Sorry to disappoint those procrastinating Thanksgiving planners, but I won’t be giving you a list of those few spots in town with last-minute Turkey reservations still open. Instead, I’m talking Twinkies.
By now, you have all heard about the Hostess liquidation, and that is making some folks go Twinkie crazy. Like Atlantan’s in the bread isle after a snow flurry, people are rushing out to stock up on what could be the last Twinkie the world will see. (Of course, Hostess is auctioning off their brands to competitors, so unless there will be some insane additional resale value in the “original” Twinkies, they are actually just being morons.)
And where is the best place to find predatory capitalists opportunists profiting off hype-frenzied “collectors’ items”? eBay of course!
A quick look through the completed auctions listings for Twinkies on eBay brings up some staggering, hopefully false and disheartening results. While the highest completed auction of $20,010,000 for a single box turns out to just be an offer to trade said 10-pack of nuclear-proof snack cake in exchange for a mobility scooter, there are others that seem to be close enough within the realm of stupidity to actually be possible.
The “I’ll donate the proceeds to charity” shtick seems to be popular. It seems this guy has already sold a box for $10,000, promising to donate half to the Children’s Miracle Network. While some are using the golden pastry rush as a kickstarter to fund their patent for a car seat restraint system. Some don’t even bother to make up a cover story. Of course, there are some of the less ambitious, who only raked in a measly $405.00 (from 33 bids) for 72 Twinkies. At $5.62 a Twinkie, that is a steal these days.
I can only hope that most of these auctions never resulted in an actual financial transaction, or if they did, then the lucky seller’s kept their word and donated what proceeds they promised to.
Given the current economic climate, this guy is our modern day Scrooge McDuck…
- By Jon Watson, Food & More blog