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Get Schooled

The crying game

9:00 am August 5, 2009, by Maureen Downey

As a college instructor, I had two students come to me in tears about their grades in my basic reporting class. In both cases, the low grades impacted financial aid and graduation. Both were young women who assured me that they had earned As in their other writing classes. I was surprised since they lacked the basics. I did not change their grades, although I still feel bad.

In the current Chronicle of Higher Ed, a college professor has written an essay about crying students and the new-found compassion he developed toward them by thinking of his own children. In his piece “When students cry,” professor Kent Lehnhof writes, “So as Jason sat crying before me, I tried to focus on the things a parent would see. I tried to drape him in all of the hopes and desires his parents might hold for him. And while Jason’s deficiencies (and our difficulties) did not disappear, they receded just a little—enough, in fact, to allow other things to come into view.”

What’s just as interesting are the irate responses to Lehnhof’s piece: “Someday this student might, just might, sob his way to graduation and be turned loose upon society and start looking for a job.”

For teachers out there, what do you do with a low grade and a crying student?

Parents, what response should a teacher have if your teenager bursts into tears over a grade? Do you want the display met with compassion? Or do you want the teacher to tell the student, as one commenter to Lehnhof’s piece wrote, that tears “are unprofessional and unseemly?”

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15 comments Add your comment

Joy in Teaching

August 5th, 2009
9:13 am

Teachers should be compassionate people by nature, but there is only so much they can do to comfort a student. Should the student be allowed to “redo” the assignment? I don’t think so. While the powers that be at the state DOE think that the current standards “contain rigor” (their words), the fact is that the standards are much lower than they were 30 years ago when students were required to be able to demonstrate certain skills before being promoted to the next grade.

I blame much of it on the “I’m Ok; You are OK” generation of parents that we have right now where the student’s self esteem has been pumped up and artificially inflated to a point to where they can’t handle ANY criticism whatsoever. It’s a sad place to be.

Technically, tears ARE unprofessional and unseemly as the commenter to the piece stated. There are just gentler ways of saying that.

Cere

August 5th, 2009
9:30 am

That is ridiculous! Furthermore, it certainly won’t work when that same student loses his or her job due to downsizing, re-organizing or the simple fact that the boss figured out the kid was simply not up to the task. In the work world – you cannot turn in assignments late – and you cannot cry your way out of a predicament. When will parents start preparing their kids for that reality? It’s just life, people!

Plus – if I were a university leader, I would cringe if I heard this was going on. The last thing colleges need to happen is to send unqualified people into the world. It won’t take long before businesses take notice and stop hiring graduates of certain universities or programs.

jim d

August 5th, 2009
10:01 am

fraid they’d have to cry me a friggin river to get any sympathy, and not too sure even that would garner much. These kids job is to learn, if they are failing to accomplish this simple feat it is of no consequence to me–let the chips fall where they may! I’d be willing to bet both of these young ladies have cried their way out of traffic violations as well. Perhaps they should change their major and take up acting!

Stan

August 5th, 2009
10:23 am

IMO I’m all for second chances if reasonable. If the kid screwed around the whole time then no, not much sympathy from me. If they put forth decent effort and I had time to offer them a make up/extra credit assignment then sure.

Ernest

August 5th, 2009
10:34 am

I agree with the comments by Joy, Cere, and JimD. Too much is spent on ‘esteem’ and not enough on ensuring some students have a mastery of content. I believe there is a LOT of grade inflation happening in our schools resulting in many students and parents having a ‘high opinion’ of their academic abilities.

In Maureen’s case, this was a ‘basic’ class that could suggest the students did not have a foundation coming in. Passing them along would be ‘enabling’ them more than anything else.

Ivory Tower Resident

August 5th, 2009
11:33 am

I’m a college instructor. I rarely give “extra credits” assignment, but when I do, I include both the points possible and points earned in the caluclation of the grades. So, if you had 68% average going in but end up with 30/50 on the extra credit assignment, you will actually lower your grade. I also think it is unfair and unethical to give any extra credit assignment that ALL students in the course have an option of completing it.

Finally, if you are getting all A’s in other classes, I don’t think you will lose a scholarship by getting an F in one course – 3A’s and 1F will give you a 3.0 GPA (assuming they are all 3 credit courses).

Way Down South

August 5th, 2009
12:58 pm

We rarely give graded homework because we can’t penalize anyone who refuses to do it and most don’t bother. Projects and out of class assignments have become a joke because we have to take time to let them make them up if they refuse to do those. Students expect to able to make up exams they did poorly on and we are expected to comply(that takes care of any motivation to be prepared on their part).
They leave us and join the ranks in higher education,the military or the workforce woefully unprepared for the big slap in the face that real life sometimes hands out to the young fresh off the finish line.

Cere

August 5th, 2009
3:03 pm

Actually, I am pretty tired of “graded” homework. Homework – waaaay back when I went to school – was just brain exercise to make sure you understood the material. The teacher used homework problems students had trouble with to re-teach and review the material. Then – the only grades that counted were your tests, essays, writing assignments, term papers, etc. You had better understand the material in order to do well on those and get a good grade.

Anyone can do homework for you – so if you have someone do it for you and you get daily credit, you could effectively “earn” a grade you don’t deserve. Plus – you would have cheated yourself in the process. Bottom line – you just have to do the daily work in order to understand the material enough to pass the tests. (Which you can’t have someone do for you.) Tests objectively show whether you understand the material.

Conversely, my son had a teacher who just plain wouldn’t give him a decent grade on his homework assignments (English). It was very subjective – her grades were more or less, her opinions. She didn’t use a rubric much and if she did, she would give him low scores in every category. Personally, even when I thought he did an admirable job, she would still give him 70’s (D’s). Nothing more. Once, he did a “group” project nearly entirely on his own when no one in the group turned in their portion of the assignment (create a “magazine” – complete with ads!) One kid turned in his article the night before it was due and my son inserted it. He turned in the magazine (which was very nicely done – almost all by my son) with only his name and the other student’s name. The teacher gave him an “F” for not including the other students in the credits! (Even though she was fully aware they hadn’t contributed!)

Luckily, he ended up acing the End of Course Test and pulling his grade solidly into the C range. So – you see, sometimes, objective tests can actually help you out!

Harper's Mama

August 5th, 2009
3:11 pm

I think it depends on the situation, especially in secondary school and below. If the child has worked, and I mean really worked, then giving extra credit to meet the standard neccessary to pass is a viable option. If the kid was a punk, turned things in late or not at all, refused to participate, couldn’t asnwer questions in class, and then comes crying because he or she did not pass? Well, then, the situation is different. That child must be taught a lesson at some point. I’d rather see him or her fail an Enligh class in high school than be fired from a job for incompetence.

Reality 2

August 5th, 2009
3:35 pm

Grades supposed to tell how well students understood the course materials. Giving extra credits to artificially increase grades do no service to anyone. Teachers should NEVER be allowed to give make-up or extra credit work after all course work was done. Those teachers who do, I agree with Ivory Tower Resident, are engaging in an unethical activity.

Cere

August 5th, 2009
8:09 pm

Harper’s Mama, your statement, “I think it depends on the situation..” is even worse. The last thing teachers should be doing is removing the levels from the playing field! An “A” should require the same effort and knowledge from each and every recipient. It’s unfair to allow “some” to do an end-game runaround.

Rosie

August 5th, 2009
9:47 pm

Thanks for opening this can of worms. Can’t believe teachers aren’t blogging like crazy. Where are all the teachers from the furlough topics? Credit recovery has become rampant in our nation due to the graduation rate stipulation of AYP/NCLB. Many have adopted this educational fad and continue to shove it down our throats. When will taxpayers stand up and say “NO”? Why should a teacher allow a child to do assignments again or assignments he/she refused to do when assigned? Why should the student be given alternate assignments when he she did not attempt the first assignment? What does credit recovery teach? I realize the author of this blog asked about “crying”, but this subject is directly related to credit recovery. As a teacher I don’t agree with changing a grade or allowing a student to retake a test/assignment because he/she cried. Congrats to the teachers that stand up for themselves and the profession by saying “NO”.

free market educator

August 6th, 2009
4:13 am

“Both were young women who assured me that they had earned As in their other writing classes. I was surprised since they lacked the basics.” Your comment leads one to conclude that the students were poorly prepared for college level work, thus putting some of the blame on their high school instructors. How were they able to gain entrance to the college and also receive scholarship/loan money?

The Sarge

August 9th, 2009
4:05 am

Why stop at crying? Let us not overlook the holding of one’s breath, the rolling and thrashing about upon the floor, and the ever-popular “I’m telling my mommie on you”! As with so many issues in this simple world, made complicated by our incessant need to make things easier and better, we insist on “clogging the pipes” with non-issues. When we make good grades, achieve goals, and otherwise do/receive good things, we are generally happy. As the venerable Tom Hanks once said, “There’s no crying in baseball”…if crying is to be permitted to alter our disappoints in life, it’s gonna be one heck of a disappointing game. Suck it up, adjust fire, and press on! It’s the only way.

Beach High Teacher

August 9th, 2009
10:04 am

Way down south and Reality 2 are both very right. Its all about esteem. When a student makes a 29 the first 9 weeks and the principal tells you to give them a 69 so they can be inspired to try, why should the student try? Some ask you for the recovery session paperwork halfway through the 9 weeks. Homework is a simple re-enforcement of what was done in class…a 2 minute assignment if you paid attention, but they wont make the effort to do it.
Failure should be acknowledged, but not embraced. If a kid broke down crying in front of me, I would turn it into a life’s lesson. Give them the “Never Again” speech, then fail them. Its not important that they tried, but did they really try hard enough? If they failed, the answer is no. Teachers know the level of effort and crying on the last day isnt going to work on me after I have seen a student goof off for the previous 89 days.