Let’s skip Valentine’s Day
Fellas, have you grown tired of that ridiculous annual Valentine’s Day two-step?
Then skip it.
Avoid giving in to all the, as one colleague called it, “socially-mandated emotion.” Take back the second Saturday of this month to enjoy NBA All-Star Weekend. I mean, wouldn’t you rather bleed out of your eyes than comb the earth yet again in search of reservations for the perfect romantic dinner?
For the duration of my courtship and marriage to my wife, I’ve eschewed the yearly obsession with Feb. 14.
And you can, too.
I’m leading a revolt. This year, men, I invite you to take Valentine’s Day off. Don’t send roses. Don’t give chocolates. Don’t borrow against your 401K to upgrade the carats in wifey’s ring.
Put those things off for another day … a day that means something more personal to you and the one you love. Defy the marketing gods whose insistent advice to “exceed her expectations” is rivaled only by her expectations, and let the Godivas sit on the shelf just one more day.
Instead, go bowling. Play a few rounds of golf. Watch the Slam Dunk contest and throw back a few cold ones with the guys.
Afterall, you’re men.
Are you going to let some Madison-Avenue-orchestrated tradition of dubious origin dictate how you show love? Of course not.
Good ole’ St. Valentine lost his head – quite literally – in protest for religious freedom. Not so you would be expected to treat someone to a steak AND lobster dinner at Ruth’s Chris.
As a strident nonconformist, particularly against baseless societal rules, I’ve seen too many men thrown under this bus.
Put a stop to it, now.
One caveat: if you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing in your relationship – being supportive, loving, faithful, sensitive or responsive to your woman’s needs – now might not be the best time shake things up.
You might need the few brownie points a bouquet of roses could afford you. Otherwise, sit out Feb. 14, and do the love-thing on another day. Pick the anniversary of your first TV dinner together, or the day you both played hooky from work.
And if you need to, blame the recession. Or blame me: “Honey, the AJC said there was no Valentine’s Day this year.”
I’m skipping Valentine’s Day.
Who’s with me?
(Marcus Garner is a staff reporter for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
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23 comments Add your comment
cody
February 3rd, 2009
10:36 am
ha. well wel know one man thats not getting any from his wife.
Jessa
February 3rd, 2009
10:47 am
I’m with you. I skip Valentine’s day every year. I don’t need society to tell my husband to tell me he loves me. Why should he have to shell out $50 on a $20 bouquet of roses? Why should we have to sit in a crowded restaraunt with everyone else who decided it was romantic to go out to dinner this one night of the year? If you are truely in love, you do this any night other than Valentine’s day. We’ll be staying home, cooking dinner, and watching a movie. If he wants to buy me candy, he can go out the day after and buy it on sale.
innerjuju
February 3rd, 2009
10:58 am
We’ve been nearly 30 years and we avoid Valentine’s Day other than the occasional card- and we might manage to say “Happy Valentine’s Day” if we remember. But I’d bet my marriage against anyone’s. We have coffee in bed together and hold hands every morning, each night we spend together. Why pick one particular day to show someone you care?
The Anti-Cupid
February 3rd, 2009
11:07 am
I’ve long said a single rose in the middle of July means more than 2 dozen on Valentine’s Day. Women, remember, ANY gift you get on Valentine’s Day is given out of fear not out of true love.
Donna
February 3rd, 2009
11:16 am
I’ve always thought Valentine’s Day was a silly holiday. I’d rather my sweetie do something special or thoughtful for me on a random day….just because he wanted to. He does that all the time, so I see no need for a specific holiday set aside for it. I’m pleased to see by the other responses that I’m not the only female that thinks this way. Among my many girlfriends I’m an oddity, but thats ok with me, my sweetie’s guy friends are envious, lol.
Bailey
February 3rd, 2009
11:19 am
Another reason to skip Valenbtine’s Day:
It is darn depressing when you are not with someone at the time.
.
good woman
February 3rd, 2009
11:29 am
my ex-boyfriend that was my fiancee cheated on me with 2 other women!Not only that, he married one of them and he did have the balls to tell me.I found out from his 8yrold niece.They chose that date so he wouldn’t back out. But on the day of her shower he called me. After they got married , 11 days later he came to me saying that he made a big mistake.Not my favorite day but thats ok. Because he’s been cheating on her for all of their marriage. By the way she was best friends with his ex-girlfriend!They deserve one another.
Operman1
February 3rd, 2009
12:09 pm
Valentine’s Day is just a useless “holiday”. Thank God I do not have anyone to “celebrate” this with. Women of today are not worth my time and effort. They are too materialistic and think too much of themselves.
Thay only have one thing to offer me and it ain’t worth all the pain and suffering. Where are the women who are true companions?
Sarah B
February 3rd, 2009
12:32 pm
No Donna, you are not alone – I have always thought Valentines day was stupid once over the age of about 20. It is for children and young people who are trying to get a foot in the door. I was always mad when someone I was serious with especially my husband would do something for me on Valentines Day. It is a huge waste of money and rather insulting to know that they need to be told by the radio and TV to show affection. Suprise me in September.
Sarah B
Sarah B
February 3rd, 2009
12:35 pm
Operman1, sounds like we might get along…
Shelley
February 3rd, 2009
12:49 pm
You just try it and let me know how it works for you.
Shelley's Husband
February 3rd, 2009
1:00 pm
I thought sending this article to my wife was a good idea at the time. Not so sure now…
Secure In Myself
February 3rd, 2009
1:09 pm
Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Secretary’s Day, Mailman’s Day, Dog Groomer’s Day, Gay’s and Lesbian’s Day, and Valentine’s Day are all PHONEY Hallmark holidays created out of greed by greeting card companies and flower growers and candy companies and jewelry stores to bilk the masses out of their hard-earned money. And I don’t have to be “with someone” to enjoy my life everyday. LET’S BOYCOTT ALL THESE MADE-UP HOLIDAYS.
red
February 3rd, 2009
1:15 pm
I would love to forget Valentines day. Again, it’s just plain silly when you think about it. But for some reason I cannot get my husband to forget it. Every year he insists on buying me $60 roses and taking me out to some overpriced restaurant. Last year it was roses, an hour at spa sydell and lunch at Fogo De Chao. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy/ed every valentines day and how special he made it for me. But I felt he overspent on all of them. He reminds me of a child when he eagerly hands me those $60 roses and waits for my expression. I just start thinking “Darn baby, we could have use this money for something special that we could both enjoy together”.
TS
February 3rd, 2009
1:38 pm
It’s too bad V-day has been reduced to a day that men have to impress women. Aside from a very young crowd or perhaps the very early stages of dating, shouldn’t it be reciprocal if it’s going to be observed? Years ago, a single girlfriend and I got together for dinner on V-day. I arrived early so I killed some time in a retail store just down from the restaurant. I watched a man VISIBLY AGONIZE over what would be the “perfect” gift. It made my heart ache and I promised myself that I would never do that to a man. Women – you’ll do your man a huge favor and possibly even make your relationship stronger, if you either let him off the hook completely or set him up to win with you in a manner that is attainable for him. I’m married now and my husband and I discuss what, if anything, WE want to do for V-day. This year we are taking each other (yes, we are splitting the cost) to Cirque du Soleil. We were purchasing tickets anyway so it wasn’t an additional expense. We chose V-day because we thought it would be fun and it worked with his travel schedule.
This Guy
February 3rd, 2009
1:42 pm
Shelley’s husband, you should do something special this upcoming weekend instead of Valentine’s Day, just to mess with her head. It probably won’t work seeing as how she might be reading this though. Good luck either way my friend, she sounds like a hand full. P.S. You might not want to make a specific resopnse to me.
ADL
February 3rd, 2009
1:49 pm
Sounds like good woman @11:29 is free this year.
This crap never ceases to amaze me. Kay Jewelers starts their commercials before Thanksgiving and runs them until Easter saying we men are asses if we don’t get her diamonds for Christmas, Valentine’s, etc. To hell with them and Hallmark.
lax3
February 3rd, 2009
2:02 pm
awww dat is not kool
Shelley
February 3rd, 2009
2:10 pm
Men or women, what’s the big deal? If your significant other considers this a special day, what does it hurt to use this day (in addition to others) to meet her expectations for this day and show her how much you love her? As for you, This Guy, it wouldn’t mess with my head if my husband uses this weekend to do something special, but it might mess with his when he has trouble coming up with something special two weekends in a row.
Lily
February 12th, 2009
2:16 am
I don’t want dinner/flowers/presents because my husband feels obligated and hallmark tells us which day we should show our love for each other. A gesture on any other day means so much more to me.
Shannon
February 12th, 2009
3:37 pm
I’m with you!! I actaully just tried to explain this to husband before I came on here and read this….now he’s pissed at me and is accusing me of not loving him anymore. It’s ludicrous!!
flavamissionary
February 15th, 2009
12:39 am
As the sister to the author of this blog, I must comment! I am so proud of my brother! It really is like Feb. 14 with him and his wife. I was just talking about them today in the beauty shop with the other single women. I told them how the author of this blog and his wife seem to really be friends. They talk alllllllllllllll the darn time! So go ahead and skip today….your wife won’t even miss it…for the other 364 when you do show love!
Toaster
September 20th, 2009
4:30 pm
Unfortunately, Kay Jewelers never lets up on their stupid commercials! Check out this funny take on a Kay Jewelers Mother’s Day commercial from Pointless Planet:
http://www.pointlessplanet.com/2009/07/kay-jewelers-spa-day.html