Think about the last time you saw a skating peach. Now, think about the last time you saw a giant skating peach. I’ll wait.
Then, think about the last time you saw a reeaaaally cute giant skating peach. I’ll wait again. Now, I shall give you an assignment:
Look at my video of the figure skating peach that I spotted today at Southwest Rink at Skyline Park while giving out discounts and a chance to win a free flight. After you waste 57 seconds of your life watching my video, I’d like you to compare your giant skating peach to Southwest-Denver’s giant skating peach. Go ahead, take your time.
All done? Good. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY you can profess to know a cuter peach! NO. WAY. However, if you are delusional enough to think your skating peach is more adorable, please upload a photo (of your peach, not you…unless you are the peach), along with your checking account and routing numbers, and I will deposit no less than one trillion dollars into your account within 7 business days.
Caveat: I must agree that your peach is cuter.
Oh, and your peach must also be a better figure skater.