Fairfax County, Virginia, just outside the nation’s capital, has become one of the most freedom-unfriendly counties in the country. In their latest effort to prove the point, county police arrested two bartenders in Herndon, and charged them with felony and misdemeanor offenses that could net them more than four decades each in jail. Their offense? Not murder, assault, pedophilia, drug trafficking, or bilking patrons out of their hard-earned money. The charges facing the two long-time bartenders at Jimmy’s Old Town Tavern all relate to the fact that they were observed by county fire marshals performing a trick for patrons that they have done many times previously — taking a swig of alcohol, then shooting the alcohol out of their mouth across a match or lighter. The resulting example of “fire-breathing” apparently is of sufficient interest to patrons that the bartenders are — or now, were — widely popular.
Apparently, however, at least one busy-body patron at the Tavern was not enthralled by the flaming tricks thus performed; and took a photo which they then sent to the local authorities, who then showed up unannounced and unidentified, and watched a performance. They then arrested the two bartenders, among other things, for — get a load of this — manufacturing an explosive device! Also, the men were charged with various offenses relating to setting a fire.
Insofar as the police and fire officials in Fairfax County obviously spend at least some of their time sitting around figuring out what new or old offenses they can employ to arrest as many average, law-abiding citizens as possible in order to ensure as little fun as possible is conducted within their jurisdiction, one can expect them soon to begin arresting waiters at restaurants in the county who have the audacity to light a chafing dish of Cherries Jubilee or Bananas Foster for a restaurant patron; or who threaten lives by bringing a cake with a lighted candle to a table of a dinner guest celebrating a birthday. Probably, however, restaurants in Fairfax already have been chilled into discontinuing such practices as a result of witnessing the draconian methods employed by the authorities already in the case of the Jimmy’s Tavern terrorists. On can suppose also that the police chief and fire marshal have enjoyed a good toast over their success so far; we can only presume neither has committed the capital offense of lighting a victory cigar.