got upset but had no right to take the discipline in is own hands. That outbusrt is irritating especially if you live alone or not around children often.
It boils down to respecting others and if your child is sick to the point ofcrying they should not be out in public anyway.
My last point is these parents/guardians have no control of their children at home. Be blessed
P.S. @The Facts – no one is saying to hit a child is appropriate begavior. And where did the “wild animals” comment come from?
Mad Mad Dad
September 2nd, 2009
12:53 pm
Regardless of a child’s behavior there is no right, God given or other, that allows for ANYONE much less a stranger, to touch another person’s child. If someone ever laid a finger on my child, especially in this manner, he’d be in a morgue. This story is the reason I carry a pistol and always will. There aren’t enough law in this crazy world to protect our children!
Parents pay attention!!!! This is just one more piece of evidence about the way the world views your children. Innocence means nothing to some people and what are children if not innocent?
Whatever
September 2nd, 2009
12:54 pm
The man was wrong to slap the child. How he was able to get close enough to put his paws on her is crazy. The mom should’ve been more aware and went into defense mode when she saw him approaching, especially after his first comment.
However, I do understand his frustration. I cannot stand to see or hear spoiled, disrespectful children in public. All the crying, whining, screaming and tantrums are really unacceptable behavior. And, I have 2 children who never, ever had a tantrum or acted that way in public at any age. So don’t tell me that tantrums are normal behavior or that 2 yr. olds are expected act like that. It is a learned behavior that is accepted at home. If they act like that and get away with it at home, the kid will act like that anywhere.
My kids were taught properly from birth at home, so I haven’t ever had to leave a restaurant, store or any other place because of their behavior. People always commented on how well-behaved my children were. Parents, please teach your kids to act properly and take some responsibility.
T
September 2nd, 2009
12:54 pm
It amazes me how many people have the opinion that parents of toddlers need to “better discipline their child” or “my parents never let me act that way” Children, especially toddlers have melt downs. Period. You could do everything right and the smallest thing sets them off. It has nothing to do with being a young parent or not caring about their children’s behavior or lack of social graces. My child cries in Walmart sometimes it can’t be helped. That’s how he expresses himself because he can’t talk. But so help me God had this dude put his hand on my child for simply BEING a child. My foot would STILL be lodged in has #@!
Gretchen
September 2nd, 2009
12:54 pm
I don’t have children and there have been times when I have been at a store, a restaurant, etc etc etc with a completely out of control child. I do not at all want to strike the child. The parents, on the other hand….
KidsRpeople2
September 2nd, 2009
12:55 pm
The TRUTH is that school children are treated differently in our great nation based on where they live. It is ILLEGAL for school employees to hit children with wooden paddles in 30 states, yet in 20 states it is still done for minor infractions like not turning in homework in hallways within earshot of other students, without parental consent or notification, my children overhear this NONSENSE in their middle school in Tennessee, and our local school district governing board members are unresponsive, they have ignored our demand to prohibit paddling of children in our schools! Physical punishment is NOT education’s “Best Practice” if it is ILLEGAL in 30 states. It is illegal to hit prisoners and animals. The Cost to Abolish Corporal/Physical Punishment of ALL Children in ALL Schools is $0. Other forms of Physical/Corporal Punishment of Children in schools besides paddling with wooden paddles include physical punishment of entire classes, for instance being made to stand in line outdoors in direct sunlight during recess and running laps, holding arms out, excessive physical exercise and withholding bathroom/drinking water privileges. A high school football coach in Kentucky is currently facing MURDER charges because he denied players access to drinking water during practice in the heat and a student died. The military allows water breaks and common sense and human dignity to soldiers. U.S. Congress is currently holding hearings on Abusive and DEADLY (a middle school student in Texas died by having his chest crushed when his teacher sat on him to control him, a Texas high school student suffered deep bruising and welts to his lower back, buttocks and back of his legs when he received 21 “licks” with a wooden canoe paddle, which broke duruing the beating and had to be taped to continue the beating, a 9 year old Georgia 3rd grader suffered deep bruising injuries when he was paddled with a wooden paddle 3 TIMES IN ONE DAY and a Publicly Funded Charter School in Memphis, Tennessee physically punishes middle/high school boys and GIRLS weekly during a ceremony called “Chapel” by hitting them with wooden paddles and/or whipping their hands with leather straps IN FRONT OF ALL THE OTHER STUDENTS AS A DETERRENT to publicly induce shame, humiliation and fear) practices in SCHOOLS and MUST ABOLISH Physical/Corporal Punishment Nationwide of ALL Children in ALL Schools, the COST $0. HANDS OFF OUR KIDS!
lady kiki
September 2nd, 2009
12:56 pm
i would have slapped fire from his @$$ and he wouldn’t have touched another!
WhatDoIKnow
September 2nd, 2009
12:56 pm
j:
Look back a few days . . . You will find some Black racists . . .
M Anthony
September 2nd, 2009
12:56 pm
Well Bob I am not sure what planet you come from but the blacks and hispanics I know would have given this moron a beat down on the spot. I cant even imagine a grown stranger slapping someone elses kid and I dont care what the circumstances. I wonder how the other inmates will react when they find out what this clown is in jail for? Even in there, they have rules.
Peter
September 2nd, 2009
12:57 pm
Come on folks…..how do you calm a 2 year old…they are too young to understand Please stop crying !
That guy should be arrested and charged as if he hit an adult !
Parent Myself
September 2nd, 2009
12:57 pm
The guy was wrong. No question. I find myself gritting my teeth seeing how lack of caring on the parents part affects others. I have witnessed kids jumping on bikes in Walmart and riding down the aisles while the mother is shopping for shampoo. These kids are not the store’s responsibility. Wake up! If you can not control your child’s behavior, get a sitter. That is what I did. Stop making excuses for imposing on other people. This is the beginning of you making a life time of excuses for your kid’s bad behavior. Get a grip on your kids. I am not saying we should condone physical punishments, but going to the opposite end and letting the kids control the situation is lame. Oh, and the lady with the 2-year old who seemed to think it was ok because they are just kids…apparently you are one of “these” parents.
mugglemikki
September 2nd, 2009
12:58 pm
@Val, LOL! I know right? If that’s not a serial killer I don’t know who is!
lady kiki
September 2nd, 2009
12:58 pm
if the child got on your nerves then LEAVE THE STORE!! that is not the only place to shop in this town. this man had no idea if this child was special needs or not. just goes to show you how selfish he was. just because “he” didn’t want to here it! when do we realize it’s not just all about you!
Steph
September 2nd, 2009
12:58 pm
Touch my kids and you will pull back a bloody stump.
Dee
September 2nd, 2009
12:59 pm
I am enjoying how many bloggers are faling into two camps: the indignant, outraged, “If this had been me, why I wouldda…” and the crusty, old farts, “Back in my day…” In my opnion, it’s not acceptable to hit someone else’s child. A stranger doing it is battery, and a government employee, aka a teacher or principal, is absurd. Can you imagine getting spanked by your boss for being late or interrupting in a meeting, or getting slapped by the clerk at the dmv for talking back or whining about the long line (and what adult hasn’t thrown a temper tantrum–we just call them customer complaints)? The only difference in these scenarios is the age of the person being punished.
Trish
September 2nd, 2009
12:59 pm
OMG….This is crazy, of course we all have had the thought “SHUT UP” cross our minds as we hear this yelling kid from across the isles. But a 2 YEAR OLD should not have been slapped by anyone. Especially a old stupid big heavy handed man(really could’ve caused damage). Not even an adult deserved that. Come on people, how can you condone this!
Aubrey
September 2nd, 2009
1:00 pm
I can’t believe people are blaming the mother. The child is TWO!!! My child cries if i simply make her sit still. It has nothing to do with whether she is hungry, tired, whatever else. Please don’t compare a grocery store trip to dinner out at a resteraunt. There is no reasonable expectation of a peaceful environment in a grocery store. Is that crying child going to prevent you from buying the right produce or canned goods? Go about your business and get over it.
Also, who ever thought that HITTING a crying 2 year old would somehow quiet them. Sorry, at that age, calm communication is the only way to go because they don’t necessarily understand anything other than tone.
James
September 2nd, 2009
1:01 pm
Instead of slapping the child, he should have slapped the mother.
It is incomprehensible that any parent would allow their child to whine, scream, and cry without doing something to stop the behavior.
In many cases, the best solution is to simply take the child and leave. Take the child outside for a paddling or simply take it home and put it in timeout if you do not believe in paddlings.
Allowing your child to disturb others by being a brat is not acceptable.
j
September 2nd, 2009
1:01 pm
i know i know … but how does a stranger slapping a kid in public become a race issue? it just baffles me
Rick
September 2nd, 2009
1:01 pm
Simple, I have a 3 year old and we discipline him. If this man would have slapped my son, he would have been shot. Period end of story. Touch me you have a problem, touch my child your dead.
Ovrcomimpossible
September 2nd, 2009
1:02 pm
What is everyone so outraged about. It’s not like he hit your kids. this is one incident that happened to one person.
To be honest some people need their kids slapped. When I walk through the grocery stores and see all these bad little kids with no home training, and see how some of you let them run around like they’re loose wild animals is beyond me. My daughter knows that when I go shopping, “daddy don’t play that”. So she sits still and plays with her toy while in the cart quietly. Yeah let this be an example to you parents that don’t give a damn about how your kids act.
HT
September 2nd, 2009
1:02 pm
Mad Mad Dad, are you my husband? My sentiments exactly!
Peter
September 2nd, 2009
1:02 pm
Hey…….NegNews
“I would have slapped the mama. Anytime I see an out of control kid in public, I blame the parent(s).”
Why don’t you grow up and get an education….apparently you do not know anything about children ! In a a Walmart for gosh sakes ? Please ….
In a restaurant, ask the parent to get up take the child out side and calm them down, or ask that they leave if that is not possible….Makes sense !
A two year old does not have the mental capabilities to understand as you might think, and the parents don’t have that type of control at that early age…….
You apparently didn’t get an education to make that silly statement !
By the way you getting arrested for slapping a parent would be REAL !
j
September 2nd, 2009
1:03 pm
Dee – i can’t imagine being spanked by my boss for being late, but i like the idea
Daniel
September 2nd, 2009
1:04 pm
If that was my child, and I am a man, I would have probably killled the guy. But, because I am a man, he probably would have never even said anything, let alone slapped the child.
j
September 2nd, 2009
1:05 pm
Rick, you’d kill somebody b/c they slapped your child? Isn’t that just a tad overboard?
lady kiki
September 2nd, 2009
1:06 pm
dee… you’re nasty… LOL
lady kiki
September 2nd, 2009
1:07 pm
J… you’re nasty… LOL
Markmar
September 2nd, 2009
1:08 pm
Jimmy Hoffadul: There is more class in NY than anywhere in the redneck south. And Bob is right. Blacks and Mexicans have no respect for others.
Me? I would have slapped the mother for failure to control her snotty nosed spawn.