Jeff Haws’ Top 10 List

One of the things we love doing down at The List HQ is reading all the stories coming in from around the area as they come in Friday nights.

We can only be at one stadium per night (until this whole cloning thing gets big), so it’s fun to see what happened everywhere we couldn’t be.

Of course, what we often see is the same thing you see at other levels of football – cliché quotes from coaches and players.

Now, we don’t really blame them, but we know that’s usually not what they’re actually thinking. They’d love to say what’s really on their minds, but we stick a notebook in their face, and they can become Bill Belichick on us.

So, what are they actually thinking? We think we know. Here are the top 10 quotes you’ll never read on a Friday night after the games.

10. “That pass I dropped? Yeah, the quarterback throws a really lousy spiral.”

9. “I just want to make sure you noticed my offensive line didn’t block worth a lick on that touchdown run I had in the third quarter.”

8. “I don’t know. This game really isn’t for me. My real dream is to go into competitive eating.”

7. “We’re the state champs! Wait, there are six classifications? So, how many state champs are there? Seven? Forget this. I quit.”

6. “To be honest with you, we knew we were going to win this game as soon as the schedule came out. We basically could have named our score tonight. The other coaching staff does a terrible job.”

5. “Everybody knows I should be starting. Coach only starts Steve because he’s a senior. Yeah, I said it. Go ahead and print that. I mean it.”

4. “Oh, of course I didn’t catch that ball. Are you kidding? I have no idea what the ref was thinking on that call. Heck, I told him I trapped it, but he disagreed. What are ya gonna do?”

3. “As the coach of this team, I get full credit for that winning touchdown drive. The players never could have executed that without me.”

2. “I’d like to call out the fans for not being remotely loud or supportive enough tonight. It really depressed the entire team.”

1. “Let’s be real. Everybody knows the best teams are all in South Georgia.”

But, as always, we want to hear from you. What are the quotes you want to hear from players and coaches after a game? What are you tired of hearing them say? Are the best teams really in South Georgia? Let us know in the comments here or on Twitter at @ajcprepsports.

15 comments Add your comment

sportsnut

October 31st, 2012
11:15 am

Your pick for # 1 really takes the cake. This is the Mantra of Region 1. You can hear this line almost daily.

LOVE IT

October 31st, 2012
11:38 am

This is so very true and I agree with sportsnut….That is all anyone EVER hears from the nut jobs in south Georga. But then again they have nothing else to do.

Jefferson

October 31st, 2012
11:49 am

Look at the tags in the parking lot at the dome in Dec., that’s tells the tale.

Everyone knows

October 31st, 2012
11:50 am

Everyone knows south ga has the best teams! Look it up fools!

John

October 31st, 2012
11:51 am

I was doing a radio interview 35 years ago with a coach of one of the South Georgia powerhouse teams about his team’s upcoming games against one of the Albany schools that were rarely competitive when they played up in the largest classification. After we finished the interview and I had turned the recorder off, the coach said, “What can I say? They’re terrible. They’re awful. There is nothing I can say to make them better.”

Todd Holcomb

October 31st, 2012
12:30 pm

“Kid, you’re having a great season. What schools are recruiting you?”

“I’m getting calls and text messages from a lot of coaches, but I just want to enjoy my sophomore season. Then I’ll sit down with my family and make a decision on where to transfer in January.”

OMacG

October 31st, 2012
4:38 pm

LMAO! Nice play, Holcomb.

Max Sizemore

October 31st, 2012
5:19 pm

“Our kids try hard — OK, only sometimes — but, really, they’re too small, too slow, and too nice. I can’t win at this school. Nobody can.”

hsfb follower

October 31st, 2012
8:41 pm

“I’ve just got a bunch of special ed kids”

packerhart89

October 31st, 2012
8:55 pm

UMM YEAH ABOUT THAT SOUTH GEORGIA THING, IM PRETTY SURE THAT MANY OF YOU GUYS OR REALLY PROBABLY ALL OF YOU GUYS WISH THAT YOU COULD HAVE A SEAT IN MARTIN STADIUM FRIDAY NIGHT TO WATCH THE BIGGEST GAME OF THE YEAR IN THE LARGEST CLASSIFICATION IN THE STATE. I WONT BE ABLE TO ATTEND BECAUSE MY PAROLE WONT ALLOW FOR ME TO LEAVE HOME BUT ITS NOT LIKE I HAVE ALOT TO DO ANYWAYS EXCEPT KISS MY COUSIN AND BREAD MY DOGS AND CLEAN MY GUN WHICH I AINT EVEN SUPPOSED TO HAVE MIGHT SIT ON THE PORCH AND WAIT FOR THE MAILMAN TO BRING MY CHECK BY TO ME FOR BEING UNEMPLOYED BUT THATS ONLY CAUSE IM A CHILD MOLESTOR AND I CANT GET A GREAT JOB DOWN HERE ONCE MY UNCLE JIMMY JOE HE USED TO RUN THE GAS STATION BUT IT CLOSED DOWN SO ALL WE HAD TO EAT FOR A LONG TIME WAS THOSE PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS AND SOME MOONPIES AND YOUWHO

NEEDLESS TO SAY TODD AND ALL YALL UPPITY ASS JERKS CAN KISS MY WHITE FLUFFY ASS

THE END

Monroe's First Redcoat

November 1st, 2012
4:02 am

Todd – LMAO -

“I really love my new team. The AD was great to give us a house rent-free and line up a bogus 6-K job for my dad. If I don’t start every game my new head coach knows I’ll go straight to GHSA with it.”

Monroe's First Redcoat

November 1st, 2012
4:09 am

“We suck. My line couldn’t block a middle school team, much less one in our region. But I’ve got lines out of five kids I can recruit for next season that’ll start turning things around, especially if they can beat the charges next week.”

THE "CANNON RULES"!!

November 1st, 2012
6:49 am

How Bout…

“They were GREAT from the start…Nobody better in the State…Played Hard ALL night…Everyone in the stands cheered em ALL NIGHT!!! OH WAIT!!! THAT WAS THE BAND!!!”"”

TICK…TICK…TICK…BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
GO RAIDERS!!!!!!!

GwinnettDad

November 1st, 2012
8:46 am

@Packerhart – “My parole won’t allow me to leave home.” Nobody with any brains should believe anything in your post.

57Cat

November 4th, 2012
9:46 am

I’m a little late coming in with this one, but you will NEVER hear a certain Lowndes blogger say this:

“We would never have won, even with #2 and #21.”